Scared of dolls!

I'm not afraid at all, in fact I feel safer with tons of them around for some reason. I even like horror dolls up and to a point. I have a Chucky on my bookshelf actually. It's sort of an in joke. It was a gift from my old roommate who did not like dolls at all and who didn't want them all over our house while she lived with me. It was hard having her for a roommate. She was a good friend and she was in a tough spot financially speaking and having major problems with her GF so I asked her if she wanted to live with me for a while so she could save money.

She was pretty desperate to move. The relationship was just horrible and the woman was more than a bit abusive to her. Yet she hesitated because of the dolls. She got used to them in time but she never did like sitting around looking at them so most of the time we hung out in the kitchen or in her room if we wanted to. She ended up staying with me a lot longer than we planned but eventually moved out because she found a sane GF and they wanted to move in together. She says she misses living with me but doesn't miss the Valley of the Dolls one bit...

To give her credit though she was able to handle her phobia enough that she's given me a doll or two over the years, but I do tease her about it a bit and she teases me back about me being a doll hoarder. She found Chucky at a thrift. She took great delight in bringing him home to me. She said I might as well have him around since I was determined to scare the life out of her by collecting a zillion dolls and he was the scariest doll of all to her. I told her there were worse dolls out there.

This scariest doll I've ever seen is the Regan doll from The Exorcist and as much as I love dolls and horror I am not too sure that I would want it in my house. There's a video on Youtube. She's pretty freaky. Whoever created that doll was one sick soul... LOL

 

I recently started a relationship with someone I'm serious about. I told him about the hobby, at first he seemed disinterested so I didn't talk about it for a long time. Till I got my recent two dolls. Which he watched me open up over skype. I know he's afraid of some dolls due to past movies like Chucky. But we watched it together and he said it wasn't as scary as he remembered. Probably helped that I was laughing the whole time.
Eventually I told him about all the things people do with BJDs and all the types of BJDs and he said it was interesting and never thought about how complex the art can get. He seems okay about it and asks when I'll be working on mine occasionally. I think the one thing that might creep him out is if I clean them and have to take them apart. Especially scooping out the eyes.

When I got the new dolls he did say "I dunno how I feel about this guy flashing his dick at you." Which was hilarious so we just laughed. But (when we live together) I will still keep them in a cabinet like I do now, for sun protection, keep them hidden, and other reasons (there are young kids in his family). Probably try to clean them or work on them while he's at work or something. If I have a doll at my desk because I feel like hanging out with one he'll just have to deal with that then.

 

My boyfriend isn't scared of bjds, so it's okay. He doesn't like other type of dolls like china dolls, I have a couple of them but I don't have them on display so it's okay.

That being said, I think the bigger the doll the more scary I find them. I wouldn't like a lusion doll or the really tall human sized doll.

 

My boyfriend is alright with the dolls. He does find them all a bit creepy but not to the point where he can't be in the room with them. The more anime-styled ones (Dollfie Dreams, Smart Doll, etc.) are the less creepiest. When I have a doll I want, or talk about my OC that would fit a doll, look at pretty clothes on Etsy and show him pictures, talk about any companies that have sales, and everything else - he just says 'that's cool' and 'good for you hun' and ask little questions.

It isn't because he's annoyed or wants me to stop blabbing - he's told me that he just doesn't know what to say cause it is my hobby. I am the same way with his hobby of collecting old and unusual video game consoles and systems. I just smile and go 'Ooooo' and 'Ahhhh' when he shows me what he gets and we talk about it because I adore how excited he gets and I know he's happy. So we support each other in our hobbies - when to encourage and make the other hold back.

The sweetest thing he did was text me at work to remind me to order the Impldoll Jerry as soon as I got home since he is limited to 50 pieces worldwide. He knew only because I mentioned it but that he still reminded me and was worried for me was an absolute treasure.

 

As a kid I was totally indifferent to dolls. I remember getting a Barbie and Horse combo as a gift when I was small and I don't even remember the Barbie but I had that horse for years and years. Porcelain dolls and plastic babies were creepy.
When I got to my late teens I hadn't thought of dolls for years but I found out about BJDs and thought they were cool.
Early 20's and I just love my dolls.

People change!

 

Hi! I think the title is pretty straightforward, but I will explain a bit more anyway.

I've always been a doll lover and hoarder, starting with Barbies and porcelain dolls until now with vinyl and resin dolls. The problem is, my current partner is TERRIFIED of dolls. He can't stand to look at them, and many times when he's over I have to lock them in another room or just hide them from plain sight. It breaks my heart, both for my babies and for not being able to talk about/share something I love with a person I also love (although I understand and I don't try to force it upon him or anything).

So my question is, has this happened to any of you? How do you deal with this? Is there any way you can think of of reassuring the person who has this problem?

