When was the first time you could not bond with a doll?

My First doll was factory direct and I thought that she would stay factory mint, but with time I changed her factory eyes because they were damaged and I changed her face-up even though she was limited. In that I have felt extremely quilty. The rest of my BJD gang has been 2nd, 3rd, and/or 4th hand except for 3 and I have no regrets with the dolls from DoA, ZoZ, and Ebay. 2 of the 3 Factory direct dolls, well, the bonding is taking forever and I feel guilty for that. I waited and thpppt-where is the love?? On one limited seconh-hand doll that I received, my daughter was in shock as he was in super AWFUL shape. As soon as he came out of the hairy box, she thought he should move out. I spent endless hours repairing him. The original owner even emailed me saying he missed him and would love to have hime back if I did not bond. Do what makes you happy, perhaps someone else may have an interest in the doll and you can move on to another. People "upgrade" all the time, our taste changes, and/or we pick a favorite and the others never measure up.... AnnMarie

 

two of my three are second hand and I love them all I think my favs are the second hand because I don't feel as caucious around them...not that that makes sense but I feel like because they have been around longer they are more comfortable, more durable or something LOL...its weird I know

but I do understand as your first the magic might be more with a new stinky doll especially if everyone around you has that new doll haze probably created from the smell of resin LOL

I think like others have said though that is less that the doll is second hand and more that you didn't get to pick it that has you down. my advice would be to really play with the dolls look, try new eyes get a new face up for her, sew her some clothes really make her yours!

When my dolls arrive new or used I always take time to wash them down really good and get a good look at them it helps with the bonding I think. and I think maybe part of what you need to do is MAKE HER YOURS and not someone elses

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand? I have 2 second hand dolls at home and one that should be here in the next few days.

Did you have trouble bonding with it? I've had a little trouble bonding with the first 2nd hand doll I got, a DIM Shiny. She's really cute, but she can't pose very well.

What did you do if you did have trouble? I'm in the middle of trying my best to everything to make her pose better- for some reason her jointed weren't made to fit together very well, so I have to sand them down, I'm going to try to restring her again, and I think I'll be creating my own hands and casting them for her. But I think I'm going a little further then most people would go for such a little doll.

Any advice for me? Decide what it is you don't like about her and think about if it's really worth the money to fix these things, or if you'd really rather sell her and get the doll of your dreams. You might have to save up for a while, but you might be happier in the end.

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand?
Yes, just two weeks ago.

did you have trouble bonding with it?
Yes and no. I'd loved this sculpt for ages, but the price of her was keeping me from being excited for her arrival.

What did you do if you did have trouble?
If it's it's any help, I sort of felt awkward with my first doll. She was brand new, but didn't really look like the doll in the promo pictures. I was sort of disappointed, and really stressed because of all the work I needed to do on her; she was the doll that I would learn to do face-ups on, and I was not good at all when I started. It took some time, but after she was all finished, I really loved her, and it was all the work that made me bond a little better.

Any advice for me?
If you think that there is any chance that you might like her at all, I would keep her. Maybe you could put her away until you get a new doll to be "your first," and then fix-up Shinku when you feel comfortable with it. She may seem more like a completely different doll when she's all fixed and to your liking.

 

Marluxia (awesome name, btw!!!):

Have you ever bought a doll second hand? Yes, I have! His head and body came from 2 different people and I got him "because he was cheap". I had no intention of EVER owning an Obitsu Haruka on a BBB WEylin....EVER. But it happened. Jasper is my newest addition to the family and first 2nd hand doll.

did you have trouble bonding with it? YEs. But not because he was 2nd hand. More like because he is my only SD in a group of MSD, but mostly b/c of his personality. He has a very odd, distant personality, sort of a Mad Hatter/Willy Wonka really really oddball type. He's not cuddly, he's not dependent on me...But he's still adorable.

What did you do if you did have trouble? I just try to find things about him I can connect with....and realize he IS different from my others, but more time with him helps. Also, making clothing for him helped.

Any advice for me? If you really don't like her at all, you probably aren't going to. It sounds like you resent the fact that everyone in your house got to choose their doll except you, and I think you may be resenting your doll because of it. Like, every time you look at her, you are thinking "I got stuck with you b/c I had no choice". Getting her a new look or new faceup might make her more your own, with your own style. I know that has worked for some of my friends (whether it was a new doll or not). My sister just recently changed her first doll's character. She wasn't bonding with him at all (she had him a year and a half). So...she got him new eyes, new wig, new clothes, new name...his wig isn't even here and she's already bonding better. Maybe your girl just needs a makeover!

Good luck!

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand? Yep. Dahlia was second-hand, Max the Puki was second-hand, and Clare was also second-hand.

Did you have trouble bonding with it? What did you do if you did have trouble? Yes. I had a lot of trouble bonding with Dahlia. When I purchased her, I guess it didn't hit me that when I got her she would not have any of the hair, clothes, or eyes that she was pictured with (I kinda hate it when dolls for sale are shown in things that they aren't coming from). So I get her and I didn't know what to do. I really thought that I would end up selling her at the end of the summer simply because I couldn't really bond with her. My last ditch effort was to get her a new face-up and try and morph her into something else. The face-up did it. I got her back and I just couldn't put her down. I love her so much now and I don't think I'll be getting rid of her anytime soon.

