"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate

While I probably would never sell my dolls because my significant other orders, I do think there are circumstances when you probably should. For example, if a girl has several BJDs but can't afford to feed her children, her husband/boyfriend has every right to suggest selling them for the good of the family. If the hobby is putting a tremendous strain on your/your significant other's life, it's not an awful suggestion.

 

Yeah, if those were my circumstances, I would expect myself to see that reasoning. However, those aren't my circumstances. Even when I'm down on my luck, if I've had a doll for two years and haven't bought anything new in that time and the dolls have nothing to do with current money problems--- I'd probably sell the tv and the video game systems first.

 

If it's reason number one that you listed, then yeah, it is best to sell a doll (or dolls) to help provide for a loving, serious partnership that needs the money. I can agree with that.

However, if it's reason number two...then I'm going to take the selfish route. Speaking from personal experience, I've been with control freaks, and it's not fun. (It's usually a one-sided love as well.) If there was no reason to sell a doll other than my partner didn't want it in the house, I'd try to talk it out first. If my partner wanted my one BJD gone for space for something of his instead, we'd have an issue.

 

you know, i've only had one person be negative about my doll addiction XD and thats just one of my brothers (he's scared to death of my doll, idk why tho). Most guys i know pat me on the head and tell me i'm "so cute".... for which they nearly lose that arm (except for a couple of them X3). My boyfriend bought my doll for me and my best friend just loves that the doll makes me happy XD he offered to help make the base for my doll's futon even!

 

Wow, I dont know how anyone interested in someone else would try to dictate their interests. If you love someone you love them including their hobbies.

 

"Get out of my life" says their no longer potential mate - Me.

Ignoring trying circumstances where money would desperately be needed, just telling me to get rid of my dolls is a very effective relationship destroyer. They may be dolls, but I put a lot of time and love into them. They're very special to me. I never want to part with them.

 

I'm fortunate to have a boyfriend who supports my BJD hobby. I don't think anyone who cares about you would ask you to give up something that makes you happy,so I'd tell a guy to hit the bricks if he told me to give up my dolls.

 

"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate.

"Get out my house." Says me.

 

"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate.

"Sure", says me, "if you sell your iPhone/ iPad/ iPod/ computer/ Porsche/ stereo/ (insert whatever he might have that's expensive and not strictly needed for survival)."

 

I dont think anyone could make me sell my dolls unless i decided that myself...

 

My bf doesn't really understand why me or other people in this hobby are so invested in the dolls. Sometimes as a joke he'd pose a scary scenario like the doll getting trashed or getting pee-d on > >;; But I doubt he'd ever really want that to happen to them, since he knows it'd really upset me. I don't expect people not into BJDs to really understand the price and personal value attached to the dolls. Thus, it doesn't tick me off when callous comments are made. I generally find it pretty funny, to be honest, because really, these dolls ARE pricey, and the money theoretically COULD be used elsewhere, perhaps more practical.

 

See, in reverse to this, I actually am dating a guy who has transformers and figuarts collection. It probably is a few hundreds short of being featured on Collection Intervention but nonetheless, his collection is massive. To me, it is not fair to ask him to sell his collection -it's his property and it is what he is buying with his money.

However, if it ever became a point where he would much rather buy toys than say, basic living expenses and we are to the point of being financially scrapped then yea, I would make that suggestion but it isnt going to be an ultimatum.

 

I would tell them to give up their hobby first. Not a potential mate, but I did have this conversation with someone and that's pretty much how it went. My husband is very supportive even if he's still not fond of my dolls. Even when money has been tight hubby has told me not to sell my dolls.

 

If someone says to me to sell my doll, I would be so ticked off about it. That's like saying "Sell your kids if you can't afford them."

