Rude/mean comments about your dolls

I don't take my dolls out and stay silent about them most of the time since I don't respond to negativity very well. I've been told they were creepy and I respect that. There is just such a negative perception of doll collectors where I live, I already know the reactions to my dolls will not be appreciative (minus my family friends who are asian and "know" bjds). I just watched a "documentary" on doll owners, and suffice to say it really did not help out. I usually tell people I'm buying art which is true, just not the kind they're probably thinking about.

 

I've only had one bad experience personally. It was shortly after getting my first doll (an AoD and still my favourite). I went to my first meet and somebody asked what he was. When I told them, they said they were surprised that such a cheap doll looked so nice but that I should've saved my money for a Volks because they were the only good dolls. Uhhh, no. I buy what I like not what others like. I have to say that that comment was quite hurtful at the time and completely turned me off all Volks products to the point that I refuse to have anything by Volks (dolls, eyes, wigs, clothes, etc.) in my collection. I realize the company isn't represented by that one person but the experience left a seriously bad taste in my mouth.

The Hubby calls them my creepies but that doesn't bother me because I know that while the dolls really freak him out, he's happy that I enjoy them and have something I really like and get creative about. Pretty much everybody around me knows of my collection and I bring dolls in to work fairly frequently. Heck, my wallpaper at work is a group shot of almost all my dolls (it's nearly 2 years old and I've added more dolls since then).

 

Thankfully the only rude comments I've had to put up with were from my husband's family, and mostly they were along the lines of 'OMG creepy dolls!' and a request that I put the dolls away when they visit. Which I don't mind- some people are legit afraid of dolls. Honestly it didn't bother me that much. There have been some nasty things said in the community about 'doll brand x is way superior to doll brand y' but mostly that's on those anonymous blogs. I did run in to one situation that I thought was funny rather than offensive; I shared a pic of one of my dolls on another toy collecting forum and was called out for being 'one of those Volks elitists with way more money than sense.' Doll in question was a Volks, however the head I got in trade for some fashion dolls and the body came second hand from Mandarake for less than $200. So she's one of the 'cheapest' dolls I own. None of these resin pretties are cheap! SOme cost more than others but even so called low end brands can cost hundreds.

 

I expect the "that's creepy" response, and that doesn't bother me too much. I thought they were eerie, beautiful, and fascinating when I first saw them so I can understand that. The only mean response I've experienced was from my own mom. One weekend she asked what I was working on so I told her that I was practicing photography with my dolls, and her reply was something along the lines of, "Oh, well let me get out the crayons!" with a laugh, implying that I was being childish. I was so shocked and hurt by her response that I didn't say anything immediately. I should have. I when I did bring it up later she denied saying that and thought it was mean of me to think that she would say that lol. Keep in mind I live on my own, have my bills paid, and am not living above my means. She just sees dolls and most hobbies in general as a waste of time and money It's not in my nature to be rude back, but I won't be afraid to speak up in a polite manner next time.

 

Thankfully I haven't experienced anything too aggressively mean or rude yet, although I'm still a fairly fresh BJD owner. Occasionally when my wife and I go to the park, we'll have some people around the area give us odd looks or point our way in question while we're taking pictures, but it's not anything terrible. The one time that the wifey and I brought our dolls on vacation where a lot of family was, the most words exchanged were, "You guys are a couple of weirdoes," when my father saw my wife and I taking our dolls out to take pictures of them. But that's nothing unusual. He calls me weird all the time, and doll collecting is quite possibly the tamest hobby of mine. XD

Later on that night, my father was actually admiring my dolls and asking a lot of curious questions, as was everyone else, so it turned out alright in the end, lol.

 

Non-doll people are usually going to think your dolls are "creepy" though it's up to their personality whether they find it appropriate to say to you or not. In either case this is because they don't know how to articulate the uncanny valley feeling that they get from dolls. The dolls are realistic but slightly off so the usual human instinct is to have a fear response. There are also random weirdos online who sometimes find BJD pictures and mock them and the owners but this is the kind of person who will do that to anyone for any reason. They're insecure and miserable and hide behind the anonymity of the internet to spew their crap and try to make themselves feel better. If you encounter one (which you likely wont unless you're looking for them) just ignore them, they are not worth your time. The majority of legitimate bjd collectors are really nice people.

