Why do some collectors choose to not go to meetups?

I'm a very very social person but what keeps me from going to any dolly meeting is the fact that everybody will be touching my dolls and sometimes this 'respect' to the owner and it's dolls is lost, you know... I don't know how to say that plus the fact that there's no other doll collectors in all the entire state and I'm underage so I cant go to other meetups out of here ;w;

 

Because there are not any in my area :'D

Although I do think the fact that I would have to drive at least an hour to get to a meetup does make me more self conscious about going. In response to your questions part of me is a bit afraid the other collectors would think I'm too young. I'm not really concerned about whether people like my dolls are not...the only issue with that would be that I buy a lot of really popular sculpts but I'm not self-conscious about my dolls, just myself!

 

I actually do want to go, but it is difficult for me due to distance, so I've only gone twice in the last year. I guess I will go through the questions anyway:

Do you feel you're too old or too young?
Nope, as long as I'm not the only adult with a bunch of teenagers (I'm a teacher...that would be too much like going to work )


Do you think you or your doll won't be liked?
Not really. I am very introverted, though, and have trouble being myself around new people. I do want to get to know more people in the hobby, though.


Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?
No, this doesn't bother me.


Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally?
Not really, though as previously mentioned, I am very introverted and it takes a while to let the "real me" come through with new people.


Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
No, so far, everyone has been really careful with all the dolls, and I only bring a small number that I can keep track of easily.


Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
No, I haven't.


Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll?
N/A. I have dolls.


Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?
That ship has sailed. Going to meets made me want a Volks doll (I bought an MSD F-13, and want an F-20) and a Minifee (just bought a head yesterday...the body will have to come later). I like seeing dolls in person.


Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.)
No, and based on their behavior on DoA, I don't think they would act this way in person either. Although, as I said before, this would feel too much like going to work, so I'm glad the group I've attended is made up of adults.

 

I've been to a couple meetings (both at Dragon*Con) but it was awkward. While I enjoyed seeing other peoples' dolls, they were always dressed to the nines in frilly and poofy dresses while I'm sitting there trying to showing off my tomboys XD Needless to say they didn't get quite as much attention, just because they weren't dressed up frilly. I guess I'd just be more comfortable around more normal-dressed dolls? Dunno.

 

Do you feel you're too old or too young?
Sometimes I feel a bit old, but I think my age falls in with the average group (lates 20's)

Do you think you or your doll won't be liked?
Not really, the one meetup I did attend I brought 3 dolls that I liked - my 1st doll, a Limhwa Luna, and an IOS Blood (since people seem to like Bloods )

Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?
Nah, my dolls are dressed nicely, not foofy though. The meetup I did attend pretty much had everyone's doll dressed cutesy and foofy, so I did feel my dolls weren't dressed to fit in. (I have a couple cutiepie snuggle-fluffs, don't get me wrong)

Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally?
Well of course I am. No one likes to be judged for the way they look or anything like that, but you know you will be.

Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
Theft a little bit. I'm not really the type to just up and leave my kids or their somewhere unattended.

Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
The 1st and only meetup I attended pretty much completely turned me off from the whole thing. It was a meet up at an anime convention a couple of years ago and it was fairly unpleasant. There were only 2 people who talked to my girlfriend and I, and the one that was the nicer of the 2 left after just a little bit because she was treated the same way we were. Everyone sat in a circle on the floor and LITERALLY turned their backs to the 4/5 of us who didn't know everyone already and some even shot us dirty looks over their shoulders. There was one particularly loud-mouthed person going on about how big her doll's boobs were and another one who did that "WELL, MY doll is a BLAH BLAH BLAH *proceeds to hold it up as if it were hand-crafted by the GODS* (lol its pretty funny now that I think about it). It was just a cruddy experience over-all :l. While a few people mumbled something about "the red-heads" being pretty during picture time, no one really extended themselves beyond that. I can be fairly shy, but not unreasonably so, and my girlfriend is even less so, so I'm not sure what the problem was.

Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll?
*looks at doll herd* ... :'3 no.

Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?
God yes. I get caught by this with owner pictures! In person would be even worse.

Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.)
Lol not teenagers, but I am a little worried about people being rough or stupid (for lack of better words) with my dolls. I don't want my girl flipped upside down to look at her what-nots and totally tangle up her hair. We collect dolls, we've all seen doll weenies and lady bits and boobs. That being said, checking out a body or marveling over option parts is fun as long as in consensual. No dolly eye-raping lol.

 

Do you think you or your doll won't be liked?
Personally, I've never been really fond of showing my hobbies to people in person because I'm super shy and I wont' even know what to talk about and I feel I won't even talk because I have pretty bad social anxiety to begin with. For me, just showing through photos and posting online is much easier than seeing someone face to face... :/ I dunno. Haha.
Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?
I suppose this might be the case as I'm still new and sewing is really hard, especially for something so small. I mean, I don't really sew to begin with, but... Yeah. I guess this would be the case.
Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
I am EXTREMELY clumsy. I don't know even a few people who are as clumsy as me. I trip on air, walk into walls/posts/tables, I have bad reaction time(I freeze when something happens for a few seconds before my mind can process what's going on) and I tend to be in a daze a lot. I am pretty sure I would cause some damage to myself and my dear if that were the case...
Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
My friend actually had her doll abducted for a while before someone found her. It was terrifying watching my friend become scared and anxious and just a mess because someone thought it would be cool to take their doll.
Also, my friend told me she had her doll on a table and someone knocked it over by accident. Nothing too damaging, thank goodness, but still a fright to my friend.
So... Yeah.

 

Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?
This is one reason - the majority of my dolls are naked at the moment, because I haven't had time to sew them outfits yet. I do have a couple of good-quality outfits, though, so this isn't the entire reason.

Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
This is another reason. I'm a bit of a control freak, and feel safer having my dolls out when I know I'm not near any other people (or animals) at all. Most meets seem to be in crowded urban areas, which isn't my ideal place to take my dolls

Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.)
Not necessarily that specific scenario, but yes, I am concerned about possibly entering a situation where people might have very different ideas about appropriate boundaries than I do. It seems that there's no real way to be certain, before you attend a meet, whether it's the sort where everyone asks before touching and respects people's desire to keep their dolls to themselves, or whether it's the sort where dolls are seen as a kind of public property and people will be grabby and confused if you try to minimise other people handling your doll.

I'll probably get over all these things eventually (I could probably just attend a meet without any of my dolls and solve all my problems at once ), but they're the main reasons I haven't attended a meet yet.

 

I've been invited to a couple meet-up arouns my are, but I've chosen not to go because I haven't yet bought a doll. I know the people there and the girl who invited me wouldn't think anything of it, but I think that not having a doll to bring and share mean I shouldn't be at a meet-up yet.

Can't wait to go to one tho... I've had most of my questions answered, but not in a meet-up setting yet. Should be fun. It also means I can make a fancy travel bag

 

The one thing I didn't like going to the meet-ups was the one time, and it was enough to kinda turn me off...the location was at a park. A very active park. I remember one of the girl's having to rescue a doll being left for a mere second after a kid nearly knock it over. The other one I went to while three hrs away? Much better because it was in a home of doll-owners. So, everyone who went didn't have to worry about the safety of their dolls. Oh and it wasn't outside in the bright sun.

Anywho...the three peeps (including me) in my direct area can get together and have our own mini-doll meets now. Nice, small and not too crowded.

 

Personally, I don't have a BJD yet, but I went to a BJD social at a con once a few years ago, and I wasn't impressed. It was basically just a half dozen or so small groups keeping to themselves and fussing with their dolls. I walked in with a friend of mine and tried to strike up a convo with some people, asking about their dolls and such, but I really just didn't feel welcome at all. And this was after being invited to the social by a girl at a water fountain holding her MSD boy and letting me take a pic of him. I didn't see that girl at the meet, either.

