Why do some collectors choose to not go to meetups?

I think , im just too shy about to go and meet new people. Even if i wanted to , so much but somehow i just can't go. Maybe im scared that if people doesn't like my dolls or me as a person o_o I don't know. Even i know how nice people are ,i still can't go. Heh.. :'D Too shy i say..

I still hope i someday will dare go meetups , it would be fun >3<

 

I don't attend many doll meetups because I don't like bringing my dolls out and about; they're heavy and I usually ride the bus or train to an event. Additionally, there have been many meetups that are simply impractical for me to get to--beyond the radius of where the bus or train can take me. I'm not really up for hiking several miles.

 

Most of the time they're just conflicting with my work schedule. Plus, most of them are pretty far away from me. It's usually late when I get back, even if I have a ride.

 

One part shyness, one part living in the middle of no where, one part insecurity in my doll's awful clothes.

I don't know if I would go even if I was in a more urban area and had better sewing skills, because I like the crafty aspect of the hobby better than the social part.

 

I've thought about going to some of the meet-ups near me but I have a large collection and even only taking a few of them would be a big effort so I've just never found the time to do it yet. Also, since most meet-ups occur in very public places, I'm not particularly fond of the looks I would get as a grown woman hauling a bunch of dolls around. Yeah, I know I shouldn't care about things like that but it makes me really self-conscious.

 

I refuse to go to any of the Kansas meets due to a past incident with a large group of, sorry, whiney brats who sadly were mixed teens and adults. I also refuse to go because I'm seriously disabled and don't feel like explaining what's wrong with me. Another reason, a friend purposely broke one dolls fingers so now I only have my First Travel Dahlia out and I would cause serious bodily harm to anyone who touched her period. So I guess I don't trust any, nor are they friendly towards newer people, serious high school cliques. I go to meets in other states though, they seem more friendly, welcoming and in a lot of case sensitive to what's wrong with me. How's that as an answer or did you want more detail?

 

I haven't been to a meet-up in almost two years now. I don't really hate them but I don't particularly enjoy them either. They are kind of stressful for me.

First I have to pick who is going and make sure they are dressed nicely. Then I have to figure out where the event is and how to get there since I don't drive. Then there is the actual meet. Most of the people in the area are nice but much younger than me and they all seem to know each other from the Convention Scene. Plus I am super shy so that doesn't help at all. When my dear friend was attending the meets he had the ability to engage nearly everyone who came. I just don't have that talent.

And while my dolls are nice they don't seem to attract attention like the latest Soom monthly or what ever people are into right now. My doll esthetic is stuck in 2005. Lots of volks and delfs. Most exotic one I have is an elf and one crazy looking demon.

I might give it another go down the line but for now I am okay with just chatting and posting online.

 

I haven't been to a meet yet, but I hope to go. I have, however, had opportunity to before, and avoided it.
Yes, I am NOT a social butterfly. Even in groups with my "friends" I feel left out, and sometimes purposefully ignored, because I GUESS something is just wrong with me to them. I only really have one very close friend, and she's someone that I met online, and talked to for years, before I met her in person...
I'm hoping DoA might help me out in the meet deparment, perhaps I can get to know some people before I have to actually see them... But it still comes down to OTHER issues...

Your ideas?

Do you feel you're too old or too young? Too young. I've noticed there are a LOT of older doll owners in my area, and at 19 I feel incredibly awkward.
Do you think you or your doll won't be liked? That's always a paranoia, for both. Usually I don't worry about my doll, but I always feel awkward about the character doll thing.. Yeah... One of my BJD's isn't an OC, but is that a problem? Mentally, I feel like it would be with most the community.
Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off? Florian has, 90% of the time, a very casual "I'm a guy" type wardrobe... And Jezabel only has a shirt and pants right now, his wardrobe isn't complete, and I'm fearful of the "Well, if you can't afford it stay out of the hobby" attitude.
Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally? Always. Constantly. :/
Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
Eh, someone. In someones house I think I'd feel my doll was safe, but IIII wouldn't feel comfortable. And in public, I would feel comfortable, but I would worry about leaving my boys anywhere. >.<
Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
I haven't, I've just heard stories, and fabricated things that might go wrong in my head. XD;;
Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?
Nope! It might make me want new dolls, but I'm not the type to impulse buy, I need to dwell on it for awhile. Now, clothing and wigs on the other hand...
Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.)
XD Nope, not really. That's my friends job. "Your doll has junk... ... ... Can I see his junk?"
I'm... Not really offended by those questions. Anyone new to the hobby, who doesn't know anything... Yeah, they're used to sexless ken bodies, and they're curious. It doesn't bother me much, as long as I'm the one undressing my dolls for them.

 

Wow. I hear all these meet-up horror stories. I went to one and it was amazing. The Ohio BJD group is so sweet and accepting. I even talked to people that I would meet there online first, so I didn't feel so out of place.
I will probably miss a lot of doll meets, because I live in a part of Ohio that's at least an hour and a half away from every meet. Most meets are in Cincinnati, which is three hours away. :\

 

I don't go to meets because they're in a part of town that's really difficult to get to even if you live near it--Pittsburgh has a lot of "You can't get there from here" locations, and this is one of the best examples, at least from the part of town I live in. I also really don't feel the social need, I'm a pretty happy hermit.

 

I was sort of set on going to a meet up, but the closest one near me suddenly stopped meeting; then there was one further away that I thought I couldn't get to, so never made plans to do so... but then someone told me it wasn't far away, and totally doable, so we went and I had a good time.

I learned, for a first-timer, first meet ups are what you decide to make of it. I was usually someone who doesn't like to say much, and wait for others to come to me, but then I realized that I came all this way, and I'm not going to spend it by sitting in a corner. I came because I wanted to go to one of these things, so I have to make the best of it; if that means getting a little uncomfortable and asking questions, so be it.

