"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate

My SO did suggest that I sell a doll I never get any use out of it, but I didn't find it offensive, because he has a horrible memory and I had already told him I WAS planning on selling it...

In general he does think my dolls are a waste of money, but he's basically gotten used to the fact that I will do what I want when it has nothing to do with him, and ignore his input.

 

My husband would never tell me to sell my dolls in fact he's the one that buys them for me. I decided to sell a rare vintage doll to remodel our bathroom and he tried and tried to talk me out of it. Afraid I would regret it later. He also puts up with all my dogs and cats even though he is allergic. I keep the animals out of our bedroom so he can sleep better but there are about 200 dolls in there! Not all BJD's though..lol. If your potential person loves you they would never try to take away something you love.... JMO!

 

I'd be pissed! They're MY dolls (my babies) and no one has the right to tell me that I should sell them!

 

That would be a situation where I would choose my hobby over someone who couldn't respect me and what I like to do. I see that sort of thing as someone having respect for me, or not having respect for me. :3

 

I'd just laugh and say no, then change the subject just like that. Most people don't realize why bjds are so expensive, and they don't see why we like them. It's just a matter of personal taste and experience. My bf sometimes says weird crap about my dolls, and I just lol and tell him how lame his football collection is xDDD No big deal, and certainly not something worth starting a fight over.

 

My boyfriend and I were dating before I got into the hobby, so it was hard for him tounderstand when I first got into it, ihe didn't liekt he money and stuff I was putting into it, but now he's really supoprtive and even goes to meets with me.

He even acts really cute and proud whenever I show him a faceup or outfit I made. He draw the line at dolls sitting on him haha.

 

Whats really funny is that my ex bf was the one to introduce ME to BJD's :P I still occasionally want to get in contact with him to see if he'll sell his Luts Lishe Caitlin to me, since all she did until I came along was live in her box at the top of his wardrobe behind more boxes. But somehow I don't think it would go down very well... Though theres nothing wrong with asking I suppose, he might even surprise me since I'll actually use and love her if he did!!

 

My BF is very supportive though we're very limited on funding so he asks me to watch what I become interested in. He's bought me Pullips in the past as well as other toys and figures that I like. He even pops in sometimes with surprise Littlest Pet Shop toys I need.

He collects Transformers and lego, and I also enjoy supporting his hobbies as well.

 

My fiancé is the fantastic type who says "Anything that is important to you is important to me", so when I told him I was getting my first BJD, he was pretty supportive, even if he doesn't quite understand it. He even browsed for some clothes and wigs with me

While he do think they're a bit pricy, he also understands that it's a hobby like any other, and that in many ways, it's like having a character in roleplay in MMOWRPGs, a passion we share


I agree with the many people who say that it's not worth being with someone who doesn't respect you, however, I love my fiance to death, and if he was REALLY against if for a reason I could understand, I'd never chose a doll over him. But maybe that's just because I know he would never forbid me to do anything.

 

I've never had a (potential) boyfriend say that to me. If anyone did, i'd tell them to shove off - I don't tell them to sell their cars. It files under personal freedom and integrity (I sound like someone on a soap box! XD), and I can do with my time and money (and shelf space) whatever I damn well please. :3
I think my boyfriend and I have mused over me selling my doll collection and what I could use these money for instead. But he fully understands my interest in them, as he collects vintage cars. XD So i'm the one with the cheap hobby of us. XD

However, I have had one bad experience regarding dating and dolls. I'm not sure if it's entirely on topic for this thread, but here goes anyway. A couple of years ago I tried really hard hooking up with my tattoo artist, who's a beau, and creative, and all sorts of interesting things. I had even brought a doll along for him to look at, and he was curious about the doll, especially in the painting aspect. However, getting my greasy palms on him completely failed.
A little while later I talked to a colleague of mine, and in short, he expressed that he saw a direct link between me not getting to date my tattoo artist and showing him my doll, basically because the dolls were freaky and childish. Then he told an anecdote about commenting to a date once how he wished they wouldn't synchronize the Spongepop Squarepants cartoon, as the originals are better than the Danish translations. Then she'd given him an odd look and had denied to see him anymore.
I was sad that he was so offensive about the tattoo-doll situation, also as I didn't think that was the case at all. In reality, I think my colleague was just upset that he couldn't have the nerdy, quirky interests that he wanted, and angry that I had something going. Like, he was feeling normalized and had a hard time coping with someone still doing what they liked.

 

Well I have just recently gotten into the hobby and they do creep out my husband, but we came to a compromise. I can't keep them in our bedroom and because I have a whole craft room to myself he helped me set up a place for them there. This way they can be out in a place I am frequently. I can understand people not having the same enjoyments are even people being a little creeped out by them. But I can't see someone saying You should get rid of them. Relationships are all about compromise.

 

:< My boyfriend said that to me once. I told him to sell his ps3, he never mentioned it again. LOL

My mom has said to me a couple of times as well, but she means it in a way like making commissions and stuff, not so much in a "Oh grow-up" way.

 

My husband has always been very supportive and helpful with this hobby (and several other, less expensive ones ). He even lent me money for one very limited doll so I could buy it as soon as I came across it second hand.

I find the consept of someone trying to restrict other persons hobbies very rude and egoistic (unless of course we are talking about a husband who spends 6 days a week fishing and the seventh day in his work shop making new flies from feathers and stuff - the term fishing widow is most apt, and under such circumstances I find it reasonable that the wife asks the husband to cut the hours dedicated to fish; or, if we're talking about a similar situation that the wife is never seen at home because of her overtly enthusiastic dedication for a single hobby). But even in the case of a fishing/golf/you-name-it widow, it shouldn't be about "the fish or me", it's about cutting the hours a little.