That's my only IRL experience with the BJD community so far, so :/

 

I've never been to a doll meet because as far as I know there aren't any where I am, at least not regularly, and even if there was a meet I imagine it would probably be on a weekend and I work weekends.
Other than that, I'm a little nervous of meeting new people, and very nervous about taking my dolls out in public. It's not that I think they'll get damaged, although I do hate letting other people handle them. It's more that carrying around a doll is not a normal thing to do, and I don't like drawing attention to myself. I would waaay prefer to go to a private meet at someone's house. In fact, I would really love to go to that kind of meet. I think it would be more fun and relaxed than going to a big meet.

 

I don't go because I have anxiety issues and the thought of trying to get somewhere where I live makes me rage panic. I don't drive and public transit makes my head spin. If it took place within walking distance it would be somewhat easier.

I would LOVE to go to them though!

 

I choose not to go for security and safety reasons. I love my dolls too much to expose them to any type of risk. I rarely even take my dolls out in my own backyard, I doubt I'll ever warm up to the idea of lugging them outside my home with people I'm not familiar with. And going to a meet without a doll seems a bit silly to me ^-^

I did meet up with someone once in order to purchase a doll once. The doll in question was a Volks Chii. The seller did not want to accept paypal.
The only way I was going to allow myself to pay cash (or in this case, with a money order) for a doll is if I saw and examined her in person. There was no other alternative.
So, I begged my fiance to make the drive with me one weekend, which was about 4 hours. We took many precautions, I wrote up a contract, I told multiple people exactly where I was going to be and we met in a public place.

After getting lost, we finally met up. Over all the experience was uncomfortable for me, but I REALLY wanted this sculpt.
The seller was nice, he took her out and didn't mind letting me handle her, he even let his dog come around her (something that would personally make me cringe if the roles were reversed).
However, in the end I was just not satisfied with her condition.

I had deliberately purchased money orders for a fixed amount, and had the remaining balance in cash in order to be able to negotiate if there were any issues I was not happy with.
The deal fell through over $28, yes, $28 for a doll I was paying $1,300 for.

All that time and effort was wasted, god forbid I mention the name of the town we traveled to to my fiance, I'll risk getting a thwack on the head! (I love you Frankie!!!)

But the story does have a happy ending! I ironically, I ended up purchasing another Chii sight-unseen on Yahoo Japan several months later and I love her dearly.

I AM looking forward to Dollism Plus US 2014, it will be my first doll-related event, my dolls however, will NOT be coming with me

 

I enjoy going to meets sometimes, but the biggest problem I have is being the odd man out. Every time I meet up with the people in my area, I never know what they're talking about, or I'm just not interested in what they're talking about. I always thought the point of doll meets were to talk about...dolls! So it always throws me off when they talk about Pokemon or Yugioh and I usually have to wait for the subject to change before I chime into conversation. Nine times out of ten, I'm the person at the meet that just doesn't talk, shop meets are the only exception to the rule.

 

I don't often go because I generally feel a little awkward at meets, even if there's people I know present. Between that, and my work schedule usually preventing me from attending, I generally just go it alone and poke around DoA for the most part.

 

The only reason I've never been to one is because people don't hold doll meets where I live. I would definitely go with my sister if I had the chance -___-

 

JeeNoo, Have you or your sister thought about organizing one yourselves?

I wish my sister was interested in BJDs!

 

I would really love to go to a meet, but there are several reasons why I haven't so far... The main one being that from what I've seen they're usually an hour or two away from where I live, and I'm not comfortable driving long distances by myself. Another reason is that I get nervous when I'm around people I don't know, and I feel like it would be sort of awkward since I have never even talked to some one who would be at a meetup Maybe some day I'll get over it and finally get to one. At least I hope so.

 

Wow, no. I haven't. I don't know a lot of people who own BJDs around here. But it would be nice if I did. I might actually consider looking...thank you!

I hope you make your sister fall in love with BJDs. It's great having someone around who shares the same hobby.

 

I can't help but notice that a majority of these posts have proximity as a reason for not going to meetups :/

I've seen Google maps that people can make where you can add yourself as a 'pin' on the map to show where you are in relation to other people, I think one of those would be good for the meetup section of the forum!