Why do some collectors choose to not go to meetups?

I don't really avoid them,i just don't have the time,but i always think it would be nice to meet up with likeminded people

 

I think I don't seek out meets because I live in the middle of nowhere (or Indiana as it says on maps). I know there are other collectors in my state, but the distance would be hard. It would be nice to have friends that share the hobby and to meet up with them, but I'm content. I'm just a bit shy to seek others out, too. But I always feel I can count on myself or the kind people on DoA to help me with my dolls.

 

I don't really feel comfortable with groups of people or people I don't actually know -call me an antisocial, that would be right- and it's not only about meetups, it's also about school working clubs or groups and things like that. When something needs a group of people to work on it, then I just give up. I'm not very social, u see...

 

SO sayeth the person who got ME to come out and meet another dolly person for the first time! Yeah I WAS nervous at first, but about 10 seconds after meeting Tyg here I was all better! I think it's like sky-diving really....just gotta get up the courage to take that one step and then it's freefalling!...

...cept, well, your not actually falling down...

more like up...

and slightly to the left!

 

Honestly, I'd love to go to a meetup! But I have multiple chemical sensitivity, and I get really sick in public places and other homes because of the cleaners used, people's perfumes, etc... I don't want to ruin everyone else's fun by going to a meetup, staying 5-10 minutes, getting sick and having to leave. If it weren't for that, I'd go to meetups a lot!

 

It's probably not anyone refusing to go to a meetup. I don't go because I don't know of any in my area, and besides, I wouldn't be able to go.

 

I -would- go to meetups, it's just that going to ones outside of convetions seems really rude to me...^^; And plus, it doesnt seem like the meetups around me are at any cons that I'm going to! ;_;

Do you feel you're too old or too young? Yeah, I'm barely a teenager and most everyone I've seen with dolls looked atleast 20...I feel like such a newbie. ;_;
Do you think you or your doll won't be liked? Actually, yeah...^^; Ymir...really is still just a default doll. D: Default wig, default face up, default clothes...I love him, but when I see other's dolls I get so embarrassed D: And Myself? At 4 inches away from being 6 feet tall and only being 14, I'm not someone to put myself out there. <.<;;
Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off? Lol, i know for a fact they aren't. 8D; I don't have the sewing skills that everyone else on here seems to have been born with ^^; So my poor baby stays usually in his default clothes. D:
Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally? No, not at all D: I hate going to things where I dont know anybody, and I'm usually forgotten by everyone...(Dororo, anyone? ;A; ) Even at the only meet i've gone to (so far, hopefully!) I went with a friend (fellow bjd owner) and I still felt left out. There were two nice woman who looked about 25 who offered us to go over, sn i would've loved to but I was just too shy... ;w;
Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft? Oh, no, not at all. It's the farthest thing from my mind!
Did you or someone else have a bad experience? Nope. Nothing involved with a meet, anyways.
Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll? I'm kind of afraid t go because I -have- a doll ;A;
Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls? Fff, I want to purchase new dolls anyways, so that's not a problem XD;
Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.) Eheheh....i-is that how we're r-really portrayed...? Well, no, i'm not...It actually seems like there arent many teenagers on DoA, i'm always expecting everyone to be atleast twenty...! oAo;;;

 

I havent gone to a dollmeet yet, but i know there are people who dont want to go just because they dont want to take their dolls out in public and whatnot. They arent ashamed or anything, they just dont want to.

i myself would love to go to a meet tho

 

I love going to meetups, but there are times when other things come up and I can't seem to get there (I keep missing the customizing meetups that have been held around here grrr). I'm normally very shy, but I feel comfortable around other doll people--there's something I know we have in common and can talk about. I'm still not always the most outgoing person, but I like being there and meeting people. I've also been going to meetups in my area long enough to get to know folks.

I have no fear of my dolls being damaged, as the vast majority of people know how not to damage a bjd. I've also had almost no trouble with rude people (the only instances I can think of off the top or my head were at a convention and not with any of the local meetup groups), and hypothetically speaking, even if there is someone who annoys me, it's a group of people--I can always talk to someone else.

