What to answer when people ask about the cost of your doll...?

I suspect this may be a generational thing, but I was always taught as a child that asking the price of something in conversation was just flat-out rude. (Not that it being considered bad manners ever stopped really nosy or really determined people from doing it, of course... they just knew that it wasn't in any way polite, and chose to do it anyway. <_<) That particular bit of social etiquette seems to have gone the way of the dodo bird, though, and so no matter how much my inner Emily Post may still cringe every single time I'm asked, I have come up with an answer as far as the dolls themselves are concerned.

It's mostly a dodge.

See, I still believe that how much any member of my crew cost me is NONE OF THEIR F-ING BUSINESS. Period. Full stop. I just leave it at a general "Like any kind of collector's toys, it varies a lot depending on the sculpt and who made it." No sums are mentioned, no details are given and if they aren't satisfied with that? Too bad. They know where Google is.

 

I think I would be uncomfortable telling people how much a bjd is worth. The few friends that I mentioned my girl that I ordered, I haven't told them any sort of dollar amount.

I would have to agree with bjds as being priceless.

When I did finally tell my boyfriend about my doll, I admit that I softened the blow. I gave him only the amount that the doll was worth, even though I went with the full set. I know that it's my money to spend as I see fit, but when he spends a couple hundred dollars on something, it's usually with the intent to resell. My doll is for keeps, and so I don't think he would see the value in it. At least until she arrives (I hope!).

 

Well, for me it depends on who's asking. I'm usually have no problem replying how much I paid for something if the person asking is in the hobby or into something similar. When is some "outsider" just being genuinely curious and that has already said it is cool, I can give a price range. If it is someone who's looking down on me, ready to judge how I spend my money, I just say "it depends on the model, what you do with it or buy for it". Personally I don't get offended at all, but I'm too lazy to explain things to people who are not willing to listen.


My family does not know about the hobby because I'm not that patient to explain why I think is worth spending $500 on something "useless", but I have no problem telling my friends or boyfriend. They also have their useless expensive hobbies, we get along pretty well on that :P

 

I recently "came out" as a BJD collector to my sister. She doesn't know the full extent. She only saw two dolls. (I think she would be a little shocked and possibly horrified if she saw all of them. haha!!) But she DID ask "How much do they cost?"

I looked at her with wide eyes and said, "I'd rather not say..."

I just don't want to admit that I spend so much money on what other people consider "just a doll." I know, and you guys know that BJDs are more than "just a doll" and we put so much time and effort into them. They are also an art form, too. Like a work in progress and a creative piece.

It's hard to explain that to someone who just glances at "a doll" and asks the price of it. They don't know the full story and the full background; the hours of effort and creativity (painting, writing stories for characters, photography, and sewing, etc) that goes into these dolls.

So yeah, I'd rather not place a figure on my doll's head to someone who is outside of the hobby. (That is unless they are interested in joining in the hobby themselves!)

 

Most things financial, like how much I make and what I spend my money on, I consider personal. Just because someone is crass enough to ask, that doesn't mean they're entitled to an answer. I sometimes discuss prices with other collectors, but that is purely because they already have a pretty good idea anyway and I'm not as suspicious of their motives for asking.

I try not to be rude about it, but I'm not going to reveal private things to satisfy anyone's curiosity, either. As others in this thread have mentioned, there's ways to sidestep the question without revealing anything or getting confrontational. A simple "a good bit" or "they can be pricey" usually is fine. Most people are astute enough to realize that is all the answer they are going to get and leave it alone.

 

Its none of their business, really. And I would feel uncomfortable talking about how expensive a super nice bjd is the same way I would discussing how expensive any of my possessions are. I wouldn't want to come off like I'm bragging, nor would I want to bring out the worst in any would-be thieves

 

Thanks folks!

I agree that the concept of it being rude to ask directly about ones finances in any form, is a generational thing. But maybe it also has to do with the area you are raised in? Or maybe my friend just feels that comfortable around me.

I did try the "I would rather not say" approach, but she only questioned me further. She knows roughly the price range for these dolls, but she just doesn't have much interest in them at all. And in the past when I have talked about saving up for one I would get comments from her that expressed her disbelief that I could be willing to do so. There is a tone of voice when she asks that just sounds judgmental.

The girl is nice and a friend. But damn I cringe when she asks more details than I volunteer on my doll.

Thanks for sharing how you handle it and how you feel about it!

