Why does everyone need to accept?

my true friends accept my love of these dolls, but then they also accept that I am a rabid scrapbooker, love reborning vinyl dolls, and a middle aged goth... my TRUE friends accept and embrace everything about me..

I don't give a tinker's cuss about what the rest of the world thinks of me and my hobbies or lifestyle... and I sure as heck am VERY happy that none of the things I do are overly 'popular' in mainstream society... I would slit my wrists if I started to think I was 'normal'

As for the people who put me down because I am a middle aged woman who plays with dolls (or cuts up photos, or wears black PVC and mountains of eyeliner), I just look them up and down and snort softly.. then walk away shaking my head.. its THEIR loss, I am a wonderful person to have as a friend :>

Be well

Carol
Outback Australia

 

Teehee! That's how I feel too!

 

I could care less what people think; I have trouble relating to most people, and so I usually keep to myself. I expect the rude comments, but what gets to me is when they criticize my dolls. Call me crazy or anti-social or whatever, but I'm probably closer to my dolls than I am to any living people. =_=' I don't want to see them ridiculed or exploited by idiots.

 

No...he's not a radio personality - not sure who your guy is... Bill Mahr is a very smart, witty guy with an HBO talk show - always has incredibly interesting guests (ex-prime ministers, presidents of other countries, writers, actors, activists, political figures, etc...) and I usually am cheering him for his liberal, outrageous attitudes - not to mention that he's so damned funny that I sometimes can't breath for laughing. But...he made a comment about someone being "one step from being a doll collector..." and went on from there. I squirmed and winced and was rather miffed with him for being blindly stupid in one direction. But...I know that saying anything just draws more fire. Unfortunately it has dampened my enthusiasm for his program, which is about the only thing on tv that I actually look forward to, other than Curb Your Enthusiasm. Yes, I'm becoming an HBO fangirl....because network sucks SO much. Anyway....one more person who makes stupid comments about hobbies and interests that they don't understand. Hey, I could let go about football, but I don't...

 

As mostly everybody said, its not about 'converting' others into liking the dolls.
I just don't understand why they get such strong negative reactions, almost like anger, from people, instead of casual disinterest.
(also, why does everybody fixate about the price? :/)

 

Yes, I think that respect and acceptance are entirely different than someone liking it.. This sounds a bit OT, but that's one thing about when people 'come out' in their lives alot. People accepting someone being gay and being gay themselves are different-so is people accepting that you have a doll and wanting one of their own. You can respect someone without taking their position or even liking it. I don't agree with people who own guns, but I still respect that right.

 

What an interesting topic!
Here where i live almost NO ONE knows about BJDs so there is no public opinios or similar anyway my friends find my dolls a bit "scary" (oh my god maybe they are right, i have 3 vampires!) ... one of them told me he couldn't sleep with a doll of that kind in his home... i laugh but they think i am a strange girl (oh well... a strange woman, i am not so young at last :P ) and they accept all my odd collections... my twin sister has seen my Shiwoo Vampire and has decided to take it away in her home -.- .... first time my mother has seen a BJD, she called me "a fool"... well maybe i am.. but now she is involved in buy dresses, shoes... etc.. my father.... he has found the dolls totally amazing and now he is buying a new camera to take good photos of them... well i am lucky... anyway i agree with all saying people don't have to like or understand our hobby, just accept it.
I am really happy because i have found this community, so now i have someone with my same taste to talk about BJDs

 

I don't think doll collecting will ever become mainstream really; the cost alone would prohibit casual collectors.

I don't really talk about my dolls too much to my friends because I know it's not something they're really interested in. When I do occassionaly post about the subject on my lj, they're polite about it, which is all I really expect. Yes, it's an odd hobby, but I have odd interests and so do they. Friends should treat each other with respect and not hatefullness and if they can't do that, then they're probably not worthy of being friends with in the first place.

And if they do hassle you about it, you can always quote Garden State: "Don't make fun of my hobbies, I don't make fun of you for being an asshole."

 

I just want people to accept my doll hobby because it makes life easier. Plain & simple. I don't want to convert everyone over to BJD-hobbying, but if they enjoy it, I'll encourage them to find out more info. I just don't like confrontations or people being rude, and if people accept the hobby they aren't rude about it ^^;

 

Something that people keep talking about here is *getting* other people into ABJDs. I am weirdly against that. I feel like I did so much of my own legwork to find out about this hobby that just dropping it into someone's lap is... wrong? I have a few friends who are into ABJDs. One I met here. One got into them on her own, and one found out about them through me. It's not being into dolls that bothers me, it's... the way you get into them.

The third girl doesn't ever do any of her own research, as far as I know doesn't know about this forum, doesn't know anything about the history of the hobby, the difference between the various companies who make dolls, nothing. She didn't even purchase her own doll, she made her husband buy it as a gift.
Whenever she has a question about ABJDs she asks me. She asked me the address to the Torrance store (which she knows about because of me), like I just know the address! It's on the freakin' Volks site. Then she was talking about having her husband get her a mini when she was there. I asked her if she was going to get FCS or a stock one, and she said a stock one. So I asked if knew which one she wanted and she said- the one with dragon ears... there is no non-FCS one with dragon ears. Then I kinda called her on just buying a doll at the store to buy SOMETHING and she agreed that that's what she was doing and got defensive. Bah!

Sadly all this makes me really resent her and also feel jealous (my least favorite way to feel). I understand that you don't just come into this hobby with full knowledge of everything ABJD related, but how hard is it to do a little research? I just feel an emotional attachment to the dolls, the hobby, and Volks, and it makes me sad to see people treating it with so little respect. I think I am just really earnest about some things... and this rant probably made me sound like a super big jerk...

