Why do some collectors choose to not go to meetups?

I love meet-ups and I go to as many as I can (yes even if they are held in som strange persons living room in the middle of fucking nowhere X''D... but I always go with someone I know ofc)
I don't have my doll yet but I can't see how that should stop me.
I am a bit... afraid of larger groups but to almost all the meets I been to they have always welcomed me and let me help them with their dolls.

 

May some are shy with many people looking at them with their dolls.....

 

I would rather use the time to do something else, not to mention where I live now there is no one. When I lived in a bigger city, it felt like the local doll people had a bit of a social clique thing before, and I wasn't terribly interested in revisiting junior high. I've gotten together with one person a few times, but for all the effort it takes to get together, I'd rather not mess with it again.

 

I like meetups, but there has been a rift between various people in my local doll community and I feel somewhat disloyal and uncomfortable if I go to either group's meetings, so I just stay at home. It's a shame because I like everyone, for the most part. Another reason is because I don't collect Volks dolls. Almost everyone else here seems to be a Volks expert and they talk endlessly about Volks various face molds, etc., which may be fascinating to them, but as I have nothing to add to these discussions, I feel like the invisible woman. I love going to conventions, however, because there are lots of people like me who have eclectic collections of dolls, not limited to one or two companies.

 

I don't refuse so much as more often than not I just can't make it. Partly because they're held far enough away from me that my poor old car just won't make it. Poor Bartolamew falls apart often enough, rattling down I-70 would be a mess. So if my friend isn't able to come get me in exhange for gas money and things like that, or if its not held closer, I just don't go.

Also I have social anxiety, and it makes large groups of people, even ones I know well, rather uncomfortable. In general I can talk to two or three people at a time, but much more and I start to withdraw. It sucks, but its a system I can live with an not become a complete hermit. ^-^; So generally I pick a couple of people at the meet that seem friendly enough to converse with and stick too them. Or I find my friend and sort of, lean into her. She doesn't seem to mind much, if she did she'd say so.

It makes me feel better when I can go, that my little wallet-friendlier dolls from RS/BBB and DZ aren't alone, since others have dolls from the same companies also. ^-^ I think if there were a ton of really expensive nice dolls (not that any of their dolls are awful, some of them are amazing) I would be uncomfortable displaying Liina or Tanso next too them. I can understand someone not wanting to attend because they were afraid of how their resin folk would look in the group. ^-^

As a matter of fact, the last meet I went too was held in the yard/house (it started raining) of a woman I don't know particularly well, and the first one was held at the apartment of a woman I didn't know at ALL! XD But that lovely wonderful and fabulous friend of mine took me, and she knew the women fairly well, so I figured it was safe enough, since they were voluntarilly opening their homes to a group of crazy doll people. ^-^; Although had I been alone I may have chickened out and not shown up and made some pathetic excuse for myself, ah the workings of social anxiety strike again~!

XD *toddles off from her long babble*

 

Do you feel you're too old or too young?
I'm 21, which is in the younger age bracket, but I'm usually not the only one that age there. When I was younger, I used to have a wretched fear of adults and speaking to them, but I find many adults in the doll community to be very approachable.

Do you think you or your doll won't be liked?
Not really. I know that it is not going to be one of the stars of the show. I didn't buy Adelheid to show her off. If she is well like, I will be very flattered as I make an effort to keep her looking very pretty. I am very shy and I don't smile all that much so some people think that I am a snob. It's sort of frustrating, but it usually passes in time.

Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?
For meets, I tend to dress dolls in the best outfits, especially while I only have one of them. I'm really picky about outfits in general. Last time I went to a meet-up, a few people got more excited over my doll's Dollheart outfit than the doll itself. That said, I usually don't have to worry about this.

Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally?
I don't show off in general. I find it hard to do that. As I mentioned a few questions ago, I am very shy. As for being afraid of what people think of me, I am not. What people want to think is entirely up to them.

Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
This is not something I worry about with one or two larger dolls. However, I would be VERY hesitant to leave a Puki or another smaller doll sitting out on a table.

Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
Only from what I've read here about dolls being stolen, which usually tend to be the smaller ones.

Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll?
Not at all! I went to my first meet-up before I bought my first doll to really be able to see what they're like and to learn a lot more about them. If I could wish for one thing for every member of the doll community, it would be to feel comfortable with going to meet-ups, even without a doll.

Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?
Actually no. I have not found myself to be terribly covetous in this hobby. I had to really force myself to buy my second doll.

Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.)
To be honest, I half expected this at my first meet-up. This was not the case at all, haha.

