"Waste of Money?"

I hear it all the time from my sister. It's quite annoying. I really wish she'd just mind her own business already. It's not like I'm taking any money from her or anything. It's all MY money, MY hard earned cash so I can do whatever I want with it.

Honestly, I get quite annoyed when I hear that sort of comment. Especially when I don't make it a point to talk about my hobby with her. Like at all. But we'd be shopping and I'd hesitate on a purchase, and she would say, "Yeah, you know if you didn't waste your money on DOLLS, you could afford this."

:\ She spends a lot of money on clothes, on bags, on shoes, on her own hobbies and I don't comment on it and I respect her choice to do whatever she wants so I don't understand why she needs to make it her business, really.

It's simple. It's not a waste of money if it's what you want. And we're all different people. We all like different things. It's hard to understand another person's spending habits. Don't try to and don't judge them for it either.

 

Hey out there --- don't forget the classic definition of a "hobby" - ANY hobby:

A huge deep, black hole into which you pour all of your money

 

well this is the only hobby i have, aside from botanical research. So nobody ever says anything to me. My husband only lately commented : Is good to see you doing something you like ^^ oh i think i like your xanthe better (just cos he reminds him of sephiroth :P)

 

Anybody who doesn't have a particular hobby will think that it's a waste of money. For example, I cannot even CONCEIVE of wasting $75 on having somebody pour hot molten wax on your most sensitive Happy Place and rip it off again-- but my younger sister loves to go to fancy day-spas, regularly, for that exact sort of money-wasting treatment. (Just to fit hairlessly into that $150 waste-of-money swimsuit!) And then you go get spanked by terrifying Russian women with birch-branches, and then you get your skin flayed off with rock salt, and then they charge you another $95. And then you get your eyebrows threaded, which is a bloodthirsty Persian beauty ritual of getting each eyebrow-hair snarled up in an elastic or thread on purpose until it's ripped out, hair by hair, and you waste another $55 on that. And you start to wonder where spa-customers get off thinking that people who're into S&M are weird. Many reputable dungeons charge more reasonable prices, for abuse that's just as professional and coldblooded, than J.Sisters spa in New York. Oh, the humanity.

Different perspectives and rarely the twain shall meet; both sides seem to say "I'm OK, you're eccentric".

 

I haven't had my family get after me about it, thank God, but a lot of my friends find dolls creepy and ask me why I'm going to 'waste money' on Noire. As a lot of people have said already, if it makes you happy and you're not going into total debt, why is it a waste? Being an artist, it'll also be a great opportunity for that side to shine through me as well.

There are a lot worse things to spend money on...

 

Basically I get around the entire issue by never telling people what the dolls cost. It's none of their business anyway & if pushed, I just say, "They aren't cheap." I feel no need to broadcast to the world what my personal items cost unless of course if I get a great deal on something non-doll related that I know a friend is also looking for. (And that's only if there're more left.)

 

It'd be easy to blow off such comments if it were made by a friend or random person, but I understand that having family/loved ones say something like that can be demoralizing! Thankfully, I haven't had any family who've made such a comment to me -- in fact, the parents love my dolls (my sister thinks they're creepy though!).

It's wonderful that your mother is getting you your first doll, even though she doesn't like them! But if she still can't get over the "waste of money" mindset... Make yourself irreproachable. Part of the reason I think people say such things, is that they're afraid of the ramifications of spending so much money on an unconventional hobby that they're not familiar with -- and in the Western world, grown-ups playing with dolls is definitely not conventional. Luxury cars, clothes, cruises, etc, are "conventional" and familiar so there's less anxiety and more acceptance about them.

As odd as it may sound, maybe it's fear or wariness of the unfamiliar that's causing your mother to say such things? Then show her that your hobby is nothing to fear, that it's constructive and positive. The money part is obviously a big issue, so why not buy/make BJD stuff with your own money and resources, show that you're deriving healthy pleasure from dollies without negative issues (ie. getting into debt, etc). That way she cannot accuse you of "wasting money" when she's at all not involved in your hobby, and you're obviously having fun and being responsible with it!