 

When we have new people over for dinner... I discreetly place one of my dolls into the general decor (the rest are safely out of sight upstairs)... If someone notices this doll and 'gets' it... then I am really pleased and can show the rest of my dolls, talk about them, etc...
but if the guest(s) fail to notice or care about my doll then I take it that they are not my kind of person beyond superficial pleasantries, etc. Very disappointing for me, but no real surprise...!

I have always been into dolls. I grew up with antique dealers... there are "thing" people and non-thing people... I've learned. Some people don't understand nice things... doll or otherwise. A true "thing" person would notice an exceptional doll, even if they are not a general doll person, but non-thing people don't notice anything...

Um... well I don't know if I'm right about that... I've met doll people who don't see other nice things so who knows???

In any case, I have found in my long experience as a doll person, that they bring out the worst in the common run. Some kind of cultural anti-feminine thing maybe, I don't know...

Raven

 

I just came from a family vacation type thing, where my cousins were being crass about the dolls being gendered, that's it's disgusting, wrong, and the people that made them were sick and wrong. (and then proceded to say racially off things, but we won't get into that) O_O

My sister said how much they costed, obviously that was unacceptable, despite the fact they have numerous things they spend money on in even larger amounts, things like cars that seem to be wrecked a little too much and often after too many drinks.

And then they decided it would be funny to pick them up oddly and a bit unsafely and such, take off the headcap and other things.

Yea, it sucks. It's why I hate people. ^^; But, I brought it upon myself. I brought Abacus on the trip, knowing that he would be reacted to oddly by certain people, I tackled Abacus away from the people and then proceded to kick their arses, but still. I wasn't expecting respect.

The world isn't respectful, perfect, mature and nice. I don't know why people are so surprised when people react rudely, and then expect the thing that historically, has NEVER been completely there, respect for others, their property, and differences. Why would it be different in the doll hobby? ^^;

All we can do is be accepting and respectful as people to as many others as we can. But, I know all of us are a little disrespectful in some ways too, and are more then capable of offending and hurting others, and have accidentally and even purposely in our lives done it. Maybe it's different, maybe it isn't.

 

Unlike a lot of people here, the idea of BJD being "mainstream" really doesn't bother me.
Anyway, I like it when people accept my hobbies. I'm into a lot of "fringe-y" things, including but not limited to shouen-ai manga, Harry Potter (the books only), and, of course, ABJD, to name a few. Online, of course, it is easy to find other with similar tastes and interests, but in the real world?
Most people in my school would be totally squicked by my shounen-ai, nobody reads the books anymore, it seems, and only a few of my friends like BJD.
I, for one, like having people around who share my hobbies, which is why I would love for more people to accept it.

 

I think you'r partially right. =) maybe you don't have to be a thing person to be a doll person but most people I know who can find beauty in "objects" are more open to my doll, even despite the cost and everything. =)

take my mum for example...she's not a doll person at all, but she is a "thing" person and she does think my boy is beautiful (of course, she says he looks like a boyish girl, but the love is still there!!! XD) She wasn't against me getting him in any way, and actually was the one that allowed me to order him as a christmas present. =D

 

Honestly... I don't care.

I think there are a lot more things I could get worked up about people respecting (i.e., my gender, my skin color/ethnicity) than dolls. And, people are always going to be rude, disrespectful, and downright nasty. If everyone got along in the world, I'd probably pee my pants in fear. Sure, respect is nice, but it's not always going to be there.

A few of my friends don't respect my doll hobby, and I find it perfectly acceptable. I find one of my friend's obsession with Harry Potter obscene and ridiculous. But she's my friend not becuase we have every single hobby the same, but because we have mutual respect, and I know I can always count on her to be there for me.

The end. n_n

 

I agree that I don't really care what others think of what I do, but that probably comes from always having had more 'alternative' hobbies - according to my peers in the place where I grew up I should be in the middle of popping out my fourth baby by now (I'm 21). Since girls' main hobbies where I'm from are having kids and going out and getting smashed every night of the week, and boys' hobbies are jacking up their cars and going out and getting smashed every night of the week (seeing a pattern here?) ...all in all, I'd rather spend my money on something other than murdering my braincells with drugs and alcohol. So what if the group of teenage girls on the corner don't approve of me? They can go home to their three kids by three different dads, and I can go home to what pleases me.

If we lived our lives according to what everyone else approved that we do, we'd all be miserable.

 

Pop-Tart Queen ::bows::

: D

I agree. ^^

 

Don't care. Everyone's got some hobby that someone else doesn't understand. People might call me names because I like dolls, or because I wear glasses, or because I dress funny. Either way, it's just words. Why get all bent up about it?

 

I don't expect anything from the world. I'm just disappointed when I show or talk about my doll to people whom I consider friends, and they react negatively to the point of anger.

Or maybe it was me and my damn inability to read people anyway.

(And I'm glad Abacus was ok. Man, if you think something is sick and wrong, why keep poking at it? >.>

 

*collects hardcore SHOTA manga*

My doll is much less disturbing than that, though I suppose if you take into account that he's only 13.... >D

Really, I could care less if people think I am a freaky pedophile weirdo for my tastes. I am sure the thoughts I have about them are less than flattering and why should I care about the opinions of other people?

I would LOVE someone to accuse Kurenai of being a sex doll to my face though, just so I can respond with "And how exactly am I supposed to be using him for sex? Please, enlighten me since you seem to have given it quite some thought."