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Rude/mean comments about your dolls

Dec 1, 2016

    1. Hi,

      Have you ever had experiences where people have rude/mean things to say about your dolls (it can be a fellow hobbyist or not) or just the hobby in general? I've just started in the hobby and my doll hasn't had real life interactions yet (except for the face-up artist who's working on her right now). So far, everyone on the community (DoA, YT, ManikaManila) has been nice and really helpful.

      What did you do or say? How did it make you feel?

      Thanks!
       
      • x 1
    2. Well I get a lot of "Ew they're creepy!!1!11" from my friends but I'm more irritated/annoyed than hurt tbh xD
       
      #2 Ruerie, Dec 1, 2016
      Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
    3. My first doll was a Resinsoul Yui and I posted photos on a Facebook forum knowing not everyone is kind. I thought I was mature enough to handle any negativity. The negative comments I did get ended up really hurting my feelings more than I expected. I have many beautiful dolls now and I love taking their pictures and I even started making stop motion videos with them. But I don't post pictures very often and I'm okay with that. I have them for me, anyway.
       
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    4. I've gotten a few from that stupid Tumblr blog that posts nasty things about people, I really took it to heart and stopped writing chapters of my story and letting it be seen publicly. I know I shouldn't let it get to me like that, but now I just share snippets here and there 8(
       
      • x 1
    5. I've been in this fandom for a very long time now (10 years!) and have over that time had a couple of incidents. They've been few and far between, but they're always pretty weird and hurtful. There are always gross doll-shaming blogs and "confession" blogs, and I got one of my favourites lampooned on one once and that was tiresome. Like, sure not everyone's dolls are going to be to everyone's tastes, but that's no reason to be pointlessly aggro about it...
       
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    6. I've never really gotten nasty comments about my doll, but my Friend got one from her other friend. And the worst part was that they're both in the bjd hobby!! Nasty Friend kept saying how creepy and ugly my friend's doll was, and my friend tried to shrug it off but she said it one too many times, pissing me off as well. We've cut off contact from her lol
       
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    7. Yes, I reluctantly told a close friend who's not known for her 'open mindedness' and she was just really mocking and just taking the rip. I said to her that her attitude was totally unnecessary and she hasn't mentioned my doll since, although she may be softening because she's agreed to make a fur hat. So her nastiness wasn't toward my doll but toward me. I've also told a male friend and he's really keen to see her.
       
      • x 1
    8. I tend to get lots of people calling my dolls creepy and I'm fine with that - I have found that it's people from within the hobby itself that are the worst. I get many nasty comments about how my own face ups should not be done on certain super-well-known-'expensive'-brands and that I should just get someone more 'professional' to paint them. :roll: As much as those comments hurt, the joke's on them because my skills are improving and I've got the photographic evidence to prove it. I'm stubborn that way.
       
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    9. My worst experience was a Health Visitor. To explain for those who don't know what this is, when you have kids you're assigned a "health visitor" who takes over from the midwife after a birth and is there as a sort of liaison and support person for the first 4-5 years of a kid's life. They come over and weigh the kids when they're infants, they remind you to get injections done, they're there to ask questions about development and usually by the time the kid is a toddler they leave and are only there to "call if needed". They're supposed to help with things like potty training suggestions, is my kid developing normally, eating problems, teething problems.. you know, all those parenthood stresses of early childhood.

      Anyway,

      My first health visitor with eldest child was a lovely lady who didn't give a damn about my quirky hobbies.
      When I had my third however, I got the health visitor from HELL.
      She was mean, she was opinionated, she was a conservative old fashioned sexist cow who hated me and my liberal heathen ways.
      She scolded my middle son (who was about 3 at the time) for wearing nail polish (it was HIS nail polish), she hated that youngest son had grown attached to a small handbag and carried it everywhere. She didn't like that my boys were "allowed" (yes, allowed, her words) to play with dolls or had stuff that was pink as well as blue or other colours. And she absolutely completely HATED that I collected dolls.
      Oh.. my god she took personal offense to the dolls.

