What to do when your parents don't "like" your dolls?

My parents love the fact that I have something that helps me with my anxiety, makes me interact and meet knew people, whilst being a great outlet for my creative side, not only faceups and crafting, I've also started writing again after a couple of years,(bad experience in uni that ruined something I always loved doing for a while, but now it's fine) and I'm exploring a new side of photography, a very challenging one for a person who's used, and loves to photograph nature, animals and urban environments. I must admit my parents have no idea of the costs related to the hobby, they know how much I paid my current dolls, but not the ones I have on order or started a layaway for, they are also strictly forbidden from purchasing any dolls for me, since I explained it's my hobby and I would prefer only my own money to go towards it ('twas an I'm old enough, got a job and leave on my own kinda speech), especially since they don't know how much a doll costs and I don't have any plans of letting them know at least not at this moment in time. I believe they'd be okay with it, cos parents always want what's best for you and anyway it's cheaper than therapy, but I personally like to keep the money part to myself, but like I said I live on my own so that kinda makes it easier.

 

Bear in mind that if you're out when the package arrives the customs label will have the cost of the doll on it for your parents to see.

Teddy

 

I still live at home with my parents while I finish up grad school, and they have kind of mixed feelings about my doll. My dad is really difficult to talk to about the hobby, he thinks the whole thing is ridiculous. My mom kind of goes back and forth with it. Sometimes when I talk about it, I can see her eyes kind of glaze over as she only pretends to listen, but other times she'll be the one to bring my doll up, and ask to pose and photograph her. For them, the cost is a really big thing; I know they're just worried that I'm not being careful and doing my research before spending that much. It takes a lot of reassurance for my mom to be somewhat okay with it, though she does admit that I am an adult, and it is my money to spend how I wish. And my doll makes me happy; even when I'm not actively playing with her, just seeing her on my shelf makes me happy.

 

From what I know right now, my parents don't really mind it since the money is my own and I have plenty saved up for more important things already. I'm in the general same position as you though with ordering my first doll and I don't know how they'll feel once they've seen I've dropped $300 on a doll, but I'm hoping that explaining that I rather buy 1 nice high quality doll rather than many small ones that won't last as long is enough to convince them that the purchase is worth it. I'm luckily ordering her when I'm away from home at school so they'll just get to see pictures!

I do know however, that with my non-resin dolls the experience has so far just been great with my mom (she finds them pretty and is happy I'm into something generally "feminine" by her standards) but my dad has always been a bit judgemental when it comes to me and makes jokes about them. I however know that if my dad makes fun of me for having an expensive doll I can comment that he owns plenty of expensive things he barely knows how to use and spends a lot of money on concert tickets when I rarely go out, haha. If your parents are generally accepting of you and your choices, it should be fine though! I don't think they'll mind you spoiling yourself a little especially since you're an adult. I have a few acquaintances who live at home and own BJDs and from what I've seen everyone's parents are generally fine with it as long as purchasing for the dolls/of dolls isn't very frequent (so, as long as they aren't buying a new doll every few months).

 

The thing is you are living with your parents, who are presumably heavily subsidizing your life.

A parent might not mind subsidizing you if they can see that you're saving money for your future, but they may if they see you spending it all on frivolous things. That money could have gone towards your upkeep rather than a toy.

Of course everyone is different, and there are thresholds as well. Hopefully your parents recognize that you need a hobby, and buying one expensive toy once is one thing, buying one every week is another.

 

Well seen as I'm using my own money and it's only extra money at the end of the month I'm saving I don't think that side of it is a problem more so them just not being able to understand or justify spending so much on what they may see as a very expensive 'toy'

 

I live at home with my parents as I go through college. They know very well about the cost of my dolls and the dolls I want. They don't seem to mind too much, but I haven't bought a doll for 4 years now since I've put the hobby on halt. Though, they did help me pay for my grail doll which was $825!

 

If you are truly spending your own money, and buying this doll did not put an additional burden on your parents (if they are paying for your university and that money could have gone towards fees, just for example), then you don't need to justify your purchase. Just reassure them that you have met your financial obligations and are saving money, so you wanted to splurge on this one item that enhances your creativity/makes you happy/whatever the reason. You can tell them you'd rather not discuss the cost, but I wouldn't suggest lying or trying to hide it. That sort of behavior is what teenagers are notorious for, and it probably won't help your parents to see you as a responsible adult if you are sneaking around

 

My general opinion is this: what you spend your money on isn't anyone else's business excluding extreme cases where it jeopardizes the well-being of yourself or others.

