"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate

No way would I give up a hobby I love just because someone says so. Any feelings I would of had for that person would swiftly change from positive to negative. A partner should be happy with me doing something that I have great passion in. If they don't respect that, then I don't respect them, which also means they end up getting the boot pretty quickly.

 

my bf understands my hobby so im lucky =)

one of my officemates said the same thing to me as well, she said i should invest my money into useful things, and also said that dolls are not investments despite of their prices. i just ignored her and i will not leave this hobby just because of someone's opinion. afterall, im spending my own money (not hers, not even from my family's pocket), and of course i make sure that i still have my own savings lol XD

anyway, i still have a lot of friends who support my decision regarding my hobby.

 

I certainly don't expect the man in my life to like my dolls or even understand why I like them, however I do expect him to respect my choice to own them and never tell me to sell or get rid of them. If I marry a guy, I'm ok with him telling me that I can't buy a new doll (especially if we have a joint bank account) but I will never marry someone who thinks he has a right to tell me what to do with something I already own! So far though I've been lucky about finding respectful boyfriends!

 

Like a lot of people have said already, this just wouldn't fly. Respect is huge in a relationship and I've only ever had one controlling boyfriend, never again.
On the flip side, I've never had one tell me to sell my dolls. My current boyfriend has his own expensive hobbies such as guitars, amps and what-nots.

 

If a person says that he does not really love you I think If somebody said that to me I would freak ^^ haha
My bf is luckily very accepting he even likes my dolls

 

The only people who ever told me my hobbies are stupid are my parents. X'D
Lucky I don't live with them any more. I don't have a partner at the moment but I never would accept anyone beside me who doesn't respect my hobbies or worse tries to make me sell my stuff!
There's no way I'd do that for anyone, I'd rather stay alone, thank you very much. :>

 

My bf can't stand my dolls. They freak hi out really bad. When I told him I was thinking about selling one of them he was mortified at the thought that I was potentially selling it because of him(which I wasnt) he actually convinced me not to sell it.
It's sort of the "its me or the dog" thing. If they can't accept all of you or at least come to terms with the dolls being part of your life they're not worth it. If someone said "sell the dolls" to me, it would be the end of the relationship.

TC

 

Sell your dolls, says the potential mate. The we were here first says the dolls.



I was wondering if many of you had to deal with this sort of thing from a significant other/potential mate?
Uhm I've had a few mates who didn't understand it but if anyone asked me to sell them that's the equivalent of telling me to get rid of my animals (the answer to both is NOOOOO and that they can readily leave if it bothers them ....). I don't understand why somebody would ask you to get rid of something that means that much to you. Especially an inanimate object that can respectively barely take up any space. Yes they cost a lot and your mate might ask you to not buy any more for a while due to financial reasons but to get rid of them? That's too personal a choice for someone to command.

 

While a significant other doesn't have to understand your hobbies, they should at least have respect for your likes and dislikes. Anyone who asks you to give up something you love is not worth your time, PERIOD.

While I am new to the BJD hobby, I have had other hobbies and interests that boyfriends of the past have tried to deter me from. Note that I say "of the past"! My boyfriend now has been really supportive. When I ordered my first doll, his first question was, "What shelf do you want me to clear off so we can display her?", even though he later admitted that when she arrived with no wig or eyes, she freaked him out, lol. He offers suggestions for customs, and is encouraging me to get out and meet other doll people. He is more supportive and interested in BJDs than I would ever expect a boyfriend to be.
So, yeah, never try to change who you are/what you like for someone else. Neither of you will ever seem to get what you really want out of the relationship, anways. I am still resentful that I let someone else's opinion deter me from things I was interested in.

 

if he can't accept me for who i am & what i am then maybe he is not the one for me...

 

Firstly, I wouldn't be with anyone that was trying to tell me what to do like that before we were even officially together :/
andddd : ) my fiance really loves my dolls aha! he's kinda the reason that I'm even more into them now and show them so openly(because before it was more of a select bunch, I wasn't specifically hiding it, I just didn't want to bother with people who would be ignorant about it y'know?^-^) I think he thought it was a little strange at first, but when he actually SAW my doll Vanilla(my first lati yellow ^-^) he fell head over heels ^_^!! he says that my dolls(well "our dolls" hehe) remind him of me, and they're our "babies" lol! we have so much fun creating little back stories for them and characters, we fight over naming them when they arrive lol! His favorites are Vanilla(a lati yellow cookie) and Loveday(a lati yellow bayer) : ) he had a little freak out at me when I wanted to sell Loveday lol!!!
because of him I have a lot more confidence that dealing with those who are ignorant to dolls isn't such a waste of time as I'd thought ^-^!
I think that as long as you expect people to be okay with them, and are confident about it without doubting your self, people will pick up on that and feel comfortable with them too! (or at least more so than if you act like you expect them to treat you like a freak lol!!)