      She was rude and nasty every time she came over to the point that I got really depressed by her constant judgement and refused to let her back into my house to continue to berate me. EVERYTHING i did was wrong in her eyes. Absolutely everything. I had had enough, I told her to go away.

      So she wrote a letter to social services.

      A letter that was by protocol sent to me as well.
      In this letter is a long rant about how my "obsession with dolls" was dangerous, immature and "distracted me from parenting" and all this other nonsense. Basically she wrote an essay to social services claiming that me collecting dolls made me a "bad parent"
      What? 90% of this letter was basically a rant about my dolls and how awful they were. Wth?

      I admit it, I cried and I cried when i got this letter. It was so nasty and cruel and such outright LIES about me and my devotion to my kids. And you can bet if I had been knitting when she came over or doing something traditionally "house wifey" like baking or something instead of painting a doll while my kids played (I can do both at once lady) or sewing a pair of pants for a doll or something she wouldn't have batted an eyelid. Heck, had I been putting up a shelf (as I was one time she appeared) that was better because it was "normal". Touching up a doll's eyebrows wasn't, so in her twisted mind made me inadequate.

      She was horrible, she used to come over unannounced to try to "catch me out" doing something she didn't approve of. Legally she wasn't supposed to do that, they're meant to give you 24 hours notice and not just drop by, she didn't care, she was trying to get me into trouble out of spite.

      Thankfully social services ignored her nasty letter. I tried to file an official complaint about her but her boss wouldn't listen and just kept repeating "nobody else has complained" and made me feel like it was my fault this woman was so mean to me.

      I endured her emotional abuse for nearly THREE YEARS and when I finally said i'd had enough she tried to get social services to come and punish me. How awful is that? And all because she didn't like my dolls.

      After I launched an official complaint (which was ignored) she showed up on my doorstep again! wth? I told her to go away and she DEMANDED I explain myself.
      I hate conflict, I was scared of her, I told her she was mean and had made up lies about me and I cried and refused to let her in.
      Eventually she went away. Thankfully she's not come back since. But she really put me off allowing these people into my home, made me really paranoid about it all. I have a new health visitor now and she's actually nice, but i'm still nervous when she appears just in case.

      That remains the worst doll related experience i've ever had.

      Most people are actually pretty cool and even if they find it odd, they can't help but be fascinated by the dolls on the shelves and smile when they see how happy it makes me.
      We have workmen come in, builders, plumbers, electricians. A cleaner, grocery delivery men, all sorts and they all just smile at the dolls.
      We've had all sorts through these doors, only this one cow had an issue and tried to make a big deal of it.
      It still makes me mad.

      Especially knowing she's still free to go do it to other people and judge them for their hobbies and accuse them of being bad mothers because they don't conform to her nasty closed minded views. Ugly nasty person that.

      Those "confession" blogs are nasty too. Elitist jerks being jerks and hiding behind anonymity. If you've nothing nice to say, shut up.
       
      • x 19
    10. It didn't happen to me personally (Kinda) but a woman left a really uninformed and rude comment on a post someone made about a different type of doll on Instagram.

      Something along the lines of.
      "No adult should be *playing* with dolls,It is sick and obsessive"

      I responded to her that an adult can have whatever hobby they want,so long as they enjoy it responsiby.

      She responded.
      "Adults shouldn't have dolls PERIOD,they are obsessed if they do."

      My response was basically..
      Doll collecting just like ANY other hobby only becomes obsessive when you put time and money into them that you cannot afford.
      And thus,hinders your livelihood.

      She didn't respond anymore.

      As for (personal) negative experiences within our own community.
      Nothing,I've had people say that my dolls are creepy but not in a rude way.
       
      #10 Bailette, Dec 1, 2016
      Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
      • x 1
    11. SO far, the only negative comment I've gotten was from a former friend when she saw the very first head I got. She just kind of turned up her nose and said in a really mocking manner that the head wasn't worth anywhere near what I paid for it. I didn't pay much attention to it at the time because she very often made judgmental comments to me about things I did or owned.
       