Buy your doll; enjoy them rather the people around you get it or not. Worst case scenario? You can probably get most of your money back.

 

I was 19 when I first became interested in the hobby, and living at home and made the mistake of telling my mom how much they cost first and she told me if I could afford to spend $500 on a doll, then I could afford to move out of her house. Needless to say, I did not buy a doll for a long time. I got my first doll at 25, when I was fully independent. She still thought they were way overpriced, but now that she's seen how much happiness they bring me, how different they are from mass produced playline dolls, how much they've helped me develop my artistic talents, and that I'm able to balance buying dolls and managing my money responsibly, she's finally come around. She still cannot imagine spending that much on a doll, but as long as I'm not asking her to buy them for me or pay my bills for me, she really doesn't care. She even enjoys seeing the things I do with them and sometimes gets ideas of things to make for them. I did not tell my dad what they cost, he knows they're not cheap, but no dollar amount. He doesn't fully get the doll thing either, but he likes helping me with projects that involve power tools.

The best advice I can give is to educate your parents on what these dolls are and why they're not like Barbies, then mention price (IF you mention price at all.) Starting the conversation out with "So there's this $500 doll..." is really not the best way to go about introducing a parent to an expensive hobby. XD

 

Well, buying a doll is a much, MUCH better investment than blowing 200 on a weekend spent clubbing, partying and drinking .... At least imho ... ;P

 

I am an adult and I live with my mother. My parents divorced a few years back so I moved in with her to help her out and keep her company (it was a hard time for her). I pay her $600 a month in rent to help with the mortgage, pay for utilities and groceries and such. She knows I collect dolls (I started this hobby when I was living on my own), and I'm pretty sure she knows they're expensive, but she never asks about cost and I never disclose exact price. I work a full-time job and as long as I pay my bills on time then any leftover is what I use toward the hobby, and she's fine with that.

I think if you're an adult and you're being responsible with money, then indulging in a hobby like this is fine.

On the other hand, if you're an adult and living with your parents without paying anything like rent and they have issues with you spending several hundred bucks on a doll and you don't understand why ... frankly, your priorities might be a little screwed up. If you have money to blow on a doll that could instead go toward living expenses like cable, electric, groceries, then I don't blame the parents for being a little peeved and not understanding. Nobody likes a freeloader.

 

It depends on what your family is like specifically but I think it's reasonable to argue that spending that money on a single luxury item is not really any different from spending it on several less expensive ones, and it's not like you're buying a ton of them in a short space of time, it takes a while to save up. Plus the doll hobby is a very creative one potentially.

 

I've always been into fashion to some degree so when I told my parents about these dolls I made sure to talk about plans I had for making their clothes and that helped.
I've always spent birthday money on dolls, and a bit of extra pocket change on accessories for them, and my mom and I have a lot of sewing materials already so I only have to buy wigs and maybe shoes for them.
My parents have always been very supportive of me as long as I'm not hurting anyone. They are cool with me being gender-diverse and neuro-diverse, and I am stuck at home due to various disabilities so they are supportive of anything I do that makes me feel a little independant. Caring for my dolls, designing the characters and seeing some of the fabulous realities in my head come to life is something that helps immensely so they think it's great.

 

My mother was against it as well when I bought my first BJD. She despised it and still kinda does. She still viewed it as a waste, after me begging for one over the years.
I bought my first when I was 18.
Shortly after I bought a second. (That one was a surprise that she still can't get over.)
She eventually dismissed them and only brings them up once in a while these days. She doesn't interact with them at all, but when I bring them out, she gets kinda curious about them. Over all, opinions can be swayed!

 

I didn't tell my parents yet because I live in a separate house.. but I know someday I should say it to them.... kinda sad because I know they definitely kinda..... loathe me :')

 

That's not usually a problem. My SD-sized Angell Studio Charlotte cost USD15 according to the customs label

My Luts and Fairyland dolls were also marked with stupidly low prices as well.

 

I don't think either of my parents are very fond of my dolls, I think my dad just thinks it's weird and my mom doesn't like that they're so expensive and take up so much space. However my mom seems to be very supportive of at least the social aspect of the hobby.

 

I'm a parent , and I would hate that my child hid anything from me. I would enjoy if my child likes these type of dolls, in fact, I would be happy to buy it, unless it costs over $2000.00. Then they would have to buy it themselves.

 

My parents believe my hobby is quite expensive but they don't say much as long as I pay my bills. I can understand their complaints in some ways because all they see is a doll and I see so much more so I try not to bother them too much about my dolls when I visit.