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The relationship's over: Who gets the dolls?

Feb 20, 2010

    1. I've found that I can get really possessive of my characters (and therefore my dolls) so joint-ownership isn't something I can really see happening in my future. But who knows, people change, right?
      As for gifts, I agree with the people who say that once the item has been gifted it belongs to the person it was given to. In giving someone a gift, you're giving up your ownership to the other person imo. I don't know don't know how I'd feel about a gift doll after a bad break up though...I have some stuff from an ex that I've put in a box that will probably never be opened again (after offering to return them with no response), just because of the bad memories associated with the guy.
       
    2. Ha, I'm really struggling with this situation right now! I helped my ex-boyfriend buy his doll 3 years ago, he lost interest and sort of left it at my house indefinitely, and he never came to claim it when we broke up over a year ago. I'm really attached to the doll, but feel weird having it around since it was "his." Would it be wrong of me to sell it? I'm pretty darn sure he doesn't want it back :/ I've tried to come up with a new character to suit the doll and make it my own, but I'm so used to it being the character my ex created, that I haven't had much luck with that.
       

    3. Quite frankly, I'd sell it and put the money towards a new doll or bills. buuut I'll be growled at for not being honest, so I would suggest you ask him if he wants it- like, through text message, facebook, mutual friends or whatever- if he doesn't want it or never responds, THEN sell it. If he wants it, tell him he has a week to pick it up before you sell it 8D

      >: shame you can't just bond with it, though- I kept a lot of characters from me ex :3
       
    4. As much as I hate to think about it, if the worst happened my dolls would stay with me. My husband hates them anyway and I don't think he could even be bothered to sell them. Even the two he bought for me, I doubt he'd think twice about me taking them. I keep my dolls, he keeps his XBox. :P
       
    5. Very difficult situation and could get reallllly messy. If there is anything friendly 'left' in the relationship, maybe you could each do the pick deal... you pick one. I pick one.
      If nasty... and you are going to need legal assistance which will be expensive, depending on how badly you want this person out of your life... take the ones you like best, put them somewhere and leave her the rest. But, try to be very fair about it.
      Getting into the sharing business with anybody is risky, at best. I am doing it with one person but I paid for the doll. She is doing the faceup, costuming, wigging, eyes, photography and I do consider all of those factors are worth half of what I put in. The doll will go to ebay and we will split whatever we get... no bad feelings involved. Not worth losing the friendship. Just my 2 cents.
       
    6. I'm a very possessive collector and I would never share any of my hobby-related belongings with a partner beyond tools etc. so I hopefully would never end up in this sort of situation! My dolls are all going to be based on my own original characters with their own universes, so it would be weird to co-own them with somebody, or for someone else to have their own characters fitting into the same world so I can't see myself sharing in any way.

      With regards to gifts, I think if you give somebody something then it's theirs - no strings attached. So I wouldn't return a gift doll, nor would I expect someone to return one to me (and if the relationship had gone particularly sour, I think it would be fine to sell the doll providing there was no prior agreement between both individuals with regards to this).
       
    7. I've been in this situation. It wasn't a good one as we had both put money into each others dolls. In the end it was a horrible mess and one i will NEVER go through again. If I am going to put money into another person's doll, it's going to be either as a gift to them or in trade for something else. Thankfully my fiance is not interested in my dolls so I have no worries about the situation recurring. My best advice to anyone thinking of going halfsies on a doll with your BFF or your significant other.... Don't!!
       
    8. If you can, see if you can ask a mutual friend. A lot of people don't like to be contacted by their exes, and if that can be avoided, then it's usually all the better. You know the situation better than the rest of us, so your judgment is best of course.

      If having the doll gives you any sort of ill feeling or bad memories, by all means don't fell bad about selling it.
       
    9. well my partner and I both have dolls, he has never purchased any of his I gave them all to him and he is nowhere near as committed to the hobby as I am. If we broke up there would be no question over what happens to MY dolls, they are MINE even if some of them were birthday and christmas gifts. His dolls make me wonder though, would he actually keep them? would he pack them in a box somewhere and never think of them again? would he leave them behind? or gods would he ask me to sell them for him? (since he never gets on DoA and would not know current asking prices for them) Personally I would be happiest if he kept them and loved them even if we broke up, but somehow I suspect that would not be the way of it
       
    10. Interesting question for sure. I am married and my husband has 11 dolls and I only have 3 - soon to be 1. We paid for them mostly before we got married, but his are the ones he loves, though I play with them, and mine are the ones I love. So ours would not ever be a problem anyway.

      I guess most ppl would not go joint unless they loved that person enough to not imagine breaking up. I would think it would help keep you together too, so I cant even imagine separating..... but I guess ppl do.....

