Why does everyone need to accept?

Ohh what a question.. Its mind boggling 8D!

I find that, people seem to accept almost everything else. Why not BJDS? This is a hobby in which, there is a pretty good chance whether people do and do not like these dolls.
This hobby gets so close down to peoples inner personalities, their thoughts, and their ideas. By wanting people to accept these dolls, they basically want people to accept them. Them meaning, their own personalities.

 

I think some people can't accept dolls because they are something children play with and they don't understand the beauty of them or that they are their own character. I think it makes much more sense than buying overpriced guns (no ofense to those who have guns, but to me it's creepy) I don't usually mind that people don't get it, but I wish some would respect it. I know shes just a kid, but the day after I got him my husbands 8 year old cousin took my boys wig off and then laughed at him and said he was "evil" that really made me mad especially since she is smarter than an average 8 year old but then acts like a brat and say really hurtful things knowing she is being mean.

 

I'm honestly not looking for acceptance and have no real desire to bring my dolls outside of the house at this point, save to photograph them. I only care about other BJD collectors. I had to stash one of my doll's at my partner's house for a while and I got annoyed that his mom discovered it and was really interested. I would have preferred she not know, even though she is a doll collector herself (not BJDs). I have yet to bring the BJD hobby up with her again, because It makes me kind of embaressed given what else she knows about me and my gender issues and there being some uncertaintly/lack of communication. Yeah, about that... --- time to go!

I think of it as a kinda guilty pleasure and one of the only things I do just for me and my enjoyment and spend money on. I don't want to be known as a 'doll person' at all and I feel embarrassed thinking that some people might think of me in that way. Sorry... I used to feel differently but now I don't see myself revealing to just anyone that I have this hobby. When people who don't know me for a long time discover I do have a feminine side 'after all' it either freaks them out or makes them smile and nod like they knew something all along. I find both equally headache-inducing. Not because I dislike femininity, but because people are stupid about what impressions they get from femininity. There's not much of a difference between what we do in this hobby and what they do in other hobbies, just the subject/materials are different. Actually we put a lot of nerdy research energy and hard work into these dolls and do all kinds of amazing things with them like mods, photography, custom things... We dont just sit around on an oversized doily rug brushing a doll's hair and having tea.

I do care about outward appearance and I do not like 'letting people in'. I know by now I can't trust people to know a lot about me long before I have a good idea of who they are. I don't even take my wallet out of my pocket to put it in the kid's seat, so like heck I'd want my doll where someone could nab it and/or pass judgement... It's a dirty, terrible world and I've known too many rats, hopeless and terrible people and too many people who seem fine at first and will turn anything around into something that hurts you almost as if it were their purpose in life. People will use your interests to say 'oh, look she wastes a lot of money and has nothing better to do and can't be taken seriously as an adult'. I decided I'm better off waiting till I know someone likes anime or something before revealing the BJD hobby. I've just met too many people who surprised me with how much of a pain they became. Surprisingly neurotic people and people who hold their tongue for a long time and then finally reveal what they think of your interests during a fight (which is probably the most mature time in the world to complain about someone's irrelevant hobbys and interests.) and you realise they didn't need to know some things.

My sentiment is this.. seek acceptance where it's safe. Anyone who doesn't need to know something neccesarily who might go spreading annoying impressions to everyone else in the clique/company/community...

 

I don't expect everyone to accept my hobby. I'll be honest, I don't understand certain hobbies myself, but I'm not the type to ridicule another person because of it. I understand that others are not as nice, so I keep the BJD hobby more or less a personal detail that only those closest to me know about. I do think BJDs are gaining in popularity slightly, and will continue to do so, but I doubt they will ever become mainstream.

 

I don't want acceptance, just respect and tolerance. People don't need to love my dolls or understand why they're so fascinating to me. I can be the 'doll lady' and that's fine by me. I just get irritated when people insult me for having a hobby. It's rude to call someone's passion stupid or say they're too old to enjoy something. It's rude to call someone's artwork creepy (unless they were intentionally aiming for creepy.) I don't expect anyone to want to join my hobby, but I do expect the same treatment I give them when they rave about their video games, fourwheelers, books, guns, sports, crossword puzzles, etc.

