Will you sell your doll to me?

I'm an Aspie. It's true that we can be enthusiastic, but we're certainly not going to grab something out of your hands like that. I feel your view of the disorder is well-meaning but largely inaccurate; I personally am very uncomfortable with people touching me or my possessions and I would never touch something belonging to somebody else. The understanding you have is more true to low-functioning forms of autism, as like you said, they may not have the mental capacity to understand not to grab things. However, people with Asperger's syndrome always have normal to genius IQ; it's part of receiving such a diagnosis. Please don't feel you have to make the same allowances for us as somebody who is obviously a low-functioning autistic because we are not quite the same.

Also, you do realize that Asperger's Syndrome is a rare disorder, right? It's much, much rarer than low-functioning autism. I can tell you that a con composed mostly of Aspies would be a very small con indeed. Some of us are really quite shy, anyway. Most people at cons are just normal (and sometimes very obnoxious) people. n___n

Anyway, I don't have my doll yet, so this has never happened to me, but if someone asked to keep my doll, I'd probably be really upset. I struggle with anxiety problems and I can definitely say that having someone grab a doll out of my arms would throw me over the edge. I hate it when people touch my things! I don't even let my friends hold my iPod.
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I haven't had anyone ask to buy them yet... But I did see a movie with a doll friend and we had all our kids posing on a table in the theatre lobby and a lady cam eup to ask us questions. We directed her here and told her their prices (to which she suprisingly didn't freak out). I love making people interested, but I'm the kind who would go pretty Hulk-like (it'd be unexpected coming from a short college student ^_^) if they were grabbed from me and I hope I'd still manage to be polite if they insisted on buying them off me.

I'm a little worried though, o_0 I've been to many cons myself, but I'm taking my dolls to AE this summer and I will have a hand on them at all times and make sure I keep all my bags with me. (It gets hard to remember when you have 3+ bags of purchases, cameras and more). I will be most likely staying with other BJD people for the duration of the con, so we'll have to watch out for each other! ^^

 

i havnt got anyone asking to buy my doll from me, but have people ask about where to get them and their cost. i guess those who have been asked to be bought straight off them must have been really amazing dolls

 

No one actually ask to buy mine off me, but there was once, I was standing in front of my aunt's store, and chatted with a girl at cosmetic booth about the new wig I got for my ltf bisou, (I've been showing her the dolls and photo and stuff, so she had an idea how much they cost and stuff) and this lady was walking by, I can see from the corner of my eye that she did a double take at my doll, but I thought she would just keep walking like a lot of other people, but noooo.. she stopped in her stride and walked right towards me.

Then she proceeded to reach out presumably to take the doll out of my hand. At that point I pulled back slightly, and I think that was enough to give her a pause, so she didn't grab my doll, but then she started asking where I bought the doll. I told her I had to order it, then she asked the price, which I didn't really wanna tell her, really. But Well, what the hack I told her to round up prince.. (doll+wig+clothes+shoes etc) she started walking away, muttering to her boyfriend about the price.

The girl I was chatting with, however, was saying that if the doll came looking like this (mine) then the price was worth it.

 

Actually yes I have, on more them one occasion. I was at the mall one with family a year or so ago when I have just gotten my first doll (KDF Ani boy) and I was stopped by F.Y.E by some person. They were asking some questions, which is fine, and then said they wanted him but I turned them down. Next was online on my dA, some one noted me and asked to buy my Sleeping Breakaway 08' and it got a little intense on their end, they didnt take no for an answer until I blocked them @_@"

 

Ditto this. all of it. I can vouch for this as a fellow "Aspie".
In fact when I read this thread's first post, the part of my mind I've come to recognize as the more AS inclinations of my personality was absolutely outraged at the idea of someone grabbing a doll and trying to buy it on the spot. Growing up having to learn societal rules the hard way made me really touchy about people who blatantly disregard the big ones, especially personal space and personal property. You cannot touch what does not belong to you! Bad human, no biscuit.

Asking what it is or where to find one, okay that's cool. But the rabid You-will-sell-me-that approach? No, they're gonna get it with both verbal barrels. And no stranger can grab me without setting off some old reflexive responses that they will not enjoy. (Mixed martial arts stays with you.)
I'm not sure what I would say if I was walking around in public minding my own business holding a doll and someone walked up to me and demanded I sell it to them. "Um, I beg your pardon?? Are you well? Because as you can see, I am not wearing any SALE signs, nor am I carrying a cash register...."

 

I haven't taken my doll out and about with me yet, so thankfully I haven't had to deal with people enquiring about him.

I probably wouldn't particularly mind someone just asking to buy him, since most people aren't going to understand the sentimental and monetary value of BJDs, and I'd just politely tell them no and explain where they could buy their own. If someone started demanding, harassing or trying to touch or even grab the doll then I would definitely be upset.

 

Well I don't specifically remember being asked that in this instance though I may have, but I am one of those lucky people who have had a doll snatched from my hands from some admirer.. crazy chinese lady.. I wasn't too worried though because she was working there at Uwajimaya, so if something really horrible happened because of her messing with customers on the job, i'd get some kind of compensation..

I didn't really get that mad...I was laughing nervously more...

I admit, if she wasn't working there, I'd have been a lot more concerned. As it was, I knew she couldn't just run off with it or something (she did start walking away with him to show her friend... I just followed baffledly).

