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What to do when your parents don't "like" your dolls?

Apr 30, 2015

    1. My parents didn't approve due to the cost. When I lived with them, I simply couldn't be in the hobby. I think the only time parents should have any say-so on what you buy is if you're spending money on a hobby, but relying on them to pay your bills. That could come off as a lack of responsibility, or taking advantage of them, but if they have nothing to do with your finances, it's not their business what you do with your money. I've proven to my parents that I can afford to collect BJDs and still never have to ask them to cover anything for me, so they don't say much anymore. They still think the prices are too high, but have no argument now. My mom even really likes my Iplehouse boy!
       
    2. Thank you for your comments. I currently live with my parents due to a medical illness, but other than that, I am completely independent and pay my own bills. Just for some clarification. ^^ Perhaps I will try and downplay the dolls for a while until I am living on my own again, which hopefully will be soon.
       
    3. Assuming that you are living independently, as are long as you are paying your expenses and not letting your responsibilities slide, then it really isn't any of their business how you choose to spend your money. (And I do say that both as an independent adult and as a parent to a doll enthusiast.) If you are still living with your parents, then you may need to play it down somewhat, or show that you are thinking about the future. Maybe setting up an account where for every dollar you put toward a doll expense, you put a dollar in for savings.

      That would certainly please me as a parent, to see that my child was thinking beyond the moment! :)
       
    4. I would say as long as you have your bills paid and not going into credit debt for the hobby there shouldn't be too much to complain about, sure dolls might not be the first hobby parents think of re: their own kids but I would explain that aside from it being your money the BJD community is a great way to make friends, an expensive doll really teaches you about responsibility (which you definitely find out after spending an hour packing them for meets wrapping every little bit with paranoia haha), and definitely brings out your artistic side!
       
    5. Well, my mom really disapproves. She thinks they're pretty, but she also says they're too expensive and a "waste of money," so I just kind of try to ignore her. I mean, I do try to explain to her that this is what I like and it's the money I'm earning and that it isn't hurting her pockets. I try to sugarcoat the "It's none of your business" as much as possible. I still live with my mother, I'm 19, but I still don't find it any of her business. We butt heads every now and then whenever the money subject comes up, but other than that../shrug
       
    6. I lived with my disapproving grandparents for a while when I had already been independent for a couple of years. I was 22. But after a bad breakup and a financial dip I had to live there again on their terms. They had a belief that I should be spending every single minute on homework and every free penny on paying off my debts. Even buying new socks was forbidden. And seeing a friend every now and again was disapproved of, too.

      Still, if you're an adult you have the right to make your own decisions. In my situation, they were extremely strict to things they knew of. It's absolutely not in my nature to sneak around but I did need some space. So, to keep my grandparents happy I paid off my debts, did my homework and tried to keep the social stuff down, but that didn't mean I did exactly as they said. I added a password to my computer so they couldn't check my history, bought something for myself every now and again that I delivered to my dad's house, and kept my doll hidden in a box somewhere. I took her out and crafted for her when I was alone.

      The thing I want to say with this is, you don't owe your parents any explanation. If they openly disapprove of it, well, you don't have to keep your dolls in the open. Buy a tiny, deliver it to a friend and keep it in a box. Claim your space on your own terms if you can't claim it from them.
       
    7. Yep. I simply sat down and talked to them about it when they brought it up in a negative light (there was no problem whatsoever when I started collecting and even when it was brought up it was more in a concerned manner as in 'don't you think this many dolls are enough, they're pretty expensive' rather 'don't spend you money on these stupid things'). I merely explained that they shouldn't worry, that I'm using my hobby money on them -not money I need to buy food, pay the rent, pay off my bills, etcetera- and that they're simply a thing that makes me happy and I work hard to save for them. That's all it really took to get them to understand why and how.

      I think this is a really easy way for parents to understand that you're not just throwing your money away on 'random things'. Just show that you're dedicated and passionate about the hobby and that you're not mindlessly spending money on them and you should be just fine. Most of the time they're just worried that you're not managing your finances correctly.
       
    8. I've started a very similar thread a while ago. My father has complained once or twice about the price and it being a "waste of money" since they are "just dolls". I told him that I'm going to use the doll for my photography since he had just bought me a Canon EOS 60D and after that, he didn't say a word. He's seen my photos and he's glad I'm using the camera. I told him that the dolls allow me to show my creativity and plus, it's my own freaking money. He's left me alone recently, but if he ever asks me why I have so many dolls, I'll just tell him because that's what I wanted to spend my money on.

      My mom is really supportive on the other hand. She thinks the dolls are really cute and stuff, so I have no problems with her.

      I really hope your dad accepts your hobby, though. If you want to try to convince him, go ahead. If that doesn't work, if the dolls make you happy, keep collecting them. After all, it is your money and your happiness.
       
    9. I'd say just bide your time... Dolls will still be there when you're out on your own again and don't have to worry about your parents' opinions so much. In the meantime, you can still put aside "fun money" to finance your eventual purchases, look at sites, make design plans and all that. When the time finally does come, you'll know exactly what you want and you won't have to delay getting it.
       
    10. I love my mom, but she and I have very little in common when it come to hobbies or interests. That's fine, I don't need her to like or approve of my hobbies. She doesn't get my doll thing, I don't get her basketball thing. We each enjoy our separate things and we appreciate that each of us has those things that we enjoy. So I don't talk to her about my doll things, or tell her what I spend, or anything like that.

      She also knows that I am responsible with my money so she does't have to worry about me living in a cardboard box with a bunch of miniature plastic people.