The only situation where I can understand "it's either that or me" setting, is when there is a medical issue. If the spouse is very allergic to cats (and perhaps he hasn't even been avare of it until he came in contact with his future wife's cats and got into a hospital due to the nasty and near lethal allergic reaction), but wife has several dear ones, the situation is unfortunately "the cats or me". This situation can also rise with the dolls - the partner can be so allergic to resin that he can't really be around the dolls, or he could have such a severe case of doll fobia, that he can't cope the dolls. It is then understandable, that he might like to plea his wife-to-be to do something about this. At those times compromises have to be made, and I know some couples who have managed to arrange it so that under no circumstances the husband has to go too near the dolls.

 

I have many hobbies that are the same or similar to my mate's. When I saw BJDs in person, for the first time, my mate was with me. We were both amazed at their realistic look and detail. We ended up spending a lot of time looking at them that day.

However, when I finally bought one my mate's enthusiasm completely vanished. "Why would you buy one yourself and spend that much when you can look at them for free?" was what was said and I ended up feeling really guilty, hurt, and unhappy when my doll arrived in the mail (instead of being excited...)

My best friend and own mother are in love with my dollies though and sometimes you gotta do what makes you happy. In the end I think this experience hurt me so much that I became more in love with the fact that my dolls can never hurt me or turn against me...as antisocial as that sounds...

 

I think my husband has a hobby that can top video games. He does saltwater aquariums. Trust me when I say that even a small aquarium is much more than a doll, and whenever my hubby ribs me about my dolls I can just say "Well, at least they can't die." Saltwater fish aren't cheap, after all. He still doesn't 'get' it, but I don't 'get' his aquariums, and neither one of us would ever dream of trying to get the other to give them up. We both know that you don't have to actively like something to understand that someone else likes it, and to respect that they enjoy it.

I've had people I was dating try to get me to give up one hobby or another. The first time it happened I thought "Oh, well... Maybe it's not very normal. Maybe it IS childish." I pushed myself away from the hobby, and then he started talking about me not going X place with my friends because it's stupid, or there's ants (he was allergic) and he couldn't go, and then started talking about how I shouldn't hang out with this friend or that friend because he didn't think they were 'really' my friends-typical isolationist behavior. Yeah, that relationship ended pretty quickly. After that first one, I could see that any time that someone who says they care for you would put down your hobbies outright or try to get you to give them up because THEY want you to that it's a sign that you should sever and get them out of your life, not your hobby.

 

Anyone who tells their SO that, isn't worth shooting in my book. I have put up with many hobbies with my exes, and not one of them told me to get rid of my BJDs. IMHO, you shouldn't sacrifice what makes you happy for someone that doesn't make you as happy. There's plenty of fish in the fishbowl and more then plenty guys/girls in the world. The cat never chases only one mouse, their very flexible.

 

My other half has two dolls of her own.

I've been in love with her, my soulmate, for years, and eventually I will move to the USA to be with her, and even though she teases me about my obsession, she wouldn't tell me to sell the dolls if I didn't want to at all. I've had a "friend" try to tell me the dolls are a bad thing, successfully removing her as a friend forever.

My dolls are a hobby, a passtime, and hopefully a way for me to make a little money towards the next doll. They are my characters (or my versions of canon characters) given three dimensional form, an extension of my soul - giving up this hobby right now would mean selling a part of my soul for many of these characters and so it would not happen right now. When I eventually do move, who knows, but for now they are my salvation and my sanity.

I've been with people in the past who tried to mould me ("girls shouldn't tell jokes or make funny voices" "Girls shouldn't like cars" "You're an engineer? Why, you're just a girl.."- lulz) or change me, and my current partner is understanding and just as... unusual as me. I am me, and people can either take me or leave me - I want people to love or care for me, whether that includes almost a dozen dolls and their appearances in my every day life or the fact I know which end of a hammer is up or not. Love isn't about changing someone.

 

I have had this conversastion, and the partner in question has dolls of his own! My collection is very large however and he looks at it as a waste of a LOT of money. I look at it as an investment in a hobby that I really enjoy. Recently (Ok more like 6 months ago) we had an arguement about it, he said I was spending too much money on dolls, because he roughly worked out what my dolls were worth by valueing each SD at 500 and each MSD at 250, and choked on the price. He claimes we could have put the money to better use and that he does not spend as much on HIS pleasure.

I listed the dolls I had BOUGHT as opposed to ones I had traded for, u0psold to collect, or were gifts from friends and family. I have BOUGHT one doll in the last year, one in the year before, and a couple each year before that. The REST are ones I have traded and swapped for, or done commissions in MY time to earn t he funds for. now days my hobby is almost totally self supporting. His hobbies however are net exporters of funds. On top of that he drinks, goes to movies, nightclubs, and enjoys buying coffee. I will not even buy a bottle of water when out to conserve money, not that I actually need to, we live well, that is just how I am. i do NOT toss it around so I think a little indulgence in dolls is worth it.

After pointing it all out to him he was totally ashamed of himself for banging on about my hobby. In the end he realised that I had purchased something that STILL brings me joy, much better than all those movie tickets and overpriced vodkas and coffes he spends his share on

 

Pwah! I would never let someone else decide what I should do with my dolls or any other stuff -__- They're mine, I bought them with my money, so I will not let anyone take away my happiness. I always make sure that I have enough money left for everything else that I would need, so my potential mate can beat it if he or she doesn't like it.