Why do some collectors choose to not go to meetups?

Don't worry about someone hating you, that's their problem, think about all the good things the dolls and places like DOA have brought you. I'm socially anxious too but I think about my dolls and how much they'd like to see the other dolls.

Shi Shi never saw another Obitsu 60 until his first birthday party. After Xavier met a female Dollzone I had to get one to be his wife. Some of my littles and a tiny were the first of those other people had seen. Chances are someone else at the meet up is just as nervous.

 

I have to agree with Cyberspacegirl.

I also hesitate to attend meetups for the same reason I avoid Anime conventions. Rarely do I know anyone there(I have no friends in the hobby as of now), and they tend to be filled with people who already know each other. I know there are always new people, but I have trouble starting up an introduction with others. I need to get over it, They do sound like fun.

 

It's not "refusing to go" for me. Most of the times meet-ups are held I don't have the time to attend (I work a lot and in my free time I like to be with my friends and family instead of meeting up with a lot of people I don't know). Also, my sister is in this hobby as well which means that I can talk all the dollie talks I want with her and I don't have the need for going to meet-ups to be social with doll people. I have my sister Therefore, when I have to choose I usually choose being with friends/family instead of attending meet-ups.

It's simply just a priority - not all people have the time to do everything they want, and therefore have to choose what is most important for them to join in on. For me, dollie meet-ups are not on top of that list.

 

the reason that usualy stops me from going to meets (doll & other) is usualy convience... I tend to find myself lacking the time & or health when meets are usualy scheduled...I sometimes go and pester the other doll owners at conventions but I almost nevertake my dolls with me anymore because I cosplay and have had over enthusiastic fankids intentionaly knock my doll out of my arms and glomp me only to have passers by step on the doll while I was trying to get away and get him O_o I might take a break from that though because I realy do miss going to the meets...

and I must say I think I fit in the "youth" catigory but I will never touch/take/hold anybody elses dolls unless I was asked to or something bad is about to happen to the doll (fall, get stepped on, splashed, has a bug on it ect.) but I honestly don't mind if other people hold my dolls or take & pose them at meets as long as they stay in my sight im fine with it...

yes I have had some bad expeirences, but I have very good friends and even family in the community so I don't usualy let that bother me. I just leave the meet if people are being intentionaly rude or doing things I don't want to be a part of...

I've honestly never felt uncomfortable because of my age either... I can get along with most people oaky enough...

as for my dolls clothes, I make most of them so I guess thay can be a little unimpressive... but it doesn't really bother me. My dolls theirselves get some attention but not as much as others which is okay too... Jareth tends to be a camera hor though XD actually he's a good ice breaker for me too

 

Well, Steph was the one who told you to punch me in the nose... (Although I'm not supposed to know about that, am I? )

Anyway, to answer your original question...

I used to attend almost all of the local meets, but stopped going to most of them about a year ago. Many of the older collectors in the group have drifted away for one reason or another, and I've found that I just don't have a lot in common with the younger crowd who show up now. They're not bad people at all... they're just not as familiar to me, and don't seem to have the same frame of reference. We don't find a lot to talk about.

 

I have gone to the a couple of the meets, everyone is very nice, I just feel awkward. My college aged daughter introduced me to them 3 years ago. Conventions are easier and I don't mind those as much. I do enjoy showing my boys off and tend to take them out to dinner or different festivals in the area. I am quiet and that tends to be a little strange also, people think I am mean or stuck up.

My daughter doesn't go since her friends no longer are. I would go if she did. Then I would know someone!

 

Since I'm new in the area, I'm excited to be going to some Austin meetups, but I had previous misgivings about meetups since a while back I took two dolls to a meetup, and one of them was damaged, as well as another girl's doll due to them being knocked off a table.

Of course, that kind of stuff is over and done with now, but I am more wary when I go to meetups about setting dolls on high surfaces/when people do not ask to touch your dolls and instead grab them.

 

As I mentioned earlier I'm taking a break from meets due to my high levels of social anxiety. Reading further through the thread would have made me less likely to attend meets after seeing some of the responses about shy and socially awkward people.

In my case it's a illness and one I can't do much about. I take medications, I see specialists and in the case of the last meet I attended I had only just been released from hospital earlier in the week. My illness at its worst leaves me unable to leave my "safe" places which depending on how bad I'm feeling can be as limited as my house or even just my bedroom.

One of the things I hate about meets even though everybody I've met has been wonderful is that they totally exhaust me. After the last meet I spent the entire next day sleeping!

On a more positive note I've always been made to feel welcome and have found local collectors really welcoming and understanding. My dolls have always been accepted and to be honest I've felt safe leaving them with other people at the meets if I've had to go somewhere else for a few moments. I'm not worried about breakages since I'm such a klutz that I'm more likely to break my dolls than anybody else would be and I am very much a 'dolls are made to be played with' person anyway.

 

Exactly. thats how i feel too :O

 

Y'know, I thought that too at first. Usually any doll talk seems to deviate naturally into other things and it really doesn't end up as awkward as it would seem.

