Self Sabotage

You sound really similar to me. I always regret my spontaneous spending. I just got a new DZ body and I’m already considering selling it, because all I see when I look at it are dollar signs

 

I sabotage myself over and over by wanting and trying to buy EVERYTHING that catches my eye Some days I am good at not giving in, and others not so much. I had a healthy savings and now it is almost all gone. We moved and that did take a big chunk of it, but I also bought two VERY expensive dolls that I just wasn't in love with once I got them and took a big loss selling them, and then went nuts on a few play doll lines. I tried to justify those telling myself they are so much cheaper that for the price of one of my favorite bjd's I could buy almost 20 of the play line dolls.
The issue is that, while I like the playline dolls, I really don't want them now that I have them. I dontated about 50 of them, but still have around 80 left :/ I also tend to be very all or nothing, which is my own mental block.
I have a doll preference and have told myself to just stick to those, but then I see a doll and think wow I love that doll I have the money I should buy it, then I get it and I am like why did I buy this. The problem is that I won't know how I will feel until I get them. The artist I love most now I wouldn't have known had I not taken the plunge. I am glad I did and when I look at all my dolls I wish I just had those dolls and not all the rest. The thought of trying to sell the rest also gives me anxiety and I have some coming in that I ordered a while back that I also regret and then feel bad when I get them and turn right around and sell them.
There is a thread asking how/why people can just turn right around and sell a doll and for me it comes down to impulsiveness and wanting to "try" a new doll to see how I will like it. Unfortnately it has been an expensive endeavor and I wish I could just stop.
I have been this way for YEARS, it is for sure an addiction.
It took a long time for me to come to terms with this and accept it, because for me this isn't going to change and I know that. The only way it will is complete abstinence and that isn't going to happen. It doesn't help that I am currently out of work. Once I am working again I will probably be able to control it becuase I won't have hours every day to sit here and look at things that entice me. I do know that finding something else to occupy my thoughts and time helps.
I feel like I am all over with this reply and I typed a novel so I will quit here.

 

I've learned over the years that I am obsessive by nature, and can sometimes be totally obsessed with something and be thinking about it constantly, only to lose interest a week later. Two dolls I bought second hand that I hadn't had much previous interest in, got resold a few months later. I try to make myself wait two weeks to order a newly released doll. I don't always manage to make myself wait that long.

I sometimes feel guilty about how much I've spent on my dolls, though I'm not in debt, and don't leave bills unpaid. I'm going to sell the ones I'm not in love with, and am much more particular about those I bring home to help minimize that.

 

OMG yes!! I love these dolls so much and I want so bad to just be all about this hobby and really be creative and have a bunch of friends etc but it causes me a LOT of stress. Stupid stress I might add, and by that I mean I stress over stupid stuff. So I can't afford a bunch of clothes and as much as I want to make a diorama I just don't have the space. I really want to sew clothes for my dolls but I need to buy a sewing machine and learn to use it and I don't even have good table space it's frustrating! I'm neurodivergent and so I hyperfixate and when I'm hyperfixating on the dolls I'm super active in the community and I take pics and buy things and get all excited to make things! But then I just drop off and I don't touch my dolls or post on anything for ages. On top of that, I struggle with pretty bad executive dysfunction so when I do have the money to buy supplies I don't tend to have the motivation.

Ok now to the admittedly stupid part. I feel like no matter what I do my dolls will always be sub-par like I look through here and on Instagram and see all these beautiful, insanely unique, and outstandingly creatively styled dolls with pages upon pages of wild backstory within these intricate amazing worlds. And as much as I love to see these awesome dolls and read their stories I can't help but end up comparing my own characters and dolls and they just fall so flat in comparison. I also struggle to not accidentally take ideas from others because I get inspired the easiest from visuals so I'll see a doll and the creative section of my mind will just rev up and start coming up with stuff and I have to be careful with that. Also, I worry that my dolls are too alike and boring because I really love the goth aesthetic and 90% of my characters could share the same wardrobe lol.

