The relationship's over: Who gets the dolls?

One of life's lessons learned, after Boyfriend #1 and the Great Shared-Comix-Collection Debacle of 1991: Communal property just never works. Always keep separate possessions, no matter how much you both love the same things.

There was much acrimony & tears spilled, when it came time to decide who got to carry off which chunks of which titles... Who gets all of the Love & Rockets anthologies, and who gets to take all of the individual issues? Or should we divide them by who liked which story arcs best?... Who gets to take the first series of Doom Patrol, and should it definitely be kept together with the second series, or can we each take one??... Oh GOD, messy. But when it came to the super-hyper-extra-coveted Sandman #8, we were thankful that we'd each bought our own individual copies when it came out. Otherwise, we might've taken each other apart at the joints fighting over that 1 single issue, and I might not be here to tell you this charming cautionary tale.

I can't even imagine WHAT we'd've been like if the objects of contention had been high-end dolls instead of comics... for some reason, American Gladiators springs to mind...

 

Legally speaking, wouldn't whoever bought the dolls get ownership of them?

Two collectors enter, one collector leaves!

 

You know, it's actually depressing that this is something so prevalent on the mind of those who are married. I've always felt that you should never enter a marriage (or any sort of committed partnership) planning for when it will end. Because once you start thinking along those lines, you're more willing to give up and move on, instead of working at the relationship. But, that's just my personal opinion.

Objectively, in this sort of situation, I actually have a genuine mathematical answer. At one of the (several) colleges I attended, there was an entire chapter in the math text concerning inheritance and fair division of properties. You'll need an arbitrator/neutral party, but it would work like this:

Both A and B are given a set amount of imaginary funds. Each person writes down the monetary value that they would place on each item, how much they'd honestly be willing to part with in order to purchase it themselves. They're not allowed to go over their allotted imaginary funds. Person A does NOT show/share the information with Person B, and vice-versa. The arbitrator then takes the two lists and, with some formulas that I don't honestly have (though it can be figured out without them--just with a bit more time and thought involved), does a bit of juggling until each person gets an equal (more or less) personal value's worth of dolls/doll stuff.

However, this only works if both parties are willing to abide by what the arbitrator decides. Of course, they could always trade off items if they're both agreeable.

 

That's an interesting one. My ex and I were both into these dolls. I got my first doll and he treated the doll like our "son." Well the doll was mine to begin with so he stayed with me. I figure if you come into the relationship with dolls they are yours. Even if you say, "Oh we have joint custody."

However, if you both joint-invested in them, it can get tricky there. There are some states that it's a 50-50 split. There are others that are not like that. I guess the same case could go in just a non-married relationship. 50-50 split. However, you could say, who ever chipped in more for the doll gets to keep it? 0.o I don't really know, since I haven't actually shared my property with anyone.

 

Hmn.. I hate to think of having to split my dolls and I know my Fiancee loves her resin-kids and feels the same about hers as i do mine, but we do have a couple that are Jointly Owned, and have a few more in the works that we both work to invest and buy.
Knowing me as much as I'd love them I'd probably let her have pick of a select few as long as x,y, and z were left alone type thing. Or We'd end up being really weird have have some akward visitation dolly thing set up ^^;; one person's house for 6mo. and whatnot.. Although depending on the people and situation THAT can be very dicey.

Dx I hope it never happens.. but it's a unsettling thought

 

My girlfriend and i were already together when we started getting dolls, but they have always been seperate, my dolls are mine and hers are hers. but a couple we have bought as a gift to each other . they are still my dolls or hers but if it ended i dont know how we would handle the gift dolls

 

Huurrr Sai |D if we ever break up, I'm only taking my dolls... the ones bought together are yours unless you gifted them to me :3 silly.

 

My boyfriend is going to be buy me my next doll, well most of it. Just the basic head and body, I'm going to pay for the face up, wig, clothes, etc. We have been together for over a year... and the doll is a gift. Just in case anything happened he always stated he wants to be friends, so I am sure he would let me keep it. Anyways, I dont like think about this. I love that boy!

 

In my relationship I have my hobbies and he has his, however the big problem would be the emotional investment each of us put in.. I dont think I would be able to go through a difficult breakup and be able to look at my doll every day when it still reminded me of him. This is one of the reasons I am trying to sell certain dolls atm, they still have that little link to an ex even though we stayed friends, its just uncomfortable

 

oh god this never crossed my mind i think for future reference im never gonna share custody of my dolls with anyone what a sticky situation cant you trade off and see them on weekends?

 

what about putting number in a bag and whichever takes it, takes it...

 

I would just keep dolls seperate property all the time, just like pets. maybe a simple rule like who pays it gets it; ofcourse it's never that simple but it's better than seeing your doll ever other week or splitting them head body or smth >_<

 

Epic question! I would not know. But my girl would probably want money more then the dolls...that just the type of girls she is.

 

My last boyfriend actually got into the hobby because of me, however, we never bought any dolls together and I'm happy we didn't. I don't think it would have been a problem with him to decide who gets which doll, to be honest, but what's mine is mine. Might sound a little harsh, but I don't like to share. I looove to make gifts to people I care about and I'd never want to have any of them back, but with my own stuff, that's a different story.

I would also never ever allow my significant other to buy a doll for me. Small gifts are fine, but I have trouble accepting bigger things. I'd always feel it's not really mine (weird, I know .. I just like to pay for my own stuff.) and with dolls being so expensive I'd kinda feel like a bought woman. No, thank you.

 

unless the girl was into dolls I highly doubt I would ever actually tell her so she wouldn't know

 

That is actually really hard. For me, now this isn't really advice or me speaking from experience, Im just stating what I think I would do. If I were in that kind of situation, it would depend on the nature of the break-up. If it was a bitter one (like the other half has been unfaithful, God forbid), then I think I would feel pretty scornful (pathetic right?) and want all of them. Whether I would get them is another matter, but I am too pety for diplomacy or negotiation XD. But, if it was an emotional split and I was in a state of retreat (i.e sat in my room with a tub of haagen das chocolate ice cream), then I would just hand them all over. But if the feelings and opinions were mutual, and both parties felt as though it were the best thing to do, then a 50/50 split would do ^_^.
But like I said, I have no experience in this field. So feel free to ignore me XD

 

well,...i guess i knew this might happen so i had a back up plan 12 years ago....

I pretend to collect rare comics and Anime goods together ( i get them at the best price but never told him ), Now i buy all the dolls. So when that time comes, i can make a deal and let my husband keeps all the Comics and Anime Goods and i get the dolls....I know he will say yes as he loves the Stuff and hates my dolls. All the better for me.

Now, the kids i can't do much about...joint custody i will be fine with.

 

I have always wondered if this would become an issue for me (I share custody of our current doll family with my co-writer). So far I doubt there would be an issue if things hit the fan, as each of us would take the dolls of the characters we roleplay, but with some of the ways we've discussed splitting purchases I suppose there might be problems.
I think in that situation I would prefer to sell the doll that we'd argue over, no matter how much I like it. If I kept it I feel like there would be a lot of bad feelings associated with it, and I wouldn't appreciate the doll as much as I had before. And if she kept it, I'd feel more resentment towards her.

That's my opinion, anyway.

 

I am so glad I don't have to worry about that with my dolls. My BF is NOT into them.

Video games are a different story

 

I am lucky my hubbie doesnt care that I collect and suports me but he doesnt love them like me. But I got to say we never leave each other! lol