      I guess I would suggest a switching back and forth and then - though it would cost more - buying the same sculpt when it comes up for sale, so both could have one - and send it to the same faceup artist if that matter. Of course if the relationship was sour I would suggest a contract outlining the plan.

      Kinda sorta similar situation - at my old barn, a black pony was co-owned between two trainers, one of the the owner of the barn. They had a great relationship. The other trainer left and took the pony, and left behind another black pony. It did not satisfy the owners daughters, as this pony was not as talented at competition.... but they decided to not pursue legal action as the trainer went to Kansas...... Co-ownership is way to sticky.
       
    11. Lol, my feelings exactly. My husband has no idea how much my dolls cost, and I'm not telling him. ;) Luckily, he has no interest in dolls. I do own a non-bjd with my sister, and she has it at her house at the moment, but if I want it for a while, I can have it. It's an art doll and was kind of pricey, so we bought it together. Fortunately, I am unlikely to break up with my sister.
       
    12. If my significant other also collected dolls, I would want to integrate our collection, but not go into any joint-custody dolls. If I gave him or her some money to buy their doll, then it's a no-strings attached gift.

      Going 50/50 on a doll... I don't know. I don't think I'd do that, just because of the conflicts that can come up with that. I've sworn I was going to be with so-n-so for the rest of my life, fell in love and wanted to get married with a guy once, and it ended up not working out. He moved far away and I stayed where I'm at, and if we had had a shared interest in the doll hobby, I'd hate to deal with both the break-up and giving up something I'd become attached to.

      If I ever did go 50/50 on a doll, I'd make it a gift instead of "I have stakes to part of this doll, too."
       
    13. I have helped my girlfriend purchase both of her dolls, and she has offered to do the same for some of my future dolls, but honestly there is no question about whose dolls are whose. I helped her get Fawkes and Loren, not to get a share of the doll because I wanted her to get them because they'd make her happy. I don't think I could own a doll jointly, if only because it would be awkward. I like having my things.
       
    14. ...I can't even imagine joint ownership of a doll, they seem so personal to me because you put so much of your imagination and heart into them. My bf has zero interest in owning a doll and they're all 100% mine, so now issues here.

      We do, however, split a lot of our games, DVDs, and CDs. I never thought about what would happen if we should suddenly break up. After 6 years together I'm not all that worried about it, but... I guess you'd have to split things up as evenly as you could? :/
       
    15. This is why I don't share ownership with anybody--it can lead to really difficult situations later. I would think going through doll by doll and figuring out which human is most bonded to what doll, but that's a really tough one.
       
    16. Considering that my boyfriend and I had a hard enough time deciding what to do with the DVD that a friend gave us jointly for Christmas, I just don't see us going in on any major purchases together any time soon. It was actually kind of funny watching us try to decide what to do with it. We ended up feeling kind of frustrated with our friend for putting us in the situation in the first place.
       
    17. I don't think I could ever bring myself to go halves on a doll...I'm far too posessive and wouldn't want to share!! Closest I ever came was discussing Too and Bee-A off DoD with my now-ex and having one each...never happened though as he was USELESS with money!

      I'm just pleased I didn't give in and buy him Ducan for his birthday!

      In your (potential!) situation though, with split dolls...maybe split them evenly and work out if anyone owes the other money? Iunno, depends on how amiable the split is I guess!
       
    18. I would never go in with someone else on a doll for fear of this very thing.

      But if it ever did happen, i think i would just want to reinburse the other for what they paid.

      I've gotten dolls as gifts from an ex before, but they were still mine so I still have them to this day and just forget they were from him tbh. I love my dolls because they are my babies and not the douche that gave me them x3
       
    19. I'm to greedy to share a doll with someone. (Before Lestat had even been officially mine I was thinking of him as mine and even mentioned at the A-Kon doll meet that year that I had one coming, even though anyone could have walked up to the booth and bought him while I could only helplessly watch. Wasn't till near a month later he was actually mine) So yeah. Something is mine then its mine, no matter what it is.

      For the sake of the question though, if it were to happen that I shared a doll with someone I was in any sort of relationship in, be it friend, love, whatever, and there was a split, it would depend on the doll. If I found it excessively beautiful or I was extremely attached I could see myself going so far as to attempting to take them to court for the doll, if they wouldn't willingly give it to me. That sounds a little crazy I'm sure but, hay, we all have things that we'd go to court over. ^^;; And its a hypothetical situation here! If I was not so attached, I might let them have it, depending on how the relationship ended. (if it ended badly I'd try to take them all >.> revenge anyone? XD) So yeah
       
    20. My bf and I both collect dolls. I own my own and so does he. Though some of my dolls actually came from him since I do not make as much as he does. I'm not sure what would happen if we split up.