What do you do when you feel disconnected from your doll?

I'm feeling this way right now. There is still something there, mainly attachment to the character to just give up but right now she's in rough condition and it makes me feel sad when I look at her...

Her dye needs a second round to get the color I want(it's been too humid to retry). Her body is in pieces, strung loosely together with string because I'm still waiting for my new elastic and other dolly things in the mail. I can't buy her new clothes, finish buying her face up supplies or really get her anything nice right now(not for a couple months). When I bought her, my financial situation was drastically different. Now things are more "tight ship" around here and dolly things are last on my list of priority(save for an upcoming birthday present, she'll have a head to talk to! ). I know things will change, but for now it's depressing. I feel so guilty and shameful when I look at the pictures of loved dolls on here, finished dolls from an owner who painstakingly painted their adorable little faces and had sewn them elaborate outfits. I want to give my girl that.

I still find myself stopping by her little chair and fixing her wig, straightening her outfit and giving her a little cuddle. I still care about my doll, but it feels very discouraging when you don't see your character yet, only a shell.

Sometimes I think it would have been easier to buy an "already made" doll, but I chose this instead and I still remember why I made that choice. I wouldn't have been happy with a doll already finished, it would look like a stranger to me. I will finish her, she will be beautiful and she will be completely mine.

 

Sometimes I just give it time and then when I go and pick up the boy I'd been feeling a lack of love for, I have a renewed sense of joy in him. It tends to work well when I feel a sense of disconnect with a doll I'd previously had a strong connection for. Because I deal with chronic depression, loss of enjoyment in hobbies is common for me, and other times I might be so focused on something new (be it a doll or a different hobby thing) that I just can't seem to feel the same, but I tell myself it's temporary and that my dolls will wait until I'm ready.

With Pete, I had trouble 'bonding' with him initially because he had some attached feelings of guilt about spending money, and in that instance I just needed to sit down with him and have some good old-fashioned cuddle time, play with his hands and feet and such, and really 'get to know him' to reaffirm my feelings. I knew that he was the right doll for the character, it was just a matter of getting to love him without associating him with the bad feelings, and reminding myself that I was currently doing fine and not in any debt and that there were no more financial worries to put me off of him or anything else.

 

Whenever I feel like that I like to get them new things. When I was thinking of selling Lemon, I made him a bunch new clothes, it convinced me to keep him.

 

normally i either bond with it or not....i found when i dont bound with a doll its probably because they have a physical attribute i really dislike, most times on their body since the face can be changed witha simple face up but the body just...stays that way. so my option is almost always sell it immediately OTL

 

My attachment I have to my dolls are strongly based on the characters they are shells of. When my interests in their characters/personalities dwindle, the experience of 'not bonding' comes. Alternatively if the sculpt doesn't match what I have in mind, I get the feeling my dolls are empty, a face without a personality, and my interest goes with that.

My remedy would be to experience them as characters again. Maybe something in their personality/appearance didn't suit them as well as I thought it would. I spend a lot of time rethinking their character, deciding on what to change, what appeals to me. Get a new wig, a new pair of eyes, or a fresh face-up. I rarely create a character to suit a sculpt, since it's often the other way around (even before the purchase), but I would recommend building a personality out of your dolls that you would be passionate about.

Granted, some do get by without the idea of bonding or a personality for their dolls, but personally it's what they are that motivates me to take photos of them, to sit with them, etc.

Sculpt mismatches, though, usually result in selling. Unless I really like the sculpt, then I just might come up with a character for it.

 

I have an interesting case in that I got a peculiar kind of encephalitis a month ago and when I woke up from my "coma" I at first barely remembered I collected dolls at all. My family brought my YOSD to the hospital and asked me her name, but I couldn't really recall anything about her or what she was except "that has a French name". My answer was Elle. Her name's Rene. This was almost an extreme version of the "blank slate" feeling some people get when they look at one of their dolls and want to sell them, where they can't find a character or name or even remember why they bought it in the first place. It was frustrating, because on one level I knew I would have wanted that doll around more than anything but I couldn't bring myself to care.

When I got home I looked at my dolls and didn't feel any attachment. I could barely remember their characters or names and although I thought they looked cool, I didn't really understand why I had them and even considered selling them because they were so far away from me. Thankfully I decided to postpone that...reading my old character bios for them, holding them, taking pictures of them (looking at old pictures of them, too!) helps exponentially in repairing the "bond". I've even begun complicating and changing their stories a little more, as creating something new for them makes them even more interesting to me. Which is great, because I would have got rid of some really great dolls. I'd give any doll that you feel a disconnect from a second chance--maybe their character or style isn't right. Something new, be it eyes, wig, clothes or a backstory can really work wonders on your perception of a doll--even something as small as carrying it or fiddling with their hands can help.

