When Friends Mess With Your Doll?

The problem is that most people can't conceive of a doll being more than $200 (USD), much less more than $500. They think it's OK to handle the dolls because to them dolls are cheap toys, not collectibles. You will just have to hide your dolls when your friends come over. There's no changing human behavior. People just can't understand that a doll can cost $500 and be breakable.

 

Yes, really. Friends that don't respect you and your property aren't really friend to begin with.

I think I'm at that age where the friends who are around are good friends, and had been friend for a long time and they know better. I respect their things and they respect mine. But even when I was younger, people who aren't respectful are the type that I've always stayed away from.

 

Like most have said this is a respect thing. I admit, I am in my 30s, so by nw I have weeded ot most of the really disrespectful people from my life, and the others know that this is a rediculously expensive hobby and that I will make them pay for breakages, which will nto be easy as most of my dolls are limiteds or discontinued. I love my dolls, I will NOT let people play rough with them, and if they do well...that person gets an earful, I refuse to hide my hobby or passions or loves, so if people cannot respect them, and therefore me, well that person has got to go. I will tell them as much. I have literally said to people "that doll is worth 2 K, if you break it you will replace it or I will take action to recoup the loss from you, friend or not. If you don't want to pay that I suggest you be respectful of it" If they are still a dick about things I will just stand u, walk over and say "I asked for respect, you didn't give it, so for today you have to go" and gesture to the door. I never act angry about it, just stern, making it clear i am not amused and not joking. That said people do not come into my house unless I know them by more than just a first name. I am protective of my property and that of my housemates

 

I don't seem to have this issue with friends of mine, so much as family members, especially those whom are very young. Ive had many instances where a cousin or a cousins' child just randomly went into my bedroom and snatched up what I'm sure they thought was a "big toy", causing me to run after them like a maniac.
Even more fustrating is if it is the child of a family member that DOES know how much they cost and that they are NOT playthings, said family does not do anything to stop their child or even make attempts to get my doll back from them. And that, of course puts me into the category of "bad guy" for having to be the one to take it away and tell them "no"...
VERY disrespectful.

 

This is true.

With younger people, sometimes there's less understanding of what's ok to do and what's not, though. I think the biggest issue I'd have with the OP's situation is the running around with the dolls after she's said to stop. That's a problem.

Thinking of the friends I have now, with all that we've been through, I'd have a tough time cutting them out of my life over something like faceup touching or not handling the dolls the way I like. I'm maintaining my stance: I'd think twice about cutting out friends over a doll issue unless the behavior was a constant issue disrupting my life.

 

i understand....i scared even my family members near her..o.o...would run quickily to my room to check it out whether she ok or not....lolz.....^^"

 

Strangely, I often find children are MORE sensitive and respectfull about the true value of my dolls than some adults. I've had mothers be mad at me for not letting their kids play with my dolls, while somehow the kids understood.

 

I am in the 40+ Old Farts category & thus my friends are generally respectful of my property. They don't generally ask to touch, anyway, but if they do want to pick one up & see him up close, they just ask me. Most of them are leery of trick knee-joints or fragile accessories, so they'd rather *I* pick up the doll & hand it to them. ^^

When you're young, you tolerate that kind of disrespect because you want people to like you... when you're a grownup, you don't tolerate that kind of disrespect unless you're trying to get laid & the jerk in question will be out of your home before morning. There's no room in life for friends who mess with you and your stuff. Especially after you ASK them to stop!-- I mean really, grown people acting like 3-year-olds by deliberately doing the opposite of everything you say? It shows a basic lack of boundaries & respect, which will not improve on its own. It won't change without you training them.

So if I were in the OP's position, I would make a "You Break, You Buy" announcement to all concerned, complete with full price disclosure. That should shut the hamhanded little buggers up.

 

If these "friends" won't abide by your wishes with your doll or any of your possessions, then they really aren't your friends in the first place.
I hope they know or have an inkling of how much these dolls cost alone, and with its accessories...if not..the next time they mess with him/her I would say.."if you break him/her you better have X amount of dollars to pay me because that what it will cost to replace him/her"
honestly though these people do this to get a rise out of you and they probably don't care about their own stuff or you..

 

My friend asked me today if I'd be taking my doll into school - I replied that I would, if she promised NOT TO TOUCH THE DOLL EVER. And she agreed. However, there are some people I know that wouldn't be so careful, so I'd be sure to keep my doll in a carry case when I am around people who won't handle her with the care she deserves.

 

Might be better to just not tolerate that behavior period.

Don't let anyone you want to be with treat you with disrespect! /PSA

 

Well the problem with you break it, you buy it if you're a young person is that that's really hard to enforce, especially if friend's parents think their child is an angel and you're just being greedy or whiney. I know if something happened when I was in 9th grade (I didn't have a doll), none of my friends could have afforded to replace it, and most of them wouldn't have taken paying me back seriously. So really that is not a great thing to fall back on if you're young.

