When was the first time you could not bond with a doll?

I bought my third doll second hand. He's an incredibly dear character of mine, but even now as he's complete I'm not at all happy with him. It's depressing really, I love his character and the mold to death but somehow I'm just not bonding with him. I'm just trying to be around him a lot so I get used to him. I guess you can try something else with her or trying to remake her into something new.

 

I have only one new doll, the rest are secondhand and were good prices and pretty much what I wanted though. Two out of five dolls I didn't really bond with, I will probably sell the smaller one and for the 1/3 doll I bought a new head with a sculpt that I like to replace it.
Maybe keep Shinku until you buy your 'first' new doll, and then decide if you want to sell, because you may decide that she's perfect for another character.

 

It sounds like this has less to do with "bonding" and the doll being second-hand and more to do with you not really liking the doll.

There are a lot of dolls I like and would in theory be fine with to receive, but if they were my FIRST doll and I couldn't CHOOSE them ... I would be less enthusiastic.

So either you need to buy the doll you really wanted (and keep this one and see if you like her more when you get the one you really like), or sell this one and then buy one you really want. Simple as that. IMO "bonding" is a lot of hooey anyway. Do you like it or not? No? Then get one you DO like. If it turns out you don't like that one either when you get it, then maybe you're just not a doll person.

 

What I might do is, once my post count is up to 40, I'll see how i feel about her, then put a feeler in the market place. If I get a nibble, I'll know then if I can bare to part with her.

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand?
No, not even when I was into Pullip type dolls or other types did I ever buy second hand.

did you have trouble bonding with it?
Not applicable for me.

What did you do if you did have trouble?
In regards to dolls in general, give them some time, try changing them up, but if I don't feel it, I don't feel it. I bought an Akando even though I knew somewhat he wasn't completely what I wanted. Despite how beautiful and 'perfect' he was... I knew it wasn't going to work. Popped him on market right away. And I had purchased him brand new.

Any advice for me?
If you're new to the realm of buying and selling dolls, i suggest try changing the doll up if you like it at all. If you aren't feeling any better, or are still iffy, you'll probably want to sell it. If you don't like something then you don't, no ifs ands or buts. Talk to your girlfriend, if you resell for the amount you both invested and return they money, or reinvest it along with her being part of the process, I'm sure she'll be fine. She bought it because she wanted you to be happy after all right?

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand?
Yes, a light tan RS Bao.

Did you have trouble bonding with it?
Yes, and no. Even though he was bought after my other doll, he arrived to me first, so he is partly my first doll, and my first experience with everything was with him. However, after getting my BBB Bei, I started noticing certain things about his face, like how his eyes sat unevenly in his head, or how his eyebrows where slightly off, little things I never noticed until I had another doll to compare to.

What did you do if you did have trouble?
Since his eyes were uneven in his head, I decided to see if sanding his eyewells would help. I got over the fear of modding my first doll, and just did it. And, wouldn't you know, it worked wonders! I gave him a new set of eyes, restyled his wig, put him in different clothes, and suddenly he felt like my boy. It took extra work, but I love him to pieces now.

Any advice for me?
Everyone has definately given great suggestions for what to do. Clean her up, try a new look, maybe have her shell a new character. If that doesn't work, then you're welcome to sell her, but maybe let your girlfriend know. I mean, if you don't really love the doll she helped you buy like you had hoped, that's just how it happened. I mean if you sell Shinku and use the money to buy the doll that really hits your fancy, your girlfriend has stilled helped you in getting your dream doll, only in a very roundabout way.

 

My first (currently only) doll was second hand. I got him for a steal off ebay and he wouldn't have been my first choice if I was buying from a factory. He was definitely bought on a whim and when I got him home, I was shocked at his condition. It looked like somebody took a sharpie marker to his eyebrows.

It took me a long time to bond with him, mostly because it took me quite a while to clean him, sand, seal and do a face-up. As I worked on him, I bonded to him because he became more mine. It was when his hair finally arrived (after 8 months of searching) did Matthias truely come to be.

If you've spent time with the doll, worked with him/her to get them to an image of what you want them to be/look like AND you still haven't bonded, I say it wasn't meant to be.

 

My first doll was new, and I absolutely couldn't bond with her. The moment I opened her box and saw her I was already thinking of selling her. I tried my best; spent quite an amount on clothes and wigs and eyes, but no matter what I did I just couldn't feel anything for her. It was actually a relief when I sold her to someone who felt that she was totally cute and sweet.