 

Came to this thread searching to understand what people meant when talking about their dolls and "character," and role playing with the dolls. I've always been very imaginative and in childhood that took the form of believing my dolls were alive. I firmly believed that like in the books I read they moved around and talked in secret. As an adult I still retain some of that magical feeling. I choose my dolls for the character I see in their faces, like meeting someone new that you feel you've known always. With these dolls it's like THEY know how they're supposed to look and you just have to keep at it til the two of you sigh in relief that you got it right!

(Ok so I might be at the far end if a spectrum or two!? Lol)

Kaninchen, I am glad you are recovering from your illness and am sorry to hear you've had to go through it!

 

I get attached waaaaay too easily. I'm currently struggling to sell two old dolls because every time I go to take pictures of them as references I fall in love with them all over again and start to question if I REALLY need to sell them. It's just so fun messing with their poses and combing their hair and fussing over them. But I need the money more so I'm TRYING to repress the urge to just keep them.

 

For me, when I was having problems reattaching to one of my girls, I kept looking at her blank face and seeing an angry look, I'm not kidding, she looked like something was seriously wrong with her, when in previous photographs she looked so happy and cheerful.

Then recently, I started fiddling with her, dressing her up, making her new clothes, and I also re-styled her wig so now she has a cute partial side ponytail that sticks out along with a braid. She finally looks like herself again and looks happy in pictures again. So for me...I think it just means a bit of spoiling.

 

I've had two dolls I couldn't bond with so far. And I had my ideas for them, and got them complete for the most part.
I mean for me, I just kept trying to bond with them, until I realized I just couldn't. And I just didn't like taking pics of them anymore. ; A;
One that was kinda hard for me was my boy, he was a Crobidoll Ys. OMG, I loved his face sooooo much. And I still love his sculpt so bad.
But he was just too big for me, and I found him hard to photograph for some reason (I could take a million pics of my girl and not even realize it).
And at one point he was just there. Not doing anything. So I decided to sell him. And found a doll sculpt similar to Ys that I will reshell his character into.
Then there was my YoSD. She was a LTF DES. I think I just loved her whole look in the promo pics, and I had my idea for her.
But once I put her all together, it just didn't feel right. And I got her two face-ups. She was beautiful, but she just wasn't working for my character.
And I also found her hard to photograph. So I sold her as well, and am reshelling her character into a MNF Celine. Who I really hope works for the character.
And if she doesn't then I'm gonna have to work something else out for her, because she just just too cute. XD;;

 

Ugh, I wish I knew right now. Somebody help me. While I was working on a jacket for my model F, her hand broke in the sleeve. Ever since, I've just felt overwhelmed at the thought of fixing it, or sewing for her, or even taking out some of my other BJDs and doing things with them. This slump has been on me since May.

 

Put it away for a bit, and come back to the doll when you're feeling fresh. Play around, swap eyes, try a different wig, draw a new faceup concept or pick out another costume. Bring your doll to a local meet-up and try out some of the items the other members may bring for sale; it's a good way to test out an idea without spending the money on it outright. Think outside the box when it comes to what you think might work and you could be surprised with what will work!

Barring that, you can always sell the doll or trade it in for a sculpt that better suits your vision. There are always options, so don't let it get you down. There are many, many choices available when it comes to customization and you will eventually find the right combination that just "clicks" for you.

Edit: I forgot to mention, look at pictures of other people's dolls too! Sometimes I'll be scrolling through photos and think, "Wow, that's a concept I never would've thought of. I like it, only I think I'd do it this way..." The community is very creative and can be completely inspiring! I know I've gotten through some rough dollie patches this way.

 

For bonding problems: I change hair, eyes, outfits, names, work on them (tattoos, blushing etc) because working on your doll will get you closer to it. Some are easy to bond with (i.e. I find their perfect style/name/personality right away) and others need more time to find out who they are. It all depends on YOUR willingness to find out or just sell it right away if you don't want to bother.

I usually buy a doll because of its face and when I get the doll I just can't bond with the body, this is why most of my dolls are hybrids :P

 

When I start to feel disconnected from my doll I usually buy them new things, change their appearance and create whole new looks for them. I find going through the creation process and getting new things helps a lot, or even just posing them and thinking of adding to their character or story.