NOT weird at all, they're a hobby, something that you do to be creative, express yourself or even relax, you put a lot into it, and probably part of your self into it too! nobody has the right to tell you what to do or not do, especially when it comes to a hobby of yours no matter how 'weird' it seems to them ! some people collect antique paintings as a hobby, would he dream of telling them to sell them? ofcourse not, because it's 'sophisticated' and something that's known that people do, but collecting dolls is viewed as a child's hobby, our dollies are works of art, and actually can even be a form of art therapy ! so maybe they're even healthy ! that said I think having hobbies is healthy anyways aha! 3 you were totally right to stand your ground!

 

I'm always suspicious of someone who says they like you/love you, but turn around and want you to make changes or give something meaningful up, just to please said significant other. In my book, it means that they are planning to change you. BAD sign!! In relationships, if you can't accept each other as is, with all the little quirks, then it won't last.

 

I wondering how different this would/will be for a guy like me. Since dolls are typically seen as a girl hobby, I would expect more girls to tell me to sell my girls than guys telling their gfs that. I'd probably just say that I wouldn't buy anymore dolls, possibly just stuff for them. Then if the relationship doesn't work out, I still have my girls and money too lol. I'm kind of a quirky guy anyway, so if a girl gets past my other unique qualities, chances are she'll be able to handle the dolls.

 

These dolls are your very own, and a lot of work goes into making them exactly what you want them to be. They're a lot of money, too. Somebody who would tell you to sell them just because they didn't like them is really inconsiderate. There's always going to be something you don't like about someone, even/especially a significant other, but unless what you're doing is a serious problem (paying for dolls when there's no money or the like) then they shouldn't be able to dictate what you can/can't buy. Especially if it's only a boyfriend/girlfriend--there's no guarantee how long you'll actually be dating them. I mean, if it's a good relationship you hope it will last long, but if they want you to make major changes and get rid of things you love then they're just no good for you.

And honestly, who wants to date or spend part of their life with somebody who wants them to get rid of things they love? It's totally unfair to ask someone to do that.

 

Any potential mate who wanted me to get rid of anything, or give up any of my hobbies would cease to be a potential mate, simple as!

 

I cant really see myself being with anyone who would have an issue with my doll collection. I wouldn't be compatible with such a person from the start. My dolls are no secret to any of my friends and would be no secret to him either.

 

I don't think that would be the issue there. I mean, I'm pretty sure that he would have a hobby that I don't really approve but if he's otherwise potential mate... I'd deal with it.
But if he can't stand this hobby (or any other hobby of mine) it would be bye bye for him. I won't give up something I love just for someone who can't learn to tolerate it...

 

I haven't had this happen to me, but I was scared to bring up my dolls in conversation for the longest time until one day my mom brought it up infront of him. He was perfectly okay with it and even found it cool and wanted to see them and even helps me pick ones out or buys stuff for them.

 

After being in one relationship where my (then) boyfriend insisted that I give up my hobbies because he did not want me to be involved in them, any hint of "you should drop this hobby" will result in me no longer wishing to be around any potential future significant others.

 

My boyfriend thinks my dolls are really creepy... And when I told him how much my dolls cost he said that was stupid... So now we don't talk about it very often anymore. I'll sometimes talk about something doll related that I'm really excited or happy about but I usually try to avoid the subject. When I do talk about my dolls he usually just sits there quietly and listens and doesn't say too much. He's not disrespectful about it but I can tell he doesn't like my hobby. Oh, and I agreed to put my dolls away whenever he comes over since he's so creeped-out by them. But I'd never sell them if he asked me to. I doubt he'd ask me to sell them anyway though. He has expensive hobbies too (videogames, anime, and manga). I don't believe anyone should have to quit a harmless hobby just because their partner says they should. Someone like that probably has a controlling personality so you wouldn't want to be with someone like that anyway.