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When Excitement becomes annoying (-.-)'''

Apr 19, 2010

    1. effigy has already mentioned the "canon/non-canon" issue (I was one of multiple participants in that very long, very involved and intense storyarc - boy, I miss those nights!); there was a definite "WTF??!" moment in that one that threw us completely off-track for a little while, but it all got straightened out in OOC discussion. I've had experiences with other RPers online that weren't so pleasantly resolved; there was one particular series of sessions involving Perseus' character that got decidedly unpleasant. The other person was deliberately skewing the story round to a heavily sexual BDSM/abuse storyline which just was not Perseus at all, and I had to eventually draw a line and say "No. Stop. Enough. This isn't Perseus." The other girl just wouldn't accept that the storyline was over and continued trying to write Perseus back into her own sordid little fantasy with her doll until eventually I just had to block her on IM and here on DoA. Other onlookers later said they felt relieved for poor Perseus and that it had been a bit like watching a friend try to break away from an abusive relationship. It put me off RPing for quite some time.:|

      Last I heard from the grapevine, she was trying to talk various customisers into modding a Breakaway head; seems she was trying to make her own version of Perseus....:lol:

      It's worse when it's someone IRL right in front of you though. You can always walk away from the screen or put someone on block, but it's harder to ignore them when you see them frequently - or live with them. It was me who got my housemate into BJDs; she bought a Soo Special head from the DoA MP not long after I bought Eric's head off eBay,and Ren & Eric's bodies arrived from Luts together. I put the heads on the dolls and lent my housemate some clothes for Ren whilst I dressed Eric - and then my housemate was all "Oh, Ren and Eric look so lovely together - they're obviously a couple!"

      And I was all "Uh... no."

      "Oh come on, Ren needs a boyfriend!"

      "... You already know Eric is gay." :|

      I got this with every male doll that came into the house. She would instantly be trying to pair them up and match-make. No wonder all my boys turned out to be gay! :lol: (I am sooooo glad she no longer lives with us and has gone back to Australia; I actually feel I can enjoy my dolls again without her around breathing over my shoulder.)

      One of my daughters tried to tell me what wigs my dolls should where and how to dress them but she got short shrift from me; I pointed out she had her own BJDs and she was at liberty to dictate their appearance but not that of my dolls, which shut her up.
       
    2. My mom and I do photostories together, and our dolls completely intertwine. Mom got one of her boys a week or so after I got one of my girls, and after the offhanded suggestion that they be a couple it seemed to be an interesting fit. We bounce ideas off eachother all the time. Some pan out, and others don't. If she's asking me when I'm going to change Sophie's eyes or wig (she's not crazy about Sophie's ghost eyes), I just take it the same way as when she asks about changing my own hairstyle or outfit. It's because she cares that she has an opinion, whether I choose to follow it or not. I know her; and I know not to get hung up on little things like that when it comes to our relationship. Sometimes, I'll compromise... sometimes she does. Maybe we plan things differently sometimes, but by talking it out and occassionally squabbling we find a way that really works for us.

      If someone is excited about your doll and wants to interact, it's up to you how much control you give them. If you've clearly explained your plans for your doll and they don't get it, it's understandable that you'd be annoyed. If you aren't comfortable with the amount of creative input this person is trying to have, it's up to you to stand your ground.

      Basically, this situation is the same as playing dolls together as children. This person is trying to play with you, and playing involves a certain amount of give and take. If a person tries to take total control, it's no fun for the people playing with them. On the otherhand if nobody ever compromises, people simply end up playing unrelated games by themselves. You can just say you don't want to play; it's fine to do that. How you enjoy your dolls is up to you. Apparently after 30+ years, I'm still playing dolls with my mother. LMAO But after that much time playing together, at least she knows the rules of the game.
       
    3. When someone starts wanting my doll to be their doll's girlfriend or boyfriend. x3; I'm PERFECTLY FINE with adoptive sister and brother, but when it gets romantic, I'm just thinking "Lo's too young, you fiend!" Though she's not really.. It's like how Dad didn't want me to date until I was 35. x3;
      Or even if someone were to say "OUR DOLLZ SHUD BE TWINZ" ...That'd be annoying.
      Or if they try to force them to cosplay something. Like Sakura from Naruto? Ew, no. If I'm cosplaying Hard RK Mix Rin Kagamine, then Lo shall be...! .... Pretty. :3 I'ma try and make her a two-toned something to match, but the long hair stays!
       
    4. I find it very irritating when people do that. xD I tend to keep my dolls very simple in comparison to a lot of dolls I see on the boards (style of clothing is plain, not many accessories etc) and I tend to keep to myself with my dolls because I don't want anyone to comment on it and such.
       
    5. When dealing with pushy people, I find it most effective to be direct, yet polite. Something like, "I'm flattered you've taken the time to consider [fill-in-blank], but I'm going to [fill-in-blank] instead." If the person continues to be pushy even after you've been direct, well, it's their problem and not yours.
       
    6. I'm too possessive to allow anyone to dictate what my dolls/characters should or should not be. Any statements made regarding my dolls that are too out of character will be met with a calm declaration of how they are actually like. Further insistance or protest ('why you do dis? he was cute before!') are usually met with either, 'if you like him, why not buy one for yourself' or 'if he was like (description that I disagree with), I would sell him'.