Of course, I'm sure it partly comes down to what the individuals in an area are like--I've been very lucky where I am. For people who do want to go, but are nervous about it, I would suggest giving it a try if you can. You maybe nervous the first time, but it can be a lot of fun and it's one of those things where the more you do it the easier and more fun it becomes.

 

Do you feel you're too old or too young? --- It's not because of my age, I like seeing people of all ages and don't matter that xD I think i'm in that age that i can be young and old at the same time (26) xDDD

Do you think you or your doll won't be liked? --- If you don't like it, don't look at it xD That's what i think... What matters is if i like my doll, because is mine, not of the other people...

Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off? --- Same as before~~ I like my outfits, that's enough for me :3

Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally? --- Nope. I don't matter what people think. I'm short, fat and ugly, nobody will tell me worse things xDD

Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft? --- Maybe. But it can be damaged at home too, it's like if you don't go out because you can have an accident and be injured...

Did you or someone else have a bad experience? --- Yeah, in my first meetup i verified that people isn't as great as they looked in forums... and as great as they think they are...

Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll? --- I wasn't, the first time i went to a meetup i didn't have my Diogenes yet and i thought that would be no problem... But with some people it looks like is a MUST taking at least one doll to meetups to have the right of being considered as a BJD fan. If you don't have one, forget about receiving at least a "Hello"... That's what happened to me in my first meetup...

Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls? --- Nah xD The problem is having internet. With internet you see dolls and you can purchase them xD Temptation it's just one clic far~~

Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? --- wtf?? xD Dunno, I'm the first that likes seeing naked dolls... with artistic purposes, obviously... lol. It's not a problem to get my doll naked, always with respect :3


I agree with Lulu... some people are like kids... envy, childish treatment of people, those if-you-don't-have-this-shop-doll-you're-less-than-nothing, and things like that. It reminds me when in school there were "Nike kids" and "No-Nike kids". If you had Nike things, you were cool, if you didn't, you weren't anything... Now it's like that, but with dolls instead of t-shirts... I hate that, so i won't go to meetups with that kind of people, i prefer having my dolls for myself and my friends :3 For me it's enough. It's not the quantity of people in meetups, it's the quality.

 

Many reasons -

I travel a lot for work and when I am home I typically want to be at home. My husband and pets miss me and I have a lot of crap to do...
I have other friends who I see rarely enough - I like to spend time with them.
I have other hobbies and interests, which take time, energy, resources...
I don't have to go attend meetings/get togethers in order to feel good about myself or about my dolls.
On the rare occasions when I have been at conferences, meet-ups, etc. I have met some nice people and some people that I really want nothing to do with. The latter ruin things for everyone.
Most of the time it is not worth the effort. I have enough going on in my life that I do not have the energy to waste on people that I am not going to make a long-term connection with.

 

The only reason I've ever skipped meetups is because there was something preventing me from going (distance, schedule, etc.) I love hanging out with other doll owners, I actually hosted a dollie barbeque at my house earlier this summer.

 

I don't really feel comfortable around the doll community here - and on top of that it's really expensive and tiresome for me to take the train to a meetup (I don't live near any of the big towns). I'm always hanging with the same clique anyway, and I'm too uncomfortable to talk to new people.

So for me it's mainly the community and the effort it takes to get to a meetup. I do miss being a part of a huge doll-carrying group entering the Ikea though ^^"

 

I really don't think that's too rude. Personally, at doll meets, I just look at other people's dolls and mostly fuss over my own or a few friend's dolls because some people dislike other people holding their dolls. Unless you know the group of people very well, you might not know how they like other people to treat their doll. So to avoid someone getting very offended or worried about their doll, it's just easier to admire other people's dolls from afar. I don't see it as rude, just polite.