I then purchased a Puki Puki Sugar from a friend. I got her with a bunch of clothes and shoes, plus a full pukisha set as well. I liked her size because she was really cute and tiny and so pose-able, but I like to make things for my dolls and I couldn't make anything that small. I tried getting her new eyes, but I couldn't get past the tiny-ness and I decided to sell her. I was taking pictures for the sales thread and I popped the unpainted pukisha pieces on and instantly fell in love with those parts. So I sold the Sugar plates and the human things, and then kept the pukisha things. I don't have to make clothes for a cat, and I still get this really cute little doll.

Finally, I am having some trouble keeping my bond with my first doll, Faye. I know that I want to keep her, but I hate how she's so skinny, her body doesn't pose as well as the others, her resin is stained, and her face-up is chipping. So to fix her up, I'm going to get her a new face-up and a new body.

Any advice for me? I really think that a new face-up can change a lot about a doll. If you can figure out what isn't right with her, then you can fix those things and make her perfect. She's a character doll, but maybe you'd like her more if she wasn't so character-oriented.

 

Marluxia- don't feel guilty or bad. She just isn't the one for you. I'm sure if you put her up for sale, some one will want her. She will be right for them, and you can buy one that is what you want.

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand?
Meredith is double that xD
His and and body, while not bought for the same owner are both second hand.
And it was my first doll too =3

Did you have trouble bonding with it?
Absolutely not! I already knew what I was getting into. I wanted to use him to practise face-ups and I just ended not making as many as I wanted since I went for a body....
He is also a limited... so I was obligated to get him second-hand... and it helped a lot in money wise =3

What did you do if you did have trouble?
Took care of them =3
Merry's head arrived with no face-up, I made one and after about 5-6 tries, I'm getting to it =D
His body arrived with wires that weren't doing their job, I took them out, and restrung him.
I needed a neck-part so that I could attach his head to his body, I got it last week and my god is it easier then what I had before XP

After a while I noticed some things weren't working out appearance wise.... well his new wig is on the way and I'm getting to know his personality better =3
Its more complicated then I thought XD

Any advice for me?
Take your time ? Its your first doll, maybe its only things you though you would like (faceup, wig, eyes) that just don't work =O!
Try changing something, the size of his eyes, color, wig, anything you think would be better =3
Or, you could go get the doll you really want. If you really think getting a doll that as been previously owned is not what you want, I'm sure someone would be more then happy to own it yet again and you could go for a "direct-from-company" doll =3

 

All of my dolls are second-hand, for one reason or another. It took me over a year to bond with Isolde (doc twing-key with a serendipity 14 freyja body). I kept her because I felt guilty about being her third or fourth home. At one point she'd been unstrung and boxed due to a move, and I thought about her sitting there. I could imagine her grouchy like a cat in a carrier. I assembled and dressed her, and she felt like a whole new doll. I'd finally bonded, and now I love her. The only thing I don't like is the trouble I go to getting clothes that fit correctly.

The advice I'd give is that if you want a shiny mint doll that is 'pure' from other owners, go new. I have no preference, and enjoy the idea that Isolde was once Miette (I think) and someone else before that.. maybe before that, too. Our dolls are vehicles for whatever we want, and in my case I enjoy considering their sordid or not-so-sordid past lives.

 

Heya ^^ Girlfriend here >D
Doll is now up for sale ^^ I'm not really angry, but i do want her to have a doll she can truly love XD
I got that doll just so i can fix him up in the first place, she never got to choose the mold >>;;; just went MIne XDmine mine mine....minee!! ;^;
So its up for sale now ^^
http://www.denofangels.com/forums/showthread.php?p=5578288#post5578288

 

Ahahhaaaa 8D;;; my girlfriend caught me.

But yeah, he's up for sale now >: wish me luck.

 

I don't understand this. They're just dolls, right? I mean, I'm not trying to sound mean or anything, but they're hunks of resin. How can you bond with an inanimate object? Maybe you're having second thoughts about the sculpt or feeling buyers remorse for spending the money.

 

I've never had a problem bonding with a 2nd hand doll. I loved them when I first saw them. My shock was when I ordered an ElfDoll Wysteria. She was gorgeous. Her posing was amazing. But, no matter what, she never fit in and I couldn't warm up to her. I ended up sending her to a friend who is a seamstress. In return, I got a beautiful wardrobe to fit all my girls.
Pati

 

DDDDDDDD: I just wrote the LONGEST reply, and lost it ALL. Gimme twenty minutes to muster the nads to type it all again....

 

Most of my dolls are second hand, but I think I never have any trouble bonding with a doll.

