Why do some collectors choose to not go to meetups?

Which is weird. It is *your* pastime, not anyone else's. Last time I checked I wasn't getting paid for it by anyone, so they're not my boss

 

I just went to one kind of meet up/ convention. Did not take my dolls since I'm affraid they might dammage plus I did not feel secure enough to be walking with them the whole day. Not afraid that nobody would liek them since they firstly are mine, and I customize them to my liking. Love a nice compliment ofcourse but I Dont get down if somebody doesn't appreciate them.
Anyway on the social aspect , I immidiatly felt it was nothing for me. People where really sticking together so it was hard to start a conversation, some gave me the idea I was invisible or something. I would have thought that people would be more open to conversation. Appearently if your not that active on the bjd forums your not really worth talking to or something ?
Or Maybe they where just scared that I would bite. Luckelly I brought a friend so I wasn't totally alone and I did meet one nice girl during a face up practice, but we never kept in contact.
In the end bjd's are more a personal thing for me, I do hop on forums occasionally to chek out the dollies of others but I geuss my social stuff ends there ;/.

 

Honestly it's a tad scary for the introverted newbies like me. A lot of times the local groups have all known each other for years and so when you go they all huddle together and it takes a lot of effort to interact with them or they all swarm you at once--literally it's either one or the other, there's no in between reaction. Also a lot of local groups are family clans consisting of older members and their younger family members so it's kind of like crashing a family reunion...can you say awkward? >.<

Even with all those factors though I really want to be involved in my local group and I trying to wiggle my way in via Facebook. It's taking awhile but I hope it will pay off soon.

 

I got curious to know other's reasons for not attending doll meetups. Some of them are the same as mine, some are different.
I never attended doll meetups yet, though I am interested in BJDs for several years already. My dolls are something personal to me, that's why I dislike to show them to others. Or they are customized according to my liking and I don't want other to critisize them. What if I like doll's sculpt as it is and have no desire to paint it? Or I painted it myself and the makeup is simplistic? Or my clothes are plain and do not resemble real human ones? Yes, my dolls for my own playing, not for showing others.
And one more thing. Some BJD lovers treat dolls somewhat a living creature. I don't consider them alive, they are just objects of art, they inspire me to make something unusual. When others ask for a name of a doll, its character, I feel embarressed.
Yet sometimes I think of a name that could suite to that doll, just in case if someone would be interested. But I do not address a doll by the name actually.

 

Mostly kind of scared of how people would think of me. Afraid to be treated like an outsider, a weirdo, a misfit toy, or being treated like a shamed newbie upon entrance. Afraid of getting glares, or people rolling their eyes at me. Guess it's because I like to greet dolls and sort of play like they're alive. Bit afraid of what they'd think, especially if I might try to start a conversation with their doll... Or talk to it like it's a newborn baby... Or a pet.
I don't know how many people do that. The whole baby talking to someone else's dolls thing, or introducing themselves to a doll. Complimenting them directly. It might come off as creepy or weird. Haven't met very many collectors besides my family.
I'm also very shy, and have trouble talking to people who are older than me. However, I really would love seeing all the variety of dolls, and would want to see all the outfits. If I ever do go, I'll take lots of pics!
I'm very tempted to go and try it. Just plan on trying to keep my mouth shut, unless someone speaks to me first or if someone touched my doll without permission.

 

Would love to go to a meet. So far been unable to find any in my area (south western PA). Still looking and hoping.

 

I have social anxiety and have a lot of trouble with groups of people. I have some ways to cope in certain situations (like cosplay at cons) and I'm working on going to more events I want to, but I dunno if I can handle meet ups alone and I don't really have anyone to go with me right now. I also work a lot and it can be exhausting. I did have some bad experiences with the first two meet ups I went to years ago and have been wary of going again, though I'm sure by now the group has changed.

