Self Sabotage

I feel like a lack of time prevents me from enjoying this hobby (and all my other hobbies) to its full potential.
I'd love to make things for my dolls and polish their look/character but I just run out of time or can't manage my time well enough to fit it in. They are honestly my lowest priority. Same thing with face-ups. I have a blank doll who's been waiting close to a year to have a face-up =/
You can always buy beautiful items of course but it gets expensive so money is an issue too >.<

At the end of the day, I still enjoy staring at my dolls when I can so its not all bad haha.

 

Hmm self-sabotage...I think for me it, it's the money I spend in this hobby. I had tried to limit myself at one point but now I've given up. I have 0 control over acquiring new dolls or clothes or eyes or wigs for them when I am in the mood to shop and determined to get something. It may HELP that I have specific tastes - aka fantasy/medieval/renaissance - but what I do find often costs more than ordinary things. I have 3 layaways going right now. 2 years ago, that would never happen. I've lost my mind!

I think I might have sabotaged myself with space vs acquisition as well. Other issues would be time management - time to take photos, time to make repairs, time to work on projects. My dolls are my most expensive and recent hobby and yet low on my priority list for completing tasks.

I would say I bought them because I am a collector by nature. I wasn't neglected or abused. I don't have depression (anxiety yes). I just really like them. They are statues I can dress and pose and move as I wish. Higher quality and more durable than my off topic action figures or plastic models. Plus I have friends who have them so now it's something we can talk about!

 

I tend to buy way too many clothes...and impulse buy. I have diagnosed major depression and adhd and was in an abusive relationship for 3 years...which ended with one of my dolls getting a cracked knee. My dolls are my comfort items, i can make them look how i want (aside from faceups), make them characters or not etc...but the money thing is what gets me. I'm in a much better and safer place than i was years ago thankfully i just have to work on how much i spend.

 

I doubt myself a lot if I actually want something, or if my bipolar is steering me. It makes it difficult to enjoy the process, BUT! When I do finally receive the things I wanted, I'm over the moon. Just getting a nice wig for my off topic doll made me gasp like a little kid at how pretty she looked. So, as expensive as the hobby can be and how worried I get about my bipolar, I think it's worth it to feel that childish sense of wonder again. I've tried lots of things and lots of hobbies, but BJDs in particular get me right in the heart.
The only other thing that gets to me like that is petting puppies and dogs that I meet in town. I really want a dog, more than anything, but my current circumstances make it so I can't get one

 

Money....it's always the money because I want to spoil my doll to high heavens. I love him to death. We often nap together a lot and spend a lot of our time together at home - he's usually always in arms reach. It doesn't help that ID75 sized clothes are really expensive just to begin with.

I want to get him everthing I like that I see, but ofc that's not possible. I have a high spend compared to a lot of people but my conscience makes me feel bad a lot of the time. For me, I'm someone that would rather have 300 outfits and 1 doll rather than 50 dolls with a few outfits each.

 

A lot of it for me has been financial problems (perma sick leave due to mental health issues, plus stupidly high rent). I've managed to save up for dolls over the years (although I only own 1 now), but putting aside some money for wigs shoes, clothes eyes... that's been difficult. I've even had a really hard time looking through websites just thinking about what to get, because it gives me anxiety. Can't justify spending that money.
I don't know if I'd call it self-sabotage, but since you mentioned it in OP ^^'
I do wish I'd done more for the dolls I've owned, and I so regret selling some of them. I wanna make a proper effort now that my situation has changed slightly for the better (although I suspect it to be brief - strike while the iron's hot) for the one doll I still have.

 

I may have self-sabotaged somewhat. Since right before the covid situation was a thing, I was having multiple health issues that took a long time for me to get help and managed. In addition to that, my son left home, I sold my house, I moved, and then took on a side job. For a little while, I really struggled to just use my hands and arms to do my work, so at home I rested myself as much as possible. Now that I can move much better and have recovered a lot more energy, I'm just trying to catch-up with a lot of things. I still have a few more boxes to sort of odd paperwork and who-knows-what.... so I sometimes do let myself get overwhelmed with all of the 'important' things and forget that part of taking care of me is doing things that bring me joy too. I'm trying to do better with prioritizing time to enjoy dolly things. Luckily, dolls wait as they are very patient. I'm most happy when I am able to do things with them very regularly such as changing clothes, making things and meeting up with my bjd group friends. Shopping happens sometimes, but I'm never sad if I don't have the money to do it. I'm really like to remember how hard it was for me to get the first one and still very proud of myself for waiting until I could comfortably afford it. I do not know what the future holds, but for the foreseeable future I should be okay to enjoy what I have now. I'm really excited to start regular meetups again, even though I have no idea when that will happen.

 

.

 

I’m dissatisfied with ridiculously slow speed my faceup skills have grown. The faceups I give my dolls are very mediocre and don’t even live up to my own standards, so my dolls always feel “not good enough” to me, but I still do my faceups myself because it’s how I bond with my dolls and is a good creative outlet for me. So I end up feeling perpetually frustrated with myself and my dolls…. Only on my bad mental health days, though…. Which has sadly been most days recently.

 

I'm not sure if it's "self sabotage", but I would always rather buy another doll than spending money on the ones I already own. I don't know if I'm just too impulsive or if consumerism is just working its magic but I wish I would focus on what I have rather than what I could have.

