"Sell your dolls" says the potential mate

Said potential mate would be dumped faster than their brain would be capable of processing. It's that simple.

They're the newer fixture in my life. They're not going to come in and rearrange things to their liking. Reasonable compromises might be made to accommodate them but they would have to be damn near god-like to get me to give up things that make me happy for them.

 

Unbelievable. Of course I believe that unfortunately there are cases, but it sounds so surreal to me. I cannot understand it. From my point of view, if you really love a person you want that person to be happy with what makes him/her so, no matter whether you like his/her hobbies or not. I think the logical attitude would be supporting him/her with it and even trying to understand/share somehow that joy this hobby gives us. That is also the way of thinking of my partner who knows about every resin step I take.

 

I agree, Nanlady. My husband has hobbies of his own, and he's supportive of mine, even if he doesn't exactly get it! He'd only ask me to give up my dolls for a really good reason, and he'd be doing the same.

 

Wow. The answer to that one would be, well, it would kind of be a fight between A. Mind your own f'ing business, B. Get the F out of my house, like, five minutes ago or C. You're an idiot. Now get the F out.
Seriously, if someone was that insensitive to me it would be bye, cannot wait to see the back of this one. Not a chance. NFW.

Thank you, heavens above for a mate who would never be that guy. Bleech.

 

Depends on the situation. If a person was in desperate financial straits and was ignoring the bills in favor of buying more dolls, then I can imagine a partner gently suggesting that selling some dolls/dolly stuff might be a good idea. Heck, if my family was in a desperate financial situation, my partner wouldn't even have to suggest it--I'd sell my dolls in an instant before doing something like, say, pawning my wedding band I can also imagine a partner being concerned if a person was spending all their free time and money with the dolls, to the detriment of the relationship.

But as for one person demanding that the other give up a beloved hobby...that really has no place in a loving relationship.

 

I'm sorry you've encountered that. My husband was really happy that I was able to get one and he even helped me find her name. I think he may even get one someday to represent his DnD warmage. I can see my Dad saying I *could* sell, but he wouldn't mean anything awful by it. His family's very enterprising.

 

It depends. If I were in a bad financial situation or if my dog needed vet emergency money my dolls would be the first to go. Basic needs come first. My SO would do the same; his motorcycle would go. We are supportive of each other's hobbies but we are also careful. He built his motocycle for fairly cheaply and I am selling my first boy because I don't need two of the same doll; I love my second boy more anyway. So....although I think that a potential SO needs to be respectful of your interests I also think a SO has the right to broach the subject of selling if you're ignoring bills and other needs for your dolls.

 

Well, I don't have dolls yet, or a potential mate, but I agree with those who say that a SO has no right to dictate a hobby, but every right to have an interest in a household's financial matters. If its "sell your dolls" because "I think they are creepy/I'm ashamed to have friends over to the doll house or whatever" that's not cool, and I hope that aspect of someone's personality comes out before the relationship gets too serious, but if its "sell your dolls because we are going to lose the house/sell your dolls because a family member is ill" than that seems much more reasonable. Honestly, dolls are hobbies/interests/luxury items and should be treated as such within the context of the relationship.

 

Ya know, even if someone you care about isn't -that- into your dolly hobby, it's just downright disrespectful for a boyfriend/girlfriend to even hint that -you- should sell -your- property because they don't feel it's a worthwhile invesment in time or money or both. Lucky me, my girlfriend things my dolls are HER dolls too. xD And when I get a new one she always asks me, 'When is our new girl coming home?!'

 

I would love to see the look on their face after that. X3 would be worth photographing.
"Yes, I love my dolls more than you, now leave" hehe

 

I don't think I could be with someone if they asked me to pick them or one of my hobbies nor would I ever ask anyone to give up a hobby for me. it's seems unfair to say if you love me you'll sell your dolls or comic books or whatevers.

I'm very very lucky my boy friend likes my dolls and has gotten into the hobby him self (he owns 3 of his own now)
he's unnderstanding of my doll love really makes me happy and that this is one more hobby we can share is a great joy
we even have gotten each other dolls as gifts I got him a EID girl for X-mas and for our 9 year anniversary he got me a full set Soom MD Monzo

 

Anyone who would demand such a thing, however much he or she doesn't get into the hobby, would swiftly go from potential mate to imminent ex.

My response would be swift, decisive, firm, and highly unprintable.

