Why do some collectors choose to not go to meetups?

I'll answer just the questions that I could not respond to with a simple "no."

Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally?
ಠ_ಠ

Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
That depends on the location. There are some places I would not bring my dolls, for security reasons. Other locations, like a dining establishment, a doll would be an impractical object and interfere with other patrons or the staff. I try to be practical and respectful of others when deciding where to bring my dolls.

Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
I showed up to a meet, organized by other people, where I was the only one there. It was pretty lame due to the location being difficult and time-consuming for me to get to (3 hour round trip). Exact same thing happened on the next arranged meet-up. I was even more pissed. So, I stopped going to meet-ups at that location; if no-one else shows up, it's a complete waste a day that could have been more productive. I'll consider attending future meet-ups if the location becomes less of a hassel for me to get to in case everyone else bails again.

 

Once I purchase a doll, I would definitely be open to going to meet ups. A good friend of mine is active here (like many, beyond active when it comes to collecting dolls ) and I would enjoy going to meet ups with her. That being said, I am a professional artist and when commissions come in with their deadlines, socializing is the first activity to be discarded from my To-Do list. Unreliable transportation is another potential issue to attending meet ups as well. However, I do look forward to my first meet up just to see what it is like.

 

Aside from the fact that I live in Hawaii, and there isn't a huge BJD community (at least that I'm aware of), there are several reasons why I don't/wouldn't attend a Doll Meet.

1) I'm notorious for misplacing things. I'm worried that I'd forget my dolls or their body parts, accessories, etc. I have two pukipukis so it would be totally easy to forget about them and leave them behind.

2) I'm a wife and a mom and I work. I don't have much free time to do doll stuff...

3) I am an introvert. I have a few select friends, not a huge posse, and sometimes it is really hard for me to interact socially with others. It takes me a long time to open up...

That basically sums it up for me...

 

Quoted for truth! I've been to a few of these in my time!

Do you feel you're too old or too young? Well, I'm the oldest on in the local group! And I do feel a bit out of place at times. BUT I also arrange the meets and have some responsibility in that regard. I enjoy the meets a lot, even if we don't all talk about anything other than dolls! Dolls are a pretty rich subject and we've been known to kill a 3-4 hours! But sometimes I do feel a bit awkward being old...

Do you think you or your doll won't be liked? I have had my dolls ignored a lot at all different kinds of meets and I've come to expect not to have them fawned over. Though I would LIKE them to be fawned over

Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off? Nahhh. And I wouldn't let that stop me either.

Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally? Well I'm personally 'not much to look at'. And I am acerbic, but I can behave myself in public for the most part!


Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft? Not so much.I don't leave them alone really. Or if I do it's at the meet, and it's a small group, and no one is going to steal them.

Did you or someone else have a bad experience? I have been to meets where everyone is already friends and no one will really engage in me in conversation, where my dolls have been ignored (because they aren't the flavor of the month), where I have felt ignored. Where no one asked me about my dolls (which I do consider rude- it's a doll hobby and that's the entire reason you're there to begin with), and where no one was interested in photographing my dolls, which again, I think is rude, it's WHY your there. I always try to ask people about there dolls, what mold they are, what their name is. Sometimes if I can handle their doll, if it's an interesting one. So when NO ONE asks you anything about your doll it does sting.

Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll? I went to a doll meet before I owned a doll and I don't think it was silly. I got to see a lot of molds and it helped me pick my first doll. I was terrified to touch any of them though. But I would encourage anyone without a doll to go and have a look. It's great to seen dolls in person and you can a feel for what you like.

Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls? LOL! I am the WORST enabler in the Fresno group! And EVERYTHING makes me want to buy dolls. So it doesn't make a difference.

 

I would have a panic attack walking into a crowd of strangers....most of which would be a lot younger than me...
If someone was with me I might give it go...just to see if I would like it. I would love to see all the other dolls!

 

Shouldn't this be merged? http://www.denofangels.com/forums/s...to-go-to-a-meet-(Social-aspects-of-the-hobby)

 

I've gone to a few, no horror stories. lol. The MI people are really nice and very helpful. I think it's really important to talk with the 'local' hobbyists on the meetup thread and get to know each other there first. The main issue is travel. I haven't gone to any in the last few years because can't afford to travel.

