What to do when your parents don't "like" your dolls?

When I was 15 I asked my parents for a doll, and they flat out said "no, you're too old for dolls." but now that I am older with a full time job I didn't need to ask. I told them about a month before my doll arrived that I would be getting a package in the mail soon, so if it arrived when I wasn't home they wouldn't be too surprised. A couple days before she arrived I started making clothes for her and making patterns from the measurements they had on the website, (something I went to school for) and my parents even while not knowing what they were for, still thought I was doing a pretty good job on them and I think that kind of eased them into the idea that I can have a doll and do things with it that aren't entirely a waste of time to them.
Though I do realize they still think they are childish, as when I showed my dad my doll for the first time, he shook her hand and said "hello Missy, its nice to meet you." I'm also aware that they think that these dolls are creepy, so I just don't ask for their opinion too much.

 

Hmm...I can't really say that I've ever had this problem, because my dad has long been aware of my expensive tastes and "weirdness" (I already liked anime, swarovski figures, and expensive art supplies before I liked BJDs) and my grandparents are pretty spoiling of me.
Regardless, I would say to anyone dealing with adversity from their parents that the real key is just to keep mentions of the topic few and far in between unless you are relying on them to actually aquire a doll. If you hate to have something that you love dissed, just don't give the "critics" any opportunities. If they're putting your hobbies down unprovoked, well....they just need to rethink their life priorities.

 

I don't even think my dad knows I have this doll (he's my only one, so he's usually tucked away in my room anyway). But I know he wouldn't be super supportive and that's okay. I just don't tell him if I don't think it's worth it (the price, for example).

 

If your parents are not forbidding you to buy dolls, their opinion should not matter. Just keep the dolls out of their hair and everything should go swimmingly, out of sight out of mind and all that.

My mom is of the "none of her business" mindset and my dad grouses a lot, but he also grouses about everything, so my family don't actually take him very seriously. Besides, he also indulges in his own very expensive hobbies, so he can't actually say no to mine.

 

My mom really loves my dolls. ^-^ She even helps me sew outfits for them.

I don't know about my dad, to be honest. To the best of my knowledge, he thinks they're pretty, but he has a tendency to treat them like they're Barbies or a cheaper doll. He's often putting them in bins or drawers, or depositing them on the floor of my room when he cleans up or clears off a table. I don't think he quite realizes that they're not part of the mess-- having a BJD seated on the table isn't exactly the same as having a heap of playtoys lying around. They're art, so they're supposed to be seen. I don't mind him moving them out of the way (I honestly just take them right out again xD), I just hope he's gentle with them. I get a bit nervous when I see them sprawled out on my beuraeu or haphazardly piled into a bin.

 

I don't know if there are any other threads like this so if there are just delete this one. But here is my story. So I just received my new doll and so did my sister. Well I showed my mom my sisters doll but she went crazy and started yelling at us and telling us that no more dolls would be allowed into the house. I want to continue in the hobby but she wont let us. what should we do?

 

my first question is have you sat down and talked to her to see why she feels this way? If not try to talk down to her and see where things go after that. Make some form of compromise with her like you wont buy dolls to quickly and a specific time frame when you will purchase more dolls. You can also try to include her in with the hobby. Get her opinion on different sculpts see if she will help pick out their look try to even get her to get her own and make it a family hobby that you all can be a part of and have a bond with

 

Sadly, I think the answer to this will depend on you and your sister's ages.

If you are adults and living with your parents, you are entitled to spend your money as you see fit.

If you are still underage, then I can see why your mom might be angry. Even though I see your doll is one of the cheaper ones it's still very hard for people who aren't in the hobby to not see that as a large amount for a doll. It may be that you have to wait until you are older to buy your next.

All that being said, sitting down with your mother and explaining the price or as said above getting her opinion on future sculpts might help. I have a deal with my roommate that I don't buy anything she'd find too creepy. Utilizing a doll budget - a certain percentage of each paycheck and only buying when you reach the amount needed for doll, and even offering to put a higher percentage into general savings - might assure your mother you aren't wildly spending and could be a good compromise if she's worried about cost.

If it's a fear thing, I really can't offer advice other than maybe trying to find a cute non threatening doll and see how she fares with pictures. Or offering to store your doll where she wouldn't see it, not to play with it in her presence, etc. Again, if you're both adults this could be easier. If you're underage it might be the waiting game.

I'm an adult, and while my mother isn't thrilled about my doll purchases, she understands that it's my money and I'm pretty frugal otherwise so I'm not leading myself to bankruptcy via dolls. I have no other vices and I'm not killing people, so she doesn't comment. I know not everyones parents are the same though.

That being said, you and your sister have two dolls you can spoil for the time being. You guys could do a lot with just the two - photography, faceups, sewing. Don't let not being able to immediately purchase more dolls be a deterrent to your creativity.

 

Honestly my dad is the same way The only person in my family who is supported is my mother. My father LOVE to make fun of me and always saying the same crap "your 23 and you still play with dolls when are you going to grow up?" And other things like that I've learn to ignore it. Also as long as it's your own money than they shouldn't have anything to say. I work hard for my money and I pay all my bills and whatever leftover from that it goes to bjds. It's a hobby every one has a hobby.
If I were you I would get a PO box or mail your dolls to a friend house so she doesn't have anything negative to say that's what I do
I mean your mom should be glad it's not something like drugs and alcohol

 

I'm so sorry to hear this. It's hard to know why she is so angry with so few details. But I'm going to guess if she reacts that way she may be under a lot of stress. And if she is really serious, you might need to wait until you move into your own place before continuing your collection.

