"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate

My husband (although he's only supportive in the hobby) actually never wants me to part with my dolls if he can help it. XD
I have mentioned to him that if a financial emergency were ever to occur, that I would think about selling some of my dolls to help. It actually made him sad, and his response was "That's not fair, you love your dolls! I hope that it will never come to that, we would have to think of something else."

He's a keeper, but heaven forbid anything happen to him, and I were to eventually move on to find another mate...
I think if I ever met a guy that said "You should sell your dolls"... I would definitely have a mental red flag go up & consider dropping him there. Lol. To me that means they see just dollar signs, while I see endless childlike merriment and use.
It's almost like they're visiting someones house, choosing to sit on the floor, & telling the house owner to sell all their furniture (because it just takes up space when you can get money for all of it). It's not just an opinion, its disrespectful and a bit greedy. :/

 

Well, I never had such a problem, but if anything... my SO would have to go bc there's no way i'd sell my dolls just bc of him
I mean, they're an integral part of me. It's like saying to a painter - no more canvases in our house. Dolls come with me as a standart option. There is no 'me' without them. I'd fine with people not accepting it, but it's the people who'd have any problem and not me.

But - the good news - the fact that I have dolls always comes up in a discussion so everyone knows - whoever gets to know me - since the first day that, e.g.: I'm a student, have a mum and sibs (blah-blah-blah) *and I collect dolls*. I'm a 'what-you-see-is-what-you-get kind o a person and I never hide with it )

Considering that, I doubt if anyone would say after, lets say several months of knowing me and being engaged to me, that they'd prefer that i got rid of the bjds ) I'd mean that all the other stuff - like my personality, talents (for cooking and stuff), pretiness (alleged but lets say they'd like it mean nothing to that person... which is kind of sad.

One thing I could somehow understand is that if they knew about my dolls but never actually saw them until some loong ago (also unlikely in my case and had a strong pediophobia. I have a strong arachnophobia, and I couldn't possibly live/be with a guy who keeps a cute, fluffy Mr.Tarantula or something. I'd probably leave him (unless he decided to sell his uhm... pet) but I'd understand if he wanted to keep the thing. (all in all it's good to get to know some thig before hand. And so if someone has a phobia/problem with things - it'd good to ask about it on the first date. One the other hand - if someone has a controversial hobby (and such are imho bjds) it'd better to say that a bit earlier, so that the person knows before they're too engaged emotionally etc.

 

It ticks me off that someone would even say that. I'm sure I wouldn't be interested in them any more if they persisted with it either.
I would just let them know they don't control me or my hobby, and if they didn't understand that then oh well. There are plenty more people in the world.

 

I'm thankful to have a boyfriend who supports my hobby, even if he doesn't always understand the appeal to me. My Boyfriend and future spouse is very supportive of my dolls, and he himself collects action figures so we do have a thing to bond over.

 

It would be the time to get a new boyfriend. If you like someone you don't want them to get ridden of things that make them happy, there no but about it, even if you don't have interest on it you support it for making them happy.

On emergency I would also be ticked off if asked to sell them if he didn't want to sell any of his own hobbies. If he come and said 'I will sell this of my stuff, is there any doll you could part with to help?' I would find much better. But just directly saying me to sell it would be a big no. I think after that we can look for another way to solve it since I would t want him to part with things he consider important to him either.

 

"Find someone else" would be my reply. I dated a guy friend for a week who I knew disdained my dolls. He was into hunting and out doors stuff, as well as comic books and things like that. We are still friends but he completely disrespects my hobby (I am respectful of his, including his almost over the top fascination with My Little Pony--nothing wrong with a brony but dude, if you're a man older than 30 and hard core ponies, don't you say a danged thing about my dolls). He once remarked in a 'superior' manner "when you talk about the cost, I think of all the camping or boating stuff I could be getting with that." He was very smug until I said,"Yeah, but that's your thing. I am not into the outdoors stuff. So when /you/ talk about the cost of that, I think of dolls. Everyone has their expensive hobby."

Basically, everyone has that /one thing/--the guilty pleasure. You should respect it as long as it's safe and legal. Maybe it's the guy you want to date has a shrine to his favorite foot ball/sport hero in his closet. If you can respect and tolerate that, he should respect your interest. And maybe, what I am trying to say is that it all boils down to respect. You can have a different opinion and a different taste in hobbies, but if someone flagrantly disrespects that and expects you to change, drop them. That's disrespect.

