"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate

I'd be giving that potential mate their walking papers, because seriously, I'm not shelving my interests just to suit someone else's ego.

(Thankfully, it has never come up. My husband has been remarkably supportive of my hobbies, exactly the same way that I've been supportive of his.)

 

I'm so glad I've never met anyone that's shamed me about how I spend my time or money, if they did it'd be "end of discussion" pretty quickly lol

 

I wouldn't tolerate somebody telling me to sell my dolls. They're already bought and paid for, and no one gets to dictate what kind of hobbies I have. I would be more understanding if they said to hold off on buying new ones, or accessories or other art supplies for a while because money is tight, etc., however.

 

Ohh that's horrible. I have personally never been told to sell my things by my partner but Iv'e had family tell me time and time again that my hobby isn't worth anything. My partner wouldn't really be able to do that though because he loves hobbies and supports all of mine just like I support his.

 

Absolutely not. My dolls are a passion- a part of me that I will not compromise or hide, and a potential partner wouldn't talk bad about it.

I know a lot of people are under the impression that dolls are basically shelf-sitting financial investments and they don't understand that we willingly shell out that much money with zero intention of selling them in the future. However, if I'm even going to consider you as a partner, you will either try to understand them or in the least, be supportive. Anything else is a sign of disrespect in my opinion and will not be tolerated. A dislike of my dolls is to dislike a strong aspect of my personality- we are no longer compatible if it is a problem.

This is not to say that I would want them to shut up and get over it- it means that they have to be the kind of person that already accepts strange hobbies. Preferably someone with a special hobby of their own, that way they'll understand how happy these things make me.

I'm also a horseback rider, and I've noticed that people are easier to accepting that (even though horses cost the equivalent of two Volks Limiteds every month) than they are to my dolls, meanwhile my closer horse friends think my dolls are really interesting and pretty.

 

When I was getting into this hobby that scared me a lot. I knew they were expensive and I would be looked at like I was stupid and to my surprise I didn't have to hear anything about it. I only heard "why are they so expensive but so breakable? " my boyfriend was more concerned with my ability to take care of it and even helped me pick one of them out and name it. I have one more doll on the way and I am crying broke because of school and thinking I'd hear "don't get the doll" I was amazed when I heard "if you need me to I'll pay off your doll." I am very fortunate my boyfriend is so understanding to the point that when I feel down on my luck with financial problems and my sucky living situation he immediately tells me I can't get rid of the dolls. Anything else but not my dolls.

 

I would not put up with that. That is someone I would never want to be with. I can understand discussing it, but I would never be told what to do, and if I was, I would know that is a person that needs to hit the road.

 

No way, I'd probably tell him to sell whatever he likes to collect in response! See how he likes that, haha.
My s.o. is a nerd who collects figurines, guitars, vinyl records.... his hobbies are not the cheap kind either, so I expect him to let me have my own hobby no matter what it is.

 

When I mentioned selling my own doll to my fiance his immediate reaction was to tell me not to do that because I love my doll.. This is coming from a man who is seriously creeped out by dolls, haha. I think if I had mentioned it myself and he had said yeah maybe that would be a good idea, that that's fine, but if he had just said it out of the blue? No way. I think it's sort of horrible to suggest someone sell their belongings that they care about and worked hard for. Unless it's a situation where there is a huge money issue and the significant other is planning to sell something they care about also.

 

Nope this hasn't happened to me. the only relationship I felt serious enough to even need to mention it made a little nervous to bring it up. I put it off for awhile but when I told him it was perfectly fine we're still together now(almost 2 yrs ) and hes more active and comfortable with my Tetsuya. We even have plans to cosplay as Fallout characters with Tetsuya having his own jumpsuit!

 

That's really cute and awesome. I was almost like that with the guy I'm dating right now. I wasn't sure what he would think about my hobby so on the first date, I told him about it. He thought it was weird but cute. We've been together for almost year now.

 

Aww im really happy for you! I agree that just going ahead and talking about it helps because the worst they can say is that they don't like them which may not even be a deal breaker. I'm glad he accepts that it's your hobby though and doesn't judge you for it.

 

I am so happy to hear not much people encounter problems of this sort ^w^ Fortunately is the same in my case, my fiance is very supportive and it couldn't be other way because he wouldn't be my fiance if he didn't think that way about my dolls.
I started with the BJDs when we had been dating for 5 years, at first he didn't think I would buy a doll because of their price (I hadn't spent that much on anything before), but now he loves my girls (not so much my boy, but I feel that is because now there is another man to take care of the girls xD)

 

I couldn't imagine being with someone who would want me to sell my dolls. My art and my hobbies are a part of me. I couldn't be friends with someone who couldn't accept or at least respect the things I love let alone date them. I don't spend all that time and effort to make my boys pretty just to sell them to make someone else happy. Why should you have to get rid of something that makes you happy to make someone else happy?

 

Not happening

 

When I discovered bjds, I was with my last boyfriend. When I showed him dolls I really loved, he would give me really interesting appraisals of the sculpt quality because he was an artist! I couldn't get a doll at all in the time we were together. I have a feeling, though, that if I bought a doll, during times of financial struggle, he would have expected me to sell it.

I'm single right now and I really have thought about what will happen with a potential boyfriend when he learns about my dolls. Or when he sees them in real life. They're in my bedroom, so if we were doing adult things in there, I don't know how he'd feel about it. That said, if a man was trying to tell me that I needed to get rid of my dolls because he didn't like them, thought it was a ridiculous hobby, or any other reason, we'd be re-evaluating our relationship. When I was younger, I was pretty much a doormat in relationships, and probably would have caved and sold them, but that's not the case now. I refuse to give up something I really love for someone. If he can't appreciate that I have my own life and my own hobbies and my own passions, he doesn't respect me enough for me to be in a relationship with him.

 

I'm quite lucky that my husband is a collector himself so he completely understands and supports my addiction. He collects classic video games and half the time spends more money on a single game than I do on my dolls. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable dating someone who wouldn't 100% support my interests. I wouldn't try to control how he spends his money and in return, I'd expect him to do the same.

 

I think asking your partner to give up their hobby is a huuuge red flag.
There's definitely compromises that might need to be made tho, like not spending more than x amount on hobbies or not keeping the dolls in your shared bedroom. Personally I wouldn't want a boyfriend/husband who isn't at least neutral about them.

 

That wouldn't be my potential mate anymore. The person is controlling and insecure.

 

I wonder if non-collector would see it as petty that pretty much all of us "prefers our dolls over our partner". But as many here have said, if a partner gives you an ultimatum between them or your hobby, it's a red flag. It shows that this person is controllant and it probably won't stop at just the dolls.