Rude/mean comments about your dolls

Most people are pretty accepting of other peoples' interests, but sometimes even an off-hand comment or question can be quite rude. Some people feel so willing to diss other people's hobbies and interests, when you know for a fact that if you dissed their interests they would take offence super easily.

I find it hard sometimes to defend myself (I'm not a confrontational person at all!) so when someone disses something I like I can never think of what to say. Sometimes I even agree with them to make it better, even if I don't actually agree with them!

What do you guys say when someone says something bad about your dolls?

 

I just try not to engage. Just...take the high road. (Plus it gets under people's skin more if they think their comments don't get to you. lol!) I have this one friend who said to me one time, "I see you got another creepy doll." I just said, "Yeah, I love dolls," and then changed the subject. I mean, he doesn't like them, so it's not like he's going to start a whole conversation about it. And if he had, I'd just say, "How's work?" lol!

 

As @Fin Raziel said, it's best when you don't show any concern for their comment...

When you react, you show them they have an authority over you in a sense... to not be bothered takes away any pull they had on you...

 

As far as friends go, I don't surround myself with the types that would be weirded out, as me and my friends are the weird ones haha. I suppose most people that know me know I am strange and creative and I've honestly gotten mostly good feedback about my doll hobby (amongst my many others, I think my dead bug collection freaks people out the most.)
If on the chance that someone did say something I would probably just laugh it off. If they really push the envelope and say something mean I'd probably just roast them. Being a comedian in the past has it perks of being able to be quick on the draw with witty retorts.

 

I try to not provoke the other person and just let them rant because they obviously have their own issues if they feel the need to be mean on purpose. There are some times where people can be a bit careless with their words so I just don't take them to heart and accept the fact that everyone has different tastes. I know I have said careless things myself so I try to play devil's advocate and understand where the other person is coming from rather than blowing up and getting angry at them.

 

You all make good points, I should probably learn to let go of the mean things people have said. But it can be hard.

@meatmelon you're signature quote from Oscar Wilde fits this thread nicely

 

I’ve had people I know in person say not nice things about my girls... more commonly it’s ‘the Annabelle effect’ where as they think all dolls are evil and possessed; despite their cute as button appearances it doesn’t bother me anymore.. but it was hard at first when I wanted to show the outfits I had made to my friends, and the only thing they had to say was about how my dolls may murder me in my sleep I love my girls, they’re cute as anything! That’s all that matters

 

I wouldn’t get annoyed about the creepy doll comment - especially because at least one of my dolls is intended to be creepy - but my family does it all the time. They can’t even ask me to (say) move my craft supplies without making a joke about how my dolls will “come alive” and “murder them!” Usually it’s funny - like no, if Dagny comes alive she’s going to pet our dogs and maybe fangirl over our sewing machine. But with it being the only line they have to say about my dolls, for years and years... it gets tiring. Likewise, my mum keeps commenting on how gross Boris’ facial scars are. I mean, he’s supposed to be disfigured, but at a certain point...

Also, not intentionally rude, but for some reason people repeatedly misgendering Otakar upsets me a lot. No one in the hobby has made the mistake and if it only happens once - well, that’s fine. But some people just don’t get the memo that long hair doesn’t equate to being a woman... (it’s also just Otakar that gets this for some reason? Who knows.)

 

My husband actually kept saying they were creepy and it made me feel really sad and uncomfortable. I have my own hobbies and I just do them, but still. I talked with him about it and let him know how it made me feel and now he’s a lot better about it. As long as I don’t display my doll where he has to see him all the time and don’t show him dolls without eyes or face ups it’s fine.

I am a bit nervous to post photos on other forums or groups than doll ones. My friends know about it and they’re fine with it, but even though I make clothes and want to showcase them online I don’t really do that... Afraid of comments I suppose.

 

After more than a decade in the hobby, those occasional "dolls are creepy" comments don't provoke me at all anymore. To tell the truth, people are quite positive about my dolls most of the time.

What I think is kind of rude, even if people actually do this to show their interest: "I think your doll looks like So-and-so." Unless it's a Minimee or character doll of someone, I don't want my doll to look like anyone else, especially not like someone's cousin's neighbour or friend's of a friend's child who I've never met in my life. People can be totally insistent about it, and it annoys the hell out of me.

What bugs me is that in my language (German) the word doll (Puppe) is female, so people would naturally refer to any doll as "she" even when it's obviously an anatomically correct 70 cm guy with muscles. It can be a bit annoying, because the word Puppe being female implies that your character must be female too.

 

I don’t think there’s any excuse for mean-ness or being rude and especially not repeatedly...but I also have to say that I have learned to understand a negative reaction when a doll person has a blank, bald or eyeless doll sitting around, is holding a disembodied head or body part, or is carrying said head around, like some people do with their floating heads that have characters. I can see why sometimes non-doll people can maybe react badly without thinking. I know people have reacted very differently to one of my finished and properly clothed, posed and styled dolls than they did to an unfinished, eyeless one that took them by surprise in a heap on a table.
In a way, I think we within the hobby are so used to seeing the dolls in all the various states of disarray that we may forget how jarring some of the sights might be to people who aren’t familiar with doll customizing at all.