    12. I have a nude doll without eyes or a faceup hanging around my room, I'm hoping to get some stuff for her for Christmas. She's my first doll and I was so excited when I got her, I showed her to my parents and they thought she was really creepy ;v; I dont think so though and i love her!
       
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    13. Nah, everybody in the community has been pretty great. My first face up and clothes were pretty terrible, like drawn on with crayons terrible, and everyone I met was super nice about my doll. Not that I'm much better now, lol. I've seen people online make rude comments, and I really don't understand it. Not every doll is my taste, but that doesn't mean they aren't beautiful in their style. Worst case scenario, you can always see the artistry and love someone puts in their doll.I just hope that when a rude comment is made, the person it is made about realizes the rudeness says more about the speaker than the doll.
       
      • x 4
    14. When my friend borrowed my laptop I got a text from her about the creepy dolls on the screensaver. I replied "my dolls aren't creepy" and she didn't mention them again.

      To be fair when I looked at the folder the photos are from, there are a lot of failed faceup pics, an eye mod and naked bodies so I can see her point!

      Mostly I'm in the closet concerning this hobby because I don't expect people to understand it. I just don't mention it. I haven't known anyone in the hobby be mean but like bluepita said, if someone is dumping on your doll then it says more about them. That this is a competition and they win by stamping down on other people. Those spiteful anon posts give this community a bad rep which is a shame when there are so many genuinely lovely people here.
       
      • x 1
    15. For the most part, people tend to be supportive, curious or just ignore it totally, so I haven't had a lot of people be too rude.

      The worst experiences I've had were a guy saying my doll is "like Chucky" and "super creepy", even though my doll literally looked nothing like Chucky besides being a male doll; and an old lady at Hancock's Fabric asking what dolls I sew for, so I showed her my boy and her immediate reply was "He sure is an ugly thing!" despite his professional faceup, styled wig and company clothing. :sigh

      I've also had the various comments about me wasting money, being childish, having a weird hobby...but usually once I explain that it's an art-based hobby and technically not that different from any other hobby involving adults playing with toys (model trains/cars, action figures, Legos, Gundam figures, Barbie, video games) most people are more understanding.
       
      • x 1
    16. Lol, I actually have had a ventriloquist doll for my whole life, and that scares the pants off everyone in my family. So, family-wise, I'm good with the BJDs. My 17 giant of a nephew came to my house to dog sit for a week, and he had to get his mom to come move that guy. He couldn't sleep because it was watching him, :) Never noticed the entire shelf of BJDs underneath.
       
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    17. I don't show them to many people because they seem to think it's odd! I don't get hurt by the 'oh my god, that's creepy!' Comments but it does bug me because as far as I'm concerned BJDs are no more creepy than action figures or sculptures, and are works of art in their own right!
       
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    18. Didn't hurt but I remember showing my fellow workers a picture of one of my dolls and they said she was creepy! I just asked them how they could find something so cute creepy. Apparently they didn't really know why, so I'm assuming they have simply been brainwashed by horror movies. A few people have said they look too real, but that's not so much a negative, just that they can't handle them personally and I respect that.

      I don't tend to mention it to people I think are not somewhat open minded though, so I've had very little trouble.

      Didn't happen to me, but a friend had someone yell that she needed to "grow up and stop playing with dollies" when she was out taking photos one time. I don't understand why people feel they have the right to judge others.
       
      #18 skyf, Dec 2, 2016
      Last edited: Dec 2, 2016
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      • x 1
    19. At the beginning, people thought they were creepy, but now I've broken them all down and they accept it's just part of me! A lot of my friends ask about them now, and they follow my instagram and are happy for me when I receive a dolly, and then I've even had people in my real-life work as about them when they visit my office- I got a commission that way! I've noticed that as I get older I kind of care a lot less about what people think so that probably helps a lot too hhaha!
       
      • x 1