 

Do you feel you're too old or too young? Nope, I don't think anyone's ever too old for fun, and I'm not young enough to be too young sadly
Do you think you or your doll won't be liked? Pfffft! No literally, if someone didn't like my doll I'd probably blow a raspberry at them.
Do you think your outfits aren't worthy of showing off? Oh please, most dolls look great naked, so do the clothes really matter?
Do you think you're not worthy of showing off, or afraid of what others will think of you personally? Well, I don't like to show off, so that may be a little facet of it.
Are you afraid to bring your doll out, for fear of damage or theft? Yes, I'm always paranoid about stuff like that.
Did you or someone else have a bad experience? Yeah, I've never encountered very good atmospheres at most meets I've gone to (dolls & bears, anime, not bjds meets).
Are you afraid it will be silly because you have no doll? N/A
Are you nervous it would make you want to purchase new dolls? Yes, and that would be bad right?
Are you expecting, with all the youth on DoA, a group of immature, loud, sex-crazed teenagers who'll grab your doll without asking and strip it naked? (Heh.) I am now perplexed.

 

www.tdaf.ca/myBB Yeah, we're out there. We just don't organize meets here on DOA (though I'm honestly not sure why not...) And don't get scared off by what I'm going to say - there are some great people in the community who will welcome you warmly.

I used to go to a lot of meets, but I recently decided to stop going to the main ones. I liked to 'drift' a lot between the various groups that formed, but as time went on, I found I just didn't end up fitting in any of them. I still plan on attending mini-meets when I'm pretty sure I'll have someone to talk to. But otherwise, it's just not worth it anymore for me. I could go around blaming it entirely on the local community, but I think fault goes equally with myself for letting it happen and taking certain things too personally.

When I did go, I never really worried about theft. There was one time I remember when there was this weird guy in the park where we were holding the meet, and he started asking questions about their value and getting overly interested in them. We all crowded around the dolls and kept our eyes on them while fielding the questions. We looked after each other's dolls really well ^_^ It was kind of cool.

 

I'm a pretty active meetup goer, but I've talked to several people that don't go to meetups and they all have valid and good reasons. I myself am thinking of withdrawing from being so active with my local community becuase over the last year I've really neglected a lot of things for the sake of going to meetups. I've also spent a ton of money in gas becuase I'm one to drive to wherever up to an hour away. We have such a large group of people just the sheer number of people are starting to intimidate me. A dozen or less perfectly fine, that's how it was when I started. Monster meets (as I've started calling anything with 25+ people in attendance) have started to become rather un-fun to me and doing something every weekend is really detering me from my home chores, using my weekend to rest, and even recently working on some of my doll faceup comissions. I've always been very active, I think sometimes I want to go to meets to make sure that the person hosting it isn't alone, but for a lot of the reasons people choose not to go, I'm finding those reasons to apply to myself to not go so much.

 

I haven't been to one yet ... but not really for any of the reasons stated in the original post.
It's almost always been scheduling conflicts - the last one was on my wedding anniversary and the next one in my area, I'm working the day it was tentatively scheduled for (so there's still hope!)
I had to miss the one at the local anime convention due to the cost - well, more like justifying the cost. I'm not much of a fan, and the one day ticket price was a little too steep to meet people and their dolls when little else at the convention would have interested me.
I do feel a little awkward, because I don't have my doll yet ... but that's just me (I used to be incredibly shy, and sometimes it still pops up) - the second I joined this site, I got an invite to a doll meet through a PM, inviting me to come see the different types of dolls, 'play' with them, etc, so I know nobody would care that I don't have one yet.

 

I would say consensus is for most of us we have plans with family when most of these happen. I am lucky when i can attend the bigger ones, but the few small ones start late on a Sat or worse a Sun and I have long enough drive to and from in one day. I prefer an early start and a flexible end time so i can leave to be home for supper. I am sure many of us wish we could hold meet ups, but when you live in small towns it can be hard to give directions. I think with more getting GPS systems we can go without fear of getting lost.