 

Most of the time I don't get any negativity towards my BJD's. People are always nice to me on social media. I know some people experience the opposite. A few not really negative things happened to me lately was that one of my Aunts said that my doll was creepy looking because of how realistic she looked. I actually thought it was kind of funny. I bought a doll head with no eyes or face up and I was so excited about owning the sculpt I showed one of my friends (who is into BJD's as well) and he just started screaming. I wasn't hurt, but annoyed because he wouldn't take the time to admire the sculpt.

 

I can shrug off the "dolls are creepy" bits in general because most of the time they come from complete strangers who don't matter. But once I brought my two tinies to an event (I volunteer at a museum) so I could take pictures of them with the historical artifacts, and one of my work-friends just kept freaking about how weird and ugly and gross and creepy they were. It was annoying and it made me lose my taste from bringing my tinies out for a while, because here's a person I see regularly and I want to be able to share my hobbies and take pictures in piece without them going on and on and on (and on...) about how horrible my girls are. Like, dayum, what would you say about gore BJDs?
Most people I know already know I'm weird and do strange things so having yet another weird, strange hobby doesn't phase them. Which is kinda nice in a way. Makes me feel like most people I know are more cool with BJDs than they are with my pet tarantulas or that I'm going vegan (ugh. You want mean comments. Try being vegan!)

 

Well, there's people with phobias, or are just creeped out by things---

Pediophobia is the unwarranted, irrational and persistent fear or worry of dolls. It is a specific phobia belonging to the category of 'automatonphobia'. ... Many adult sufferers of Pediophobia are also known to fear little children.

Automatonophobia can be loosely defined as the fear of wax figures, humanoid robots, audio-animatronics, or other figures designed to represent humans. Only rarely does the fear become a full-blown phobia, but it is relatively common to experience hesitation or nervousness when confronting these figures.

I do wish these people would try an keep their fears to themselves--but I guess some can't help it!

I try to ignore it and just think--"wow, that person has some irrational fears!" (I've know people who didn't like pictures of people's faces hung on the walls because it looked like they were staring at them and they wouldn't be able to sleep!)

I've never had a problem with bad comments made by other doll owners, than goodness!!! (they really should know better--but... just because they own dolls doesn't necessarily mean they are all polite people! I --being a little biased-- think doll owners are better than most, but they probably have most of the flaws other humans have).

 

Well, I see that people love my doll from the bottom of their hearts or really hate it. I often hear that my doll is ugly, I even heard that I am not normal because I decided to buy him, not a typical doll. But on the other hand, there are many people who think my doll is pretty and want to hug it.

 

The most common insults are comparisons to the movie Annabelle which has an UGLY AF doll but most of my closer friends have gotten used to my dolls :') but omg I read some of the stuff on this thread and woah.. the world is truly an ugly place

 

Warnings for language and for my gf’s Mom making a joke about self harm/suicide.

Okay, I never wanted to be in this thread or participate here, but something happened that I need off my chest, cause I’m mad and I can’t take it up with the lady who said it. So it’s.... about a year ago. I make my girlfriend a doll of her most important character, dressed, wigged, like basically a fullset of her boy, right? And he’s in dark clothes and has a black and silver long-ish wig, and she has had this character longer than the 4 years we’ve been dating so he’s very important to her.

And her mother. Her mother is the reason we’re in the closet. Her mother makes my life hell. Her mother once told mine (when were were both 18, mind you) that I was manipulative and toxic to her daughter, all the while she was the one constantly guilt tripping her and telling her everything. About her is wrong and I don’t like hate, but I actually legitimately hate this woman so much it burns me to my core, for what she’s done to the love of my life.

Anyway, that rant shouldn’t be there,,, but that’s fine. But o made this doll do my love, and I’ve probably put about $700 into making him perfect, and her mother, she comes into the room to see him, and at first is like “what the f is this ugly thing?” (Am I allowed to swear on this forum? I never know?) and my girl just looks crushed, so I start trying to explain, cause I’m an idiot. And she looks at him and goes “oh. Well he looks like the kind of little emo shit who’d go slit his wrists.” And I’m like what the actual hell? Okay, for one her daughter is feeling awful cause she thinks O wasted a butt ton of money, and for another it’s not okay to talk about self harm or suicide like that at all. That’s a big thing in my friend group. I know more people who’ve been suicidal than who haven’t. And it was months before my love even mentioned the doll to me.

Only 4 more years till she moves out. Fml.

 

I never had big issues with mean comments online. I tend to not have many followers on social media and that helps because the more reach your socials have, the more likely it is that you're going to find someone mean. I might have had one rude comment on instagram a while back, but I just deleted it and that was it.

As for real life situations, I get a bit petty when people compare my dolls to children's doll and think I am childish, since I am in this hobby for the artistic side, and the collection/customisation. Most people understand when I explain they are more similar to mobile sculptures than they are to toys, and usually that's it. I had a friend laugh at my doll but she was never mean about it again, so I didn't take offense.
To be fair I am really cautious about telling people I collect dolls, and usually only tell someone if I know they're going to be nice about it.

 

I usually have to listen to that my dolls are Chucky or any other horror movie doll from my father in law. Husband says he means it as a joke, but I can't really get over it. I mean, they look nowhere like horror movie dolls?

 

People are INCREDIBLY rude sometimes. I have imgur so that I can post images on here and as soon as I post anything, people downvote it or say unpleasant things. I understand that dolls are not for everyone, (and that I am admittedly far from being a photographer,) but no need to be nasty