Give the naysayers NO reason to beat down your involvement in BJDs, that's what I say!

 

Considering that the dolls don't seem to depreciate much.. is it really a "waste"? o.O
-Pere

 

In my opinion, I earned my money, or I saved my money. If my parents or my lover don't mind how I paid my own mondy, then I won't care anyone else's opinion.
It is just how you spend your money.
If you spend your money on dolls, buy dolls, buy clothers for them, buy chairs, sofas desks or even house, that would based on how rich you are.

If you can buy limited LV bages which over 1000 UK pound every month, then dolls are not that expensive thing for you.
Or if you've saving money months or evern years and final got your dreaming doll, other people can not understanding your happiness about your dream comes true. But they just saw, oh, it costed you over XXX pounds!!

That's not my business how other people think about.

But while it is your parents said about "waste of money", just try to understand in their way. You can explain how you feel about dolls, and I believe your parents will understand your happiness on dolls!!!

PS, if children just waste your parents' money, then don't use the money on doll without your parents agreements... That's really bad thing.

 

Ok funny anecdote:

One of my husbands partners has a litte 8 y.o. girl who has a thing for American girl dolls. They're well off, so she's been indulged. He was shopping for Christmas gifts the other day and grumbling about the prices of various things, like "$80 for bed?! $30 for an outfit?!?" My husband just smothered his chuckles at the time, but he made me swear not to mention my doll hobby at the company holiday party. Nevermind he gave me a $700 doll this year . . . :P

When I think about all the things I've wasted money on in my life (anime, manga, paperbacks, daily mochas, etc.), the dolls have more potential for long term entertainment, distraction, and satisfaction than just about anything else. They certainly make more sense to me than things like alcohol, cigarettes, sports memorabilia, or a host of other things that just collect dust in display cases.

To each his own, I guess.

 

We all have the things that make us happy. Yours happens to be, at the moment a doll. We all spend money on different things be it a car, a holiday, or some hobby or other.
Don't let it get to you...point out that this is what you what to spend your money on and it will give you pleasure.
Hope you feel better about it.

 

A few people I know think it's a waste of money. Lol. My dad thinks it's a waste of money. Yet over the years he's spend who knows how much on cigarettes and beer. I'm sure all that money he's wasted on that is quite a bit of money to this day. Though it may not seem like a lot day by day when you do it. All together, it's probably a significant amount. Now, that is a waste of money. My mom thinks their a waste of money too. Yet my mom wants new furniture all the time. I could understand when she bough new couches as ours were old, and pretty messed up. But she threw out a perfectly good recliner. Waste of money right there. Bought a new flat screen TV, for like $300 or something. What's wrong with a TV that isn't flat screen and doesn't cost so much. Waste of money. Though I haven't seen many TVs that aren't flat screen around these days. Lol. And my one sister thinks it's a waste of money. Yet she has like a million mangas that just sit around. Not that collecting manga is anything bad and a waste of money (I have manga, though, not as many as her). But she spends a lot of her money on something that other people would consider a waste. And she is telling me what I spend my money on is a waste. Another thing! My dad helped her buy a keyboard 'cause she wants to learn how to play the piano or whatever. Yet she only used it for like a week or so! She doesn't live with use anymore, but I doubt she is using it any time she has any free time. Waste of money. She passed up my dad helping her with a new comp, for something she barely uses. Yeeaah. Smart.

I mean, in the end. Everyone is gonna think something someone else uses their money for is a waste. So I just ignore what people say. And try not to tell people that something they use their money for is a waste. 'Cause they'd probably just do the same with my dolls. So I just ignore it, 'cause they're probably gonna say the same thing for as long as they can.

 

This.

If I had back the money I really DID waste on that particular habit -- and we're talking 25 years now since I stopped it -- I really could have purchased all this resin I have around me without blinking. THAT's a waste of money. No other way to categorize it.

Dolls can be sold to reclaim at least part of their purchase price, if you like. Cigarettes can't, and you can't reclaim your original health no matter how hard you try. So. Ya.