 

Everyone doesn't have to accept. They have every right to their own opinions and are free to like what they like. Its not really my business as long as noones getting hurt. All my friends know I have dolls, my family I see often/am really close to know. Its more letting them know just in case it bothers them.

 

Echoing what others have said here, but I don't really need anyone to accept my hobbies. I'm gonna enjoy my dolls whether other people think they're weird or not, but no one who knows about them gives me grief over them. That may have more to do with my demeanor than anyone's acceptance though. They're not exactly something I advertise, but if anyone asks or finds out about them I just enthusiastically talk about my favourites and offer to let the person handle them if they want. So far this hasn't backfired, and people more or less respect my collection, even if they don't quite "get" it. Being an artist with loads of weird hobbies probably helps, though. Friends and family just write it off as another art thing.

 

I like having those people that don't like dolls, they are cool too. I mean they get to have an opinion right, if they don't like my dolls that is cool. For one my partner is neutral on the whole doll thing an doesn't really get the appeal but still supports my love of them. So I think it is cool to feel however you want about dolls.
Also people who call you names and things are just boobs, but bullying is in everything and it's just a matter of surrounding yourself with people who are nice and don't disrespect your choices.

 

Personally, I'd rather people tolerate my dolls than accept them. I mean, you've got to look at this from another perspective, what if everyone else wanted people to accept them and their out-of-the-ordinary hobbies/interests?

Not saying that acceptance isn't a good thing, but really, there are allot of things other people are into that I don't particularly like. I wouldn't want them to expect me to accept them, that's a little entitled in my opinion, but I'm fine with tolerating their 'interests'. I would never mock, harass or otherwise try to harm anyone who participated in something I don't like, but I'm also not going to be all, "I love an accept your [insert unusual hobby], yay~!"

Tolerance seems more likely an easier thing to expect then acceptance from non-bjd people, getting people to accept something their not accustomed to or comfortable with is much harder, I'd rather they just politely stare and say nothing than expect them to like my dolls.

 

Like many others on here, I'm not looking for acceptance. All I ask is tolerance. There's world of difference between the two. People can respect other people's rights without embracing their values or viewpoints. It's as simple as that.

I don't make a secret of my doll collecting, either my BJD or other dolls. It's not a guilty pleasure or something I feel I have to hide from certain people. I feel no guilt or shame about my collection and I think my personal attitude helps others be more accepting of it. My theory is that if I act like I'm doing something that I should be ashamed of or should feel guilty for, then others will interpret the activity as wrong or shameful or weird too, and will be more likely to judge me for it. Nothing says 'perverse' like somebody acting like they're trying to hide the proverbial dirty little secret.

Of course, there are still going to be people who don't accept it, no matter what. There's always going to be that person who thinks it's creepy, weird or perverse. And you know what? That's fine. The only thing I expect from those people is that they don't make a big deal of their opinions or try to use their opinions to shame and hurt me. There are a lot of things I find weird or a waste of time and money as well, and having those opinions isn't wrong. It only becomes wrong when those opinions are used as weapons agaist others. Tolerance is having an opinion but recognizing that others may not share that opinion and respecting that others are free to enjoy things you may not agree with or like.

 

I don't think it's that people want everyone to be into bjds. I think it's more we don't want to be seen as and treated like we are crazy or weird.

 

Well everyone has their own hobbies and likes and dislikes. As long as they respect my hobby i will respect theirs. Thats how civil people act, with respect. Not everyone would be as enthusiastic and excited to have a dolly with them, but if they see me or anyone in this hobby with a dolly and they dont respect us, thats just childish and dumb. Everyone has the right to have hobbies they likes or stuff they like in order to be happy and stuff.

 

I've noticed this seems to be a common topic and I've been thinking about it too... I don't think it's so much a feeling of wanting everyone to be into dolls, more that a lot of people are worried about being judged by their friends or family and it's important to be able to work through those feelings before you can feel really comfortable in a new hobby. I'm glad communities like DOA exist so people can find some support even if irl friends don't get it o/