 

We are both adults and i did decide to take a break for a while. My sisters doll is her first and she was so excited until my mom yelled at her. I dont want this experience to turn her off from the hobby

 

Aww. Hopefully it doesnt damper her enthusiasm too much.

I do definitely think that you two should find a way to make the best of the situation and maybe work on figuring out the reason why your mom doesn't want anymore. Price? Creep Factor? Dolls aren't for adults? Can you guys find a way to compromise - keep the dolls in a box when Mom is around? Play with them when she's not? Restrict them to certain rooms? You can use this time to focus on finding her doll's style, maybe even making her a room box if that's what she's into. Photoshoots outside? If your mom sees her enjoying and doing fun stuff with the doll maybe that might soften her to them? If it's an age thing for your mom, you can find plenty of proof online of how doll collecting is a lifelong hobby.

I don't know if it's possible but does your town have a bjd community? Maybe having the chance to chat with others in person might help? Or if there's any kind of doll event going on soonish, she could bring it there while she looks around. I've noticed that quite a few doll collectors in general (even if they don't know about BJDs) find BJD pretty darn neat. Or are at least understanding of where we're coming from with our resin dollies. I went to a local doll show and there were ladies of all ages. Collecting all kinds of dolls and were all super nice, asking if they could look at my doll, what kind she was, could they hold her. It was very much a "I've found my people" moment for me. That sort of thing might help her not get discouraged.

 

I know the main reason is she doesn't like us spending a lot on dolls when none of our dolls have gone over $300. We do know how to budget and save for our dolls. unlike a lot of people we also don't impulse buy. we try to be very careful how much we buy as well but she sees it as a waste of money

 

Yeah, that's the biggest obstacle with people who don't quite get doll collecting. You could always use Blythe as a comparison (2nd hand modded ones can go for hundreds. Original Tonner's from the 70s sell for a mint). Fashion dolls ain't cheap either. Whereas yours is super customizable in comparison and could be a great gateway for creativity. And maybe if she sees you guys aren't going spend crazy she may come around too.

It's a not a waste of money if it makes you happy. If you guys could find a way to make her see that (and seeing you happy), it might help.

 

My parents hate my dolls, I think because of how anatomically accurate they are, as well as the cost. It doesn't help that I'm a boy and I like them and they're, well, really conservative when it comes to gender roles.

 

My parents don't mind my dolls. I'm thankful that my mom is actually supportive of the hobby. Even though I have a job, my mom knows my tastes really well, so I try to show her dolls that I'm interested in before purchasing them. If she likes them, it's probably a good sign that I'll like them, too. But even if she doesn't like them as much as I do, she's still OK with my dolly decisions as long as they're within reason for our family.

 

Both my parents think they're weird and a little aversive. I was never a huge doll fanatic when I was younger, so me getting into dolls just recently has really confused them. Every time they think they've got me figured out, I surprise them with another bizarre hobby. It took openly displaying both my dolls to my parents that they actually showed a bit of an interest in them and even considered them kind of cute. They even picked them up to look over their joints and admire their faceups, which really flattered me.

Most of the time you just have to give your parents some time to get used to the "new, weird hobby." If you're an adult, you can get what you want. Your parents can give you heck for it, but they can't force you to get rid of your dolls. My mom's first reaction was utter shock when she heard the price of some of the SD sizes, but once I told her they're no different from the polymer clay art dolls my sister sculpts around the same price range, she really eased up. It helps if they have something that they can relate it to, especially since my mom was considering purchasing an art doll from my sister back in the day. My "big waste of money" turned into a more relatable investment.

 

My father almost completely ignore my dolls. It wasn't like that when the first one came as he thought the photography of them would make us closer but he wouldn't let me do my own pictures and now I don't take pictures if he is nearby so he can't say "the multiple things I do wrong".

My mother has also changed a bit since the first doll. At first she was curious and she tired to help with sewing and other crafting but when I told her I had another one coming this year (my fifth) she started to give me a speech about how old I am (24) and that I am not a child anymore do I should cut with the dolls' nonsense. Imagine my face when I heard that.

But I am receiving that doll and I'm loving it to bits alongside the rest of my resin and vinyl family.
In any case, I would be moving with my boyfriend next year and he is very supportive about them so I really don't care they have stopped liking my dolls.
This is a hobby, it has to be fun for you. I know it would be nice if they were more supportive, but that's their taste.

 

Well...my mom always feel I am too old to play dolls. She don't understand me, but I will not care what she is thinking. Haha! Because I am an adult, I have my own life, I don't need to listen to parents about how to do.

 

My family was a bit confused when I started getting into dolls because I had never been fond of them as a child. Currently, my mother let's me do as I want. I still live with then but I have a full time job and her opinion is that it's my money and I can do what I want. I've always been cautious when it comes to spending a lot so I think that helped her know I wouldn't do anything rash.

On the other hand, my father has never been a big supporter of any of my hobbies, to the point that I nearly threw away a large amount of things, in tears, because of what he said. Thankfully, he's mellowed out a bit since then and now is a bit neutral on my hobbies, the dolls especially.

My two younger siblings are the odd balls, especially the youngest. She actively asks to read my doll story and knows all of their names and back stories.