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand? Most of my dolls have come to me from other owners, second, third, fourth hand

did you have trouble bonding with it?mostly no, I have had one girl who I have decided to trade on since she is argueing with me about her character

I also had one boy I adore, but he would not tell me his name in FOREVER! I kept him though and fought through it, now we are happy together

What did you do if you did have trouble? It depends on the circumstances. Most of the time when I ahd bonding issues I changed the eyes or the body and the doll suddenly worked, in one case I just concluded she does not fit and am trading her out, and one I fought through it and just decided he does not actually have a real name, but I love him anyway

Any advice for me? Try to work out what it is that bothers you, the body? the eyes? is it that you saw the pretty pristine ones your friends have and then looked at your older one and wanted a shiny new one too? is it just that the doll is not right for the character? you never know, it may just be the wrong doll for you, but depending on what you can do and can afford to do you can try different faceups, wigs, eyes, change up the look a bit, and you may find that it suddenly comes together, or you may find that you know the doll is wrong for you in which case sell or trade it out. Asside from all that you can try putting it away for a while, pack the doll up so you are not looking at it. If you miss it and HAVE to get it out you know you do not want to trade it, if you find you miss dolls, but not THAT doll then it is probably time to look at finding ti a new home and bringing home someone who is right for you

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand? Two, soon to be four as soon as my other two arrive.

did you have trouble bonding with it? So far not at all! However I've had the exact opposite problem where I got a doll from the factory that I could not connect with at all. Then my AOD came from the factory and I'm finding him a little harder to connect with too. I can't place my finger on what it is, if it's just bad luck or what.

What did you do if you did have trouble? Well right now I'm going to re-home my Abio Angel. He's being reworked to resemble a friend's OC and given as a christmas/birthday present. If I don't connect with the two I have incoming, I'll probably have them hit the market after giving them a couple months to setting in. It happens, be the tolls Fresh from the factory or second hand.

Any advice for me? haha Unfortunatly I'll be honest, if your partner gave you that doll, in your place, I would keep it. It's one thing if a doll I buy myself is a dissoppointment but you may just have to grin and bear it? Like some other people suggested, maybe playing around with different wigs/eyes might help?

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand?
Oh yes, 4 of mine are second hand and I truly prefer to purchase them that way. I do tons of research beforehand at doll company sites and here in the gallery to get an idea of the kind of dolls that would work for a certain character I have in mind. And then I haunt the marketplace looking for a good buy that strikes my fancy...one that just "feels" right to me. So you might say I actually seem to start the bonding process before the doll ever arrives. It just seems to me that preowned dolls have a little something special about them already from having been previously loved, and I can "see" it in their sales photo.

did you have trouble bonding with it?
The only dolls I've ever had difficulty bonding with have been brand new from the factory...a handful of DIM minimee heads that just left me kind of "meh" and a Fairyland PukiPuki that was just too small for me to enjoy.

What did you do if you did have trouble?
I don't wish to sound harsh, but hey, if it doesn't work out then it's best to just let it go. Why force the issue? There are so many more dolls out there that need to be loved and so many people who will love what you can't. Whenever I've sold something, I've immediately taken the funds I've earned from that sale and invested them into a doll I can bond with.

Any advice for me?
Take it from an older collector, my dear...life is too short to let your dolls make you unhappy. Everyone will understand that sometimes the best of intentions just don't work out the way you think they will...and your girlfriend's gift will be better served if it can be recycled into a doll you can truly bond with and enjoy. It seems to me that you would really be happier choosing your own sculpt and your own character, and to have that doll be brand new from the company without any previous attachments to it (like a perfectly clean slate.) Then by all means, do what makes you happy. I strongly suspect your girlfriend will understand and just want you to be happy.

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand?
Yup! One was a gift that was third hand, and another two I've bought second hand.

did you have trouble bonding with it?
I had trouble with the first MSD I had, which was second hand. I fell in love with her pictures, but when she came, I was terribly disappointed.

What did you do if you did have trouble?
I tried a lot to bond. I bought her new clothes that suited what I wanted for her, new eyes, new wigs! I spent time with her really learning how to actually take care of a doll. And nothing worked. After about three months, I ended up selling her because it just wasn't happening for me.

Any advice for me?
If you can't bond with the doll after giving it what you have (in terms of customizing the doll to your liking), then sell. You can't help when you don't bond with a doll. People sometimes don't even bond with their firsts or factory (my first doll was factory fresh, and I never bonded with her, so she got traded for a lot of MSD clothes and wigs that I liked). Don't pin the bonding on the doll being second hand, as that usually doesn't have a lot to actually do with it unless you ended up with a doll that's more damaged than you expected (and in that case, selling is still the best option unless you *want* to takke the time to fix it up). A lot of people buy dolls they love for whatever reason, first or second hand, and then end up not able to bond with it for whatever reason. On another note, sometimes you end up with a doll you thought you;d hate for whatever reason, and you end up loving that doll more than anything else (happened to me as well!)

 

Is there something wrong? I have had my dolls (both Bobobie molds) For about 2 years and haven't really bonded with either one. I'm not really sure what to do about it either. I have changed their face ups multiple time and they have clothes, wigs and eyes. I love oogling at the dolls and I dream of owning one that I would love like most of you love them.

I feel bad for them and I wish I didn't feel this way. I took pictures of Ella (my girl) and then suddenly stopped. Has anyone else ever had this?