 

Do you feel you're too old or too young?
No I don't think that at all I think DoA has shown there is a wide age range of enjoyment in this hobby and I know that the collectors in Ohio are all over the place in age
Do you think you or your doll won't be liked?
That one is an honest concern....I am still really new to the hobby and I have one of the less expensive Chinese dolls and I know some people have a real dislike for those dolls and their owners
Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?
That is not a concern of mine at all....Sure Carter has few clothes now and most of them are hand made and those not the best quality but I have never been a person concerned with fashion or trends or expensive clothes so it isn't something I consider important in the hobby not that I don't think that changing their clothes and dressing him isn't fun because it is and not that I can't admire some of the beautiful clothes out there I just know that if I went to a meet I would be happy with what Carter was wearing and would by no means care if it impressed someone else....does that make sense?
Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally?
I am always worried about that! LOL but not enough to keep me from going to a meet I think that in any hobby there are definatly different groups and sometimes those groups don't mess well so I can see how that could be a deterrent even if it wasn't so much that the person didn't feel worthy but more that they didn't fit in....like an older collector who is into more traditional victorian style dolls who goes a meet up what is mostly goth kids with peirced dolls...that would I am sure make the more traditional collector pause for a moment
Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
Nah....I think that doll meets can be a place where they could get stolen if it was at a CON or something but mostly I think that is not so much a worry....Damage either...although accidents happen and I might be a little leary of rough handling I would assume that anyone at a meet would know how to handle a BJD
Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
nope never been to a meet before
Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll?
that was why I didn't go to the last meet up in my area...it was because I didn't have a doll and I would have felt silly going also kinda left out and lonely because everyone elsew ould be playing with and posing and taking picturs of their doll and I wouldn't have one....
Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?
HA HA HA I hadn't even thought of that one but....definatly a possibility LOL
Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked?
That's just silly LOL
Why don't you or someone you know attend?
Mostly for me it is an issue of transportation....I don't drive so it is hard for me to get to meet ups and because I haven't been a meet up I haven't met anyone so even if people in the forums offer to car pool if someone helps with gas I am always too shy to speak up and say...OH ME ME because I don't know them and they in turn don't know me so a long car ride could be....ackward...

 

I was leary of going to a DoA meet the first time because people from other groups who had been to DoA meets had told me that the DoA meets were unfriendly - cliques leaving you isolated and with no one to talk to if you weren't already "in" with one of the cliques that was there.

At that first meet - and at the others I've been - to, I could see how easy it would be to feel out of place if I weren't used to just chatting to anyone no matter what their age or appearance - I stand out like a sore thumb among the goths and emos that seem to make up the majority of people who attend the London DoA meets. If I weren't a costumer,and reenactor and more than used to being aorund people in all manner of "outlandish" outfits, it could have been a very very offputting crowd to suddenly find myeslf among.

My dolls also don't "fit in" with the majority of dolls at the meets I've been to.

In my gang, pretty smocked and embroidered dresses predominate, and bright colours.... not at all like the black-clad, spike-haired, leather, chain and torn-fishnet look of the majority of dolls brought along.

I'm also a lot older than most (but my no means all) of them, and that's often a big barrier for people, particularly shy ones.

Fortuantely, I'm pretty oblivious to age or cultural barriers and everyone at my first meet was really friendly and chatty - a real fun crowd, so it's a pleasure to keep going along to them.

Teddy

 

That's how I felt before I forced myself to go to a meet around here! I'm horribly shy... I'll still say I'm no where near the chattiest person there, but I don't really stand OUT because of it.


Do you feel you're too old or too young?
Not anymore, no. When I first joined DoA I was barely 14. Now being 19 and in college has put me around the average age here.

Do you think you or your doll won't be liked?
Not really, at least not openly. Honestly, I'm not really concerned if other people don't like him OR me tooo much.

Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?
Not what Faolan's wearing now, and probably what I could make him lol.

Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally?
No, I feel I have just as much a right to show off as anyone else. If someone thinks bad of me, so be it.

Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
I suppose there's always something in the back of my mind, but I don't worry about it too much.

Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
Not as far as I know. Any meetup I've been to has been quite pleasant.

Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll?
I was, and still felt so a bit when I had only a head.

Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?
Nervous no, sure of it yes.

Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.)
Hoping I don't come across anyone like that, even IF I love my boy's body.

 

The main reason I miss a lot of meetups in my area is because they're held on Sundays, and I'm usually busy with church/other things or too tired to go on that day. Saturdays would be perfect for me but everyone else works on Saturday!

Also, the little restaurant that we sometimes go to is now requiring that we buy something in order to stay there, so I may avoid those meetings altogether. It may be selfish/rude but I don't expect to spend money on anything other than doll items at meetups.

Some dolls I refuse to bring to meetups because they aren't "finished" (they don't have their right eyes/wig/clothes). I know they would be accepted, but I wouldn't be comfortable bringing an incomplete doll in!

