"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate

I can't believe people would actually do that.

The girl I'm dating currently has said my dolls are 'creepy', but while smiling. She's never told me to sell them or even get them away from her. I can't imagine being with someone who didn't accept me because of my dolls. They would be denied instantly.

 

I told my SO that I'm a package deal. I come with my weird BJD hobby (and other dolls, Pullips etc). Oddly it's not the BJDs that bother him so much as the reptiles I currently have as pets. I'm not too worried about him getting irritated with the BJD thing, I'm more concerned about the reptiles when it comes down to the big 'moving in' thing.

I have noticed since being more active with the commuity that there's seems to be an aspect of financial issues that can sometimes happen. I think that could definitely break a relationship if the spending is done irresponsibly. A wig here and there, a set of eyes, clothes....it adds up over time and when you're neglecting doing responsible things with your money, like keeping a saving's account or paying your bills on time and going paycheck to paycheck wondering what you can buy with your next payment? That gets a little crazy and I can see that driving a SO nuts. That can pretty much happen with any hobby though.

All relationships should be about open communication and compromise (I've compromised to keep my reptiles and dolls in a seperate room away from him ;p). Someone demanding you do something, making you do something like that without good reason is a big warning flag.

 

If my fiance ever said that to me, I'd laugh in his face. He wouldn't dare say such things to me, he knows how much I love my dolls and toys. On the flip side, I know how much he loves hid video games and computers, so I'd never say such to him. We accept and embrace each others hobbies. And even if we don't embrace them, we still accept them lol.

 

I noticed that those of us on the thread (for the most part) who have doll-supportive significant others, the S.O.'s all play video/computer games. I wonder if it really just comes down to being able to relate to an expensive hobby or not.

 

QFT

Being a video game player myself, I know that they are addictive and you can become obsessed with them. Those who have been bitten with a similar bug recognize the same in other people!

 

I'm so sorry that you had to hear something so rude from someone you trusted and cared for, well, atleast you've moved on to greener pastures now, but that person should have accepted you for who you are...

Aside from that, like some have posted my boyfriend isn't against the idea at all! he thinks they are adorable and wants to collect his own, he somewhat introduced me to them, its a bit hard to explain we both found about them together? ^^' and we share many of the same hobbies, hes like my other half so he supports me, and I support him, plus he spends a shizload of money on speakers and such sense hes a audiophile -.-;

But for the most part, he wants his own too...he wants to go to meet ups with me and even build a nice ginormous realistic doll house for them, and design rooms and stuff we love being creative, so were really looking forward to it!

the only thing he has a problem with is if i be careless and get caught up in spending my money on doll stuff with no control x.x which i've done a few times, and not saving much in the end from it, but i have learned the lesson and am going to be much more careful.

plus I have many other hobbies that I need to save for too ._.'

 

If a potential partner ever asked my to sell my dolls, I would at least give them a chance to put forward a reason why. Their chances of remaining a potential partner would depend greatly on their answer though. In a nutshell, if their reason seems to be for the good of myself (however that may be), I'll at least accept that they don't mean bad. Hell, if it's a good enough reason, I might even go along with it.

 

Agreed. If it isn't meant as some "your dolls are foolish" comment, but perhaps "We could raise some funds toward a down payment on our house if you sell some dolls and I sell my.. guitars?" then at least the heart's in the right place. Otherwise, perhaps you should be less concerned with their dislike for your dolls and more concern for your poor choice in a partner. :P

 

My boyfriend buys old cars and fixes them for a hobby. He also fixes computers and plays video games. (Yes, he's super geek.) Thus, $500 purchases are normal to him. He also helps with my cosplay habit and my crazed obsession with Japanese Maid figures and costumes. When I told him about BJD and costume making for dolls, he laughed and said "That is so you."

Not a problem in my relationship.

 

Wow that would be pretty terrible...I don't think I could be with someone who would be that pushy about anything though. If they are gonna be like that with your dolls, I'm sure that sort of attitude would carry over into other areas...so it would be a red flag to me. And like some others have said, most people have their own hobbies and they tend to have expenses.
I have a friend who's best friend doesn't like his dolls or his like for anime. She see's it as stupid and childish and use to give him crap for it at every chance she got until he finally told her to live with it, he's not going to change.

 

This

is precisely what I was thinking, but worded much better.

 

Nope. My ex wasn't too interested, but he didn't dare suggest that I drop the hobby. I made it very clear that if someone that said they cared for me wanted me to completely abandon this, with no compromises offered, it would be over. No questions asked.

I've spent way too much time and money (which is set aside in a separate bank account JUST for my dolls) to just throw it all away because a potential mate doesn't like it. The key word is "potential," and trying to make me change for whatever reason is a dealbreaker -- there are plenty of fish in the sea that will appreciate or at least accept me and my resin buddies.

 

Much to my significant other's chagrin, she decided to keep me forever LONG before I got into BJD. Poor thing, she never had a chance.

But honestly if I were available and looking, I would not even consider someone who was so selfish as to ask that of me. Less because I love my dolls more than people (because I don't) and more because of the pompous, irreconcileably self-interested nature of any person who could demand such a thing of someone else. That isn't love, thats an attempt at control... and I have no desire to be controlled by anyone, let alone within a relationship.

Though, if I ever find myself in a situation where my loved one and I, and maybe our future kids, are suffering, and my 600$ dolls could feed us... well. I would much prefer to sell them than lose my family. But it would have to be up to me.

 

Me and my partner can't bring ourselves to say things like that to each other (but we ask each other if we should get X item) considering we both have a collection of things that are fairly expensive that are upwards to $130+. For him it's been basketball shoes (a few pairs he rarely wears and two of which he has plastic sealed) and each box cost nearly as much as a Tiny. Although, he has for awhile stopped buying shoes, his collection vs my collection (I only have 1 doll. Another is on its way) is still greater in overall value than mine. Haha.

 

This isn't as bad as someone actually making me choose them or the dolls. But, it still gave me a little pang of sadness. I have a really freakin weird life and I happen to be in love with a lesbian couple (yeaahh...). Today I was hanging out with one of them and we were talking about our very similar mental issues and how unfortunately I'm kind of stuck at my mom's house for the time being. We both agreed that I would do so much better if I could just get a helping push to get me away from the crappy place I'm at right now, but her suggestion was "Do everything you can to save up enough money to start you off, SELL THOSE STUPID DOLLS!!!"

I was kind of sad that someone I think so insanely high of doesn't understand the role the dolls play in my life, and how important they are to me.

 

Yeah haha, I would say the dolls make my mood and anxiety noticeably better. So getting rid of them might help one problem (temporarily... it's not like selling the dolls would generate infinite cash for the rest of my life) but create a different one.

I think BJDs are a unique phenomena, and most people would never understand the logic of most "doll people" until they've been thoroughly exposed to the whole thing.

 

"find yourself a new home" says I...

 

I feel like asking that would be roughly equivalent to saying "You should sell your kid/brother/sister/family pet"
It's sort of rude, you know?

 

Anyone that just isn't that into being with you.... AKA all the a$$clowns I dated before I met my husband. ^^ I am really glad you found someone who sincerely digs you and the things you love doing. I think everyone deserves that level of appreciation in a relationship.