Bella, my Soom Glot, was bought secondhand at an exorbitant price. Money was really tight when I got her, and I could only afford to get her without her wig and clothes. She was bald for a couple of weeks I think. But despite all that, I just love her. Even bald, I would find myself looking at her and just admiring her sculpt and faceup, everything down to the tiniest little eyelash. I hardly go any place without her, and she sits beside me whenever I'm studying or online. In fact the little darling is beside me now

I would suggest that you put your Shinku up for sale when you have MP access, and in the meantime keep an eye out for a doll that you might be able to better bond with. Don't buy a doll immediately; think it over for a few days. I've experienced moments when I think I absolutely have got to get a certain doll, only to have that feeling disappear the next day. But I've learnt from my experience with my first girl, who was definitely an impulse buy.

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand?
Yes, I have bought three dolls second hand. One of the DOA MP and two off ebay.

did you have trouble bonding with it?
I kept one of the ones I bought off ebay, I sold the other two. Mostly due to the fact that money was tight for me at the time. One I never bonded with, the other I miss terribly.

What did you do if you did have trouble?
Sold them on the DOA MP.

Any advice for me?
If you aren't bonding and have MP access then sell her. Its not worth it to have a doll as expensive as these are and not have any connection to it. Get yourself something that you will cherish and love.

 

I find that it takes me longer to bond with second-hand dolls than with new ones. With both my second-hand dolls the first thing I've done is to give them a bath and clean them as well as I could. One I kept the faceup and eyes as they were when he arrived, because that was what attracted me in the first place, but he had to get a change of wig and clothes. My next second-hand doll got a bath the second she arrived home and had her eyes and faceup removed in days. To see her now she looks like a totally different doll and feels new to me.

However if making changes or bathing don't help, then maybe it's time to say she's just not what I was expecting or right for me.

Another thing I found was that I just can't bond with dolls that I've had problems with. I recently had a bad transaction with a company when I got some new dolls and every time I looked at them I would get sad and angry. I finally sold them today and the sense of relief that I feel is so good.

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand?

Yes, I have bought many that were second hand.


Did you have trouble bonding with it?

I only had trouble with several of them. One or two turned out to be a size that didn't work for one and one was French resin that eventually yellowed.

What did you do if you did have trouble?

I sold them to people who liked them in the marketplace.


Any advice for me?

I think these dolls are too expensive to keep unless you are absolutely crazy about them. If your new doll bothers you for any reason and you have a bad feeling whenever you look at it, I think you are under no obligation to keep it. Someone, somewhere would probably love to have it.

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand?
Yes, not my first doll that was new from the business.
I bought a secondhand msd.

Did you have trouble bonding with it?
No, because I removed her old face-up and didn't use the wig which came with.
I did the face-up again by my own and gave her another wig and eyes.
Made some clothes for her by myself.
It took a while before she had the "good" eyecolor.
That was the only bit hard thing to get it right.
With all of my dolls, I bond slowly with it, need time

Any advice for me?
I saw many has already given advices^^
Maybe put her for sale? Or talking to your girlfriend about it, perhaps she has another view on this?

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand?
No but I would. If I see a factory doll and can tell instantly that I can love him/her then I'll start saving. I'd do the same for a second hand doll.

did you have trouble bonding with it?
(Has no second hand doll). I got my Iplehouse doll not so long ago and I was a bit panicky because I had a bit of trouble bonding with her. It's just her personality, she's almost always silent and I mistook it for not being able to bond.

What did you do if you did have trouble?
I just kept trying different ways of thinking to try and figure out her personality. And I tried really hard not to panic. I'm a writer so I started writing random things about what I already knew about her, which was that she stared and did nothing, but eventually I found who she was by finding the right outfit. She's good at keeping secrets that girl

Any advice for me?
Yes... Sell. That sounds harsh but I think, as you said, you didn't choose the doll. If you'd seen the doll and thought something like "ASINFGWTYCZPLISN I NEED THAT DOLL RIGHT NOW!!" and it hadn't worked out my advice would probably be to keep trying, but this is obviously having a negative impact on you. Part of the fun of this hobby, in my opinion, is saving up and researching and spending hours going in circles from site to site trying to find THE doll that you've fallen in love with. AND THEN when you've found the doll, looking at clothes, counting all your savings, deciding on the wigs and eyes you want and if you'll get a default faceup or commission someone or do it yourself. It should be exciting! The doll won't feel special to you if you didn't really choose it in the first place and if you've fixed it up then it should be sellable for a good price.

