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Should She Worry What Her Friends Think About Her Having Dolls?

Apr 7, 2012

    1. Don't care. So very much don't care.

      That said, I do treasure the close friends who have come my way via this hobby. But we have much more that binds us together than JUST the dolls, and I think we would stay friends even if the dolls vanished into thin air.
       
    2. I think that comfort in one's skin comes with age, and I am glad that I am comfortable with being geeky and not minding so much anymore what people think about me. For years, I got odd looks and comments because I've loved Star Trek since it was originally on the air. Some friends shared that interest, and some didn't.
      While it can be fun to share with someone who enjoys the same things, I've also enjoyed dolls and Trek alone. Having dolly friends means I can ask questions and get suggestions about dressing my dolls that I wouldn't ask other people. People enjoy what I mean when I talk about getting excited about a new doll. My sisters and I don't share this hobby, but they have come to understand that this is something that gives me pleasure and because I like dolls they tolerate my interest. Sometime they even help me with different aspects of dressing my dolls (one is a leather crafter).
      So I guess the bottom line is that I can go with BJDs either way - alone or with friends. It's more fun with dolly friends, but not having dolly friends would not keep me from enjoying this hobby.
       
    3. Most of my friends think my dolls are creepy, and honestly I've heard it so often I don't care or even respond when someone makes a comment like that. If people don't like my dolls, well, they're for me anyway. :)
      Obviously I like having people I can talk to about my experiences with this hobby. I wish I had more IRL BJD friends.
      Taking them out in public? Eh. It depends on what environment I am in. I've heard a lot of horror stories and as crazy as people are, I'd rather not just take them out on the streets. I'm certainly less inclined to pay attention to what random people around me are doing when I am at a meetup though.

      I don't think people should be worrying about whether their dolls are liked though, to me that is a sign a person is insecure in general.
       
    4. Same with me, I don't really care with other people opinion. I have my dolls not to satisfy other people. But I can't bring out often because some people cannot take their hands off from the face T_T and children always pay attention to it. My family don't have any problem with my hobby, in fact, they love my dolls. But some other people are, not all of my friends like this hobby because it's too expensive.
      Still for me, I don't really care about price and people opinions, because I love them.
       
    5. I suffered from caring to much at first in this hobby and I toughened up after some rude critique'. Now peoples opinions in real life or on the internet about my dolls don't phase me. Their my dolls after all.

      I don't have many bjd collecting friends but the one I do have seems nice. I'd take what she had to say and at least listen.

      I wouldn't take them into public without first going alone, I'd want to see what their like before bringing my dolls. An example is my work every one wants me to bring my doll, but I'd never take them to someplace with food to many doll dangers with soy sauce...
       
    6. Oh, the OP made me laugh so hard...because I just don't care. I actually seem to be far less sensitive about my dolls than about other things. Sure, I'm eager to make friends in this hobby. Sure, I love hearing praise...but that's not why I collect.
       
    7. I can honestly say that I fall into the category of people who will take a doll out just to carry them around, but that's mostly just because I enjoy having my dolls around. Most of the trips out are usually to find items for them at the antique mall or craft store, but there have been times where I just carted them around for the hell of it.

      That aside, I really don't care about whether or not someone likes my doll or understands my hobby. Granted, I do live with my best friend who is also in the hobby, so I suppose I should amend that to she's the only one I care about. But, the rest of the world? No. This is my hobby, they are my dolls, and, at the end of the day, if I love them and love what I do with them, that's the most important.

      If I cared, then I would keep it hidden. I wouldn't try to update my family about it or take them into public. I mention family mostly because none of them "get" it, and they think it's weird/creepy to be my age and so into dolls. They also find the dolls creepy. But, once again, who cares? It's my money, and it's my hobby. :)
       
    8. Im with you on this one.
      I think many people is too sensitive about this stuff. Drives me crazy :D

      "My friends think my dolls are weird ._."
      W
      ell, since they clearly don't share the hobby - talk about something else when you're with them. They might find dolls really boring, find something that all of you can enjoy at the same time. You can talk about dolls att meetups/internet/with doll friends.

      "People stare at me when Im out with my doll ._."
      Yeah, maybe because you're a grown person carrying a doll around. That's a bit unusual, of course they look! Leave the doll at home if you're uncomfortable with that.