 

I tend to be very awkward and withdrawn around people I don't know, so even though I'd share hobbies with them, I still wouldn't know what to with myself. Also, I don't drive, so I'd rather not have to ask someone to ferry me around for a hobby they aren't involved in themselves.

 

I get so nervous. In my head I'm like 'I can do this I'm going to go to a meet', but then I chicken out, and stay home. Meeting new people is unnerving to me even though I really want to go to a meet up I just can't.

 

I would feel very, very weird going in by myself. If I had a friend with me, I'd probably feel a lot more comfortable going...But since I live in the middle of no where, I'd have to travel a far distance to go to a meet all by myself :/ I'd also not be able to do like, a group photo for my dolls or anything...I think I'd have a panic attack having it sit there o-o;;; So don't want hands I don't want on my dolls, thank you lol. And really I'm just not a very social person, I don't know what I would do with a room of people i've never met

 

My first reason is distance, I mean... I live way too far from them so I cant attend any meets. Second is I feel that they're too tightly knit together and I'm not really that comfortable with a bunch of strangers.

 

I think the biggest reason is I can't risk being seen by co-workers. You can say who cares what people think of you,
but I work and get recommend by reputation, and I work a lot with men who majorly have never seen me in a dress.
I don't like to think people think I just put up a tough front, but I'm just like the big guy with poodles.
I did try to test the waters with friends within the same industry, and the comments are not very promising.
Some actually hurt and made a humiliating video of my collection and circled it around.

This is basically it. I love my hobby and enjoy it immensely,
I'd love to attend meetups and have fun with people,
but I would also consider the location. When I was younger (27 or so) I brought a doll into Borders, Metreon, etc.
now at 32 it's just a risk being stumbled upon. I went to several DD meets, I meet good people.

I got treated for this. I have several disorders, one is extreme anxiety which I actually had since childhood. I've built a coping mechanism for it when i turned teen, which people always mistake it for confidence/wildness. Past several years the mechanism broke down because of stress. Under medication now I just can't care. I t really helps. It's not a happy drug, It numbs down anxiety attack/sadness/depression/anger so you can think, why did you feel this way? Some people think this is like running away, but our bodies have chemicals you know, and some people just naturally deficient on what makes us neutral. While people turn to alcohol ( I was an alcoholic before treatment) or get high to get rid of anxiety, but you don't have clarity.

 

For me, this is just an issue of time and family. I use to go to meet ups a few years back. Its just very difficult to do this type of activity now. Socially speaking, its a great idea to attend a meet up with someone you know when you are new to the group. Well, this is just an idea anyway.

 

Social anxiety for me too. I hate meeting new people, especially in an unfamiliar situation such as a meet up (not something I've ever done before). I don't really collect bjds to socialize anyway.... they're more just for myself. Also, while I love taking pictures and sharing those online, I'm no good at making new friends (on OR offline). It's not that I don't WANT to make friends, I just don't know how...

 

I've gone to big meetups before and had a lot of fun! But I didn't get into BJDs for the social aspect so it's not a priority for me to attend these meets. That's not to say I don't embrace other owners, I love when I can talk to others and share interests.

I find that most people don't have as much interest in your dolls unless they're from a company that the meetup individuals know a bit about or have interest in. To some extent, I can't blame them; it's hard to relate when your doll isn't from a company that they're familiar with and I think we always want to flock to what we're interested in most. I consider my previous meetup experience a success because others had and loved both Volks and Lati so they had an interest in my dolls. While I tried my best to be equally as social with everyone about their dolls, I could tell that some people's dolls weren't given as much attention and they were from companies that not many had heard of at the time, this treatment kind of bothered me.

In the future, I'd love to go to a small meet where everyone can be equally chatted up with and all dolls included in conversation. It's not at the top of my list of things to do though at this time as the nearest meet-up is over an hour away.

