"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate

My husband is wonderfully supportive of my varied and expensive hobbies. The only thing he asks is "no ponies in the guest areas" (living room, dining room, etc.). I get a room all to myself for my costuming, My Little Ponies, BJDs and other whatnots. He actually got me started in dolls by buying my Nono and letting me pay him back as I could. I never thought I'd have even one and now I'm up to 10 and one floating head. It's all his fault, lol.

My first fiance was another story. He absolutely hated everything that I liked. I was getting interested in dolls when I was still with him (the 316 at the end of my username was our anniversary...yup, really regretting that now) but I was hesitant to buy one in part because of his negativity. He thought they were too expensive for something "useless". I pointed out all the guitars he had but apparently it's fine to drop a fat wad of cash on them because they are functional. It was like trying to reason with a fence post. And yes, it was definitely a control issue with him. I was supposed to just sit at home and wait for him to come over or call. I couldn't even go visit my dad without him along to keep an eye on me. I wasted 7 years on that guy but at least I finally saw the light and got the heck away from him. Now that I'm older and more confident I'd never put up with that kind of treatment.

 

My boyfriend was actually the first to support something like this. I'm a pretty quirky girl so seeing I was interested in something like this he was actually really interested, and even now he still asks me questions.
I'd be really crushed if I were to find someone that would only have a relationship with me if I sold my dolls they'd no longer be a potential mate for me.

 

@writerm, I love the lyrics, thanks for sharing! *adds song to ipod*

I'm single but I would care less what my future 'significant other' or any person for that matter has to say about what I like. If someone tells me something like that, he/she will lost my respect for them. Live & let live.

 

I never have but I wouldn't be with someone very long if they came in and started trying to dictate my likes. My dolls are a part of me, to rid me of them would be asking me to erase part of myself and that I could do for no one. We come as a package, love me -love my dolls, or walk away. but seriously I don't expect the person I'm dating to pay any attention to them, it's my hobby.

 

"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate... and stops being the potential mate.

 

It should always be "Live and let live" unless in case of financial emergency. That is the ideal. And unless I begin talking to Nena more than him, we should have no problems.

 

I wouldn't let someone dictate what my hobbies are or how much I spend on them. It would be different if I were married and it interfered with our budget, but otherwise, it's no-one else's business.

 

Um, I'm so reserved as it is when divulging the aspects of my BJD-endeavors, that likely I'd, ehm, neglect to mention it to my partner until it became A: imperative, B: they themselves were involved in the hobby, or C: it was unavoidable. Were they to even imply I sell my BJDs simply because they were made uncomfortable by it, I'd start out by politely declining. I mean, we all establish personal boundaries, and we don't want them breached. No one should ever feel obligated to dispose of their possessions simply because their partner finds them repellent or objectionable. Besides, how is someone telling you to throw out something that belongs to you (i.e. your BJDs--keepin' it on topic) any different than them telling you to, say, change the way you dress and maintain decorum, or the way you conduct yourself?
If my partner refused to aquiesce to my terms (letting me keep my dang things) and continued to insist that I chuck my possessions, well, I'd probably terminate the relationship. To me, a healthy relationship is predicated upon respect from all parties involved, and if my partner wasn't willing to make accomodations for me (despite the fact that I don't play with my BJDs--or even take them out--around non-BJD people), then who knows what else they'd be rigid and infexible on?

 

I love myself more than any potential mate. And I am not a child who needs a parent to tell her what to do. You don't like smth in me - my hobby for example, - find someone else u like everything about.

 

I only fully got serious about this hobby a few months ago. I've always wanted one but the price of them was allways in the way. My boyfriend is a car modding junkie and loooves to spend money on his car. At the time i didnt see the point and thought he wasted money on things he already had but wanted to upgrade them. I didnt stop him of corse as it made him happy i just didnt understand. Needless to say i was happy for him. After spending $800 and $900 dollars on my first two dolls i now understand where hes coming from. He fully suports my hobby and i of his. From my experance i see it as if your 'other' tells you to sell of doesnt see the point of your hobby then it might be possible that they havnt experanced a hobby like yours. I think thats how it worked with me. I didnt understand my boyfriends hobby untill i spend big money on my own.
But i would NEVER tell him to stop doing what he loved nor would he tell me to stop. He was the one that actaully said "just buy the dam doll, it makes you happy" ^^

 

I just recently got dolls of my own therefore this subject hasn't been brought up - but my boy has been fully supportive, he never complained that it was too much (he did at first until I explained to him what BJD is and why they're expensive). He's happy that the hobby makes me happy. He's even considering one or two of his own, based off of video game characters...