 

I haven't been to one, partly because I'm relatively new to the hobby but mostly because I haven't found any that are near me (or at least within travelling distance - hopefully I'll find one on DoA). Also I'm kind of shy so it would be nice if I had someone to go with but no-one I know shares the hobby - hence why I want to go to a meetup so I can get to know some people who share my interest lol. Also the only other problem I can think of about going to a meet up would be how to get my dolls there (I currently have 3, soon to be 4, 60cm Elfdoll girls, a DZ scarecrow Hal and a Luts honey delf Pitta, and possibly a 60cm boy if I get a Luts winter event head and can find him a body ... and I'm hoping to add to that again very soon ) - my big girls are a handful at the best of times lol

 

worry about i may have a crash on other's dolls and that hurt my dolls' feeling~lol but most of doll owner are nice people and easy to get on with though~

 

Goodness, I feel quite blessed with my group - everyone's really friendly and more than happy to answer questions I may have or let me hold their doll. I try to complement everyone because I know it makes people feel good, and there's always something about each doll that I like. I guess I just got lucky, having such a nice group. I've attended at least one meetup every month since my first one in August. I'm even hosting one this Saturday! I hope everyone will have a good time...

I have heard that some groups are quite snotty, so when I went to my first meet in August, I was really apprehensive and embarrassed. My only doll at the time was my RS Yao, Baiul. At the time, she had very basic clothing and a shoddy wig, and I thought people would make fun of me because 1) she wasn't dressed very well and 2) she was Resinsoul/Bobobie. I've gotten the feeling that people either like BBB/RS or hate them. I was pleasantly surprised when nobody made fun of me or put me down. In fact, people said they'd never seen a Yao in person and really liked her! That's what kept me going back - the friendly atmosphere. If there was snobbery or elitism, I would find a different meet to go to, or just quit going entirely.

 

I'd love to go and make new friends, but I don't have a car and there are rarely any in my area. Taking the train to another city isn't much of an option either since it takes a while, can be expensive, and I'd still need to get myself from the station to the meetup site and then back... Gah.

I'm not really shy or anything. All I worry about is the fact that I am really, really, REALLY normal. Like devastatingly normal. Boringly normal. I worry I wouldn't have much to talk about.

 

Do you feel you're too old or too young?
No, there's usually people of all ages.
Do you think you or your doll won't be liked?
Yes, though I don't much care if someone doesn't like my doll.
Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?
Yes, they're really not that great.
Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally?
Yes, I'm quite insecure about my looks and personality.
Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
Theft not so much but damage, yes.
Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
The few times that I went it wasn't great.
Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll?
-
Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?
No, I'll want to do that anyway haha!
Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.)
Yeah, I must say I'm not fond of that kind of behavior

 

I went to my first (and second and third and fourth...) meet before I ever owned a doll. It WAS kind of awkward at first. Everybody else had a TON of resin and I only knew two people, so I was kind of shy at first. Eventually (once they noticed me lol) a couple of them asked if I wanted to hold their dolls. I was sooo scared that I would drop/break them that I barely touched them before I handed them back. But as I got to know people and got to know their dolls, I became more comfortable. I think I got lucky with my doll group. There's not really any drama and the ages are really varied (from under 16 to over 50) and everyone is really nice and there's no judging at all. All of our dolls are precious to us!

 

Actually, none of the above is why I don't go to meetups. OK, perhaps the part about young immature teens. But that's not it either.

I would love to go to a meetup someday, but I have to travel to even get there, and there's not much of them in the first place. I think Im the only one in my town that owns one .__.

And also, Im quite intimidated by some of the doll-owners from the Swedish forum. They're just.. I don't know. Not my kind of people. But when I get the chance I'll definately go to a meetup.