I'm on the other side of the spectrum on this issue. These dolls aren't particularly fragile. If you drop them on carpet, it's doubtful they'll break. There are very few accidents that can't be fixed, short of losing a piece (but that wouldn't happen in your own home). If my friends are being obviously disrespectful and are just messing around with them because they know it'll bug me, well YEAH that's a problem, but not because I'm worried for the doll, rather for the disregard shown by my friends. But if they're playing with them and putting them into many poses because they are fascinated, sure they can! I do that myself so why shouldn't they be able to? It's pretty obvious if its being pushed to its physical limit, and I think it'd be really hard to break one from over posing. Personally, I think that not allowing someone else to do (reasonable) things you yourself do with your doll is a little bit weirdly elitist. If someone sleeps with their doll and rolls it all over the place and drags it over hill and dale, and then gets concerned when their friend tries to pose it with a teddy bear, I'm afraid this person is just being ridiculous and overly possessive. I'm not saying the OP is like this, just that I think some people probably are.

As for the touching the face, i'm soso on that too. I tell people not to but I'm not going to get mad if they do again if its an accident. I do my own faceups so no biggy if it gets messed up (unless I JUST did it), and besides that, the faceups are tougher than people give them credit for as well. Allan's had his faceup for a year and been across the country with me and to several doll meets and I do definitely play with him, and the only ways his faceup has messed up is that its rubbed off on the tip of his nose, which is both barely noticeable and really common even without much play.

So all and all I think some people really overreact. These aren't thin porcelain. Damaged wigs are usually easily replaced. Broken fingers are easily replaced (I've never had anything break). Of course, the ease depends on your mold, but most dolls are basics so..

As I said, it has more to do with the nature of the person's handling, whether they're doing it to bother me or blatantly be disrepectful (I only had some friends like this in high school though we never really hung out outside of school for obvious reasons), than whether the doll is actually in danger or not.. but that would go with any thing, whether the item was 5 dollars or 500.

Oh and if they were posing them into 'adult' poses, I would be pissed and immediately confiscate the doll :P cause any friend of mine would already know this pisses me off.

 

Well finally with my luck most of my friends are in the doll community so they know not to handle them recklessly. Although when I used to live with some other room-mates. I would tell them in the hot summer days NOT to close my door (no AC it was horrid -_-* ) so of course they closed it and on top of that re-arranged all of them <.<;; the funny thing is they knew how much i paid for them and still insisted that they would mess around. But now that I am moved out (thank goodness) my gamer friends dont even bat an eye at them. Which for me works

 

Everyone has a different tolerance level for this sort of stuff. What might be overreacting to some might not be to others. I think the root of this thread really is respecting others wishes. Even if you think they are overreacting it's in their right to do so when it comes to their possessions. Telling them they are overreacting is just as rude as man-handling the doll as you wish.

 

I don't think anyone was being purposely rude by anything that was posted-merely just stating their opinions, which is what this thread is all about. Not everyone reacts the same when it comes to the handling of their dolls---as you yourself said in the beginning of that post, everyone has different tolerance levels.
the OP was merely saying if a friend of theirs wanted to pose the doll/ hold the doll out of curiousity, then why not? It might even make that person become a potential BJD enthusiast themselves. I doubt they meant that they are willing to let a friend man-handle something of theirs violently or with the outright intent of destroying it.
A persons curiousity should not be mistaken for or even penalized as outright disrespect.

 

I had a friend like that who happened to be a doll owner as well, funny enough. Not sure if she mistreated her doll so much, but she always handled mine very roughly. I told her to stop, but she said she has the right to treat my things as she sees fit because we were friends. I ended the friendship not too much longer afterwards.

But I agree. Talk to you friends first, and if they have any respect left in them they would at least take your wishes seriously. If they still believe they have the right to do whatever they please to your things then I wouldn't consider them as friends really.

 

I wasn't really saying that to anyone here. I just meant if you were worried about your friends being rough with your dolls and expressed that they were expensive and important to you and they then said that you were overreacting that it would be just as rude etc. I should have been more clear. >.<

 

My friends are respectful, and also old enough to fully appreciate how much the dolls cost, and most importantly, how much they mean to me. I have no problem with them holding or playing a little, my room isn't very big so my friends are usually sitting on my bed so if a doll gets dropped, its going to be onto a pile of blankets Also my little girl is wearing so many layers of clothes and a poofy wig that would probably break any fall I have a friend who is particularly adept at posing dolls too, and I'm usually happy to let her play as she can sometimes get them to pose in ways I don't have the patience for!!

Looking back to my younger days (I'm hoping you are a teenager, and that you don't have adult friends who behave like that!!), I had cloth dolls I made that I took to school to show my art class, and of course they were at home when people came over, and none of my friends ever messed with them. They wouldn't have had just me but my MUM coming down on them!!!! I think if your friends have done it once and saw it upset you, and continue to do it, that is a bigger issue than just the doll. I see how it might seem 'funny' the first time, especially if they didn't know much about the doll and thought it was just something you got at the mall, but if you have explained, and it continued on to the point where you have to hide the doll... I'm kinda on the side of people suggesting you re-evaluate the friendship.

 

Nearly all of my friends are either gamers or involved in some sort of artistic hobby, so even if they don't get why a doll is so expensive, they can understand a hobby being expensive. Also, regardless of something's actual price, my friends know that if I don't want something to be touched, it should not be touched. Luckily, I've never had a friend disregard that "rule," but, should it happen in the near future, that particular person just won't be allowed near any of my belongings. While it may be considered harsh, I can be very anal about things like that.....