Why does everyone need to accept?

That is a really good point..I'd rather not have a bunch of amateur psychonalysts on my case all the time.

 

well said paul! i dont see why people would want acceptance for what they personlly enjoy and love because its their own personal preference, however, i dont know how people can not find these dolls beautiful hehe

 

It's not that everyone has to love bjd's and all want one--it's that people should have enough maturity and respect to not be rude and insulting. If someone finds my dolls scary or me weird, fine. Just keep it to yourself. My enjoyment of bjds has nothing to do with weather or not other people are into them. If they become mainstream (which I strongly doubt they would), I wouldn't love or enjoy them any less. If things stay as they are, fine. I would just like people to be a little more respectful, because guess what, words *can* hurt.

 

*nods* I definitely think it's more about respect than anything else, I don't care if you don't like my dolls, but that doesn't give anyone a right to stereotype me in some way, shape, or form.

Of course with me, most of the time, I tend to laugh at the people who try and lump me into this or that category because I happen to own dolls, watch anime, and do half a dozen other things usually thought reserved for those a bit younger than me (I'm 26, I'm supposed to have a career, an SUV, a mortgage, a husband, and 1.7 kids by now, right? *makes a face* Not bloody likely.)

 

I think an aspect of this issue many have missed is what the dolls represent for many of the BJD hobbyists here on DOA... It's not uncommon to hear people refer to their dolls ask their kids or children, a tendency which seems to stem perhaps from the image Volks portrays of them. Of course people are going to get upset when the 'child' they've put time and effort into is rediculed by a stranger... just as any real parent would... but thats just my anthropological way of looking at things *^^*

 

Like many others I don't care if people don't like the hobby - I just care that they still act nicely towards me. It isn't exactly nice to be told constantly that I must be doing voodoun or something. As long as people don't grab one of my kids or try to destroy something I've worked on, I'm pretty much ok.

 

I think so you can share, and have a wider area to enjoy your dolls than just at home with a the few doll people who lives near you.

No one likes being teased.

 

It would be nice if people were more respectful, but I don't think it's realistic to expect that they will be. I also think this is an extremely unusual hobby, and seems even stranger to people from the outside. They don't usually understand how attached people are to their dolls. I don't think most people mean to be rude when they ask how much it costs, where it came from, or why we collect them. And sticker-shock is completely understandable - most people don't drop $300+ at once on their hobby (most hobbies, you string it out over several purchases so you don't even realize how much you've spent).

Maybe I don't have much faith in the politeness of my fellow man... but I just don't share my hobby with people I don't know well. I'm a rather sensitive individual, so I intentionally avoid situations where I might be offended when possible. It doesn't hurt me not to share my dolls (or other hobbies) with co-workers or acquientances. I have a very rich inner life.

 

I guess I'm one of the only ones who's not too sensitive about this topic. I frankly don't care what anyone says about my doll collecting. I've been teased for enough other things in my life that there's not much more you can tease me for. I avoid conflict by not taking my dolls to places they won't be appreciated i.e. the grocery store or to a ...sports bar (that's all I could come up with- lol!). But anywhere I take my girls, it's amongst my friends and my friends are weird enough and have enough weird hobbies of their own (getting clown make-up permanently tattooed anyone?) that they accept whatever I throw their way. If they didn't they wouldn't be my friends, end of story. Why would I hang out with people who would mock me for the hobby I love? I just don't have time for people who would act like that. I don't try and change anyone's mind or expect anyone's respect- I just walk away, because of all the things I could get upset about in life, this is just not that important.



Plus at my house, we also own vintage clown/circus items, eyeless ventriloquist dummies, weird vintage toys and models, naked lady paintings, and my boyfriend has a gigantic insect collection so there's way weirder things at my house then dolls at this point.

 

I certainly don't share my doll hobby with my coworkers as they wouldn't be able to relate to it. While I have no qualms about showing any pics from my photography hobby, at least it's something they can relate to. Everyone takes pics.

My doll hobby is a lot more personal to me as it's something I share with others who have the same interest in it.