Saying that, it may be a slow growing love and you might actually get attached. Don't feel bad about selling, just go with your instincts, they're probably right

 

I bought a second hand doll a few months ago and have the same problem.
I rarely do anything with him and I just don't get a feeling for him. perhaps it's because the anticipation of waiting a month or longer wasn't there or something....

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand?
I bought my Shiwoo from the Marketplace and I absolutely love him. His head currently is out for a new face-up, but that's because the factory one he still had wasn't right for the character from the start. He is supposed to get a few more changes, like a new wig, but I'd never want to sell him. My Glot head also came from the marketplace, and so far I can't get over how wonderful she is.

did you have trouble bonding with it?
Not at all. But I guess for me it does not matter how many owners it had before as long what I buy is what I want or it's easy to change what I don't like (e.g. face-up, eyes, wig). I have seen a rather cheap doll on the marketplace and it was a mold I have on my Wishlist, but the previous owner had modded him a bit. No matter how nice the moddings might have been, they wouldn't have suited the caracter I had in mind.

What did you do if you did have trouble? Any advice for me?
Can't really answer that, but I guess it's a good idea to change some things about a doll. Try a new outfit, another wig or change the eyes. Maybe even a new face-up. Or lock it away for a while and try to imagine it was gone. If you don't miss it at all... sell it?
If it's not the doll you wanted and you don't like let's say the nose or eyeshape it's likely you won't bond at all. Which totally is no thing to be ashamed of. It's an item and not a pet. If you got a puppy and realized you did not like it shortly after... well still better for the puppy if it got a new loveing home, but your doll actually will not care at all. Your will possibly be able to make a bit money to fund another doll you want more and someone else gets a nice new doll to have fun with.

 

Don't feel guilty because she's not the right doll for you. You can't tell how you're going to feel about a doll until you actually work with her, and even then it can take a while to be sure. If you've tried changing the faceup and hair and she still doesn't speak to you, sell her to someone who will enjoy her and use the money toward the doll you really want.

 

I bought my second doll second hand and I sometimes think I love him a little more even then my first. That of course has a lot to do with my favouring the sculpt of my second doll. I don't even have a wig or proper eyes for him yet but I adore him. I also think it has to do with the time Ive spent with him, trying to do a faceup and though I've yet to succeed I enjoy spendingt he time on him. Where as the doll I bought from the factory and came with his default faceupt, though I love his face and he's wonderfully pretty its not something I've spent time on myself.

Like alot of people have said before now it seems like the problem is more with the doll itself and not the fact it's second hand. I love my second hadn doll more because it's a sculpt I was pining for...where as my first doll was bought on a whim with only a few minutes debate on which I liked most.....
If you can't bond with your doll then like everyone has said so far I would wait it out a bit...try some different activities and if nothing works look to puttingt hem up for sale and use that money towards a doll you really want. Take the time to find the sculpt you can fall in love with.
Heck maybe you could even find the doll you Really want second hand.

My only issue buying a doll second hand would be if they arrived severely yellowed and this had not been mentioned in their advertising. Because eprsonally..I likely wouldn't buy a doll that was really yellowed. but that's just me.

 

I have bought many dolls from second hand market - many are only available in second hand market.

I have problems bonding with new dolls or second hand dolls - if they are not my type of doll in real life.

"Being Second hand" doll does not bother me. All of my super-dear-I-will-never-part-away dolls from my crew are second hand dolls.

I never bought a doll because it was "cheap', I would only buy a doll if it is what I wanted and at the price that I can afford. Also I do make sure that the dolls are in good condition

 

Have you ever bought a doll second hand?

Yup, all of kids are second hand.


Did you have trouble bonding with it?

Never, I love them all. Even though I am trading one away (Which was what I was planing from the beginning and then I got attached silly me )

What did you do if you did have trouble?

N/A.


Any advice for me?
Kind of sounds like you don't like things second hand, I would suggest just getting ones from the factory in that case. Also If you are picky on the type of dolls you like then just aim for the one you want instead of spending less money on one you don't. Seems simple to me.

 

**EDIT Misread the post~

Most of my dolls have been second hand purchases, and arrived to me in a wonderful condition. Perhaps this isn't a problem bonding with a second hand doll because it's 'second hand' It sounds more like to me, because the doll was in bad condition and needs fixing it's tainted your love for the doll since you could not enjoy her immediately. Topping it off, you didn't choose it either so it doesn't feel like YOUR doll~ Sorry to hear about your first doll experience, my advice is if you don't like it, and its causing this much heartache, sell it and start over. I know it's hard to sell a doll that has been given to you, but it's more of waste, and hurtful to the person that gave it to you to have it sit around. This time get a doll you want and love.