Why do some collectors choose to not go to meetups?

I always want to go to the ones here but I'm always really busy on weekends Q_Q

 

I could actually make up a lot of reasons for not attending meetups.
But my biggest problem is my work. I have a fulltime job and work 1 out of 2 weekends. And the meetings usually are in the weekends.
On top of that there is the fact that I travel between countries often and that I do not always drag my guys with me.
They stay at my parents sometimes.
Language problem in French speaking part of Belgium, my dolls being oddballs, flaunting dolls in public.....things like that

 

I live in a rural area and I don't know of a soul around here that collects BJDs never mind holding meets. There is a doll club in the area but it doesn't look like their club covers any of the types of dolls I own. I am working on joining the club anyway but since I'm agoraphobic it's slow going. I think if there was a doll meet somewhere near to me that my family would see to it that I went if they had to drag me.

I know a lot of people I have met online are afraid to go to meet ups because of negative experiences they have had online with other people who are unnecessarily mean and yes, elitist about what dolls they collect. Do I worry about this? Not really. If someone comes at me about the type, brand, style or aesthetic of the dolls I collect I'm more then likely to tell them to piss off at this point.

Stopping now before I hit rant speed.

 

I go to meetups when I can. Sometimes work and other things in life get in the way, however, I try to stay in touch with some of the folks I have become friendly with. I belong to several doll clubs because I collect a
variety of dolls, some of them are not necessarily bjds. I love going to see other people's dolls because I'm at a point where I can't buy a doll just because I see a picture, I have ordered like that and have been
disappointed a few times. I also like being around people that enjoy the same kind of hobby, even if their
dolls are not necessarily what I like or collect. My meetup experiences have all been positive and I hope they continue to be.
collect. Luckily, I have never had a bad time at a meetup.

 

Simple answer: crippling social anxiety and the fact that I live in the middle of nowhere.

 

I'm a pretty outrageous and loud person, I love to have fun... with people I know. If I don't know you, I'm unbearably shy which makes meeting new people difficult and stressful. Yugami said it the best: crippling social anxiety. You'd think after almost 30 years on this earth I'd be over it. But no. Outside of DoA I know no one with BJDs.

I also have work and school full time. It makes personal time practically nonexistent. The summer has eased that up a bit but I'm working at a place that doesn't let us preplan out time.. Also, most meets are like 2 hours away from me. I'm close to Tampa and it seems ALL the meets are in Orlando. So that's 4 hours of driving my stupid clunker so I can be awkwardly shy...

 

My first meetup, I was virtually ignored. I tend to be shy and the place was packed so I just waited to be noticed. Only about two people gave me any consideration. Someone was collecting money and I didn't know what for, they never approached me. Here it was everyone going in on lunch. Of course, once the whole place smelled like food I had to leave. First meet was a pretty pathetic memory.

After that, I got to realize how there made entirely of cliques. Even though I managed to make my way into one, I saw the cycle repeat itself to newcomers who mostly did not return. After my first meet, I didn't really want to go back but I was determined to be part of this. Same with sticking around here. I'm not always treated well, but it's all I have. I don't go to meets anymore.

When people mistreat your doll because they didn't keep their end of a deal and others forfeit their friendship because you married someone they didn't approve of - it kind of just all adds up at that point.

 

I'm an extremely shy person in public, which makes it really difficult to associate with others at meetups. Even at school, I find it difficult to go up to someone I don't talk to often and ask them a simple question, and those are people I know. It's much worse at a meetup where I'm unfamiliar with my surroundings and with the people there.

That being said, it's not that the people are what bother me, it's really just my own social anxiety...and maybe the fact that the last time, my friend and I were the youngest people there by far, which made associating a bit awkward. I've been getting over that somewhat though, so maybe at some point I'll try going to a meetup again...

 

I only go to 2 or 3 a year because I simply don't have that much free time! I do enjoy them when I can go, but I usually have far too many things I need to attend to on my day off to allow myself such a big, uninterrupted chunk of fun time.