I don't expect people outside of the hobby to understand it at all because what they know of a doll hobby are those that collect dolls. I certainly don't collect these dolls. Once I explain that I occassionaly customize mine, they see that it's more than just "collecting" and that there is a bigger value out of the hobby than one that is just monetary.

 

It's not so much that i want EVERYONE to accept my hobby. I don't expect that and i don't really want that, the people that care about me the most do accept it and everyone else dosen't matter. BUT i do think that people should have common manners. They shouldn't be rude, they shouldn't be mean, no matter how much they don't "get" it. I hate that politeness seems to be something that's been completely forgotten. saying "whatever, dolls aren't my thing" or just saying nothing at all is WORLDS different than saying "Ewww that's the ugliest thing in the world get it away!" One is completely reasonable while the other is hurtful and unessicary. For me personally, i don't require nor want everyone to understand. I just want people to be polite, and i personally don't think that's too much to ask.

But, i also don't take my dolls where i know they won't be appriciated. They're appriciated at home, my boyfriend and closest friends like my dolls if not for the dolls themselves, because they are something important to me. (I have to say, i really do feel for the people who's dolls aren't accepted by their significant others/families) I also NEVER tell anyone how much my dolls cost (and my dolls were both fairly inexpensive as far as this hobby is concerned.) As someone who's dressed goth for a long time and had lots of weird hobbies, i know when i'm asking for it, you know? you just have to be prepared for people to be jerks and accept it if you want to be true to yourself and yourself is kind of weird.

 

I've got a filter on my LJ for my dolly posts -- not because I'm afraid I'd lose friends over it, but just because I *know* it's not to everyone's taste, and if they want to see the majority of my doll pics, photostories, etc., they can ask to opt into the filter.

I don't care if *anyone* around me likes/cares about/even understands my doll collecting/customizing/etc., but I'd rather not have nasty disrespectful comments made. Then again, I tend not to surround myself with people who say incredibly rude things about someone else's interests . . .

I could give a rat's ass what the rest of the world thinks of my resin crew, as long as they don't touch them without asking

I do agree, though, that it's more an issue of "Why does doll-collecting have such a negative stigma involving psychological dysfunction," rather than "I want all the world to luuuuuv my dollies!"

-- A (who isn't a dog person, I was attacked by a dog as a child, I'm really disturbed and offput when even small dogs get near my face . . . but I don't feel the need to tell all my friends with dogs that they're keeping filthy horrible fleabags in their house and that they're likely to get their throats bitten in their sleep . . . I just ask nicely that if they have dogs that tend to jump up, could they please put them in the other room or outside while I'm visiting. Even though I have a *legitimate reason* to fear or hate dogs, I don't -- I actually quite like some of them. At a safe distance.)

 

Did you happen to hear Bill Mahr (who I generally really enjoy) making rude comments about doll collectors? Oh, I was close to writing a letter.................

In general, I couldn't care less what people think of my hobbies, but then I'm old and I don't care much what people think of me in general! LOL... I've grown to be very comfy in my own skin, and as long as people leave me the heck alone, they can think what they want. But they'd best not touch my kids...

 

I don't knwo if its the same guy, but yes I remember recently hearing a radio program where the guy accused doll collectors of being child molesters and perverts. May not be the same one, but eh.
Jumping on the defensive would've just given him more to shout about... The radio guys don't care about how you actually feel, when someone calls in and tries to calmly explain their point of view to them he hangs up.


But anyways, back on topic.
I do wish people would respect the hobby a little more, and especially stop calling them sex dolls and viewing them in that light.
Thats the biggest problem I have with people whenever I'm looking at doll stuff. The media doesnt do anything to help this image, making one of the sickest criminals on the show Law and order (or csi, dont remember which) be an avid doll collector. One of my friends in particular likes to call me a pedophile, child molester, anything he can to hurt my feelings. My other friend politely asks me not to include him in my hobby, and I respect that.

I think that if more people could react like my second friend, and quietly and politely request that you not involve them with that aspect of your life if you can avoid it, then we wouldn't have so much of a problem.