 

I don't have anyone in my life who is doll phobic, but based on what I've read over the years, keeping the doll's in another room/generally out of sight is pretty common. (I'm going to assume you don't mean "locked up" literally. That seems a bit overboard. )

I think the bigger concern, to me, is that not being able to talk about your interests with someone you care about seems to be causing strain in your relationship. If your boyfriend is not able to even talk about dolls, then you should definitely try to find local doll friends that you can talk to.

If having a partner who supports you and with who you can discuss your projects, even if they don't share the same level of interest, is really important to your own well being - it wouldn't be wrong to consider that your current boyfriend may not be the person you'll spend the rest of your life with.

But, that is ultimately a conversation you need to have with yourself, to decide what you want and can compromise on, and then with your boyfriend, to communicate your needs. Hopefully you'll be able to find a workable middle ground.

Good luck! I hope everything works out.

 

Thankfully I have only experienced positivity, indifference and amusement from my family and friends so I don't have any experience with this scenario but I'll see if I can suggest something helpful!

Reading this suggests that you have a second room available for your dolls to be stored, perhaps you could permanently set your whole or part of your collection there.

It's probably not the most ideal choice as you seem to be very attached to your dolls but if your partner really does appear to have pediophobia (fear of dolls) then it may be the only solution and to also talk about boundaries (what dolls creep him out the most, the least etc).

And for the only thing that can reassure them would be a psychiatrist or psychologist as they would have the most experience in helping people with their phobias

Hope this helps, even if it's just a little bit!

 

Sadly, I don't think that people who suffer from pediophobia can be reassured that dolls are nothing to fear, especially if their reaction to dolls causes the person you love psychological and emotional distress.

While I currently don't have to deal with a person who suffers from pediophobia, or fear of dolls, as a child, my grandmother from my dad's side of the family was absolutely terrified of dolls. Any time my grandmother would visit, my mom would take all of our dolls and literally lock them away in a closet so that my sister and I would not be tempted to retrieve them.

We were just children, so we didn't really understand my grandmother's extreme aversion towards dolls. At the time, my mother would only tell us that she was afraid of dolls. My grandmother spent her entire lifetime completely terrified of dolls.

I don't think your current partner will be able to overcome their phobia if it is as severe as you say, and if he does, it might take years whith the appropriate resources.

Your best bet will be to talk to your partner about dedicating a special place for your dolls where sadly he won't be able to enter because of his phobia.

 

Since you cannot talk about your hobby with your most special person I think it is important that you find some friends in this hobby with whom you can discuss or just talk about dolls with.

The biggest issue is to find a location where your dolls can be placed without them troubling your partner but at the same time also without them being hidden in a closet. Usually if I have to hide them I'd do so in the bedroom but considering he is your partner that's not a good suggestion :/ Perhaps within a glass montre where they can be locked up. it might provide some security knowing that they are locked in somewhere while you are still able to see them.

 

Thank you all for all the interesting feedback! It really helps to also have input from other people, and it also makes me think a bit more objectively about the problem and how to deal with it properly ^^

@Kymera I did mean in another room, you're right, locked up sounds wrong xD (although I'm sure he would do it if he could hehe). I don't know if I would go to that extreme, but I do think having local friends to talk to would probably help like you say

@Trickster_BJD actually, I don't always have a room available for them, sadly, so I can't do that. Otherwise yes, I would put all of them in there and just have it as my hobby room >< And I don't know if he is actually at the point of needing to see a doctor for this, since we don't talk about it much anyway because it creeps him out :/ I'm kind of interested in seeing his reaction to my upcoming male doll, since until now I only had girls and I know that creeps him out the most. Maybe that will help.

@Lady Alexiel I really don't know if he would be officially diagnosed of pediophobia if he were to go to a doctor for that, for now I just know of his reactions and what he tells me. I know I don't have to go to the same extents you did with your grandmother, but they can't be out of a closed cabinet and I can't play with them while he's around (I can't even imagine his reaction if he saw me changing eyes or something...). If we ever live together, I think I will follow your advice and ask for a room for myself where I can display them and play with them safely.

@Nico Robin You're probably right. For some reason I seem to have a lot of trouble finding friends in the hobby, it's especially weird since I live in a city that hosts anual conventions with the theme of dolls o.O And right now, my dolls are in my bedroom, inside a glass cabinet. If the door of the room is open, he can't see the cabinet and he feels "reassured" by the fact that they are behind doors. I can't take them out while he's around, but it's also the best solution I could find for now.

 

@NessieChan
Best of luck with figuring out the middle ground between the hobby you adore and the person you love.

I only mentioned pediophobia based on the way you describe his reactions towards dolls and his refusal to even address the issue.

None of us here can actually tell you with certainty if he suffers from this particular phobia, or if it's just a simple fear, but speaking with your partner about it may actually give you more insight about this issue and it might even help you find out what he is most comfortable with in terms of your hobby as a doll collector.

Communication with your partner is definitely the key.