 

I want to go to a doll meet, but I a) don't have my driver's license yet and my mother would rather not go with me, b) I don't know anyone there and I get really shy in front of people I don't know, and c) they are usually a couple of hours from where I live (in the middle of the mitten), so gas prices are an issue. Plus, I am a wee bit on the awkward social side; either you get my humor or you don't. And most people don't.

But mostly, it's just because I live on a farm in the middle of nowhere without any real form of transportation and gas prices tend to be a bit on the high side lately. When I do get my driver's license, I'm still not sure if I would go or not. I still wouldn't have my own car, plus I'm gone from home 60% of the year at college.

As I said, I would like to go, but it's just not in the cards right now or in the short, foreseeable future.

 

@EmbracedLight I know what you mean, I'm planning to go to the Orlando meet in July for my first meet - 4 hour drive from Miami. You should come anyway, it shouldn't be so bad. I'll talk to you so they won't even know you're shy!

 

Well none of the reasons listed are really a concern to me. To me it boils down to a few things.
First, I have very little free time most days, and the few times of peace and quiet I do get 98% of the time the last thing I want is to be around a lot of people. I hope that doesn't come off as unfriendly, but most of my time is spent handling other people and their problems. My alone time is very precious to me when I do get it XD.

Second do to financial reasons my transportation is pretty much kept to what is absolutely necessary, Most of the time i'll walk to places if it's close enough but i'm in a rural town and have never seen a doll meet thread for anywhere within walking distance.

Lastly I have a slight phobia of germs and I don't like being in busy public places for too long or in the homes of people I don't know very well.

 

I'm not self-conscious about myself or my dolls. I can be a little awkward at first with people, but I don't usually make a BAD impression, and that's good enough for me. I've been to one meet-up, and I had a great time and got very constructive critique on a face-up. I would imagine that a fair portion of people who avoid meet-ups are concerned about meeting mean people, but the group I met with were the nicest people. If I'm ever again in town when there is something planned, I'd definitely want to attend again.

 

I don't go to meet ups because no one here is a BJD collector so there are no meet ups^^; and even if there were BJD meet ups, I would not go alone. I would go only if a friend goes with me because meeting new people scares me! >__< I'm shy so I'd be trembling and feeling anxious the whole time unless someone I know is by my side.

 

I'm kind of conflicted about going to meet-ups. On one hand, I am socially awkward as hell and do NOT enjoy being around people I don't know very well. There has to be someone there that I know, either in person, or someone I know from online and want to meet.
On the other hand, I don't know anybody offline who has any interest in my hobbies, and I would like to be around more people who love BJD's as much as I do.

I guess the social and anxiety issue are the main reason, though lack of funds and transportation doesn't help(Especially since the meet I actually want to GO to is in Wisconsin. Two whole states away).

 

I'd LIKE to go to a meet up, but whenever one is held in my area, I can't make it. :'C I'm too busy and have so much going on... Maybe later this summer though!

 

I went to one once it was pretty fun most of the people were very nice. However one girl called my dollmore girl a walmart doll. I guess because dollmore sells lots of stuff(?), I thought that was rude but over all I made some cool friends and its nice to see peoples dolls and faceups!

 

Because I'm always so bloody busy! I mean I've been to one meet up and it was really fun, but I don't like waiting around for people when they're late or don't show up (I know, sorry) and I honestly need to get on with my university work.

Maybe now that summer is here! Unless I'm working- I hope I'm working!

 

I personally like going to meetups but i have heard from others that they are afraid they just wont fit in or that the connection that they have with the doll comunity just wont bridge into teh real world.

 

I only go to meetings in my home town... mostly because I have a phobia with train & car rides and also fear too many people. But I'm working on that problem. Since I started to collect dolls I go out to public places a little more compared before and have already met some wonderful doll friends in my town.