Why does everyone need to accept?

I guess I am too old to care what people think. I show the dolls now and again, sometimes have one or two with me on trips to measure and sew with, and if people get it, they get it and if not, eh.

Strangely someone I know who was the LAST person I would have thought wanted to know more about them. A lot more. Turned out he was floored by them and wanted to get dolls that looked like his Mom and Aunt did in the 1950s to give them as presents!

 

I don't need acceptance. I have my doll friends and that is enough for me

I had one rude encounter with two co-workers but honestly, I think they came out looking very silly to everyone in ear shot But if I had to deal with that every day I would get sick of it too. It is like living with a vegetarian and every time you go to dig into your meat they feel the need to say "Ugh! that is horrible! How can you eat that poor animal?" Honestly it shows a lack of good manners. That is the bit that can be bothersome.

 

As with many others..I don't neccessarily want everyone to accept or like my hobby. But I do want to at least be treated with courtesy and not insult me for liking dolls.

 

I loved this thread so much
People don't need to accept the hobby, I couldn't care less if they love it or hate it! Most people don't even know I like BJDs anyway, they wouldn't be that interested if they did; and if someone thinks I'm weird because of that, probably that person doesn't even know me that well, and it's not like we would become best friends anyway

There are so many things I like or admire that are considered weird by others, so, it would be so troublesome if I cared too much about their opinions.

 

You know, I've never had any problem with people not 'accepting' my doll-collecting. Possibly because, in the arctic, dolls are well-known to be seriously valuable collectors' items, or maybe because doll-collecting is relatively 'normal' compared to the general persona I project.

Either that, or they are all afraid to tick the crazy lady off

 

Need for acceptance is a basic human psychological response to the presence of other humans.

It's a reflexive desire in us, when we have something that we enjoy, for others to accept it and share in our enjoyment.

Reality is that they frequently won't, and some of us are more comfortable with that reality than others.

 

This is a good thread, as I've been on both sides of the fence in this situation. I used to be terribly creeped out by bjd's (though I never said anything out loud), and while finally getting warmed up to the hobby, I'd seen quite a few owners treating their dolls like they were real people or children which sort of made me nervous as well. Now that I'm officially a doll owner myself, I'm starting to see what some of the owners are dealing with in terms of the people who tend to get weirded out by their dolls.

The thing is though, there is never going to be full acceptance for anything anywhere. You've got to understand what it's like on the other side. A few years ago if I'd seen a grown woman carrying a doll half her size into a coffee shop or book store, with said doll looking like a 20 year old effeminate male model with more makeup than his owner, yeah, I'd probably be all; D: It's like the people who run around in cosplay everywhere they go. If you're dressed up like an anime character at school or a restaurant, you're going to get odd looks and comments.

I'd never expect people to just accept my dolls or gtfo. It's silly to think so. Being a doll owner, I've come to accept the fact that not everyone is going to be as happy with them as I am, and that's okay too (Which is the main reason I avoid taking them out in public).

If it really bothers you though, just imagine the guy pointing and snerking at your doll has a creepy crayon-eating fetish or something. And for all you know, he probably does xD

 

Why do we want everyone to accept and appreciate our doll hobby?
In going through the Discussion threads and some of the Dolly Debate threads... I find myself asking this question A LOT.

I've only come up with 1 answer: It's nice to have a large community of people who "get it" because that makes the goods we collectors so covet (dolls, wigs, eyes, clothes, props, etc) more readily available. If there were only a couple hundred people in the world interested in these dolls... well, supply and demand dictates it would be even harder (and more expensive) to find what we're looking for...

...the way I'm looking at it, the people who provide these 'goods' either A) Accept or B) Appreciate this hobby enough to provide a service for all us collectors...

Other than that... I say "fudge" anyone else. My significant other totally supports my hobbies, but he BY FAR does not really "get it" and I'm okay with that... because my girl makes me happy, and that's what her purpose is.

::edit::
CHA1N: "If it really bothers you though, just imagine the guy pointing and snerking at your doll has a creepy crayon-eating fetish or something. And for all you know, he probably does xD"

I'm officialy picturing everyone I don't like as having the above mentioned fetish, I read this and spit my soda out laughing...

 

I have to agree with you. If everyone had a BJD I don't think I'd like them as much. Sure, it might be fun to have more meets in my town, but I'm glad there are only a few other people who have them.
If people don't want to know about it, thats their choice. I'm not gonna go up to every single person who gives me a dirty look when I'm out with my doll and demand they accept or like what I'm doing. Its my stuff, no one else NEEDS to accept or like it. Same way I'm not going to judge someone for playing a videogame that I don't like. Its all about perspective. Just because someone doesnt accept something you like, doesnt meant you have to accept something they like.

 

I basically agree with everything LolaWants said x3

But, really, the only reason I'd want someone, in this case a family member or something, to accept this hobby is so they'd stop criticizing how I spend my money, and scolding me for taking off his head o___O;; (Yeah, going-on-18 and I was nearly grounded for re-(re-re-re-)researching on restringing techniques so his foot, which I can already feel the resin cracking, won't break >__<;;;; Ugh.)