 

Before we married, husband collected toys, action figures, and I didn't. He's always picked up toys -- we don't even have kids. So when I decided I wanted a BJD, he was like "Oh wow, that is cool! They are made of resin like a model kit! Wow, you can really mod that if you want to!" and when we got Vincent, he was very impressed, and now he has some BJD's of his own. Our relationship is all about creative artistic expression, if we can afford it, we can do it. My ex wasn't at all supportive of my creative pursuits. One of the bazillion reasons I'm not with him anymore. Life is too short. If someone who supposedly loves you says "Stop doing this thing you love." ask yourself why, because a person who wants you to change like that loves the idea of you, or the idea of being in love, more than they love the real you. Or they are a control freak.

 

If my boyfriend told me to do that, I would just stare blankly. None of his beeswax! Maybe if I was dying?

 

I get that one quite a lot from my grandfather (but he is negative about all my hobbies, apparently 'adults' don't need or have hobbies... No wonder he is 99% grumpy.) Anyway, if we legit needed the money I would understand and accept that comment, but if it came to that I sure as hell wouldn't be the only one making the sacrifice! That expensive and time-consuming ____ hobby he/she might have is going out the door alongside my dolls.

But if we had no such need, and it just came out of the blue because 'they are stupid, unecessary and could fetch a lot of money.' (or something like that) I'd honestly blow up in their face about me doing exactly as i please with my own spare money, and that they should butt out of my business NAO. And then like half a day later when I've blown out of steam, if he/she was still around, I'd approuch that topic a little more calmly... I have a horrible temper that does not do me any favours... ever.

 

My boyfriend is very supportive. Early on, he was kind of scared of dolls (as he found out) so he stayed respectfully away, but he warmed up to them over time (my dolls only though; he's still kind of apprehensive of "strange" dolls). He even said that if he had a bunch of extra money he'd get his own puki (Cupid 3) just so he could piss me off and have him photobomb my photoshoots.

I DID have a close friend who freaked out at me and demanded I stop buying/sell all of my dolls because my spending money on dolls "interfered in our cosplay plans" and they were a "waste of money" (basically she wanted me and her to do group cosplays (and make both of the costumes, naturally), but since I started buying dolls I've stopped cosplaying because I couldn't support both hobbies). I just basically told her to get lost because it was my money and my hobbies, and if I chose to trade one for the other it wasn't any of her concern. Of course, then she showed up to a doll meet and has been planning on buying a doll ever since (though she's never bought one), and I never heard a peep about "waste of money" again.

To me, it's not even the dolls that matter. It respect for MY interests and my leisurely activities. I got a LOT of criticism from my family growing up because I didn't stop playing with toys soon enough, and I never stopped collecting them (I like stuffed animals and models and stuff, and kept buying them well into my teenage years). I'm just sick and tired of people thinking that they can tell me what not to like, and that they can control MY life according to THEIR prescriptions of what's "right". I would not tolerate that from a friend, and I would DEFINITELY not tolerate it from a significant other because it demonstrates a lack of respect for me. And I would NEVER stay with an S.O. who does not fully respect my autonomy and my choices (well, provided they're legal and not detrimental to my health, obviously).

I mean, if it was a matter of finances or the fact that they were really terrified of my dolls? Maybe I'd sell them - out of respect for our relationship or for their health. (Though it would make me sad; I'm very happy my boyfriend got over his fear, because if he didn't I probably would have sold them - not because he asked, but because if we were to live together it would be the right thing to do). But just because they "don't like them" or it's embarrassing? Put your big boy pants on and get over it.

 

If anyone ever told me to give up something that I love I would tell them to never speak to me again.
Like others have said, if it was absolutely necessary to sell them to be able to pay for living expenses and such, then I would. But any other reason? No way.
They make me happy and any potential mate of mine should want me to be happy. If they don't, then they are not worth wasting my time on.

 

In my opinion, if someone you're dating tells you to sell your dolls, they're not really the right person for you. The right person would, even if he/she doesn't like the hobby or finds it strange, tolerate the fact you like them as a bare minimum. They should be tolerant and understand that this is something you love, and that should be fine with them. I'm sure they have some odd hobbies (most people do) that you should tolerate as well. It's great if you can find a guy/girl who will show interest and possibly willingness to try the hobby, but that's not always going to happen, it's sad to say.