"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate

My fiance is actually getting a vicarious pleasure out of seeing me hunting for stuff for my soon-to-be Rika doll, so it isn't a problem at all ^_^

 

in a relationship people have to meet in between and agree on issues like money its really sad how lot of the time people break up or get divorced over it. i think if you not spending your partners money on the dolls and limiting them is the best when your in a relationship even if both people love dolls you really have to learn to live within your needs

 

I haven't, but it won't happen. Everyone got something they do that someone else finds dumb. Like I spend my money on dolls, others at work spend it on travel every couple of months, or designer purses, or shoes. Last co-worker that had the nerve to call my collecting of dolls dumb quick shut up when I mentioned the purse they had. So if I won't put up with it from a co-worker I'm not doing it for a boyfriend or husband. Sorry it makes me happy and the dolls are cheaper than a shrink and meds.

 

Hell to the no.
Putting financial issues aside, like many posters before me this would be a reason to shove the person out the door. I don't see it as choosing between dolls and people, it's choosing between who you are and this person. If anyone I was seeing told me to give up any (healthy) hobby or interest of mine it would shoot off a huge red flag that read: Crazy Control Freak! And I would promptly run as fast as I could in the opposite direction. Why would I want to stay in a relationship that would change who I am? Control freaks just get worse as time goes on.

Some guy (he was married and played WOW) told me once that if a couple only depended on each other for entertainment, and did not have their separate hobbies that they would eventually get real sick of each other.

Personally I haven't had this problem. I had already been with my BF for a few years when I bought my first doll. Sure, he had a knee-jerk reaction to the price, but he got over it. And recently I asked him if he wanted me to get rid of my dolls and he said ‘Why would I want that? They make you happy.’ Just like I wouldn’t want him to stop playing his fighting games and FFXI. Not only does it give me more time for my dolls and other things, playing video games makes him happy.
I don’t expect him to love my dolls, just put up with some doll talk and I’ll listen to him talk about his interests.

 

My boyfriend spends more money on his hobbies, he has a lot of money and owns 5 game consoles and a lot of games. I don't have any superexpensive dolls, I can't afford that. If it would be said, it would probably the other way (me saying to him he should buy less) and only when needed (while having money-problems)..

 

i feel if someone would want to decide what hobbies i should have or not have, they would not be the right person to be with. sure you make compromises in general about how you live, when you are together, but you should still be able to be your own person and make your own decisions, and if someone can't accept that i wouldn't want them in my life. it's not so much about "putting dolls before a person" but more about "putting myself in first place, being true to who i am".

i got into dolls when i was together with my boyfriend for 4 years already, he wasn't so much into them but he didn't mind them either. now he is quite interested in them and i keep him updated about the ones i care about, so he even has quite the doll knowledge himself. he owns a pullip and wants a porcelain bjd enchanted doll, so he kind of grew into the doll hobby through my interest in it.

 

Ah...My girlfriend knows I have dolls but I don't think she knows how much I spent on them. :'D I don't think she would prevent me from buying them but would probably face palm at the price! XD I don't think I would break up with someone over it but I would let them know that it's my money and they're my dolls. If they pushed it past that I would have a very serious conversation with them. Any further and it might lead to major problems. Couples need space so I don't expect her to become involved in my hobbies nor I hers. There doesn't need to be approval only tolerance. Everyone has a hobby that someone thinks is a waste of time so it's just a matter of finding someone who will just accept it and move on!

 

I've had it happen with other things, not just my dolls. Took me a while to realize I was being an idiot.

But I was told I should sell my dolls even though they have a very real sentimental value to them. Since 2 were gifts from someone whose past.

If someone loves you it's for you...not your possessions, not the way you dress, not a certain hair color you may have one month, you...all that crap is just extra. If it's serious and they intend on being a life partner then they should already be aware of the hobby >.<

I'm glad I found someone who is as much of a nerd as me. ^.^

Never change for someone you 'love' it's the worst thing you can do for yourself. And selling your dolls if it would be ending something you love is doing just that.

I'll stop ranting now...heh.

 

When I first told my boyfriend I thought he would think I'm crazy (like the rest of my family and friends did) but he was fine with them. I think if someone truely cares about you then they should care about ALL of you. Even your odd hobbies

 

Personally, once you move in with someone or are sharing any significant amount of your finances, the "it's my money" argument ceases to be valid. Even if rent, bills, food/cleaning supplies/toilet paper/other mutual things are 100% split between you, and you each have very definite "after all this is paid, the rest left over from my income is my money" agreement, there should at least be communication about major purchases and such, because it does effect the other person (especially in a financial emergency). It is their business, and if they are going to have a huge problem with it the two of you (general you, not anyone specific) probably are going to have other compatibility issues.

(as in my previous post, not attacking or insulting anyone or their relationship, just stating my views on how things "should" be)

 

Besides in cases of absolute emergency, where all priced possessions need to be sold in order to pay for primary needs, my only answer to "Sell youre dolls" would be "Goodbye and farewell".

