Why do some collectors choose to not go to meetups?

I wish I could go to more... unfortunately like many people I have "met" through the boards, my health often dictates that I cant... or some stupid-ass idiot teenager throwing herself in-front of my car because she was having a bad hair day (last meet I missed - LONG story)

I never feel to young or too-old. I fit snugly in the middle-age-group of the collectors in my area and I am so fortunate that all the doll owners I have met in my area (Brisbane and SE-QLD) are awesome people all who are really interesting and like me were all nervous about being at their first meet....

As far as my doll not being liked... It didn't even occur to me to worry - I liked them enough to save the money and that makes them or anyone else's doll regardless of the price tag, worthy of love

I'm a seamstress so my dolls often have.. umm.... odd outfits on. I also have children so spening a lot on outfits is a no-no, so I couldnt care-less about weather the "label" of the outfit... its kinda irrelevant...

Fear of damage or theft.. All the time, I just keep my eyes on them and well it goes with "yeah you can hold it but I can run like lightening and I WILL break your legs if you damage it" LOL

Where I live I was soooooo pleasantly surprised to find that 2 out of 5 mums at our school are closet doll collectors (all varieties) so I fit in like a charm... though BJD's are at the higher end of the spectrum as far as the "collectable" varieties go, but now there are 3 Puki owners in this town thanks to me sharing my interest...

Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.) Nah... My husband is more likely to bring his friends over and strip my SD boys off just to "prove" its a boy..... LMAO And youth isn't the only bracket that holds loud sex-crazed people..... You should go to Pensioners night at our local country club ROFL *snort*

 

To me, meet-ups are the ideal times to see bjd molds that I'm interested in, or new molds.
Since BJDs cost so much, I think it's quite a chance to be able to see a mold in real life rather than hope we'll like it as much as the picture when it'll get home.

I have met some amazing people at doll meet-ups, some of which have become very close friends.
I can't say I go to every meet and that I don't privilege the meets where my friends are rather than meets full of unknown people.

I have had a few bad experiences, mainly of meets that were really badly organized with people not finding each other or not knowing where to go in the end, and also of over-enthusiastic newly doll-owners who'd grab my dolls a tad too brutally for my taste ^^;;; (I found that younger people tend to be a bit too hyper around my dolls, and older tend to look down on them and ignore them loool which I dislike too. But that's not everyone of course )

But on the whole, I don't feel awkward when going, and I will have fun if I find there a few people worth interacting with. If not, well, I'll still take outdoors pictures of my dolls I guess lol

 

Well, I have this anxiety disorder, and I did plan to go to an event a while ago. I ordered the tickets and looked forward to it, but then the big day began and I freaked out again. I don't like to go to faraway and strange places, and all these strange people, it gave me a panic attack. So I didn't go to the event in the end, and I still regret it. Stupid anxiety ><"
But if it wasn't for the fear I would have loved to meet doll owners, ask questions and more like that.

 

*Hey KIM, what type of rude things were said to you? It amazes me that people are rude at meets. I mean the whole point is originality and making your doll into something the suits you. If you owned all Volks why on earth would someone give you grief? How silly people are. *

I am a super social person I think my husband was glad I finally went to a meet so I would stop trying to talk to him about my doll plans!

Anyway I didn't go for a long time because I started judging my doll. I am an Art Director and I spend all day critiquing creative work. So when I imagine someone seeing my doll I start critiquing my doll big time! I notice every little blemish. I avoided the meets so I could just leave it as a relaxing hobby.

I finally went a month or 2 ago and I had a lot of fun. Everyone was very helpful and nice. I enjoyed seeing other dolls and photographing them. I spent most of my time away from my own doll checking out other dolls. I also just learned to sew and I am quiet the hack. Although everyone was very nice about my dresses and coats, I met a great lady who gave me some very helpful feedback on my clothes. This is what I wanted. A constructive conversation on how to improve my technique when making doll clothes. In the end I was glad I went.