 

I went to only one thus far and I thought it was pretty cool. it was a very small group and there was one person whom I knew there who was busy enabling me to buy accessories since it was held at a doll shop. I can't wait to go to the next one. If the experience is better thanthis one or at least on par i will consider keeping on attendingthese. I have no problem meeting new people or coming togeter with strangers over a commonality between us. That used to be a good way to make friends and in the current cyber world, still happens on DOA and other forums where like minded individuals get to exchange.

 

I never attend ABJD doll meets unless the dolls' meet is part of an anime convention. I meet up with individuals doll collectors whom I already know personally.

 

To be honest, the only real reason I 'avoid' doll meetups is because it's very hard for me to make it to them. I'm currently in college 6 hours away from home (I don't drive), so it's very difficult for me to make it to meetups in St. Louis when I am home (they are often pretty far away from my house or my mom doesn't want to go/is working). I imagine there are probably doll meetups within an hour or two of my college campus (in fact, I'm 90% sure there used to be Kansas City meetups, which is about 2.5 hours away), but again, I can't drive, which nullifies that idea. The only friend I'd really be comfortable asking for a ride is terrified of dolls, so I could never ask her to go somewhere where she'd be surrounded by BJDs.

I don't have any concerns otherwise, though. I was nervous the first time I went to a doll meetup, but not for any of the reasons you listed--it was just general social anxiety! The first meetup I went to, I didn't have a doll and missed, and the second I had a very small doll, but I never felt unwelcome, although I was a bit shy. Even so, I had a lot of fun and enjoyed seeing everyone's dolls and creations.

Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.)

I thought I'd pipe in for this question, since it made me chuckle a little. To be honest, several of the girls at our local meetup were sort of like that, but I definitely don't mind it. Even though they were louder, more outgoing, "sex-crazed" types of people, they were still very nice and respectful to the dolls. Even considering the attitudes of some people, I think MOST people who are really in to BJDs understand the sort of unspoken "rules" that go along with such expensive dolls, and most respect those.

 

The truth about doll meets is that people are people. Some people are amazing. Some people are jerks. You can have both kinds at a doll meet.

We've met some wonderful people at doll meets, but there's also that group of people who think doll meets are for nasty gossip and belittling others and gloating about their expensive/rare/limited dolls. We hosted one at our house when we were fairly new in the hobby. Another newbie asked for help restringing her doll (a CP Dark Elf Soo). She was told, rather rudely by the person she asked, that they 'only did that for friends or when they were commissioned because it was such a pain.' It didn't help that she'd done her doll's faceup herself, and while it was pretty good, it wasn't 'company' or 'perfect.'*

My roommates and I looked at each other, and we promptly had a restringing party with the other newbie when the 'experienced' owner went home! We didn't know what we were doing, but we figured it out. We believe in helping other people love the hobby, not making it more frustrating to enter.

These days, though, we largely don't go to meets because we'd rather be home playing Warcraft. True story.




*This doll had a hand-cut wig and one of the most amazing home-made dresses I've ever seen. Newbies think outside of the box, yo.

 

I would never go to a doll meet because although I love dolls I would be bored senseless if that was all I had in common with the other people there. I also don't go in for crowds and am generally quite reserved and just mix with the friends I have known for years. I guess that means some people will assume I am anti-social but that isn't the case. I'm very sociable with groups of people I know I will get along with but have learnt in my 48 years on the planet that those people are fewer than the people who drive me up the wall.

I also don't think I would be very interested in the other people's dolls to be honest. When I am in the mood to look at other people's dolls I can browse though the gallery or Flickr, if I come across a doll I'm not interested in I just move on and don't have to be put in the socially awkward position of having to say I love someone's doll when I honestly don't. I don't believe in being rude to people about possessions they love so it would have to be that way. I also would feel as though I would have to take one of my dolls along with me and I just don't care to take my dolls out at all. I rarely show my dolls to anyone apart from the photographs I take. Showing off my possessions is just not something I feel comfortable with.

So I guess my answer is that I'm glad so many people love going to doll meets and long may that continue to be so, but I just don't see the appeal.

 

I too am not very good around strangers but the main reason I don't go to meetups is I really can't afford to travel and there usually aren't a lot of them in my area.

Linda From Wisconsin