"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate

I feel like people who tell you to get rid of your dolls are selfish and they just aren't people I want in my life. I mean, if someone has such a problem with my hobby, then they have a problem with me. I can't just cut off what I want to do, how I want to spend my time & money. I'm not even sure that's mentally healthy, let alone the basis for a healthy relationship or friendship.

 

I think it depends on several factors. For instance, if someone says "Sell your dolls" as an order, then that's unacceptable. However, if you mention needing money badly and your mate politely suggests selling a doll, I don't see why that's offensive. This has happened to me with a friend, and it didn't bother me at all. Another example is that my mom said something like, "You worry so much about that doll that you can't enjoy him. How you thought about trying to sell him?" and that didn't bother me. She was referring to a doll I have that is quite rare, and I am paranoid about damaging him. He did eventually get damaged, and when that happened I did briefly wish I had sold him.

Also, if the person mentions it once, I think it's fine, but if they repeatedly suggest selling a doll, that's a bit rude.

Finally, if a potential mate wanted me to sell them just because he thought they were a waste of money or childist, that relationship would never happen.

 

If someone ever told me that, I would say "Only if you sell all your [whatever their favorite hobby is] stuff first."

 

Never had the problem. =D My ex and my current are actually entertained and support my collection. It makes me happy and brings out the best in my creativity. If it were not for my boys, I really wouldn't have an outlet for myself.

 

Nope, haven't experienced this fortunately. I discovered BJDs after I was with my man for 4 years already. At first he found them a little strange, but when I got my first doll (Soom Amber), she really grew on him She is still his favorite of my dolls, but he also likes my Heliot a lot too and tells me that he won't allow me to sell them because he knows how important they are to me.

 

I'd drop him so fast he wouldn't know what hit him. Telling me to get rid of a hobby is such a huge red flag.

 

Not for me. He teases me a bit, but we're both super nerds so he understands the hobby and likes that they make me happy. He is an avid Nerf-Warer and Magic The Gathering player who likes to buy new set boxes, costing about $120. I experience his hobby in much the same way he does mine, he thinks dolls are creepy but encourages me to get the dolls I like, no matter the price; where as I think Magic is dull and just doesn't interest me, but I like to open packs with him because I tend to pull lucky cards for him

 

I have not had to deal with this situation before.
I've only been with one guy since I started the hobby.
And lucky for me he actually digs it. I think it's kinda weird for him when the dolls are around. But he thinks the photography I take of them is really good. Which I am grateful for, kinda boosts your confidence a little.

However, if I would in such a situation, I wouldn't even deal with said person.
If you're gonna get with someone I'd accept them for everything they are and if they can't do the same then it's time to bounce. Because I def wouldn't sell my dolls if someone I was going out with told me to.
If we were in some dier need of money, maybe. But don't tell me too sell something that means a lot to me because you don't like them or find them embaressing, you know?

 

I haven't actually experienced a situation like that because my boyfriend supports it and says to me I should save for one if I really like it. If I was dating someone that didn't like it or had friends that didn't and they said to sell them because its a waste, I would be really upset about it. You should support peoples hobbies and not dis them and say oh those are a silly thing to collect because they are expensive. Everyone has their own hobby and who is to say you can't keep on with it

 

Fortunately, I have dolls already, and my boyfriend is extremely supportive of my hobby. He says it's a good outlet for me ^_^. If he, or anyone ever told me I should sell my dolls, I'd say they should sell their handbags, their mini helicopters, or what the heck ever it is they're into. And that they need to find a new man, because I'm not going to put up with that. The only person who MIGHT get away with telling me that are my parents or whomever I'm living with and I'm doing nothing to contribute otherwise. But not a boyfriend.

 

No, I'd be super mad and get in an argument if someone suggested that. It takes a lot of work to raise the money for these dolls and then taking proper care of them.

 

It's simple. No one should dictate anyone's else's hobbies unless they may cause serious harm.

 

In a nutshell, this.

I'm a guy. I'd never think of telling my wife what she should or shouldn't like, now or back before we got engaged and married.
She showed an interest in BJDs a couple of years back but money was tight. Recently she's been looking again and we split the cost of her first one. She's since gotten me into the hobby as well and I plan to get my own BJD soon.

 

This question is a bit loaded. One must think why would someone say such a thing. Is selling dolls a necessity, or simply a whim desire of your partner?

I've had friends get rid of toys, baseball cards, etc etc, they've collected through out childhood. I've known friends who have given up their hot rods, bikes, guns, etc, because their partners wanted them gone. And the reasons range from the absolute necessity like, "We need the money", to as selfish as, "I don't want them in the house" or, "I want that room for something else, get rid of your stuff."

Now, these friends of mine, love their partners. So of course they did. Now, what does that say about us, if we simply say, "Screw you, I'm not giving up my dolls, bye." Is your love for a doll worth more than your love for a human being?

 

I would say no. It's good for partners to have some separate hobbies and activities and dolls just happen to be one of mine. I think it'd be very selfish to request the one you supposedly love to give up something they enjoy because you dislike it.

With that said though, if we needed money or were in dire straights, then I'd probably sell them. In that situation I think it would be acceptable, though I'd expect them to sell something too. While I love my dolls, they aren't the most important items to me.

 

Love is not enough if there is not also respect, and if that person can't respect my need to have my things and be involved my hobbies, then they need to be out of my life. Life is too short to put up with that sort of controlling bullshit from anyone, no matter how much they supposedly love you. I wouldn't expect someone to change for me, and I outright refuse to change for anyone else.

 

I'm currently in the process of selling some of my dolls to help out my significant other but it was entirely my choice. If he had asked me to do so right off the bat then I may have re-evaluated my relationship with him as I consider that disrespectful, controlling, and entitled. However, he understands how much my dolls mean to me, has tried to talk me out of it on various occasions, and is very appreciative overall.

 

I would never put dolls or any material possession before a person I loved but I have to wonder about the motives of a person who asks you to give up something you enjoy unless there is a good reason. I believe a person who truly cares about you will not have a problem with the things you enjoy.

 

I think it boils down to a mutual respect issue, if some one walks into your life and says "sell your dolls" what else are they going to tell you to get rid of that has meaning in your life? Family? Pets? Friends? It doesn't often stop at just the material items, that's a lack of respect for the other as a person. The mistake is thinking that you each have to like every thing the other likes. Nope. Differences are good and keep it mixed up, there is a time to "be stuffed up the others back side" and personal time, in our cases to watch poorly made horror films and to make stuff for my dolls.

 

Someone I would dump.