 

Would be nice to meet someone with the same BJD-hobby, but maybe one by one, not the whole group. My dolls don't bother me - they look beautiful to me, I don't think I would feel bad that other dolls look differently. What really could stop me is the risk that a meeting could end up like showing-off. The only reason for meeting for me could be to see some other dolls in reality, get some new ideas, maybe exchange things...

 

Oh, it was the usual crap along the lines of "Not worth it's $1000 price tag", and the ever wonderful "ugh, Volks elitist." I've also had someone decide I needed to be informed as to just how many Bobobie dolls I could have purchased for the price of my one doll as some sort of unsolicited service to me. I just smiled and nodded and moved on.

I figure just like any other group of people you meet, some are just going to be rude, and it's best to not let them get to you. We all can't be best friends.

 

Kim. Wow that is so funny? Sounds like sour grapes to me. I think it is hysterical that anyone would be considered elitist in this hobby! I mean....they are dollies?

But hey I just ordered my first Volks and I am verrryyyy excited to get Kaelin! I was never a huge fan but lately the dolls have been growing on me. I also like that there is so much support for Volks owners out there (patterns and accessories).

But what a shame about that meet. I hope it doesn't keep you from showing off your dolls again.

 

I dont go to meets because I have two small children and no family or sitter.
Sometimes I can get my husband to watch them but he works alot.
I wont go unless I have a friend to go with as well. I am a little antisocial and it takes me alot to go face to face with people. I can type all day but face to face I get embarrassed easily.

 

Now see, being called a "socially awkward stranger" is the reason I will definitely never go now. Thanks :/

 

Aye! That's one person's opinion, you should really go and try it out, Larien. You could despise it and if that's the case get back in your car and leave, grab some icecream on the way home so it's not a wasted trip.

I've been in this hobby for a few years and I've met all sort of people. Yes, there's Volk's Elitist, awkward people, anime otaku, older people, pretty young people,... men! I'm not there to judge, I'm there to appreciate dolls.

The only people that piss me off at meets are the elitists and the ones who have cabinet babies and talk about these who have doll traveling companions. And that's only because they scare away the more timid doll owners and intimidate them. I happen to like timid doll owners and am very good at intimidating elitist and those who can't respect other's opinions.

I wish all the people wary or worried about meets lived in California with me, I'd go with you and not let anyone be rude or pick on you.

 

This is why I'll only go to certain meets. XD;

That said, when I arrange or help to arrange meets, I try to keep them as open and as friendly as possible! I'm not there to intimidate; I'm there to appreciate and discuss and even help out others in the hobby. If I can bring others into the fold, so to speak, then all the better. ^^ I think doll meets should be about spreading the love, not about being clique-y or elitist or what-have-you.

 

Even though I'v never been to a doll meet, cause I just got my first one, I'm still really anxious of not being liked and that I'll be outside the "clique" that knows eachother from before. It's scary meeting strangers, especially outside the comfort of your own home/area. x3 Besides I tend to get really anxious in big crowds, but that's because I'm really short. Will attend the London Film and Comic con, cause I'll be there on vacation, but I can already feel the nerves.. Jeesh! i'll have moral support in my friend though, and hopefully we'll meet a lot of nice people

And MeliCat, you seem like a very nice person, I wished I lived in California!^__^

 

Do you feel you're too old or too young? Not really, as the group tend to be of the same age roughly.
Do you think you or your doll won't be liked? I fear constantly that I won't be liked, even if they have meet me I think they might not actually like me and just being nice.
Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off? I don't feel comfortable showing off the stuff I make and I don't always make the best choice when buying clothes.
Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally? I'm not very good with my words and I'm terrible at reading people's feelings. So I'm pretty much worried about how I come across to others. I bring an extra doll or two when I go just in case some one doesn't have one or would want to get used to another doll size. I love to help and I would hate if it came across as if I'm showing off, mind you I feel I show off more with my first girl.
Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?I'm more afraid of holding other people's dolls just in case I damage them. I can be clumsy and well that is enough for me to just look at how pretty they are.
Did you or someone else have a bad experience? I split pepsi at one meet trying to pass over one of my dolls, it make me want to avoid those situations with sport caped bottles now. No doll was hurt or anything but it was enough to freak me out big time.
Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll?That what I thought the first time when I join a more local doll group and there was a meet that very week. I just couldn't do and I wouldn't have wanted to touch anyone's doll and I would have been afraid it would have offended them.
Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls? I always want a new doll, the doll group I go to usually have such lovely dolls that I just want to have. The fact I planning the amount of money I need for one at the moment as my next buy just shows how much they make me want them.
Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.) Never even thought about that but then again a couple of people do like to look at the joints on doll moulds they haven't seen but they never strip or grab a doll, they always ask or just take a quick peek.