      If my mom was more "toxic" towards me about my life choices, I would limit my exposure to her.
       
    11. It is hard when the person who is disapproving of something is family. My doll hobby hasn't been an issue with them (mainly because they don't know how much things cost and I don't live with them and haven't since I got into the hobby) but other things have caused issues of disapproval with them. How much I studied in school, going out with friends when I had a test the next week, little things like that (my dad is a college professor and boy does he get cranky about school!) With my mom it was the books I read and the music I listened too. I used to sneak books into the house (not kidding she thought I read to much!) and listen to music when she would go out.

      I don't know how close you are to your parents or how strict they are of course, but try talking to them. If you approach it in a way that shows that you are looking at your finances and your dolly spending responsibly they might be persuaded to let it go. Or at least to back off a little.

      You should do the things you enjoy, unless they are illegal or something, and you should be able to express yourself. If your parents don't agree with the dolls but have no say in your finances then it isn't their call. I agree with some of what has been said. Send dolls to a friends house and pick them up. Keep them out of sight and don't bring them up so much. Tell them your dolls are helping you cope with your medical problems (I hope you feel better). Before you know it you will be on your own and able to enjoy whatever hobbies you wish without question. Good luck!
       
    12. Well, I have my own family, but my parents still approve my hobby. After all, my dad is heavily into music, and my mum paints. Both know that a creative outlet is a good thing, and that if you are really into a hobby, it can get expensive.

      My hubby is fully supportive, too. He is into model railways, and such a tiny, nice model can easily cost as much as a BJD. We visited the manufactury of one of his favourite brands, and they demonstrated every single step of production. Now he appreciates his and my models even more, and does not complain about prices any longer (both model railway and BJDS are hand made, after all).
       
    13. My mom is very supportive of my hobbies, to the point where I feel bad because I feel so spoiled. Like, I see people with parents who aren't happy with collecting dolls, or just having hobbies that require a whole lot of money and dedication and then... there's my mom LOL. I never asked money from her since I do have a part-time that pays well. I save money specifically for college(which she keeps) and the rest, she told me I'm free to spend it on anything I want. She was even the one who encouraged me to get my grail because "it's what makes me happy" and I should get it instead of just looking at it for months :...(

      The only problem she has with me is that I'm into too many things, so there's always new stuff in my room and tons of packages every month which bothers her a bit. Nonetheless, I'm happy she's letting me do what I want. Oh, and I'm still living with her which explains why I have no bills to pay, but I can see the situation changing when I'm finally on my own. Getting into BJDs honestly taught me to watch my spending habits hahaha
       
    14. I am living with my father and he is totally neutral to my dolly hobby. He always ask about them, if I am waiting for an new one or if I made some new clothes to them ~ but thats all.
      My grandmother seemed at first that she don't like my hobby. She was afraid about their value and asked me not to buy more. Then I told to her that my little dollies are my 'colleagues' and they helps me to fight against my depression. And well that is true so fortunately noone in my family looks at me strangely because of my dollies :daisy
       
    15. My dad couldn't care less, but my mum worries about me spending large amounts of money. I know she means well, and all parents get worried when their child has "frivolous" hobbies, but it got kinda discouraging when she would get angry with me for wasting my money on dolls instead of putting the money away. I have my own place now though, so it's not too much of an issue anymore. I guess she was kinda right in the end though, I've had to put most of my dolls up for sale to pay bills and rent lol.
       
    16. My parents don't approve especially since they know how much my dolls cost, but they are kind of used to it because I used to cosplay quite frequently. :lol: I'm glad they do not openly judge me for collecting dolls though! (They are probably used to me and my habit of collecting things)
       
    17. I've never had an issue with a parent not liking my dolls. My mother, whose opinion was the only one that mattered other than my own, rather liked my first doll. She even got one for herself because she liked mine so much. She was the type who wouldn't mind the price if wasn't something you'd get bored with after a few months.

      Sent from my SM-G900R4 using Tapatalk
       
    18. My mom found it creepy at first but i convinced her that my doll can be cute. So she doesn'mind it after that. But the price is a bit shocking for her though. And i never show it to my dad. So i just keep it in my room. Or hide it when someone comes in my room
       
    19. My mom also thinks I could spend the money better. Then again I don't drink alcohol or smoke, I don't go out to fancy clubs or have expensive hobbies except some conventions now and then. Eventually, my mom even bought me a doll or two as a present. The first one she payed back for my birthday, then she bought one as a graduation gift and now she bought me my last one for my birthday too. I think it helped I explained to her where I wanted to go with this (my limit of dolls). I didn't explain her they were charachters or so. I think she would find it weird. Only that I based them upon the Chinese elements, so she knew I had a limit set. So maybe that helps, setting a goal (altho I guess not many people in this hobby have a set goal of a limited amount).

      I also promised my mom I would not buy expensive clothes for them and so. Each has one wig, one pair of eyes and I stick with those. I also practice on making the clothes myself (and thank god practice finally is paying off). I do buy them shoes, but I'm also learning how to make those now. So in the end I guess my mom tries to be understanding, since she can also see they are part of my creativity and that I try to spend a limited amount on them and nothing more. Making clothes and shoes myself really helps too, I guess!
       
    20. My grandma doesn't like my dolls, at all. She hates them. My dad doesn't care says its good to have multiple hobbies. My boyfriend, tolerates it, sometimes buys me stuff for them. Mostly they just put up with it, my grandma sort of acts like it doesn't exist. lol