Ok, I kinda went overboard on this prompt so I want to take a step back and end this post on a positive note. I LOVE these dolls and this hobby, If I didn't I would have quit a long time ago. I love everyone's dolls and just because I have the bad habit of comparing myself doesn't mean I don't love to see all your amazing dolls, or read your amazing stories. These dolls are awesome, the people are awesome, and the level of creativity and artistry in this hobby is awesome!

 

oh god yes.i have clinical depression, BPD and anxiety and those 3 alone have been enough to make me question my collecting to the extreme a hand full of times. i collect other things like over 470 anime figure,over 400 manga, a large amount of videogames plus cosplay and lolita and i feel becuse of it i never have times for my dolls like its so easy to put time aside to sew something for them or chage an outfit but its just so hard cus my energy levels,i have a hand full of rare dolls and some regular ones that still need face ups and shelling out but i just put it on the back burner and end up never touching them either cus energy,time but i feel half the time i blame it on money and thats not the case. ive thought about selling them but i cant bring myself to pull the trigger but i just feel so bleh leaving them just sitting on the shelf catching dust

i have plans to send a doll out soon for a face up and i plan on getting a custom display for the im hoping doing this will push me to not procrastinate

 

The pandemic has made it difficult for those of us who have depression, anxiety disorders, etc. Isolation really affected me, and to deal with it, I started buying more dolls. I went overboard, and it got to the point of doll overload. Now I am trying to sell some of the extra dolls, clothes, etc which I accumulated during lockdown. I'm still having a hard time because even though the lockdown has been lifted in my area, I realized I have developed a fear of leaving my house. I now have panic attacks if I try to go out and do the normal things I've always done. I have to go to the post office to ship items I've sold, and it is scary because I fear having a panic attack while I'm there.

My dolls are part of my "safe place" and are comforting, but also the extra spending on dolls during the past 2 years has added to my anxiety. It's a vicious circle.

 

I would like to have a nicer setup for my dolls. My dream is to have a giant dollhouse to decorate and display them, but I also like the idea of a display case with doors to keep dust and cats away from them. However, time, money, and space are impacting my dreams from becoming reality.

The dolls I don’t have in storage are sitting/standing together on top of my short bookshelf. Every now and then I take them down to change their clothes and their pose. That’s all I can do at the moment. Not ideal but serves me just fine for now.

 

I had some medical issues this year that took a lot of my focus away from my dolls. Every Saturday morning, I’d think, “Oh, maybe today I’ll finally do a photo shoot!” But then everything in my body would start hurting too much by noon. Headaches, nausea, chest pains, etc. It wasn’t fun, but I’m finally getting treatment after having lots of tests done and am starting to feel better! I was even feeling good enough to do a little photo shoot before Halloween, which was an accomplishment, lol!

 

Space. Not enough space and not enough money to get more space, and I’m in the precarious situation of living overseas not knowing when/if I’ll go back, so I don’t feel comfortable taking the plunge on real estate.

 

Hmm. I've known the jealousy of not being able to buy all the htings. Seeing people with 50+ dolls after a decade in the hobby, and here i was with 9. (more now, but not by alot) It took a while before i picked up a doll due to rl tragedies. (looong story over the last 5 years) I'm used to not being able to buy a ton of dolls, but they just give me such a comfort that the ones i have makes me happy to look at.

 

If I only knew how much time I had when I was younger! Seriously, it's the one thing you can't buy or replace. I'm pretty good about being active with my time, but gosh - between work, social obligations, my other hobbies, and that sleep thing you have to do :P I feel like I never have as much time as I'd like with my dolls. Even right now, I'm trying to help my team wrap up work so we can make this deadline so I can just log off and go back to making eyes!