 

How about, I have a super busy life with my job/ family/ hobbies/ other types of social events (i.e. business related events; events related to my other hobbies), so socializing with my dolls at meetups with other doll collectors is pretty low on my priority list right now.

I like to play with my dolls and keep up with new doll releases, but I seriously don't have time at this point for getting to know a bunch more people or being in more social activities. I barely have time for the good friends already in my life, who I have tons in common with beyond just shared enjoyment of a hobby. That may sound harsh, but it's the truth.

I had the same issue come up when i was taking art classes, and my classmates would always be wanting to organize parties and get-togethers outside of class time. It just doesn't work for me, especially since I take the classes and purchase dolls with the idea of spending some "me time", personal time, pursuing these interests by myself. If I instead fill up that time with more social events, I'm defeating my very purpose of being in the activity.

 

Well it can be fun, but it can be awkward to. Im one of those shyer quiet people and when it comes to talking about my dolls out loud. Im more like a person who has to present there homework who didnt do it. I dont feel like im an easy person to fit in to group situations and Its easier to express myself online or in smaller groups.

 

I'm very shy but I hide it well. I will go to a meetup... and in fact went to my first doll convention last month (where I met up with one person I knew online) and went to my first group meetup on Sunday. Yes, I did feel a bit silly, old, obese, embarassed... but I usually push myself past that and try to make a good impression. What I found from the doll convention is that there is a LARGE group of older collectors who switched over from other fashion dolls like Barbie. So no need to feel old. And I also find that we all come in different shapes and sizes but what's memorable is how we act.

As for dolls... meh... whoever fits in the doll carrier and how much they weigh. If I plan to do a lot of walking fewer dolls. Mostly sitting? The Tinies can come.

 

I don't often, if at all go to meetups, for a couple of reasons.
Mostly it's work, I often need to work on the weekends when meetups are taking place and the other reasons are that to me it's a hassle to drag one maybe two dolls, camera, etc to a place that you will only sit and talk to the people you talk to online and keep your eye on your dolls.

So I don't see the point in it that much, I'd rather stay home and enjoy them fully and not feel like an overprotective motherhen looking out for her chicks.

Sabriell

 

I haven't found any local ones yet, surely there are, given that Toronto's a big city, but I didn't see any stuff in that section of the board, at least recently. I work weekends, though, so even if they did pop up, I'd be pretty much out of luck unless people were so kind as to hold them on weekday evenings or something.

I can't sew human scale other than the most basic elastic waist tube skirt, and the sewing machine we have is a vile monster that likes to eat everyone's fabric, thread, and fingers, so I haven't tried making any clothes yet. Perhaps if we ever got a sewing machine younger than I am (I believe my mother did once, but returned it before taking it out of the box, thinking she'd never use it), there might be some amount of hope, but I have problems with fine motor coordination, too, so that might not help me much. Though if people complained about my lack of creativity in my having to buy clothes, I could always just send the crossdressing Hujoo Wings after them next time..."Aaaauuugghh!!! Plastic! It's contagious!"

 

For my first meeting up, I was so nervous.
Based on my personality, I'm not the one who is quite social going. I won't attend the meet up or any group activity if I know no one in there. I've tired joining the party which I know only 1 - 2 persons and i ended up sipping the drink alone. I'm quite so afraid of attend the meeting.

The first do meeting is not quite impressive to me. It's my personal problem, nothing wrong with people who attended, the food, the host or the place. I felt that I don't know who I could talk to. I don't know much about BJDs, I don't know the name of the mold, the doll company, what's news, what events, etc. and I have noted that not many people took photos of my boy (we post the meeting photos later) this maybe the answer that I'm afraid that my doll won't be liked .

However, I did know more people from the meeting. So the next meeting I'm not alone anymore. I think the first step is so important. I don't want to be alone but I'm just a person who can't make friend easily.

I don't know this will help answer the question, but think for the question I think it is very interesting.

 

im actually really scared to go to a meet-up cuz i can WRITE english, but i cant TALK XD
also, im always left behind in everything i do. so i am also afraid ppl are not gonna like me or my doll T_T i thought of bringing a friend in case that happen, but i know if i do its not gonna help at all cuz my friends are all magnet for ppl!!
& i think my age is the thing that bother me the least, cuz i may be very young, but i usually fit better with older ppl ^^ im like total reject toward ppl of my age but most adults love to talk with me =)

 

Well... for one thing, I still live with my parents, and them being overprotective, would certainly not allow me to go to a doll meet where "strangers who might have the intention to kidnap" (their words, not mine >__>||) will be.
But I think the main reason is because I am afraid I will not get along with people. I'm kind of... hard to get along with for most people, I've been told.
There's also the fact that I am relatively new to the hobby, and often get confused between sculpts. (I once mistakened a Moon for a Ducan, WTF. =A=||) So I guess the embarrassment factor of being new to the hobby and the fear of being looked down upon.

 

same here! ¬_¬

 

Hahah, someday when I get the nerve to both drive by myself and go to a doll meet, we shall see. But LOL, I think we be getting off topic here.