 

I had an ex who was extremely concerned with my interest in dolls.
The day we broke up was the day after a doll meet.
He was on the phone with me, questioning why I collected dolls, saying he was "trying to understand"

but then accusations started.
Accusing me of not liking people, of wanting people to be perfect and replacing them with dolls, of not liking my own self so I projected myself onto perfect little dolls, etc.
Wanting me to get into therapy, concerned I had a condition.

I knew it was going to be him, or the dolls.
And that D-bag was sent to the curb
only for me to total my car 3 days later..... and what was he? a mechanic :p (yar, that was fun)

I know that was off topic a bit, but it's because of that, that absolutely NO ONE will EVER have an opinion over my dolls.
That relationship has made me very defensive of my hobby, and I don't care who you are to me, you have no right to make me do anything I don't want to with my dolls.

However, lets say I'm married and me and my husband have a bill we have to pay and we can't afford it and he asks me if I'd consider letting one of my dolls go to cover it.
"asking me to" not "forcing me to" then yes, I probably would (unless he was like... SELL YOUR FAVORITE)
Since it is obviously something that has to be done. He would have to assure me that he would be fine with me replacing it when we have the money again, however. If I felt missing that character/doll was affecting my story/family too much.

 

I had a boyfriend who had just gotten into world of warcraft - which I had played for years previous - and he made a character on a different faction than I was on. He demanded that I change and start over to play with him or stop playing, despite the investment of several years and characters onto my own home server. I said no. He told me it was really important to him that we play together. I told him it was really important that we respect each other. He said it was a dealbreaker - and I agreed: "Lack of respect is a dealbreaker.".

Now I have a boyfriend who I can talk dollies with (and who plays warcraft WITH me), and would never ever tell me how to spend my hobbymoney, just like I'd never tell him to spend his hobbymoney differently. I might not understand why he needs to buy what he does, but relationships are about sharing and respect.

 

My boyfriend bought me my first doll . I don't fuss at him about computer parts he wants to buy and he doesn't fuss at me about doll stuff. He does show concern when I should be saving and not spend my money. He serves as my conscious sometimes. he would never tell me to sell anything unless I chose to. He did come up with a good policy though, whatever I spend on dolls, I have to agree to myself to save up that amount and not spend it. A partner should never tell you to sell something you treasure. Even if you are in debt (which I am) you at least will have something that will make you happy when times are rough and they should be there to support you through it.

 

I've never had a lover, but if they said something like that to me, I would just flat-out say no. If they can't accept that I love dolls, it's their issue. Anyone who has problems with that isn't worth my time.

 

ha! My husband may not like the dolls (thinks they're creepy ) but even he thinks that is messed up. Of course, he has many many toys of his own that were I to say "sell those" he'd be incredibly hurt and probably refuse to do so (not that I blame him). Now if I was dating someone and they told me to sell them, I'd laugh in their face and tell them to go pound sand. Someone you're not married to (or getting married to) has no right to tell you what to do with your money. And even then, it's only ok if your hobby is killing your relationship.

 

Collecting dolls is one of my less expensive hobbies (at the moment), and my boyfriend likes seeing me happy, so for now we're good.

I did have an experience where a guy suggested I give up horseback riding because it costs too much money for something that's "not even a sport." We broke up soon thereafter :/

 

My boyfriend doesn't mind as long as there's money to spare for hobbies such as BJD's. He's the person to understand these kind of things. I haven't bought a doll just yet but I've been talking to him a lot about it and he doesn't mind if I do it as long as we both know where the money should go first before investing in a doll. He likes having his electronics and I like my figurines. It's a mutual agreement that we have our respective hobbies. He would never say sell anything of mine unless we're in super dire straights and need to survive. I would understand that and wouldn't argue with him if he asked. I've sold some things of mine- like my celtic harp so that we could pay for rent at one point when the economy took a huge downturn and everyone was laid off in the area. As long as it's a situation of life and death then I would agree for practical reasons but otherwise he would never ask me to sell off anything that is mine. In fact he felt horrible when I sold off my celtic harp but sometimes you have to do what you have to do in order to survive especially in a recession and in an area that has a lot of skilled workers without jobs fighting over 1 position, ect.

 

If this happened to me I'd say something along the lines of;

Sell the dolls? Ha I'd make more money selling you for your organs, hmmm I wonder what the price of a human kidney is these days? Think of all the dolls I could buy of just one of thoese puppies.

And then watch them run >D

 

I've dated a few people who thought "dolls are creepy" and I must admit, to a doll-phobic person, my bedroom would be a special sort of torture, however I could not date someone who asked me to sell my dolls.
Granted I'm not even at the point where I would consider moving in with someone.
I suppose it would only be a huge issue if you were . Otherwise, why should it really matter what you collect.

Anyone who asks you to change yourself and your life for them, isnt worth the time.