 

I feel like I've been dealing with this mindset long before I started collecting dolls. As a comic artist, I'd in the past frequently script things that were far beyond my artistic skill while thinking "well, when I get to the point when I'm drawing this part I'll be much better than I am now." And it'd never be the case. I'd always be far behind the level I'd expected myself to be at and be struggling trying to portray the image I'd wanted to portray.

I guess that experience has carried over into my doll collecting. To where I'm consciously thinking "I've never made a wig before and with three cats I can't exactly afford to keep loose fibers around the house so I'll commission one" or "I've done x years of painting so I'm fairly confident I can apply this knowledge toward painting a faceup", etc. And me having clinical depression really affects pretty much everything, as at every given moment I may have absolutely no motivation to even consider trying to accomplish something. So it's a struggle.

At the same time though, you'll never know if you've got a knack for it or not unless you try it, right? Gotta at least try before you put your efforts down

 

I think this counts- I've been in a bit of a mental holding pattern lately and can't seem to motivate myself to do anything with my dolls, so my money has been frittering everywhere but towards them. Then, however, I feel guilty that I still have 2 girls without faceups and one boy who needs his style redone, which is demotivating, and the cycle continues. I'm hoping to break it soon though!

 

Not anything legitimate, I’ve just been so lazy and unmotivated with my dolls in recent years. Like I have several that are in pieces in boxes for years now because I haven’t bothered to finish modding or painting or whatever I started doing to them and that’s not even mentioning the nudist colony I have going on >.>

 

Oh yes, definitely, absolutely!
This thread is where I will make my confession of what I've been guilty of for all these years in the hobby


Besides not being able to spend as much money as I wanted back in the day, as this is a more external than internal factor, my biggest struggle was putting other limitations upon myself.
Let me explain.

One of the limitations was not allowing myself to buy fantasy resin colors, or more realistic dolls, or doll sizes other than Volks SD, because I wanted everything in my collection to go well together. It sounds good on paper, but because of that I missed at least a few rare dolls that haunt me to this day. It also caused me to get bored with my dolls because of lack of variety, and then selling one after another. Only now I see that buying dolls should be decided by how much the individual doll resonates with me, and not by how "fitting" it looks like with other dolls.

Another limitation would be my (lack of) presence in doll-related social media. Besides being quite shy, I'm also a perfectionist, so limiting my presence was a way to avoid making mistakes, or posting "not good enough" photos. Now I realize that participating and talking to other collectors is what makes this hobby great, and even quickly snapped photos add something of value to the hobby. This is where the fun part is. It's about enjoying our dolls, not about having "perfect" dolls!

There is also being scared of failing at doing faceups, or wig making, or sewing... Not doing things out of fear of failing is another thing I'm trying to stop doing. Failing and learning is a process, and it can lead to a lot of frustration, but also to great satisfaction.


Now that I realize where my limitations were, I'm trying to get better about it and just enjoy myself here, and in the hobby in general

 

For me, it's money, space, religion, family and my anxiety.

I'm constraint by family members who thinks that BJDs are creepy and goes against our religious beliefs. Its super annoying how they'll always tease and mock me whenever I bring them out to play. But I give zero shit bout what they say, coz I know I'll be happier not giving a damn and do what I love.

My anxiety probably kept me from bringing my crew out in public to take photoshoots. Not alot of ppl can appreciate BJDs like we do

 

I might be self sabotaging right now, but I ordered a doll last night, Implhouse Isia, and now I'm not even sure if I LIKE the doll. I think I have a very small window to cancel the order but I keep going back and forth on it. BEFORE I ordered her I thought she was adorable and just the size I wanted (1/8) but after I hit the button to confirm everything my brain started shrieking HER EYES ARE MASSIVE.

I know I did like her, so this might be buyer's remorse in that I spent money, or maybe I didn't like her that much in the first place. Maybe I should give her a chance. She could be super cute again in person. Orrr....


....I might be boredom shopping.