 

I've never gone to a meet but I want to. The meets are always a few hour drive and I don't drive. I would hate asking someone for a ride especially my older sister since she makes fun of all my hobbies. I just told her the name of my doll and she started laughing just because I named him Seth. She then started showing everyone in the office what he looks like and they all had very hurtful comments.
I'm also not very social. The only time I talk to people I don't know is through the forums and that's pretty much it. I would be nervous at a doll meet and I might blurt out something stupid. If there's a doll meet at the next convention I go to, I may go but without Seth because he'll probably get heavy after carrying him around while I'm in cosplay.

 

I'm somewhat embarrassed to say it even in a bjd forum, but I too have anxiety. Having developed it in my teen years it has made meetings even to this day difficult. Now that I am older (and have my anxiety mostly under control) the only things standing in my way from attending local bjd meets are my lack of energy (University on the weekdays, homework and every other part of life on the weekends) and a lack of meets to attend. It would be very nice if the local bjd meets in South Australia started again ^^.

 

I went once and all the people, except the two I'd known from before were fairly off-putting. Someone brought children that were grabby-handsing all night and knocking the table I had my dolls on the whole time. Another person was strangely aggressive and really rude about my dolls not being the single brand/size she liked. I got the feeling she may have been a bit unsure of herself around people so she thought the best way to overcome that is try to talk down to everyone. She ended up picking one up by it's face, right on new beautiful face-up I'd just had done. It was pretty traumatic.
People I've work with and my friends know about my dolls. They think they're cool and special. I've never experienced so much meanness and disrespect as I did when I went for a doll meet.
I'm in a different area now and will be in an even different area for my summerstock gig... so I may end up trying to look for a doll meet again to give them another shot. It's been a three or so years since I tried.

 

I do like to go to meets but I usually have to work or I am at an anime convention.

 

Do you feel you're too old or too young? No, not at all. I'm 22 and usually I can get along pretty well with people that are older or younger than me.
Do you think you or your doll won't be liked? No, the only person that has to like my dolls is me ^^. I'm sure some people would think Elvenia is ugly or creepy and others that she's adorable. To each their own!
Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off? I have no outfits yet, but if I did I wouldn't be afraid to show them. I've just started collecting dolls and we all have to start somewhere, we can't all have the most beautiful outfits right away :p.
Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally? Yes, this is the main reason I will probably never go to a doll meet. I'm very shy and I'm always scared that people will dislike me. I tend to shut down when in a group. Meeting new people brings so much stress to me because of my anxiety disorder that I would probably die from stress before even getting to the meet lol..
Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft? I'm very careful with my possessions and I tend to check up on them every few minutes so I'm not afraid of theft. I never leave my stuff somewhere unattended, especially not a doll that's worth €200+. I would be scared of other people damaging my dolls though. I'm extremely careful when handling someone elses stuff but I never assume that other people do the same. I'm not sure if I would let other people handle my dolls.
Did you or someone else have a bad experience? Not with meets, but I've only been to 2 when I was still active on a forum. It was with people I've known through that website for years and my anxiety wasn't as bad back then.
Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll? I'd feel a little silly to show up at a meet without a doll, because I'm afraid people will look down on me. I would personally welcome everyone, no matter if they had 10+ dolls or not a single one. Another reason I would want to bring my doll is so that at lest I wouldn't be completely on my own.
Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls? No, I already want to purchase new dolls anyway :P.
Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.) I wouldn't say I expect it, it's more something I would be afraid of xD. I don't mind perverts looking up my dolls skirt, but what I do mind are immature, loud teenagers being a bunch of idiots. I see that happen all the time with ''alto-meets'' or ''emo-meets'' that are held in the city I live in. I'm not saying all meets are like that and I have nothing against people who dress in an alternative style at all, that's just the kind of meets that are held here and the kind of people I see attending them. I hate the yelling, attention-seeking, jumping on eachother and just doing whatever they feel like doing, without giving a damn about how other people attending the meet might feel about their behaviour. I'm very considerate of other people's feelings, so it pains me to know that a lot of people aren't.