      Stuff I learned from various communications courses over the years is that is it more effective to use positive statements than negative ones when trying to get a point across, eg. instead of saying 'nooo, he's not like that!', you can try saying, 'actually, he prefers to dismember them and keep them in boxes than to date them'. ^_^ And because I do say things like that, I think few people are inclined to argue with me about *my* dolls and characters. ^_^;;;
       
    7. The closest thing like this that has happened to me was when my mother insisted that one of my dolls was either a girl or gay (which he isn't), which was definitely annoying, but I know she was saying it with the intention to annoy me and nothing else, so I actually didn't care that much. I know she really doesn't understand my hobby (or the concept of bishonen, for that matter), but as long as the dolls just stay in my room I don't have to listen to her commentary and it doesn't really matter to me. Anyway, I just told her he wasn't gay, he was metrosexual (lol).

      So far, I'm new in the hobby and basically I've just been keeping my dolls to myself, I haven't taken them to any meetups or even posted any photos yet, but I can definitely see how it would become annoying if someone constantly badgered you to change your dolls character. So far all my dolls are based on characters from a visual novel I'm currently writing/programming, so their characters have already all been determined, and they all already have personalities, sytles of dress, love interests and even families.

      Of course, if someone just wanted to play, I think I would be able to just play with them out of character without it interfering with the storyline I've already got in mind. I'm all for alternate universes and crossovers. Anyway, I think a lot of people have already said something similar to this, but another person can never change your character in your own mind...and they definitely can't change the character that's in my visual novel, unless they hack into my files and reprogram everything. That would definitely be messed up if that happened, and I would probably get a restraining order at that point ^_^;;

      Now, if someone insisted on pairing my doll with their doll, I think this is what might happen...my doll would reject that doll, because they were already involved. Or the doll they were already involved with would intervene in a jealous rage! All that would happen depends on which doll and which character it was really, but in any case that person's doll's love would probably go unrequited...even though they can't force my doll into a relationship with their doll, they're entitled to an unrequited love for their doll if that's what they want :P

      Actually, there is one of my guys would probably be all over any girl (or boy, for that matter) that gave him the time of day, much to the chagrin of a certain female character...so I would probably allow that doll be paired with just about anyone else's doll really (in an alternate "play" universe), as long as they understood that they were to be only one of his many love interests, and that furthermore, his main love interest is a fairly dangerous person... ^_^;;
       
    8. :sweatIt will be really unconfortable if a person different from you, try to decide what a BJD should be, or dress or anything else. And even worse if somebody insist even if you do not show any kind of interest. What a difficult situation.

      Personally, I would not like it, either, because I think when you get a BJD you have an idea in mind, a draft of a character that will continue developing as you share time with she/he.
       
    9. I like how you worded this. It is sort of like playing dolls like children do. I've seen things go awry when people were so focused on getting what they wanted out of the "game" that they forgot about the person they were playing with. Maybe they didn't play enough with other children when they were young, but nobody is too old to learn that you have to play nice or else the other children don't want to play with you. ;)
       
    10. People can be really dumb and don't get a clue no matter how many times you tell them something. I find that annoying rather then a certain point of excitement becoming annoying.
       
    11. I have no personal experience in what you describe - with dolls. But I have experienced something very similar in pen and paper roleplaying. And I have to admit, it is a major annoyance when someone tries to force their own concept over your character. But happily, and in contrast to some scenarios in pen and paper RPG, in your case the other person is not the gamemaster! So you can decide just as much as she does in the game together, and are the only one who has the right to decide for your doll. I think in such a situation I'd play it out for fun and let my doll's character scare the other doll away :lol:
       
    12. I read this thread before I had such experience. It was interesting to know, what I will feel this such situation.
      Now I can say.
      I invited one of my friends once, she was very excited about all my dolls. I allowed her to play with them. she created her own story for them. It was a little bit annoying that she changed their personalities.

      So, it seems, i'm very patient person, i have not so much emotions about that. But still I think that there is a boiling point for me too. If the person cannot stop after my third warning, I'll become rude.
       
    13. Sometimes you have to be really firm with people. You cant beat around the bush becuase they will take it as you not knowing what you want and that they can convince you. Stand up for yourself and your doll as absolutely as possible and know that is what is right. :D
       
    14. Wow-- some of these stories are just hilarious, and others are :nowords:. I've never encountered any such treatment from anyone before! I suppose since I don't RP or otherwise share my characters at large, and our local meetup group is grown-up and well-behaved, there's not much opportunity to run into it.

      Guess nobody likes to have their character hijacked; it feels all wrong. I don't think I'd like it. It is as ryoko11 said, playing dolls doesn't really change from when you were a kid: It might be one person's dollhouse, but you both have to play give-and-take, or else somebody bursts into tears and stomps home.

      As far as suggestions about my dolls, from meetups or passersby or what-have-you, the strongest things I've encountered were those bits of drive-by silliness that you do at meetups when everybody's sitting around eating & talkin dolls & just farting around. Like, "Uh-oh, wandering-hand accident-- looks like somebody's got a new boyfriend!" or "Now him I'd love to see in a bunny-tail thong. He should wear that next time!" ^^ That kind of talk where you're just passing the time with little flights of fancy, and nobody means nothin' by it. But I see where it could get too intense quickly, with the wrong people involved-- so I guess I am doubly-grateful to have so many good mature non-hijacking people in our local meetup groups. The problem hasn't come up.