Why do some collectors choose to not go to meetups?

Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?

BJD's yellow way quicker in the sun, I like keeping my dolls in good condition as much as possible, if I happen to bring them out into the sun... no more than 2-5 minutes for a clear picture maybe. But most of my dolls never seen the sun ever! I also have curtains on the windows so the sun doesn't come in too much. Also the theft stories I've heard don't help...
So really there is no reason for me to attend a doll meeting without a doll, it just makes sense to bring a doll to a doll meeting.

Doll event meetups
Perhaps if there was a doll event meeting welcoming all bjd's and companies were present and selling limited wigs/special outfits not available on the net then maybe I would go to see the merchandise. Perhaps I'd case one of my dolls in a bag and only take it out when trying out a wig before purchase if they allowed that. Reason why??....I have purchased too many wigs or shoes that I just don't end up liking or fitting!!! I would really like to try them out in person. X_X; That would most likely be my reason there.

Social gathering
I like DOA, I like the forum community, this is my social gathering. And if there is someone that really is mean-spirited, just turn off the monitor, that's all there is to it!

 

Do you feel you're too old or too young? I'm 20, so most people at meets are around the same age. There are some older people, but I think I get along pretty well with them.
Do you think you or your doll won't be liked? It's a bit of the opposite. A lot of people like my dolls a lot and they tend to get passed around, once ending with a few chips in my yo tenshi's face. Some people can't quite look without touching, and I get a little anxious leaving expensive posessions unattended while I'm looking at other people's dolls. Most doll owners feel the same and are therefore more respectful than your typical onlooker.
Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off? I try to make sure my dolls that I take to meets are wearing something decent at the time, but sometimes I do get a little embarassed if a shirt is too loose, or if there's a few too many stray hairs in the wig. They're being shown off, so they should be wearing their "sunday best" outfits.
Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally? I'm not a super well known forum goer if that's what it means, but the point is to see other molds in person and have fun, so who I am personally doesn't seem to matter too much.
Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft? I do get a little fearful, since I've had experience with damage, and I've heard accounts of theft, but there's always that risk.
Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll? I have four, and I wouldn't go without at least one now, because I would feel a little left out, but for people new to the hobby, it is a great way to figure out what mold you want.
Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?I have pretty good self control over that, and I usually don't buy any doll I happen to like. I plan ahead a lot.
Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.) This is a big one. It's happened. I've had my yosd's put in compromising positions with 70cm dolls, which is really inappropriate and sickening. I've also left my dolls to find them with different clothes and wigs on, and no sight of the items I own. This is the main reason I don't go anymore.

 

One word: Work :P

My schedule is erratic and I work ten hour days, so all I ever want to do is come home and go pass out in bed for a week. Unfortunately, every meetup in my area seems to be on a day I have to work, and given the choice between paying rent and ogling dolls, I know where my priorities are going to fall. It's frustrating because I would love to go to meetups, but don't always have the option.

 

i become really shy ):
even the people that knows me (some friends at school) say i'm waay too quiet D:

 

I've gone to 2 or 3 meetups (before I had any dolls) in the boston area, but I feel awkward. I'm REALLY REALLY shy and I don't know what to do with myself or what to say, I'm Reeallly unexperienced with being social or talking with other people I don't know much, so I get scared. I become clueless as what to say.

I kinda ended up being the person sitting at the other end of the room just watching them from afar.... and the others aren't responcable or know me enough to try to get me to interact with them... so...

I had a little bit of bad experience when I think they were getting annoyed at me becuse of it. ._. but ofcourse that was expressed online and not at the actual meet... but still kinda scared me off more...

Added with ya, idk what they are going to think of ME, nevermind my dolls...


I wonna go to another meet though.... ._.;



Though the last time I went was over 2 years ago maybe x_x

 

I'm a little embarrassed of my hobby, And I sort of can't imagine pulling them out in public o__O

I totally admire all the people who can go though, I always get so jealous!

 

Like others have said, I'm painfully shy, it used to border on agoraphobic, and to be honest just daily life makes me uncomfortable on it's own, let alone extra things. My shyness is worst around people around my age, too. I don't go anywhere or do anything unless I absolutely have to, and it's really hard for me to talk to people - I can barely order at restaurants or book appointments on the phone.

So obviously, that means meet-ups are completely out of the question - no matter what anyone says, I cannot and will not do it. Ever. I'm also not one to bring my dolls out of the house and drag them around or have them interact like they were real. They're just display items to me.

 

I've never been to a meet because I don't live that close to a big city where they are held. I could attend meets that are held in a city about an hour and a half away, so I found a thread where they were planning a meet that they hold regularly. I introduced myself and started that I had never been to a meet but would like to attend the one they were planning. I was totally ignored and no one commented on my post. I expected that someone would acknowledge me and tell me that I would be welcomed there and that they would enjoy having a new person join them. Maybe it was too much to expect, but when no one made any effort to talk to me I decided not to go. I figured that they were not people that I would be interested in meeting.