The main reason I avoid the group sometimes is the fact I have asperger syndrome and that makes every thing really difficult when it's a social event and in a place I'm not use to.

 

It's a relief to hear I'm not the only one who has trouble with anxiety/social situations, I was feeling kind of awkward about it. Just feel like giving you guys a hug :P

 

For the most part, I'm still exceptionally new to the hobby, or at least the part where I actually OWN a doll, and am not just peeking through the window glass with my face pressed up on it.

Add the fact that I work nights and weekends, a car that is trying really hard not to die, iffy health issues (I have a bad back and am obese, so it makes most public venues iffy for me) and my own little social anxiety issues about crowds, and I do better staying at home, I guess. Not that I won't try, if I can get one on a day I am off and available, I probably will.

Do you feel you're too old or too young? Nope, not really. Early 30's, and a kid at heart.
Do you think you or your doll won't be liked? Pfft. Like anyone could NOT like a puki? Also, I don't get/understand people being snobby about what kind of doll you have or how much you spent on it. People like that are just looking for an excuse to be mean.
Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off? Ah... well, possibly, but again, not really a concern. I'm new and I'm learning and if people aren't willing to be understanding and helpful about it, that's their problem.
Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally? Well, my own self-esteem issues aside, I'm old enough that if someone doesn't like me, I have a little cry about it and figure in the long run, it's their loss. I'm a good, fun person, with more then a little doll geekery along with lots of other geekery to go around. What's not to like?
Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft? Hmm, not really. Ruijin is pretty easy to keep track of, and my biggest fear would be, as a tiny, he'd been too easy to tuck into a purse or something. Then again, he's the only doll I have right now, so I'd be watching him like a hawk.
Did you or someone else have a bad experience? Nope.
Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll? N/A
Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls? Oh I ALWAYS want to purchase new dolls, so really, all this would do is give me a chance to see some first hand, which I'd love to do.
Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.) Ruijin would likely be amused that someone was that eager to get in his pants. That said, if anyone just grabbed Roo out of my hands without asking, to strip him or otherwise, they'd get a high five to the face. It's not the stripping I mind, people are curious, I get that, it's the grabbiness. You don't go grabbing a howevermuchIspentthatsnoonesbusiness-dollar doll out of my hands if I just met you. No matter how old you are.

 

I've actually been kicking around in the back of my mind whether I'm going to go to this Saturday's meet in Freehold, NJ. I haven't been to one before partly because I haven't known of any to be taking place so close to home. I can actually make it to Freehold.

Do you feel you're too old or too young?
Nope. I'm 23. I'm probably right in the middle.

Do you think you or your doll won't be liked?
Me? A little, but that's the story of my life.
My doll? Well, I don't have a "proper" ABJD, but I love my Dollfie Dream Yukino, and that's all that matters to me.

Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off?
I only have one outfit (well, I do have Yukino's default slip, but I won't take her out in public in that), and I like it a lot. I'm not too concerned about showing off, though. What will be will be.

Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally?
Well, I'm a guy who has the fashion sense of a rock. I don't have great hair, I won't be shaven on a Saturday, and I won't be dressed to kill. That may or may not be a factor. At least I brush my teeth and use deodorant

I'm also really introverted. I can't remember the last time I went to a social function. I can remember the last time I turned one down, though. It was last Friday. Story of my life. I could have either BS'd with people from work over lunch, or I could have stayed at work and actually worked. I like working, so I stayed.

What I'm a little afraid of is that I'll just end up sitting away from everybody who has already found their groups and have nobody to talk to. This happened to me all the time in school.