 

You know, you *are* allowed to say something like, "You're my friend, Person X, but it really isn't any of your business how much my dolls cost. Personal finances are, you know, personal. Please respect my boundaries."

You don't owe her more information than you're comfortable giving, just because you're friends.

 

All of my dolls I bought secondhand, so I'm ok with saying "If I bought her new, I would've paid [X amount], but I found a good deal secondhand so I paid less for her". It's a nice way to kind of get around the question but still give them a satisfying answer.

 

I tell this story often, but...

When I went to my first doll meet, there were two elderly couples that sat at the table behind us. I believe it was when we started taking photos that one of them asked us about our dolls. (They were very kind, and one of them had a relative who collected another type of expensive doll.) Once they learned about how BJDs are made, their hand painted face-ups, etc...one of the men asked how much they cost. As I recall, we gave them a price range of somewhere between $100-$1000, sometimes more or less. The man who asked us actually thought that they would be worth more. Even though the two couples did not know about BJDs beforehand, they liked our dolls and liked our hobby. So here is an example of "outsiders" being positive, rather than nagging at what we chose to spend our money on.

Usually I do give a price range much like the one our group gave the elderly couples, but I usually don't get asked. I think my boyfriend asked when we first started dating because I might have brought up prices. Once I explained everything to him and compared it to people buying video games and/or name-brand items, he understood. It also helps that most BJDs retain their price, sometimes increasing rather than decreasing. My Dad likes that about the hobby, and it's probably why he has never had a problem with me or my Mom collecting.

I just wanted to say that if you do decide to tell your friend the price of your doll or dolls, be prepared for it to go one way or the other. It might help to compare it to a hobby she's into, as sometimes it helps people to understand a little better.

 

I usually tell people "More than you make in a year!" and that ends that conversation.

 

Usually I get weird looks when I tell people how much my dolls actually cost. And then they always ask why I paid so much for a doll. I'm not ashamed of the cost but the criticism gets annoying after awhile.

 

Depends who's asking. If I don't want to tell them ill say something like 'don't ask' or 'you don't want to know', if they get pushy ill straight out tell them it's none of their business. Some of my friends who are interested I will tell but when my parents or my husband asks I usually knock off a few hundred dollars and tell a little white lie so that I don't get in too much trouble

 

Well the question wasn’t ever brought up (I haven’t brought her into many subjects and I’m usually fairly shy with taking her out). But when I told them the price I got jaw dropped looks and like ‘Are you crazy??’

Some nervously laughed and others were like ‘Emie!’ so I know what you mean! But really if someone asked me the cost I would just say ‘I can’t remember but it wasn’t too bad hahahhaa’ and change the subject. It would also depend on who it was to see what response I would give

 

I usually say something like "Anywhere from $100 to over a thousand" rather than getting specific. Though I did admit to my dad that my whole collection is worth about as much as my car. <___<

 

I just give it to them straight. If they look at me with that, 'Why the heck would you do that?' face, then I shrug it off; I don't really care if they understand or not. But it's really rewarding when they don't get totally turned off and start asking things like, 'Why is it so expensive?' in a genuine way. Then I get to explain why the hobby is so worth it to them, and while not everyone will really get it, most will start to realize that it's worth it if it's what makes you happy.

 

I was raised not ask or say how much things-- especially expensive things-- cost. Normally I dodge the question with something like "they're more expensive than Barbies... people consider them collector's items rather than toys" which hints that they aren't cheap. If people press me I just respond with "Oh I hate talking about money/I'd rather not say." For family and very intimate friends it's different-- they know a lot of my secrets LOL.

 

I do not like being judged for spending MY money. If someone ques for the price, I always answer the truth. I do not care what people think then, as each one is free to spend their money on what they consider appropriate.
In addition, it looks at first glance that they are not cheap!
My friends never have called me crazy. They are very good people and they understand all this, but do not share the hobby
In the case of my in-laws, for example, I know that these people do not understand this. So to avoid an argument, I have never taught my dolls xDD

 

My husband told me to respond to this type of question with "I am not allowed to say"....

 

I honestly rather not tell to people. especially family. Well, it's because it's really my hobby and I found it a prick for people to ask these types of questions. I told my friends, and of course some are very supportive because they are collectors too so they know how I feel. It's not a comfortable topic with me and my family I guess. It's not just BJD alone tbh. (They try to pry into all of the costs of the things I buy which I found that even as family, there are boundaries)