It's the ignorance that comes with not knowing about the hobby that really gets to me, I guess u__u?

 

They don't. They can just kiss my lily white.........

Seriously, I don't expect everyone to like or respect my interests. Not everyone does, and some can be quite rude about it at times. Whether it is table top war games, collecting BJDs, being into Rammstein and Eisbrecher (he must be a gay sado-masochist being into BJDs and liking Rammstein and Eisbrecher together...), role playing games (must be a Satanist to boot), written erotica, poetry (see, told you he was gay), or any number of unusual or esoteric interests or hobbies that I have.

And no, I am not a gay sado-masochistic Satanist, just for the record. Only the sado-masochistic bit is true...

So don't worry what other people think and say, coz they're gonna think and say it anyway whether we like it or not.

Phil.

 

I don't need anyone to like or to understand this or any other hobby I have. Or any aspect of me, really. What I do need is to be accepted, though. I mean, even if I think another person is completely strange for their interest in something I don't 'get', I really try to accept that that's their thing. I may never like it, but part of accepting people is accepting that they have likes and dislikes that may not be my own. And when people don't accept each other, they can be really awful.

=^__^=
Anneko

 

I think people in this hobby have to accept the following:

1) You have a weird hobby.
2) This hobby does not entitle you to a special treatment.

If you are well behaved and don't bother people with your dolls, then all you should get is weird looks and stares. If you get rudeness, the other is at fault, but that's just common sense. You can't expect everyone to understand or like what you like, just that they treat you as well as you treat them. Pretty much what Anneko said.
The "I don't care and they can kiss my ass" attitude is rather childish. I'm all for being confident in your choices and standing up for yourself, don't get me wrong, but if you don't care that people may be confused, surprised or unable to "get" what's going on, don't expect them to care enough to try to understand you or your hobby.

 

i do agree with you!!

 

QFT.

Phil.

 

This right here.

I don't really 'care' if anyone accepts or respects me for my weird hobbies... then again I don't bring my bjds into public areas where normal people see them. I have enough sense not to force people to look at my dolls and then complain if they are immature about it. If people will openly mock others for their looks or weight, what makes people think they wouldn't be rude to an adult carrying around a doll? Not all people are rude out there but you have to expect that not everyone will be accepting.

When I am at a meet I stay respectful of those around me, in and outside of the hobby. There's no need to give such hobbies a bad rep and draw unwanted attention. I heard some bjd owners in my previous state are banned from a certain restraunt due to their behavior...these situations really don't help.

 

I don't care if people don't accept my hobby, as long as they don't bug me. I don't have a doll yet, (Am Saving up for my first.) but somehow, my classmates know it! (I didn't even tell them!!!) And they started blabbering about how childish I am!!! They don't even know what they're talking about!O_O They hear the word "doll" and automatically think that it's the toy doll, that cries and poops, and stuff. So... I really don't care if people can't accept my hobbies, but if they start saying mean things about the dolls/me, I get really upset....-.-" "Luckily" there are only 4 people, who can't accept the fact that I'm going to pay 600 dollars for a doll, the others don't care about it...x"""D Though I'm glad, that not every second person has one. That's what makes this hobby special.

 

As everyone else has said, all we want is to be treated like this is a NORMAL hobby.

I hate it that people who collect anime cards/merchandies are treated as nerds while those who collect baseball cards, etc are usually generally accepted. But that's another rant.

Luckily I have not been ridiculed for owning one...Ironically I get a lot of compliments with Christopher...unless they talk behind my back, which I cannot know for sure. Ah well

 

This. I don't even feel a need to be "accepted" as long as I'm not discriminated against in any area where it matters. For example, if someone didn't want to rent me an apartment, lend me a mortgage, or let me work at a certain job because I privately had dolls, I'd have a problem with that. And the key word is PRIVATELY, I wouldn't expect them to be understanding of me bringing a bunch of dolls publicly to the office or the bank and fussing over them the whole time.

The vast majority of people are mature enough not to neb into a person's private hobbies and also, they generally just don't care because they're busy with their own lives.

I think most of the "acceptance" issues in the doll hobby really stem from people who are close to the collector, who the collector just can't get away from that easily, i.e. parents, other family members, close friends who aren't into dolls, partners, spouses, etc. That's not so much about the doll itself as it is about the frustration of someone who you love on some level, or are maybe just stuck with (at least in the case of parents or relatives), just not understanding some key part of your life.

 

I take my dolls places with me, but I'm really ready to put up with getting some odd looks, and even having people just be like.. "God! Freaky child doll!" it happens sometimes, you just deal with it. They are creepy to some people, they do look realistic, they're large, they stare sometimes, it sets people ill at ease.

It's nice to have people understand your hobby, it's nice to have people think the dolls are beautiful, which is I think why I get very excited when people do like my dolls and do accept it, my family for one, I was so pleased when my aunt and grandmothers took a shine to my dolls at Christmas, I really was.

Some of my friends do tell me they're freaky, but they're not mean about it, so for that I'm very pleased.

I think the acceptance is something people want because it makes you feel good, but in this hobby you do need to understand that it's not going to be a constant thing I guess, that's just how I feel about it. ^_^