I know that if the meet is attended by a lot of people you can't personally invite everyone, but this group was not that big and since I made an effort to contact them I felt they were very unfriendly not to acknowledge me.

It gave me the impression that this group of people were cliquish and I wouldn't really be welcomed there.

 

That's me in a nutshell as well.

 

As far as going to meet-ups, I can be a bit quiet and anti-social (yes, despite the protests of some of you people who know me.) and also, since my doll isn't a "true" BJD, I would feel just a bit out of place at the moment.

However, I still think I would go, because it's a great opportunity to learn about these dolls, how to handle them, and not to mention make connections which could help you along the line later.

 

I have to admit our local one is awesome, but I knew a lot of the members from before we got hooked on dolls, so it was no problem, but:

Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?
ZOMG this is so true. It does. Sculpts that made me say Meh in pics are glorious in person. Meets are dangerous

Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.)

You say this like it's a bad thing Actually everyone is extremely polite about handling dolls at the ones I have been to. It's been wonderful!

 

What occasionally keeps me away from meetups is the behavior of people at the meetups. Usually the Seattle meetups are great, and everyone is always very friendly, especially to newcomers, but occasionally they get a little too rowdy. Since our meets are generally held in cafes, I think it's totally inappropriate when people do some things -- sometimes people get really, really loud and shrieky, or start putting their dolls in sexual positions, and that kind of behavior in public embarrasses me. I usually leave at that point.

Also I've noticed that sometimes meetup attendees are inconsiderate of the venue -- we've had a bit of a problem with people feeling that they don't need to purchase anything from the cafes where our meetups are held, and I think it's really rude to sit in a cafe for 2-3 hours without buying anything. Also sometimes we end up taking up far more than our fair share of space, which again... rude. Plus I worry that the shriekiness and inappropriate doll posing I mentioned above might scare off other customers. O__O

In both of those cases I just leave the meet, and sometimes after something like that I don't attend for a while afterwards, but I always go back eventually. XP I'm just not comfortable being associated with that kind of behavior, so I take pains to not be associated with it.

Again, though... mostly meetups here are good, just occasional lapses.

 

I am shy, but I do go to meets sometimes. Usually it is the travelling distance that stops me from going, if I have to travel 2-3 hours each way that zaps a lot of energy and makes it harder to enjoy the actual meetup. Went to a small meet recently with a local group and that was nice so I'd like to do that again.

 

I don't think anyone else has mentioned the problems I've had with meet-ups, so hey.

I've been to three, the last probably two years ago, and at two of them the other people were either super late or didn't show up at all, so I was left awkwardly waiting for them. That really put me off going to small meets in my area.

The other one was larger, and while I experienced the clique atmosphere, I thought that with time maybe I wouldn't feel excluded. The main problem I had with breaking into the group was that I have very little in common with most doll owners (that I've met in the past, anyway). I would like to meet some doll people that I could relate to on other levels, because it seems kind of strange to meet just to stare at each others' dolls and not be able to talk about anything else.

That said, I do often look at the meet-up forum, as there are a lot that happen in my area. I sometimes consider going, but decide I would rather do something else than set myself up for another awkward experience.

 

I'm a pretty social person, so meeting new people isn't really an issue, and I would karate chop anyone who tried to steal one of my dolls. My real issue, though, is distance...the closest meets are about an hour from me and this particular group of collectors have had some, shall we say, internal turmoil. I'm not interested in drama or high school brat behaviour in any way, shape, or form. I'm too old for that crap. Furthermore, they generally had their meets in public places and while I'm not ashamed of my dolls, I'm really not interested in packing them into a restaurant to be stared and pointed at.

I know one collector in my town and we have met up once. We tried to make plans for a second meet up, but I was on vacation that week and ended up sick, so it fell through.

 

I have two main reasons:

Meetups are fun to see the different dolls in person and to talk to other BJD-lovers, but after an hour or so it's like, "Okay... seen the dolls... met the people... ready to go."

And people just seemed to ignore my dolls. That sounds like a selfish reason, but it did sting quite a bit. People there just seemed sort of clique-y.

 

It's something I've thought a lot about. I've considered going to one, at least. I just tend to let a lot of 'little things' get in the way.

"Oh, I have a deadline the next week, I should work... "
"I would want to spend money if people had things for sale, and I shouldn't... "
"I would have to grab a car from the folks (since I don't have one, working from home) or go with Mom or the roomie... "
"If I went with the roomie, he would spend all his time anime geeking with people and I'd want to kill him... "
"Oh, that's probably too far... "
"Oh, I don't know where that is... "
"Oh, I bet that'd be loud... "

...and even though those things -really- don't amount to a hill of beans and I absolutely know it, I'm also one of those hideously shy, self-conscious people that has trouble going -anywhere- the first time, especially if I know it's an established group where everyone sorta knows everyone. I know there are surely plenty of groups in sane driving distance: I'm in Delaware, there's Philly and New Jersey and D.C. and so on all within distances I'm perfectly accustomed to driving pretty much at the drop of a hat. Delaware is generally awesome for, well, being that place that makes other places relatively easy to get to from.

