"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate

I've never had the problem with my boyfriend, as we were together many years before I had even heard about dolls. He is wonderfully supportive and loves my dolls almost as much as I do, and knows all their names and backstories. I always consult him about my ideas about them or he helps with naming. He actually named my mnf/unoa Minoshka.

Still though, if he asked me to sell them I would. Would I ever forgive him for it? Absolutely not. In fact him asking me to get rid of something of mine would be the beginning of the end of us, but he would never do that in a billion years, I think we would both be sad if I sold the dolls.
I don't think anyone should ask you to sell your anything, unless you are both scrambling to make money for something deeply important.

 

I was in a different doll hobby before I met my boyfriend, when we got together he knew about the hobby straight away and never once said anything negative besides being creepy but that don't offend me. Once I got into bjd's ..well back into bjd's. He was accepting of it. He let me buy one within a couple months(hes in charge of finances because we live together). And a few months from now he's letting me buy a second which is the most expensive doll ive ever bought. I don't lie to him about the prices either. I honestly told him. Its going to cost me $600 just for the doll. His opinion on them is... they are very expensive and he will never collect them but he understands what they mean to me. He's also pretty informed on bjd's so he know why they're priced the way they are they are more than just an ordinary doll.

If he did tell me to sell my dolls I'd tell him to sell his gun, sell his whole computer which is way more expensive than any dolls. That would shut him up and he'd probably never mention it again.

 

I haven't had an SO since before getting into the BJD hobby so this has never come up for me, but in my opinion that's an unreasonable demand unless there is a real need for money and the relationship is solid and serious enough for me to be contributing to whatever is causing the need for money to begin with. Otherwise, I think it's healthy for couples (dating or married) to have their own hobbies and things they do individually, so I would be pretty upset at the suggestion that I sell off my dolls (or kimono, kanzashi, or things related to any of my three main hobbies). If my SO wanted the dolls gone because he or she was afraid of them, I would feel bad but would try to work out some kind of compromise, like us getting a 2-bedroom apartment instead of a 1-bedroom apartment so I could put the dolls in a room he or she would never have to enter. But this hobby is a huge part of who I am and it brings me a lot of pleasure and joy, so barring financial hardship bad enough to require me selling the dolls off I just can't see myself getting rid of them for any reason. So I guess for me it's love me, at least tolerate my dolls and don't suggest I should sell them just because you don't like them/don't get them/whatever.

 

I'm pretty candid about my hobbies, and if someone couldn't handle them then I wouldn't date them. It's not that I value my hobbies over friends and family, or that I expect them to share all of my hobbies, but if they want to veto a hobby then they're not compatible with me. My hobbies are part of who I am as a person.

 

My ex-boyfriend was absolutely uninterested in most of my hobbies (and generally in things that I liked in general), but never would have asked me to sell my dolls.

My current boyfriend is much more understanding and although he's not really interested in dolls, he happily listens to me blather about them (and even retains most of the information) and I can't imagine him ever asking me to "sell my dolls!" In the same way that he spends money on computers and electronics (although I do that too... ), I spend money on dolls. It's all about what you like! I'd never ask him to sell anything expensive of his just because I didn't understand it.

Any guy that asked me to do that wouldn't be worth having in my life, I think. No one should ever ask you to get rid of something that's important to you--that just makes them a douche-hat!

 

The people who say words like this to you... RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!! Anybody who wants to control you or what you are interested in does not have your best interests at heart, just theirs. The words that pop into my head are selfish control-freak. Now on entirely the other hand, if you have serious issues and a house full of dolls whereby you cannot walk from room to room (right off an episode of Hoarders) then perhaps they have your best interests at heart.

 

My husband assumed that when we married I'd sell/leave all my dolls at my parents house. He came around eventually - I'm not saying he likes the hobby lol, but he accepts it and often will buy me an $$$ doll out of the blue (recently, a Unoa). Plus his Dad thinks its cute and buys me dolls hahahahahaha!!!! He doesn't argue with his Dad

 

My boyfriend is the most understanding person ever! My room is full of a few hundred ponies and a lot of Pullips. And now I started the BJD hobby seriously and keep on buying dolls. He loves this part about me and will buy me any doll I want next week. Just like that. Because he loves me. I always dreamed about such a boyfriend, finally I found him

If he had a problem with all of my hobbies and my childish looking room he would have to go. Never would I give up my hobby for anyone...