 

Exactly this. I try to never address this cost issue because, like you say, it's no one's business. I pay for my dolls and how much I pay is between me and the seller/company. Now, I understand if you're underage and buying dolls, your parents are going to know how much you paid, but anyone else has no right to demand to know the cost. They just don't. And I'm not at all shy about telling someone that it's none of their business, although I do try to be nice about it

Some of my coworkers know how much I've paid because I've shown them pictures of dolls on company websites. I don't know if maybe the amount just didn't sink in or if they didn't realize that yes, they're looking at the amount in USD, but nothing other than "They're pricey, huh?" has ever been said. I do have one customer (a semi-truck driver, of all people) who is familiar with them from an NPR show he listened to and has always been full of questions about my dolls and he asks about them...it's kinda cute. He's got a pretty good idea how much I've paid, but he's always respectful about it.

Family has been nothing but supportive of my doll habits over the years, but then they have no idea how much I've paid, either.

 

It's quite simple. I buy and pay for my own dolls and don't discuss them or their cost with other people, or at least other people who don't accept that I buy dolls. Therefore, the subject never comes up.

I am pretty sure that if I showed my mom a price tag for one of these dolls when I was living at home as a teenager she would have flipped her lid because we didn't have a lot of money. I am also pretty sure that most parents will flip their lid at anything their kid wants that is very expensive, is not something like college tuition, and does not parallel one of the parent's own interests.

Same here, and since I'm not asking them to chip in or give me doll stuff as gifts, it's none of their business.

 

You know I actually used to be the one who thought they were a waste of money. I guess I was always interested in them but when I saw the price my friend was paying I just couldnt see why. It took my falling in love with a face of my own before the price tag just sorted of faded out of focus. But it was funny because I would drop $80 on an online game in one day to open a lucky box or two at the chance of getting crap. But I didnt see the price because it was fun. I think unless someone really understands and feels the love for the same thing they will always see something like that as a waste. You can bet whatever crazy thing they love isnt a waste to them though. But hey...sometimes you get people who do understand and just over look the price of what makes you happy, because really...you cant put a price on something that gives you happiness ♥

 

Wise words indeed!!

We do as much, we eat as much, we want as much...

I might be a little different to all of you because I don't really care what people think about my hobbies. I already had enough when most of my friends ask me how I can waste money on books. I mean, there's no better way to enrich our little brains than through books... Yes, it hurts that they can't understand the way I am (a bookworm and a BJD lover, when what they all think about is parties, boyfriends, drinking and the new cell phone or Ipod), but I have learned to respect everyone's tastes and to ignore their insignificant opinions about what I like. In the end, we all are just the same because like beauty, hobbies are in the eye of the beholder.

Also, I never lie how much everything costs, I really the look of when I tell them the truth :P

Very profound philosophical issue: satisfaction in life, is it obtainable. Rarely completely, sometimes partially, most of the time, no. Just do what makes you happy, life is too short to waste our time on other people's opinions about us.

 

Yep, I get the "waste of money" statement directed at me all the time, especially from family. My dad says it, my brother says it, and on occasion my mom will say it -though she does admire my doll (especially when she's clothed, ahaha). They've said that about a lot of my hobbies though -I collect a variety of things, ranging from anime figurines to Re-Ment miniatures -so maybe it's sort of a reaction to my 'fickle' nature. I agree that it's none of their business, but on some level, there's financial concern there, and I acknowledge that. Ultimately, they just want me to save more money, even though they're going about it the wrong way.

 

I think everything I enjoy has been "tsk'ed" as a waste of money, even when people don't necessarily know how much I'm spending! I don't take it to heart. "Wasting" money is a matter of personal opinion; I don't want to debate it with anyone who hasn't realized that yet.

 

I've never heard this myself (I guess I'm lucky in that) about BJDs. My parents never blinked at the price when they paid for half of Hikaru in December of 2005. My mom thinks that BJDs are amazing and my Dad.. I don't know if he notices that Hikaru is around (unless Hikaru's hanging out in the living room watching t.v. ^^). I have a lot of expensive hobbies and strangely enough, BJDs are the one that my family and friends consider to be the most acceptible. Many of my friends find them to be scary, but worth the cost.

Now lolita on the other hand, I hear about that one all the time...