I also feel a bit bad, because while I have encountered dollsnobbery in fashion doll collecting -- part of what keeps me a little gunshy -- I am sure that plenty of these groups would be more than happy to have a random crazy chick show up with her dolls once in a while, and that I'm not being especially fair by being afraid to at least -try- to go for fear of that sort of problem.

I've considered tagging along with the roomie to a con at some point, partly because if it just doesn't work out for whatever reason, I could hang out with him and his friends or pitch in at the dealer table he works at some of them. Cons have their own set of problems, though -- the fear of people getting grabby, mainly. I'm also not so great with loud crowds and people who bounce around like toddlers on a sugar binge, both of which are pretty certain to be present at cons (even if it's just outside the cluster of doll folks).

It may happen. It may not happen soon, but it probably will eventually. The biggest hurdle, really, is my workaholic streak of doom. Any time I spend -not- working (and amusingly, the computer is working and I can't until it's done even as I write this now) I feel horribly guilty -- like I should be getting something productive done. That may be passing, though; I actually managed to take a whopping three days of vacation after two years without a single day off (including Xmases and so on -- no weekends, either) and I didn't actually implode. So, it may happen, if I don't let the cluster of ultimately easily-overcome little issues become mountains instead of the molehills they really are.

The roomie and I did take one of the Denebs with us on the road trip, after all, and she traveled well. (She even wore her seatbelt, and looked very peevish all the while, much to our continued amusement and wisecracking all the while -- and the roomie was adorably protective of her.) So the 'will I be able to travel with one of them without feeling like an alien?' question was answered: "a little, but not really any more than I do on any -other- day."

 

Do you feel you're too old or too young?
I feel a little young sometimes, (I'm 16, but I went to my first meet at 14 I think) but I try to be mature as I can so I don't bother anyone :'D
Do you think you or your doll won't be liked?
My dolls? No, I think they're likable. Me? I always worry about that :'D I'm not really great at being social with people I don't know too well, so I'm afraid people won't like me/think I'm too quiet/boring and give up on me.
Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?
A little bit, but they're not terrible. If anything, maybe I can get critique on how to make them better.
Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally?
Yeah, For all of the reasons above, plus the fact that I'm a little younger than most of the people at the meets.
Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
Nah. I trust the people I've met with, and I trust the people I haven't met yet to understand how to handle a doll.
Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
Nope! (knock on wood!)
Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll?
For me? Yes, since I have 8! But for a newcomer, not at all! It's a great way to get into the hobby and find the doll you really love.
Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?
It has :'D My Piccolo, my Narae, my Tommy and my (no longer owned) MNF Soo were all results of seeing them at meets and wanting to own them. I think it's good to see them IRL first, that way you don't have to buy a doll, realize it's not exactly what you wanted and having to sell it.
Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked?
Not with my dolls; the victims of that are usually male dolls, and I have mostly girls. It would freak me out though!

 

Not for me. I'm paranoid about my dolls being damaged in some way, by other people or by myself. I've never taken my dolls outdoors before because I'm so anxious about this!

And what would I do if someone damaged my doll by accident? Or someone wanted to touch my doll but I wasn't comfortable with it? Or someone wanted me to play with their doll but I wasn't comfortable with it? I wouldn't know how to respond appropriately.

Also, I've never participated in a situation equivalent to a dollmeet, now that I think of it. I've never socialized with people I only know online, or made online friends. I don't think of myself as particularly shy or unfriendly, and I guess I don't have a particular reason for not participating in this sort of meeting, but it'd definitely be out of the ordinary for me.

So... in the end, my desire to meet other bjd enthusiasts is simply not enough to get me to make the effort to find out about dollmeets, find other doll lovers in my area, and make the time and preparations to go there.

I would be willing to go to a big doll convention where lots of companies/artisans were offering goods for sale. I wouldn't bring a doll, but I wouldn't be embarrassed about lacking one. And I probably wouldn't socialize much. But all this is far in the future or in maybe-land, because there aren't many big doll conventions with lots of vendors in the US.

 

I've been to 2 meets. The first meet was in my hometown. I was already nervous going but I found it very awkward to be there. Everyone seemed to know everyone already and although they did introduce themselves to be polite, no one really talked to me. Its not like I'm a shy person either but when you get the feeling that you are intruding it doesn't really make you want to talk more. Also everyone seemed to be a Volks elitist, which lol I don't even need to get into cause everyone knows how that goes. FOURTUNATELY, 2 other girls who had never been to a meet there before showed up as well. We hit it off and ended up breaking off and doing our own thing.

The second meet was a hundred times better. I'm not one to give up because of one bad experience, so I tried again. I decided to organize my own in the college town I also live in. I've seen from previous threads there had been meetups so I just made my own thread asking if anyone wanted to meetup. It was awesome! I loved the people and had a great time! So I don't think anyone should ever give up, just maybe find a different scene!