 

Anyone who'd tell you what you should do with things you enjoy, like hobbies, is just too dominating. I've always had freedom in my life with few limitations. I'm so lucky to have gotten my husband, but then again he was lucky to have me.

 

If this happened between me and my boyfriend, I would probably leave him. It's rude to tell someone to sell something that they love. I treat my doll as my child, and I will NOT let go until I'm ready to.

Luckily, my boyfriend and I respect each others' hobbies and interests. He keeps his video games and I keep my dolls. I'm glad he's actually very supportive and even accompanies me to doll meets.

 

Just like everything "odd" about me, my boyfriend just had a learning curve. He got over it. The first time he saw the dolls, he panicked. Then he calmed down. Now he asks questions, likes watching me mod them, and keeps telling me I should get a "manly" one.
But if he ever told me I should get rid of them, I'd get rid of him! He knows not to be a jerk about the hobbies I love.

 

Nope, my ex-boyfriend treated the doll as a good gift to please me, I can't image to live with someone who can't at least respect my hobby.

 

I've never had this problem, but I know what my reaction would be if I did. I cannot be in a relationship with someone who does not respect my art and my hobbies, whether it's BJD or costuming or whatever. I don't expect everyone to "get it," let alone like it, but I expect them to respect that it is something I enjoy doing because I would do the same for them. If they don't respect me enough to let me have my hobbies in peace, then they are not a person I want to spend my life with.
I am very lucky at present. My partner is very understanding (he has some odd hobbies himself) and even helps me paint from time to time!

 

I'm still young so it hasn't happened yet, but it would depend on the reason. I would try my best to work it out, but if need be, they might get sold... well, all except one. Whilst no physical object is worth a bad relationship between two people, if the potential mate was just saying that for no reason, or just because he didn't like them, I guess bye bye mate. Now if he had a phobia, or had a legitimate reason for saying so, things would be different. But I guess things really are situational and until it happens, you really can't judge your reaction. You might feel differently for each time.

 

My boyfriend actually bought me my first doll, which was about 400 dollars, so he's more than supportive. I guess it's just about finding someone who can love all of you, dolls and all.

 

My husband supported the purchase of my first doll, too. I think he wasn't sure what I was going to do with her at first, but he likes for me to have special things.

Now that she's here and I've been so infatuated with the hobby, I think we both can't imagine life without her.

Just this morning, a wig came in the mail for my doll, and everybody was excited! I was so excited, and so my husband came in to see me open it and put it on the doll, and even the cat got excited because he got ahold of the hair net. ^_^ Everybody loves the BJD hobby now!

 

For me personally, I couldn't be with someone who didn't tolerate my hobbies.
If they at least didn't mind I wouldn't care if they weren't interested in my doll.
But the fact is, I like collecting certain things - it makes me happy, and they should be happy that I'm happy.
It's tough finding that right guy. So many people end up in bad marriages or miserable.
That's why Ive given relationships time and Im in no hurry to settle down.

I don't think not wanting to sell your dolls is selfish at all, you shouldn't have to.

 

All I can say is, if you think I'm giving up my dolls just because you assumed I would, you've got another think coming!

Regarding what spouses "assume" will happen once the marriage has taken place, though, I've seen more women than men that expect major changes after the wedding. Some of the examples I have known have expected their husbands to give up:

Playing the drums
Hunting
Boat
Motorcycle
Dog
Other women (OK, this one is reasonable, but the rest are not!)

Why anyone would assume that their spouse would give up anything and everything that ever interested them just because they are now married is completely beyond me.

 

If you go into a relationship assuming that the other person is going to change something that they love just to please you, you are going into a doomed relationship. Why would anyone want someone they love give up something that makes them happy? Well, unless it's drugs or booze....