      "People think my boy doll is a girl ._."
      Well, since you dress him up in dresses and long haired wigs, of course people will think so, especially if they're not in to the hobby. It's not like they want to be mean.
       
    9. I lived in Chicago where the bjd community was much more active and....(searching for the right word) welcoming? When I first got to my new state I tried like a dickens to meet the bjd community and was very off-put but the lack of interest/lack of community, so I gave up. I don't know how I would have answered this question when I lived in Chicago, but now that I've had both I can say that it was nice having such a strong community that loved what I loved and shared that love with each other. Meet ups were nice, the peoples responses to my dolls were nice, and the people themselves were nice.

      Now that I'm on my own I still share with the people on DoA and the friends I made on DoA. Ultimately I love what I love. It's annoying that the bjd community is not very close knit here, but ultimately it's my hobby, I don't need them.

      I have no problem taking my dolls out in public. I get amused if someone thinks they're creepy. I get annoyed if someone is rude (but that's about anything) And I love sharing the things I love with people who are inquisitive and respectful.
       
    10. This is a good topic! I've been in this hobby actively for almost 4 years, at the first 2 i was so nerous about what my fellow BJD hobbyst thinks about my dolls. How many dolls do i have, or how soon i bought them, how many more will i buy, ect. After i started learn slowly that no matter what i do and how do i do it there will be always someone who don't accept what i do. So now i don't really care what others think and to be honest, i feel much better now. :)

      About the public reaction, i never really cared about it at all; i've got many mixed reactions from strangers, but i think that's kind of a "normal" thing. :sweat
       
    11. I don't care much, too :sweat I've always been doing things that a "normal" sociaty member shouldn't do, and if someone comes and tells something about my dolls, well, it's just one more reaction. Anyway, it helps to kinda sort out the people. Those who are more like me and those whom I should better avoid :lol:
       
    12. I don't care about anything either; I don't care what others think of my doll because my doll is the way he is to make me happy, I don't have any "dolly friends" near me and don't mind it, and I don't go to meets. If peopling my doll, then thank you, I appreciate the compliment and I'm happy you find him as cute as I do.^^ I'd not, then that's your opinion, and I understand that not everyone has similar tastes or likes dolls. ^^ I'm perfectly fine just enjoying the hobby as I do now; I don't need to go to meetups or have doll friends or anything to be happy. Sometimes I occasionally meet a doll owner when I'm out, and we talk a bit, and I don't mind, but that's about it. ^^

      However I do take my doll with me out, but that's just because I personally like having him with me to keep me company and I am a photograhy nut so I always take photos of him. I already unfortunately attract attention to myself because of what I wear, so adding a doll to the mix won't add much.
       
    13. Yeah, I don't care too much either. If I'm doing an impromptu photo and I happen to be carrying one of my smaller dolls or any other toys I'll just pull it out and take the picture then put it away. My friends are pretty used to this, and I point out their offkilter quirks if they point out mine. XD

      My more sensitive friends would never see my bigger girls just because I'd be specifically doing a shoot solo if I'm taking them out of the house - there's no point in dragging someone else along who's not interested.

      I have one friend who got me into this entire hobby, and we'll chat about it when we meet up but everyone I know has a myriad of interests including myself, so it's not as though dolls are the only thing I'm capable of conversing about. So yeah, I don't really understand much of the emotional turmoil either.
       
    14. I'm in the firmly Don't Care What Strangers Think crowd... but then, I am fortunate enough to inhabit a sorta megalomaniac mindset. Everybody else is wrong, which really keeps life simple.

      Not caring what people think also gets easier with age, much much easier. We have lots of young minds on this forum who are still fumbling out their niche in the universe, which is why all the approval-seeker threads lately. Once you've spent a lot of years burning energy trying to please others, you eventually get fed up, and then you start taking less crap in general, and this really sets you free. It lets you keep more of your energies for yourself & the things you really want to do.

      My non-doll friends are freaks too, so they can't seriously bother calling my hobbies weird without knowing that they're just calling the kettle black. ^^ Another benefit of getting old is you learn to choose your company better, and don't waste time maintaining precarious friendships with people who make you feel bad about yourself.... solid friends who understand you, to whom you never have to explain yourself, take a lot less energy to maintain. And are just more fun.
       