 

I would assume that its because they are dolls and not because they are toys. Most people dislike dolls. They find them creepy. They have negative feelings towards the dolls specifically, which they don't hold towards things like action figures.

My dad collects hotwheels cars. He has them out on display and no one finds it weird. My mom collects old fiesta dishes and has them on display too, but again no one finds it weird to have their collections on display. Then again no one makes horror movies about plates that will kill you in your sleep.

In the end, I think its less about collecting as it is collecting something other people don't like.

 

I actually use to be that person, to an extent. I've never been rude to anyone, or called their dolls creepy! But I watched Chucky at a pretty young age and I have been pretty much terrified of dolls ever since. I remember as a kid my mom bought me this gorgeous doll (on her own free will, I didn't ask for her) that was almost life sized (she was about 4ft) and she had on the most beautiful dress. She looked antique and gorgeous. The very first night she was in my room I stayed up the entire night because I SWORE she was moving LOL. I forced my mom to take her out of my room the next day, and she ended up selling her shortly after.

Funny story, but fast forward to 20 years later, I still think Chucky is super creepy, but BJD's definitely remind me nothing of him. I love mine, and I'm not creeped out by them at all. I don't think its fair to say they're creepy just because you have been creeped out by Chucky and The Puppet Master lol. Obviously to each their own, and I would never force my friends to be around my dolls if they found them creepy. Luckily I don't have to worry about anyone else being creeped out by them because its just me and my husband and he thinks they're pretty

 

Yes, I have been offended, ridiculed and hurt by a number of people who thought they were my friends.

Frankly, I'm so tired of the "oh, that's creepy" refrain--so overdone, so unoriginal, so affected (it's cool to be afraid of dolls).
They're dolls. Just dolls. So we know about Chucky and that's just a movie. Not real life. Dolls don't move on their own, don't kill anyone, and those who make that comment aren't 5 anymore.

If people can't see past their own silliness and are insensitive to my feelings and can't appreciate the artistry and detail in these dolls, I don't even bother to share. I don't need or want anyone else's judgement of my hobby. Some people can be really thoughtless, especially where I live which tends to be very conformist, red neck and close minded. Why expose myself to that?

I am very careful and choose to share with kind people, after I get to know them. Most people are quite pedestrian in their tastes as well as their thoughts. You know...that pearls before swine type of thing. I am quite selective at this point.

 

No one has ever made an even slightly rude comment about my dolls, and every one I know, knows about them. I go to doll meets, I take them to restaurants. I work as a security officer, and yes, sometimes I do take a doll to work with me. I am a plump little gray haired woman of 53, and, well, I guess I am just scarier than my dolls, giggle!

 

I had one friend in particular who would make rude comments about my dolls. She wasn't trying to be funny, she just really didn't like them, and she was nasty about it. After a while, I realized that there were a lot of other things she did that weren't nice either. She generally wasn't a pleasant person, it turns out. So I basically removed her from my life. I deleted her on Facebook and stopped hanging out with her. Good riddance!

 

Thankfully I've never had anything really mean outside of the usual; "I can't believe you'd spend that much" or "Dolls are creepy!" However, there are definitely some really toxic communities on Tumblr. Even just a few minutes ago, I was looking around for more information on the difference between Cereberus Project, Fairyland, and Luts and ended up on a BJD Confessions post that just said; "I think CP sculpts are f***ing ugly and Luts dolls look so much better now." It left such a bad taste in my mouth because I think CP has some of the most beautiful sculpts I've ever seen, along with great engineering and ideas. There are lots of dolls I don't care for, but I keep my opinion to myself, because as long as someone else loves them that's all that matters.

People can be so nasty at times, it's really a shame. Thankfully DoA tends to be very kind, which I appreciate. I try to stick towards that end of the hobby versus the Tumblr side.

 

Ahahahahaaaa this is opening a whole can of worms...

I was harshly ridiculed and criticized for my dolls and inexperience when I first joined the BJD hobby 10 years ago. You can still find some of the drama on the Gaia Online BJD guild. I was also personally insulted/made fun of, along with my dolls, for quite some time on a now defunct forum (the oldbies in the hobby know about this). I was bashed for quite a few years all because I had shoddy customizing skills.
I left the BJD meetup group I was part of and basically laid low for years. I didn't even think of getting new dolls for years because I didn't want to deal with people in this hobby.