 

"Sell your dolls" would be the last words of the then ex-boyfriend :-P
He don't need to share the hobby or love or understand what you like, but he needs to accept it..

I've preordered My first Resin BJD a LS Chuchu and "confess" him, I've bought a bigger then then my others.. he only knew my pullips dolls.
And he said its ok, then I show him a pic and he said that she is really pretty *-*

He has guilty pleasures to.. he collects figure from pc games or series like a huge worms plush or the Lego set of Ghostbuster..
I will use them maybe in my picks someday, when he is not there *evil laugh*

 

When I first started dating Daniel, I was a little ashamed to reveal my interest in the hobby. Luckily for me, he was more than supportive in my hobby and even gave me my first doll and eventually got into the hobby himself. The only time I ever heard him consider selling our dolls was during hard times and even then he recanted those words as the doll with the most monetary value was his. Hahahaha.

 

I'd probably answer "You should sell your -favorite thing-." or "Out of all my hobbies, this is the one that has you the most concerned?" just to see how they'd react. What I do with my time is my business. I'm all for letting people into my life, but I'm not inviting them in to start dictating. I don't want to show them the door but the negativity isn't what I need.

 

I'm honestly appalled by this! Nobody who cared about you would say this. Anyway, who gave him the right to control your life and choices - it wouldn't bode well for the future, what else might he want to give you commands about? Say goodbye - you deserve better.

 

If anybody makes a suggestion like that I would not ne pleased. It is my hobby and important to me. I have never understand why you even start dating someone whose hobbies you don't like.

 

Never had to deal with it, no. But I expect my husband to respect my interests and hobbies the same I respect his. ( even if I find them odd or frivolous). Bc that's part of who a person is. Their hobbies and interest. If someone is going to be like that about something small, what are they going to be like on more important thing?

 

Any "potential mate" who suggests I give up any of my hobbies or anything that is mine (whether it be BJDs, books, anime figures, or my cat) loses all potential and is out the door instantly, no question.

It doesn't matter what the situation might be, no one should have to change who they are just for the sake of finding themselves a "mate." If someone cannot accept who you are--all parts of that--then they are not worth your time.

 

My x-boyfirend used to tell me that if I liked certian kinds of music or movies that he didn't like that it was NOT COOL. Then I met my husband. He always encourages me be into whatever I like. Sometimes he doesn't understand the appeal but he asks me what I like about it and listens to my view. He ends up liking my stuff because he knows it makes me happy. He is very into building synthesizers He talks about designing circuit boards etc. I learned about his hobby because I am interested in him. He knows a lot about dolls now, and when we go to anime conventions, he points them out and tries to recognize the different dolls. One thing that has helped us to is that we don't share money. We both pay the bills but whatever is left over is ous to spend. I like it that way because I don't have to ask or even tell him that I am going to buy something. Lately I have been worried about display space issues. He is helping me design better display shelves so all the dolls fit in the bedroom. He is the best!

 

I would say "How about I sell you instead?" Just kidding. Anyway, those words would never come out my potential lover's mouth because my potential lover will understand my hobby and most likely will be into it.

 

My ex was that way. He was embarrassed of my dollies. My fiance now appreciates my dolls. Maybe not love them, but understands why I like them!

 

Why? what reason did the potential mate offer?
I have sold dolls for lots of different reasons, some financial, some space related, some because I had choices to make.
Notice the I
Advice, well meant, is fine, but you make the decision.

 

You shouldn't avoid mentioning your hobby once you feel like (even if only maybe) getting into a more closer relationship.
Because it helps to somehow ''sort out'' the people and see what they are really like.

 

My girlfriend is creeped out by dolls in general and is STILL supportive of my hobby! She even asks about my customizing and clothing making plans because she knows that's a creative outlet that I really enjoy. And in exchange, I just tell her my plans and don't show her any of my dolls because she clearly has a bit of a phobia about them. She's fine with anthro dolls, though, so I get to have my "kitties" out whenever.

 

Man. If someone dared saying something that insensitive to me I'd say there's no space in my life for that person.