    15. The only person whose approval I seek for my dolly-purchases- not the dolls themselves, but the purchasing of them- is my boyfriend. And the reason for this is financial stability.

      Other than that, I don't care what anyone else thinks. I adore my dolls, and if I didn't I wouldn't invest the time or effort into them that I have. I don't appreciate when people make nasty comments about them, but it doesn't really bother me- I get a little snide towards them for being nasty, and that's the extent of it. I guess in my mind, it's something that everyone enjoys in their own way.

      After all. Remember, some people out there enjoy being the centre of attention and will pretend to have an issue with anything- and I'm talking about people both in and out of the hobby.
       
    16. I don't care about what people think or say, nor will I allow it to hurt my feelings. I worked hard to buy the things I enjoy, be it more body art or dolls, or more crafting things. If people don't like it, they can leave.

      I don't have any dolly friends. Though, that doesn't stop me from enjoying the hobby. The two friends I have don't mind my doll, and maybe one day they will take the plunge into the hobby. :3

      And to not sound like a loner, I am nearing 30...quality of friends is more important then quantity.
       
    17. I'm about to put my first on-topic doll on layaway and have several off topic dolls. So far my friends are slightly amused but not mean. My boyfriend likes to help with practical things - how to make tables, giving me his soldering iron to solder steampunk gears, which glues work on what... and even says if a doll is pretty or a new dress I am making is pretty, so I like that, but he isn't actually interested in dolls, just in me and likes to help.

      I find myself slightly less social because I am spending time on a hobby that I don't share with anyone else, and I need time for that.

      But in general, I don't care what anyone else thinks....

      I like JennyNemesis's thoughts on everyone else is wrong anyway

      I think as you get older, you tend to care less about what other people think, I am more comfortable at my age now (37) than I ever was when I was younger, but I remember caring way too much about what others think, so for those of you who do care and who get hurt by others, it will pass! *promise*
       
    18. In the end, I will do what makes ME happy.

      That being said, it DOES hurt my feelings when 'friends' say hurtful things about my doll or hobby. It's fine that they hate them or think they're ugly or weird or whatever, but after the thirtieth time hearing it, it becomes spiteful and I start to question their motives.
      When it comes down to it, they are insulting something that THEY KNOW I care about deeply and that brings me happiness. I'm not shoving it down their throat, so why are they being a dick about it? I mean, I don't mope over it or anything, but it pisses me off a bit.

      So to answer the question: YES I care, but ultimately I am going to enjoy my hobby however I want.:aheartbea
       
    19. Hopefully you have found better friends then those. No one should ever be subjected to that sort of behavior. (It can also be a mild form of abuse as well.) It doesn't pay to be around them either. Tearing down others is considered destructive behavior, and a sign of mental illness.

      Good on you though for having the mindset to not take it to heart what they say. Afterall, it is your life, your hobby, and you are entitled to enjoy it however you please. :3

      I also think being a crazy doll owner is better then being a crazy cat lady...lol

       
    20. When I was much younger, like "too old" for dolls but still crazy about them, I was really embarassed about my hobby. Kids are cruel, and at 12, there are few things worse than inviting the"popular" girls over and having one of them peek in your closet at your huge hidden collection when you aren't looking...then having the whole school making fun of you on Monday for being a "baby" with "no real friends"......

      but those days are FAR behind me.

      Now, I'm an adult, in the real world, with REAL friends, not fake people that pretend to be my friend just to blackmail mail me later. I enjoy my dolls. I like modding, painting, sewing for themn, shopping for them, photographing, writing, role playing, etc with them. Do some of my friends find it weird? more than likely. but I really don't CARE. I spent my preteen and teen years hiding who I was and doing things I didn't enjoy to "fit in". I'm so over it. What's the point in living MY life for somebody else? Sure, I get a few weird looks or comments in public, but more often than not, I get more compliments than rudeness.

      As for planning my dolls to please othe people...again, no. I DO enjoy having my dolls complimented and made over, but only when somebody sees the same beauty in them that -I- did first. I wouldn't buy a doll just because it was popular or commission a faceup just because the artist is in demand and it might make other DoA members jealous or envious. If the whole community loves my doll, great! and if I'm the only one that likes him....I don't care.

      I really don't need others' approval, especially when that means sacrificing my OWN approval.