The cool thing is that I think there will be a bit larger of a proportion of introverts at the meets than at any school I ever went to, and I'm actually kind of good at trying to hit it off with introverts. I still end up not saying much, but at least we won't all be alone.

Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft?
I'd be a little concerned about losing Yukino's shoes and wig. They don't exactly hug her body. Otherwise, I'm not too concerned about damage or theft. I probably wouldn't put her in much more danger of damage at the meet than if she were home. As for theft or damage from somebody else, I would probably not let anybody else hold her at all, and I won't go around holding other peoples' dolls. Nothing personal, just the way I'll operate. I'll have only one hypocritical desire, though, and that's to hold one person's large resin doll. I've never held one before, and I'm curious. After that, I'll keep my hands to myself.

Did you or someone else have a bad experience?
Mostly N/A to me, but it's worth mentioning that my parents already think that it's weird that I have dolls. They'll certainly think it's batpoop insane that I'd be going to a doll meet. Where doll fans meet. With their dolls. In public.

Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll?
N/A

Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls?
Not at all. I think it would only help me to make more educated purchases because I know I'm going to be making more in the future.

Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.)

Maliciously grab my doll, and you will regret it.

 

I didn't call YOU anything. I don't know you. It seems to me that if my little post on this board is now your reason not to go to meets, then you were looking for a reason, and you found it.

I'm sorry if my personal preference (which is a decision not to hang out with people I feel uncomfortable around) offended you. It certainly was not aimed at you, or anyone specifically.

 

"Volks elitist" mentioned again? Who are these people!!! I want to see one. They sound hysterical!

 

Well now. I'm a shy person. I don't work very well in places full of strangers I've never met. I suspect it's got something to do with being the new kid every year for eight years of my life (Family moved a lot due to step-dad's constant company-related moves) up until high-school, and then being the weird loner for the first few years there.

But you know, I make an effort. I shut that shyness inside of me, pre-think of some things I'd like to ask/say, and hope/pray the conversation goes on from there. Especially when it's something as easy as going to a meet with DOLLS, which obviously means that there will be at least some doll conversation in which I can participate.

And you know? It works. I've made some friends in the doll-owning circle in my city, I love going to meets (though not the big ones - like mizbelle said, in the big ones there are a lot of people that aren't willing to make the effort to be social, and in turn myself, and later the entire event turns kind of awkward) now because I can ask questions and get advice, I can chat to other people I now know about dolls, and just life in general, and relax. No one makes any inconsiderate comments (and I've been to pretty big meets) about any company dolls that I've ever heard of. I think for the most part people here are older than I am, but that doesn't bother me in the least. It's interesting to hear what they have to say about their lives, which is different from mine.

I mentioned I was the loser in high school for the first couple of years, right? I got a big tight group of friends by the end of it, got invited (and declined...) to several parties (...I hate boozey parties), hung out with the school's "cool circle", and just generally had a great rest of school. So really, if you can make an effort, you can do it.

 

bad experience doesn't begin to cover it. My fiancee is in a wheelchair. He is into the hobby as well and i couldn't be more greatful for that. We attended a doll meet with our two boys in their half assed handmade clothes and with my mediocre faceups. We were blatently ignored by EVERYONE except the mother of a doll owner. I looked at other people's dolls, walked around but was still ignored. Not to mention my fiancee was stared at like he was a complete freak of nature. Later we logged onto their forums and explained how uncomfortable the doll meet was. one of the girls who gawked at my fiancee was telling him that he should be more open and approach people. Would you talk to someone who was staring at you like you had some contagious disease? No.

Later on in a thread on the forums associated with this dolly group a topic was brought up asking for opinions, my fiancee and i stated our opinions and then about two pages of flaming us and our opinions erupted. Since then i haven't bothered logging onto the forums associated with the Phoenix doll community.

I'm a bit sad to not have any local doll friends but i will admit the friends i do have associated with this hobby i wouldn't trade for the world.

I'm only about a year into the hobby and have already decided that my dolls are whatever i want them to be, let the community play it's little fandom games. I can stay locked in my closet with my pretty dolls and be just as happy.