I thank God that my partner not only loves me, but totally supports my interest even when she doesn't quite get it. She even treats Chae-ri with great respect even though she's "just a doll". The other night when I was packing up after work and she was helping me, Darling picked up Chae-ri and said "Sorry, Chae-ri, but we're in a hurry" before cramming her head-first into her carry satchel.

At least Darling was nice about it...

 

He/she isn't a decent partner to begin with if they're telling you what you can and can't do. That would turn me off on the whole relationship. (its happened before. I'm not changing for nobody) They need to get steppin'. IMO.

A persons' hobby is a sacred thing. It defines who you are.

 

Has anyone ever experienced the opposite? I talk about maybe selling one of my dolls and my boyfriend says, "but she's such a pretty doll, you should keep her." He wouldn't mind if I did sell, but whenever I ask his opinion it's always 'don't sell.'

 

Anyone that would say such a thing to me would be instantly on my black-list. ^^

My significant other even shows concern for my boys when I don't talk about one of them for a while. xD Like I'll be talking about Nanashi, my newest boy, for about a week and then he'll ask what happened to Nicolai?!
He admitted that he doesn't want them looking right at him, but appreciates all the work and care going into them. ^^

 

I also would not sell my dolls if that was suggested by my partner. I think some people get wide-eyed at the idea of "all that money," not realizing that most dolls resell for quite a bit less than their purchase price. The average person seems to think that because these dolls are so pricey, they are "investment pieces"--expensive, untouchable, and ready to be unloaded when the market looks good. I've had people get confused and eagerly insist that I should sell the dolls to "make a lot of money," even though I wouldn't be making anything! I wouldn't get back what I paid, and that's not why I own dolls. Most people don't have a good idea of what actually happens when specialty items are sold and purchased.

However, there are also those who react like "your hobby is creepy and you should change because I don't like it." That type of person is not the type of person I want in my life, because that type of person doesn't fully appreciate me as a person. It's important to be loved for who you are, not for who someone else wants you to be.

As anbaachan mentioned, it's also possible that you may be in dire straits at some point, and the life partner might see the dolls selling your dolls as a necessary move to avoid something much worse. I know that if I were faced with rent that needed to be paid, medical bills to take care of, or another family emergency, I would sell my dolls. I don't want to be destitute, and outright selling would do me better than having my dolls repossessed. In that case, I'd think my partner was making a rational suggestion with a logical motivation.

This happens to me, too. My husband doesn't necessarily want to admit it, but he gets really attached to my dolls. If I talk about selling one, he always protests.

 

My boyfriend of just about 4 years raises an eyebrow when I show him the dolls then his mouth drops when he sees prices. But then I remind him of his paint balling hobby, TONS of video games he has, never mind OTHER hobbies he has that does cost large sums of money. I also do renaissance reenactments as well. Haha. Another love of mine! I've always loved dolls though, I've just recently really gotten interested in the Ball jointed doll community. I have many Victorian porcelain dolls, collectible barbies ( over 50 some worth quite a bit) so he kinda gets it? But he would NEVER say "You need to sell them" because he just isn't cruel like that, he's just really overwhelmed with the prices or says "But sweety...do you need it?" Well of COURSE not, if I don't get the doll I will not die but I enjoy collecting them and they make me smile with their beauty, they are works of art! Makes me sad that most of my dolls are in storage because I moved into a friends house...from my HUGE house. I miss my babies. BDJ's certainly take up less room! haha.

He's very respectful otherwise, but I don't talk about dolls often with him. I'm sure will be ok with them hanging out around our place (when we get it >_< ) and I will let him have his random crap hanging around the house. All about compromise and respect ^__^ To each his own!

 

That is awesome
I think it's cute how guys may get attached and then just pretend they are not. My boyfriend also got me one of my dolls for last Christmas and he always is talking about how she is the best, and the most favorite over the ones I bought myself. (....She is my favorite though).

 

My fiance isn't interested in these dolls, but in Dollfie Dream.
Although, he did say that I'm not allowed to have more than 3. [Even though he is allowed to have and ENTIRE HARUHI SUZUMIYA SHRINE. I'm not kidding. An actual shrine.]

That pissed me off, bad. He likes her more than he likes me.

But he would NEVER tell me to sell anything of mine. Dolls included. He knows how I get attached to stuff. &#9829;

 

"Sell the dolls" they say.

"out the door" I say.

:'D