 

lol uhm..I want to believe that not all teenagers are so brazen as the one question implies, but I have seen it before, and so, I am silenced. lol 8DD; I myself have only attended one meetup so far, will attend another soon, though I am new to the hobby. 8V I'm not afraid of people lol, my brain can hold its own in any conversation n_n It is just a little difficult to approach people as a new comer though, because when I went, people just divied up into small groups that all knew eachother. 8V The feeling of exclusiveness if probably what daunts most people.

Im not the greatest person in the world, nor do I pretend to be 8V So really, the main problem I have with meets is that both myself and Judas are very selective about our friends. [In every situation, for me]. Not in a superficial manner, but it can be said that I am very picky ><; it's a fault I own completely. Takes quite a while to win me, but i'm always civil. That being said, I usually only go to make business transactions and stuff. It's also very nice to be able to ask some real owners for demonstrations and other questions, considering I have those "new doll omg how do i take care of it" jitters. I'm sure that if I had a closer friend to attend with me who was also in the hobby, I wouldn't mind going to more.

 

Uhm. I'm actually really shy, I don't like being around alot of people. I mean, I could really try to go... but I get all nervous... even if I bring one of my friends.
I don't know what these meet-ups are like, so I don't quite know what to expect.
But, I am not just terrified of myself I worry about my doll. She doesn't look her best now (I haven't gotten the money to buy her wigs or clothes...) Also theft. I've spent so much effort and money into getting this doll, and if ANYTHING were to happen to her... I don't know what I'd do... I don't know what my parents would do... (Kill me probably.) I prefer to wait until the time is right.

 

I'm just really really shy. Ironic considering what I do for a living but in my personal life I am really awkward with strangers. People keep inviting me to the meetups in London but Im just too scared. Silly isn't it?

 

I'd like to start going to NYC area meetups again, but I don't like asking family members to watch my son on the weekend when I could be spending time with him. I know that there have been "family friendly" meetups at people's houses, but I don't have a car, and would feel awkward about asking people I don't know to help me get to their homes.

I really wish I could go to meet ups, I'm really shy and haven't had any real friends in NY for a while, it would be great to meet new people.

 

A few weeks ago I attended Metrocon, Fl, which I tried going to the doll meet. I ended up getting there when everyone was talking and had their dolls set up. I tried talking to a few people about their dolls but they didn't really say much to probably because I didn't have a doll of my own. I then started taking a few pictures, but one of the girls kind of scowld at me for doing so. After that I just kind of left. I rather not go to meets because I feel weird not having a BJD yet.

 

Do you feel you're too old or too young?
Not for Doll meet-ups but I guess most of them will be together with j-stuff conventions and the like. I think I would be a bit older than the everage there. ^^
Do you think you or your doll won't be liked?
I won't care about is as long as some people I know would come with me. I wouldn't go there alone anyway.
Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?
I've got some neat clothes for my dolls and me, too. I wouldn't worry about that.
Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally?
I would be going there with people I know to have fun and share some good time. So that's why I wouldn't mind so much if it was the case.
Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
That's the main thing I'm worried about. Damage more than theft. I would always have an eye on my dolls. But if a person runs into me or I trip and fall...
Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
/
Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll?
I have dolls... but I think I won't bring them along. And it would be silly if everyone came with their dolls and I just sit there. Another important thing. ^^
Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?
not dolls but maybe clothes, accessoires and the like.
Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked?
not expecting. But if they'll do their faces are going to meet my fists and feet. just kidding...I hope...

Laoky

 

hahaha, the only time I don't go to meet-ups is because they are too far and i don't have transportation (I don't drive - so i either have to bum a ride or take public transport) or i'm doing something w/ my family or husband. meets are generally on weekends and i don't like to spend all day away from my husband because it's sort of "our time" to hang out and have fun. I took him to a meet once though and he was kind of bored but it was ok - we didn't stay long though.

Sinc i know the chicago people i know nothing will get stolen because we watch out for each other. I'm pretty good in public and i like my dolls, their clothes and i'm confident in myself so that's not an issue. I guess if i didn't know anybody i'd be less inclined but then i'd just take a friend. I've always been friendly (I hope!!) to non-BJD owning but BJD interested people, going to meets before you get a doll is a good idea so you get a better feel for what you like IRL instead of buying a doll "blind".

 

Besides not being social, I am worried about bringing some expensive doll to a meet-up. I think some of my dolly friends might be upset by that, but really-- a meet-up should be a pleasure, not a stressful experience. I also don't take expensive, fragile outfits with me. Neither wigs, since some of them stopped looking brand new after being tried on many times. So yup-- only heads or cheaper dolls can go XD

 

I don't think I would feel comfortable going to a meet because I don't have a doll yet. The silly thing is I would really like to see one in person before I take the plunge and buy one. After reading some of the posts on here though I might go ahead and try it though. I'll just drag one of my friends along so I have someone to talk to.