 

My potential mate thinks my boys are "a bit creepy" but he appreciates that they are works of art and he likes that I have so many hobbies so he tolerates them and even makes jokes about them (lol I call them my "harem" and he calls them the creepy doll army). I told him first thing when we started talking to each other online about dating that I have these dolls and that they were here first and aren't going anywhere lol, same time I informed him that I love animals and will always have them so he better get used to the idea. Luckily for me he loves animals too and he used to collect resin and PVC anime figurines so he agreed whole-heartedly to my terms and conditions and even understands my spending great heaps of money on them lol.

 

Humm, to begin with, if this person is against my hobby, he is no longer a potential mate for me. That is one quality that I seek in a relationship, he must be supportive towards what I do. The limit? Well, just ignore me and let me do what I want when he doesn't like it, because it makes me happy.

I'm quite lucky to get one like my current boyfriend now. He is not really supportive with bjd, actually, because it is expensive and he thinks the money will be more useful if it is allocated for other things, like saving, or buying a car, or upgrade my computer. But he agrees that bjd is a work of art, and he lets me continue my hobby *although I must say that he will not likely buy one for me, haha! but I'm quite blessed to be able to afford my crew on my own*

 

I have gone back through this thread, since it's been a while since my initial post... And yeah nothings changed in my opinion. I have several collecting hobbies, but BJD's don't harm anyone, and anyone who tries to tell me that my hobbies are invalid and should be given up, well, I just don't need you more than I need to be happy and secure. I'm not giving up my dolls, my teddy bear stuffies, my oriental styled knick-knacks, or my collection of musicals on DVDs for ANYONE. Any potential suitors are duly warned about the dolls. I bring them up because I don't want to invest my feelings and time into a person, really come to like them... And then they find out and everything goes into "HULK SMASH!" angry mode. I just don't. So I bring it up soon as I can, sometimes I show them photos, or the dolls themselves and we work it out. If not, well, as I always say...

There the door, darlin'.

 

When I first met my SO he saw my albums of dolls on my Facebook page, and was very curious about them, and added BJDs to his likes on Facebook. xD He likes to play with them when he comes over. So luckily I've never had to deal with that situation. But I think if any potential partner said that I had to stop a hobby if I wanted to be with them, I would break it off. If someone isn't willing to accept your likes and dislikes, it would seem that you'd be incompatible.

 

Eek. I'd probably refuse firmly the first time but if things got ugly, I'd react in one of two ways depending on how deeply involved we already are, that is: A) Fly off the handle and go Godzilla all over him or B) Go quiet and start rethinking the relationship. But yeah, no way unless they are somehow affecting my basic needs and no, somehow being misconstrued as a threat to your ego does not count.

 

Well my girlfriend is a doll collector so I don't have to worry about that, but unless there is an issue of money I don't think that kind of request or demand is fair. Everyone has likes and hobbies that their partner doesn't enjoy.

I have already told my girlfriend that if financial need arises I am selling my dolls first, and who would go first.

 

"Goodbye" says that mates former potential partner.

Seriously, though. I met this really sweet boy and I was worried the dolls would scare him off. After a while, I introduced him and told him about them and he's intrigued. He says he likes them a lot. He offered to take me to future doll meets
We're dating now.
It's important to know that your partner is at least accepting of your hobbies. He collects guitars and spends about as much money as I do on dolls. We both understand and encourage the hobbies as long as we spend our money smartly.

 

This has not happened to me. I discovered BJD after I met my boyfriend and well.. He's just glad I have a hobby I guess

However, had we met today and he'd want me to get rid of the dolls I'd come back with "I'll sell my dolls if you sell your computer and computer games". Same thing, and it's really ridiculous in my opinion.

 

I would straight out say "no."
What type of "potential partner" tell you to stop enjoying life?
It's my hobby and it's something I enjoy. Even if it's childish or not mainstream, my hobby/stuff I like is part of who I am. So, unless I'm spending his cash on them, he have no right to tell me what to do.