Whereas people like my first friend, instigating things and calling names, only add fuel to the fire and make it worse.

 

I honestly don't mind the stares- I got lots of rude stares when I took Az out, but I'm used to that because of the way I usually dress, and I had fun with it. People generally don't like to be caught staring; it embarasses them. And it does seem that I'm going to be more likely to get stares than outright nasty remarks; let's face it, in small towns, they'd rather do it behind your back. And I'm used to that too.

What does bother me, is when people question the choices I made for Az. "I don't like it with white hair," or "it looks like a girl." Or even comments about his character. Azure is Azure, and that's all there is to it. He is supposed to have white hair (well, with blue streaks, but he didn't have them then) and he is supposed to be slightly feminine-looking. I'm not going to change him because he's not up to somebody else's standards. I can't say it doesn't offend me just a little (or a lot, depending on the situation), when somebody expects me to change him because they don't like something about him. It took a long time to let Azure develop as a character, and it also took a long time to decide on just the right doll for him.

I'd prefer it if other people would stick to staring and keep their mouths shut. You know: "if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." But people aren't that polite.

But my parents think Azure is beautiful, my best friend thinks it's cool, and for every rude stare I get, the compliments and gushing over Az from other people make up for it. I've figured out that it doesn't really matter what the rest of the world thinks.

 

People will dislike you for whatever reason they choose. When you make fun of someone, you do it because in some way your way of life has been threatened. Your own insecurities and self-doubt are easy prey for others who share those same feelings... we/they smell our own.

All I can say is to stop and remember that the people who think your doll hobby is weird probably have a hobby or interest that you think is totally stupid, too. Then, you're even. Case closed.

I, too, have a special filter reserved for the friends on my LJ who care about dolls, and that's where I make my doll posts. All of my male friends are not interested. Many of my female friends are not interested, and that's cool, because I've got other interests to share with those people.

Like Paul, I don't think it's a big deal if people don't like my dolls. I don't even think it's a big deal if there's a very outward ashow by anyone of just how little they like my dolls... it's not about me! It's about them. Tastes are subjective. You really can't fault anyone for what sort of things interest them... unless it's going to bring physical or psychological harm to another person or is flat-out illegal. It's nice to have respect, but it's not always going to be there, sometimes not even from the people you love the most. It's very painful, but it's a bitter truth of life.

Yeegh! I just reread that and realized how incredibly bitter that last paragraph is sounding. I hate to end on such a down note, so my best advice to anyone who is worried about how others view their hobby is to live life for yourself, not for anyone else.

 

As many wise people have said, it's not necessarily that we all want to 'convert' everyone to... BJDism..(What...? XD Sorry, It's exam week. my brain = dead.)

It's more of wishing someone could be mature enough to accept our hobbies and not just see it as something to lampoon. @_@; Believe you me, tho, as soon as BJDs start popping up in consumer stores, I am SO out of Dodge. XD

For my LJ friends, I try and keep my doll stuff seperated... Under cuts and whatnot. For photostories, I try and take a picture of the landscape as the first image before the cut. I try not to have doll pictures lurking around my LJ all the time. XD but then again... about 70% of the people on my LJ are doll people, so... O.o;

 

After MANY years of bullying I've hardened to what people say to me. Btw, Telling me I have green hair DOES NOT insult me. Yes, aren't people clever with their insults these days?

Anyhoo, I admit I posted a topic recently about my college...people downright slagging my doll. I wasn't looking for sympathy or whining, I simply wanted to tell the people here about a reaction to my doll. It happened to be a terrible one. I DO NOT want everyone to love BJDs, but I would prefer they made the effort to bite their tongue rather than bombard me with rude comments about my doll.

The masses are the ones that have caused the utmost problems and bullying in my life, so if they see me with a BJD, I doubt they're going to suddenly be in favour.

 

I just want my mother to stop hassling me about spending money on 'those stupid things' ¬_¬ She doesnt have to understand it, as long as she doesnt say anything to ME about it!