The tumblr confession blog is the current "bad spot". Hope you don't end up on it. :/

There are many awful people in this hobby who are ready and willing to drag people down. You have to find people who are the good ones, the people who aren't jerks, and stick with them.

 

When I was only 7 my then 9 year old neighbor told me it was weird I still played with dolls. I was a kid playing with Barbies, Cabbage Patches and action figures. I told her it was weird she didn't play with dolls and shrugged it off.
At 13 I was told by a friend of my big sister, I'd have to stop buying Barbies and playing with dolls soon. I asked why? Are they going to stop making them? When then told I was getting too old, I just laughed and said no such thing as too old for anything.

I'm 33 now and I have depression and anxiety, my dolls normally help me fight off both. though I am no longer as thick skinned as the innocent kid that just thought toys were normal to love and enjoy forever. I still collect dolls and action figures and Lego. My BJDs are a great joy in my life. I can shrug off most comments, heck if someone thinks my doll is creepy it's almost bonus points.

However about five years ago I was taking photos outside in my own yard of a doll for a photo game/contest on some other forum board. I had some adult bullying, well teen on adult. Across the street and down half a block lived a pretty big family with some girls of almost collage age, and they were super rude. So the one time I go to take outdoor photos at home they started yelling a good number of hateful hurtful things at me. Everything from remarks on my weight (I'm a tiny bit plus sized) to my being mentally slow and just a string of nastiness about the poor doll. When I ignored them they walked half way across the street to make sure I could hear them call me names. I ended up going inside until my boyfriend came over and talked me into finishing taking my photos. I was so disheartened by it I didn't want to go outside for days. Later I felt I should have taken the doll in and then went and had a talked with their parents, but I'm just not that kind of person and I try to avoid fights. They moved away not long after so in the end it mattered not. I have promised myself that if I am ever picked on that badly in the future I will speak up and call the person out on being rude and hurtful and bullying. Even if it doesn't make the person stop it's better to call people on things then let them get away with it. I don't think I'll ever stop playing with dolls and toys and I love this hobby, that was the only time I was ever picked on for it.

 

I usually tell people I collect hand-painted art dolls if I don't want to go into greater detail. The word "art" tends to make people go from "you're a weird person buying toys" to "you're a slightly eccentric person collecting artwork" and leave it at that.

I've had a few friends freak out and tell me they didn't want to see photos/speak to me again (jokingly) and it was kinda hurtful but I didn't really press it. If they're not interested then I just don't talk about it. I had one friend I played competitive video games with who was always this curious dude who had to research everything and I sent him some photos of my dolls (after he asked). He wanted to know if they were sex dolls because they had (what he thought to be) over-defined/too pointy nipples. The funniest part was that he wasn't being judgemental at all, just like, curious/thoughtful. If I told him yes, they were, he was just gonna be like "neat" and ask something else. I told him I hoped they weren't. He just kinda kept thinking about it and didn't ask again.

 

someone on tumblr said my song was anything special and that he was boring. Also my mom keeps calling the same one gay since he has longer wigs

 

i showed my brother a couple that i was considering said they were creepy and looked like they would slit his throat in his sleep...then he told me that they looked like reject k-pop stars he's not wrong about the k-pop thing though

 

While I normally get decently positive feedback from people about my dolls, I did once get an insult from a stranger when I picked up my Sionna. The lady at my apartment's office asked me what was in such a large box and I told her. She seemed intrigued so I took the time to show her the doll only to have her turn and say that was completely childish and she hoped I'd never show anyone else.

 

I've had people tell me my dolls are creepy, but they mostly say it in a fun way. Like, I've always been odd, and they're used to that, so its more like "oh what's this new oddity she's into now? Haha that's kinda creepy! Okay sure. Have fun."

Some of my very close friends actually have fears of dolls in general, so they don't want to see them, but they're very supportive and understanding. They're happy for me when I'm excited about the dolls, and they do occasionally let me show off and babble about my dolls.

For the most part, even the people who don't like them just kinda go yeah okay that's kinda creepy but whatever. But just remember, when it comes to the things you like, the people who matter don't care, and the people who care don't matter.