"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate

Some people...

I'm sorry that happened to you, Zeta-Byte

 

I haven't had or met someone who told me to sell my doll(I currently have one, but planning to get more!). Although my boyfriend is afraid of dolls, but he hasn't said anything negative about it, or about her at least. I try not to bring her up because he just doesn't know what to say, since he isn't familiar with this hobby. I've had her for a good year and I think he's somewhat warmed up to her(only time will tell). So far he has accepted my new hobby, but just doesn't want to be apart of it(in a respectful way). If he does tell me to get out of the hobby, then we will have some serious talking to do! I don't think anyone should stop doing something that they love, just because they don't like it.
It is nice though to have family and friends be supportive and showing interest in this hobby.

 

Nope, my current boyfriend is actually pretty understanding of them. An interesting thing happened when he mentioned my hobby to his mother on the phone and how much they were, and I wasn't sure if I was okay with that since I'd rather tell her about it. As soon as I mentioned my feelings he apologized and was clear that I could have them of course, but I still think he's a little iffy on some of them being so much, but he understands I use them for my art.

 

What kind of person even says that sort of thing. I won't get rid of my hobby just for some guy/girl. That's ridiculous. If I was with the sort of person that told me to sell my dolls, I would have to re-evaluate our relationship. It's not a matter of my dolls being more important than a person, but it's the principle of the thing. How dare someone tell me to get rid of my hobby?
I might sell a doll if I'm desperate for cash for important real life things, but that would be my decision and I wouldn't want anyone to tell me that I need to do that.

 

i have a wonderful fiance who, while he calls them "kae's creepy dolls" and teases me about them, he has actually BOUGHT me two of them!

you see i only ever wanted boy dolls so for our first anniversary he bought me italia my AoD lan and then for my birthday last year he surprised me with luka my RS mei, saying that i needed some girls for my weird dollie family LOL!

and he has even helped me mod my creepiest doll of all my DZ ying head bella muerte who now looks like a skull and is going to be a zombie when i get done with him!

so while my fiance doesnt want to play with my dolls or hold them when i take them places and constantly teases me about how creepy and weird they are he is still very understanding of my hobby and even helps me pursue it! he claims that he doesnt care that he thinks theyre creepy, that he knows i love them and that they make me happy and hes just happy i have something to be passionate about!

he also jokes with me "at least theyre not porceline baby dolls, cus those might just be too creepy for me to stay with you if you started collecting them!"

LOL hes silly but i love him... and honestly i have had a boyfriend in the past try to tell me my dolls were stupid and i should sell them and that was the moment i threw him to the curb cus it wasnt happening and how dare he even suggest such a horrid thing!

 

Nope. I'm not going to get involved with someone who would try to change me or my way of life. It's not a good foundation for a healthy relationship.

 

I wouldn't want to be with anyone who told me to get rid of something that I'm quite passionate about. If they couldn't accept that about me, then chances are the relationship will be doomed from the start.

 

I think that if your dating someone, date someone who can except you for you. This is your hobby, not theirs, and honestly; they have no right to tell you what you should or shouldn't do/collect. If the person truly cares about you, they should be able to get over the fact that you own dolls. And if they can't, it's their loss.

 

My girlfriend says she doesn't understand my willingness to pay what I pay for my dolls, and she has asked me repeatedly not to buy any more, but she does so out of love because she doesn't want me to spend money I don't have. We don't have a lot of disposable income, so sometimes I need the extra slap on the hand to keep from giving in to temptation and ending up with credit card debt. She also understands my love for the hobby and has only counseled me to sell my dolls when I've mentioned having those thoughts first. She's maintained that it's a good idea even after I've changed my mind back to not selling them, yes, but she doesn't make an issue of it. We love and respect each other too much for that.

 

I would not put up with a significant other telling me to sell the dolls unless the only other option was starving to death/losing the house/etc from lack of funds. ((though considering how slowly some of my previous sales have gone, we'll probably starve to death anyway)).

 

This would be a big red flag warning that he's going to be overly controlling! I would say."watch out and be careful"

 

"Sell your dolls." Says boyfriend who probably isn't worth my time.

"Delete your World of Warcraft." Says me.

 

Most of my deal breakers in terms of relationships are not about material things. I won't be with a man who wants an open relationship. I won't tolerate a guy who hits or who steals, or who apparently never works and just lives off the women he's with. I can't be with a guy who has a roster of ex's longer than my arm. I don't mind a few but if he's been jumping from short relationship to short relationship all his life or always been into nothing but one night stands than he's probably not the guy for me. Conversely if he's intensely conservative politically and religious we're not going to be able to make it. That's the total polar opposite of who I am.

I do want a solid, steady guy who's going to treat me well but I also want a guy who's politics and that I can stand and that I won't spend half my time defending and the other half arguing with. There has to be some common ground. That's just common sense. Smoking and heavy chemical use (of any kind) are also off the table. The former because I am intensely allergic and have asthma and DOLLS, the latter because I've been there and done that with friends and family and I'm just not into living a codependent lifestyle anymore. I'm not going to have a cow if a guy has a drink or lights up a joint if it's something he can do only once in a while. But a guy who wants to party every day, or even every single weekend, who binge drinks or does drugs to excess. Uhuh. No way.