I did kind of feel like my doll was bigger than all of the other MSD's - except for the Pado - because my doll was an immature MSD, and all the other MSD's seemed like slim mini's or mature MSD's.

My doll was hardly fawned over, but I was OK with that (I was too nervous to really let my doll go everywhere). What I can suggest to people who are worried that their doll isn't going to get attention: promote your doll. You might get into a conversation with someone who is talking about something you have encountered with your doll, and bring up your own experience. You can't wait for someone to get interested in your doll.

 

My first doll meet was at a park over a year ago or maybe 2 yrs. The only thing I was having anxiety about was getting there on time..lol..It wasn't too far from me but I am horrible with directions. I made and it was a good time. I found them to be quite friendly and they didn't mind me asking a gazilion questions since I was new in the hobby.
I'm not the most social or a hermit..kinda just fall inbetween I've always kinda felt like an outsider at most social events like I didn't quite fit in and still do to a certain point...but I think this hobby and going to meets has helped alot. I've not had a bad experience yet, hopefully I don't so the only thing that would keep me from a meetup is either it being too far away or having other plans.
I'm not to concerned with if people will like my dolls or not, although I do find they get less attention then most at when I do go..but hey I'm there to socialize and I love seeing other people's dolls and learning about new companies and such.
I guess I've been lucky just like PuffsxPlus said the Ohio meets have been lots of fun and great all around people.

 

I'm not even sure if my area has meet-ups but the main factors to me would be where and when and if my two daughters are also allowed to come.

 

My biggest reason (or so I tell myself) is that there are no meetups that I know of within a reasonable driving distance of where I live. Even if there was I probably wouldn't go, though. I have severe anxiety issues in those situations (large crowds, unfamiliar people/places) and I don't know anyone in real life who I could take with me so I didn't feel so anxious. Even though I know it would probably never actually happen, I'm a little terrified that if I did ever go to a meet my dolls would get attacked for not being expensive/professional/nice enough. Or even worse, I wouldn't know something important that everyone else did (like 'don't use oils' level of obvious). I'd be so nervous about doing something wrong I wouldn't enjoy myself at all.

Sheesh, even just thinking about it is getting me all jittery.

 

I think the words 'not worthy of showing off' pretty much puts the nail in the coffin for me. Today I was at the health store buying coffee and cigarettes.. just kidding.. Anyhow, The puffy middle aged guy behind me broke out into song with elaborate arm gestures and such and I didn't even twitch. In my head I kept thinking all this guy is thinking right now is: "Look at me, look at me'!!!! "I'm so wonderful".. and indeed, when his song didn't garner enough attention, he started talking really loudly about his 'auditions'. I wanted to PUKE. I'm not showy and I don't do well in situations where people are fighting for attention and that is my interpretation of a dolly meet. I could be completely wrong, but you still will not find me at one. LoL Oh, and peace to all of you who enjoy them!!! Seriously, no offense.. just not my cup o' tea.

 

I don't think doll people are fighting for attention at meetups... or here on the forum, really.

I know that I do like to dress up my dolls and post photos or bring them to meetups, but I'm not trying to get attention. If no one looks, that's their business. People can look or not look. I don't care.

I'm older and I really don't need attention. I'm not going to meets to be in a clique or force people to pay attention to me or my dolls. I just enjoy dolls and enjoy looking at other dolls and talking about dolls. I think most people are this way. Of course there ARE people who need attention, but getting into dolls isn't really a great way to get attention (although, I suppose carrying dolls around everywhere can achieve that. I never like doing that, though). They should start singing like that crazy idiot, maybe?

 

The only reason I don't go to meet-ups? I don't know when any of them are going on ^^" I'm from Brisbane (Aus) and I'm still pretty new to the scene having only one doll and another on the way. I'd still really like to go to a meet-up and hang out with people who share this awesome hobby

 

I would never go to a large doll meet up with a lot of people. I'm a pretty introverted person and the larger of a crowd I'm around, the more they are just a drain on my energy. I would only go to small doll meetups with only a handful of people or less.

 

i think my problem is the social thing. although op said that this a reason that's given and we shouldn't need to elaborate, i feel like maybe we should. sometimes i feel like the same people are always attending doll meets in my area and although everyone's usually really really nice, i still feel like i'm the weird kid trying to sit at the pretty girls' table in the cafeteria. some doll people to new doll people, can seem somewhat elitist and intimidating. at the few doll meets i've been to, i've somewhat kept to myself and only spoke to others briefly when they initiated conversation.

i'm hoping to gradually become more active in the community and go to more meets eventually. like with anything, baby steps.

 

None of the listed things.
I just don't feel I have much in common with most people who attend meets. Yes, we obviously have this hobby in common, but just because I like dolls doesn't mean I like every doll or am interested in every doll.
Because it is easier to bring smaller dolls are msds and smaller most common on meets. I have no interests in these whatsoever.
I would feel that it would be very awkward and weird to go to a meet and feign interest in dolls that I personally don't see as anything special. And... I don't want to comment on peoples dolls unless I have something nice to say.

Also I have a bit of a difficult taste, which is mostly limiting for me because this makes be not able to enjoy meets as much as I would like to.
I have a bit of a problem with the feeling (that I assume that everyone has?) that my own doll is the most beautiful here.
If I were to attend meets, it would be for the chance to meet new people and their dolls, to be inspired by all the prettyness. But I usually just can't get past that all the dolls (while pretty) are fairly unispiring to me.

If there would be a meet with a theme, for example 18th century, vampires, fairies, forests, wedding, whatever. Then I might consider going.
Or if I went to a meet that was officially "Mostly for SDs".

I'll probably just stick to my own dolls, because I like them best.