 

I self sabotage all the time, not just with my dolls but really with anything that's "just for me".
It's gotten worse over the years but up until recently I've tried my best to fight against it and set aside time and space for me to do the things I enjoy. It's always an ongoing battle and I have moments where I get on a kick where I think I should just sale off all my dolls since I rarely do anything with them coupled with the judgement that I shouldn't spend money on something so frivolous, but luckily I've never gone through with it since my dolls are one of the things that really bring me comfort and joy.
I feel more at home with myself when I have my dolls nearby or am working on or planning some doll project or another. It's one of the few ways I can escape from the less than happy parts of reality so I try not to let myself get too down about all the things I haven't gotten around to doing with my collection yet.It's
So now I'm back to needing to fight for taking the time to have something just for me.

 

I empathize with everyone here, the depression, mental illness and all and dolls to keep us somewhat afloat in one way or another... Besides that, for me, it's a lack of time. I work full time and have chronic illness, so getting home I most often can't do much but fall into bed... and spend my five hours trying to relax, but often failing I wish we had three day weekends so much

 

I’m finally in a financially good place in my life and now people are coming out of the woodwork asking for hand outs so it still feels like I can’t really spoil my dolls the way I want to yet.

It’s happened so many times. Finally a good spot, can buy dolls again. Doll gets here and something happens that prevents me from finishing it. Doll sits with no clothes or eyes for months, making me depressed and guilty.

Got the job, the house, the savings and peace of mind and I still can’t enjoy my hobby because I’m paranoid I’ll get yet another text message.

 

I know how you feel. *huggles* It's a big part of what keeps me from spending money on anything. But I'm learning that sometimes I've got to harden my heart and say no so that I can do something for me.

 

Hmm, I'd say I self sabotage a lot in terms of guilt. I work two minimum wage jobs + go to college full time as commuter, so I'm not very rich in money. However, I've been good at making myself a safety net of savings (just a few hundred dollars) to afford gas and essentials, so I can spend $30 here and there on doll things now. But even when I do that, I feel like I have to keep justifying every single purchase to myself to the point that I feel guilty by the time the item arrives. I keep thinking that if I just save all that money, I'll be safer. Yet when I did that, I felt so empty from not having anything to do in my life other than go to school or work. Even purchasing one doll body will take a good portion out of my savings, so I have to think over it for a very long time. I'm lucky that my preferred dolls are both smaller and cheaper, and they give me a sense of comfort and safety in this scary adult world I've entered.

 

Part of me wishes I had more space...I could spread out a lot more if I didn't have cats (mostly cuz I'm afraid they'll knock them off shelves and such) but I love them too much to just...not have them. My bedroom isn't very big so most of the dolls I have are all sharing little cubbies and dresser space. I envy those people who can make full diorama's for all of their dolls and still have extra space. I don't think it qualifies as "Self sabotaging" but sometimes I wonder what my space would be like if I wasn't in other fandoms that I loved

 

Lack of funds is definitely an impediment. I would love nothing more than to have the same financial freedom some others possess, where they can confidently have more than one doll on layaway at a time. I'm currently over here, agonising over whether I could put a doll on layaway with still one more payment left on a body I'm paying off or just purchase the head for now and place that body on layaway at a later date. Thing is, this doll was not part of my formerly rock-solid plan until this morning on a whim!

Space is another hindrance. I still live with my parents; my room being the second smallest of the four and full of clutter. But, even without the clutter, there'd not be enough space for all the dolls I have planned [they are all SD-sized, which take up a lot of space when grouped together]. As it stands, I'm currently looking to change jobs, so I can eventually rent my own two-bedroom place with one being a dedicated craft/hobby room. Or a one-bedroom place with a dining room I can convert, instead, as I don't plan on inviting dinner guests over. Either the dolls will reside in the craft/hobby room, or they will sit in the bedroom with books/DVDs going in the living room.

I am my own worst enemy in this hobby; I have other interests that take my money from dolly funds, and I haven't been able to - for the longest time - motivate myself to change my situation. Maybe, if I look carefully and take measurements, I could figure a way of creating more display space in my current room. But I'd rather wait until I move out; that way, there's no remarks about spending when numerous parcels turn up at the door.

 

I tend to work way too much, trying to earn money to live in, and for this hobby. That leaves me with little down time to enjoy the hobby. I work 12-hour swing shifts in a factory, and when I’m not there, I’m cleaning houses and running errands for a disabled lady. I also have other hobbies I try to squeeze in as well. Most of the time I feel like I am stretched too thin, and then I just stop enjoying my hobbies.

 

I’m self sabotaging, I liked it better when I was on a budget and was limited so I was more creative, these days their are so many dolls that I fall for I’m over loaded with them and can’t figure out wether to make things, sell some dolls (I know I’ll regret later) or get out of the hobby altogether because I’m overwhelmed most the time. If I’d of been more controlled with my spending I believe I’d be happier. Too late for that.

 

I never borrow money, never have never will, I’ve worked my fingers to the bone and sacrificed my life for others. I always felt If I can you can, so I never lend money and I never borrow money.

On that note, if I know someone is truly struggling through not fault of their own, I’ll kindly help them as a gift of love. I won’t expect repayment because I do love helping people that truly need it.