There are a lot of things I will compromise about. He doesn't have to be making 100K a year for me to date him. I don't care if he owns a house. I'm not into having children but I'd consider adopting one if he really wanted one and if he has some it's not a problem for me. I might even move for the right guy because with what I do for a living I could. That would depend on a lot of things but I just might. But if we are involved and living together, there are two things he'd have to get used to and that's my animals and my dolls. I will not give up my 2 cats or my dolls for love or money. If I have to move them into my office/studio, fine. I'd gladly do that. I'd try to minimize his contact with them if he wished, no problem. But sell all the dolls or give up the cats completely? Sorry. No man, no matter how much I might love him and he me has the right to demand that of me. If he was that adamant about it? It would be a huge red flag that is he probably a controlling jerk and I would not move in with him or marry him if he asked.

I've already had to deal with this in a small way with my father. When he first saw that I was seriously collecting dolls he fully expected me to sell a lot of them and scale down to live in the space I have now. He got annoyed at me putting up so many shelves. He considered my doll collection a total luxury given my finances, and to give him credit, it is. But what he did not understand at first, is that my dolls make me happy. Not in just a collector's joy kind of way but in a therapy kind of way. I need my dolls for much the same reason as I need my pets. I didn't have much of a childhood. I missed out on a lot. Not going into details but the dolls, in a way they are my childhood, my playtime, only I am having it now, as an adult. I freely admit that. They are good for me, for my psyche. They keep me mentally healthy. They give me a creative outlet. They often help me have some FUN when I forget what fun is. He gets it now. Now he buys me dolls, yay, but it was a struggle getting him to understand for a long time.

My life is all about taking care of everybody else. I'm not crazy about that fact, but it's true. The pets, the dolls, they're two of the few things that I do for ME, and that's very important. (Yoga that's also a biggie on my list. I would never give up yoga for a man if he disliked it.) I may love a man, but I love sanity just as much. A man who really loves me, understands me, he's not going to ask me to give up those things. If he does? Then we're obviously not on the same page, might never will be, and the love isn't enough. That's sad. But it's just not something I am willing to do. Not even for him. I kind of view it in the same way that I do a man still offering me a 5K bling ring to marry him when he ought to know me well enough if he really loves me to know I'd never, ever wear one. If you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone you have to know them well. You have to be able to deal with their idiosyncrasies.The pets and dolls, that's the least of what we'll likely have to cope with over the course of our lives together. If he can't handle THAT? Well, we've got bigger problems than my collection of dolls or the two furballs and likely we're doomed anyway...

 

My boyfriend is totally fine with the dolls, thank god. He's not into them but doesn't mind my loooong rants about clothes and shoes and sculpts, which is pretty nice. If I ever met someone who'd dare say this to me, I think I'd get rid of him/her instead of the dolls. One has to set their priorities strait, for heaven's sake.

 

I had co-workers ask me before "Well, what if you meet someone who doesn't like them?" I told them that that person would either have to deal or unfortunatly move on because I am not going to change who I am to meet someone else's expectations for a significant other.

They asked again but what if that was the one thing? I had to shrug and say oh well. I would not ask the other person to change for me, why should I change my interest? If I did that I would be lying to myself and not be me anymore.

Any guy or girl that told me to get rid of thrm or else? I would show them the door.

 

my bf has suggested that I should sell my dolls because I "have too many" but I thiiink all the times he said it he was joking. I have considered selling my Pullips because I don't "play" with them as much (they're harder to find clothes for, I've been too lazy to fancy them up". One time he said "you should sell those big headed dolls" and I agreed and told him why I don't play with them as much. Then he kinda backpedaled, I think. Its hard to tell with him all the time, when he's joking >.>

but anyway... nobody should ever sell anything they love and enjoy at the level we do, just to please someone else. the only time that would be acceptable is if there was an unhealthy obsession. and we know there's no such thing as too many dolls, right, right? ;-P

 

If my girlfriend told me to sell my dolls, she'd better sell hers too :P

 

some people just don't like sharing their partner's attention with anything or anyone else. At first it may be your dolls they resent, but they will progress to resenting pets, friends, parents, siblings, and of course should you want children - forget it! As the saying goes - better to lose a lover than to love a loser! Not to mention, 10yrs down the line with someone like this, when you've lost everything else BUT them (including any self-confidence or independence you may have once had) - you will regret it - absolutely.

 

My partner is the one who got me into dolls! Lol. I was the one she had to win over. But if someone, anyone, even my own mother, demanded that I'd sell something that I paid for with my own hard-earned money, I would automatically refuse (suggesting it is fine, if they're honestly trying to be helpful).

What I buy with my money is my choice and I never make big purchases if I think it will affect my financial situation for other priorities/necessities. Telling me to sell my dolls/stop buying them because they're a waste of money is pretty much saying that I don't know how to handle or control my finances, to me. Personally, I find that to be more insulting.

 

I feel lucky. My Duckie (fiancé o: ) thinks BJDs are cool. He tells me my vinyl dolls are weird, and he pokes fun at me (in good spirits) sometimes, but he's totally supportive and is happy that I have something that makes me so happy. He has even mentioned wanting a BJD someday to make like Asuka from NGE. >< Besides, he has his own expensive hobbies (fountain pens, and when we graduate he'll be collecting expensive watches too- he already gave me one for Christmas), which I think are neat, so we are even. ^^