I look back on the experience as one of those hilarious things you encounter in the hobby.. it makes a funny story, and no harm was done. I still take Allan out all over the place with no fears and he still has no damage to show for all he's been though

 

I have no doubt that you personally could assess the situation better. But in my working life I've worked with a lot of people with various learning disabilities, including AS, and it also runs in my wife's family and a couple of my friends have diagnoses. It might be rare, but oh, is it ever a big part of my life. The doll behaviour is something I could completely recognise from my experience of situations I used to struggle with, because patrons with AS, my in-laws and friends seemed deliberately rude and hurtful but also incapable of understanding their behaviour as such. And while it may be rare in the general population, it does cluster around geeks and collectors (thus my friends), or vice versa - this is hardly news.

I'm not going to argue about this or come back to this, because unfortunately AS is very hard to discuss in a balanced manner because of AS activists who push myths and generalisations as fact in books and websites. I just think it's worth while asking ourselves if someone means to be obnoxious and overwhelming, or if there's a chance they have a genuine reason not to realise their behaviour is problematic. A little loving kindness never hurts.

I do apologise if I seemed rude myself - I was basing it on both my experiences and extensive reading I did in order to increase my own understanding about the important people in my life. I didn't mean to suggest that all people on the autistic spectrum would act that way, only that it was a possible explanation for that woman's behaviour, based on observed similarities. I'm sorry if I didn't make that clear.

 

Not directly, though last year in May when I visited some Kokoryta in Montreal, she and Creamyjade and I went to see Cirque du Soleil and took our dolls all dressed up for the occasion... in the large tent before the show they sell lots of expensive decorative souvenirs so as we carried out dolls around we heard quite a few comments along the lines of "where did they get those dolls from??" as people started to search for the corner of the tent they assumed we'd bought ours from...

 

I've only had this happen once, and it about put me in tears as the doll in question is my mother's memory doll. I was horrified at first - Mom died in July after a very short battle w/cancer. After I'd recovered from the shock, I was a little flattered that someone wanted the doll named after and based on my memories of my mother. But it was a hard encounter to weather. The person asked in passing how much she was, then asked would I sell her, and then asked if I was sure - because they really wanted her. I ended up telling them they could buy the blank doll on eBay or DDE, offered to provide them pics of her face-up and told them where to find the wig and clothing. They really wanted to buy her off me, on the spot, and I just kept saying I could NOT sell them my doll for any reason.

 

If some one asked me (no one has yet lol) i would be like ''Uh no sorry look it up you dont even know where there made at''
Kind of harsh but after that i would just walk away.
Its best!!!

 

Wow...that's really kind of stressful. Did they keep bothering you about selling the doll?

While I haven't had this happen to a doll (since I'm still saving for one ), someone wanted to buy an heirloom jade and diamond ring that belonged to my great aunt. She had bequeathed it to me shortly before she died and I was very close to her. Her death hit me really hard since she was a prominent figure in my life. The person who wanted to buy it off of me kept bothering me even though I already explained the significance of the ring to her.

 

This happened when I organized a meet at the Freehold Mall- More than once, people came up to the tables where we were and asked to buy one or more of the dolls. As the organizer, I generally spoke up first and kindly explained to people that the dolls were our personal collections and were not for sale, and most people understood this and were curious where they could get one of their own, but we did have one group of ladies who were especially pushy and .. well, downright rude.

They got snippy when I said they weren't for sale, and replied something akin to "Well, why not?! If you're displaying them here, we should be able to buy them!"

I explained that we weren't a company, nor were we vendors, and gave them website information of some of the dolls they had liked, and they 'happily huffed' away, if such a thing is possible.

I have never had anyone specifically approach me about buying my doll, as I generally carry her like an accessory and asking to buy her off of me would be as strange as asking to buy my purse or skirt. I have had people ask where she comes from and how much she cost, though.

 

"Bad human, no biscuit."...That's freakin' hillarious!

I have had a person try to take my Mintie from my hands before as they asked where they could 'get one'. I just pulled her closer and directed her to DOA. (easier than the whole Japan, Korea, etc. answer)
Mostly, I have found most people aren't grabby and have never had someone outright ask to BUY my dolls. That IS really weird.

this has been an interesting thread.

 

I've never had anyone specifically ask to buy one of my dolls. This doesn't really surprise me as they don't come outside with me unless it's to a meet or a photo op. I also have fairly common sculpts, so it's not as though I have unattainable dolls.

It's likely just as well. I'm not known for my cordiality if someone says something that rubs me the wrong way, and that would most assuredly rub me the wrong way. Several wrong ways, actually. I admire the people who can actually say "no the doll is not for sale"; my answer would be more along the lines of "**** off".

I save my politeness for the office.

 

Several times. I hate taking my dolls out in public as it is, but I've been stopped mid-conversation several times asking if they can have/buy my dolls.

I remember one particular woman asked if I could meet her at the same place the following day so we could discuss her buying one of them even after I told her multiple times mine weren't for sale and even wrote down some web addresses for her. She said 'but they won't be painted and dressed up like your's.' She was really insistant, offering me various low monitary values, saying 'well, your's it's second hand, no one else would offer that much (£200) for a plastic doll'. I told her their worth and second hand worth, but she wasn't interested. So I just agreed to meet her (and did not turn up!).

Another kid (fourteen-fifteen maybe) just refused to let go of my Lishe. I was trying to take photos and stuff with a friend but she just wouldn't lay her hands off. I politely told her I wanted some pictures with some grassy scenery in the background but she stood so close I got her in every picture, and then she grabbed her again after every. Single. Photo. Urgh. She was really insistant about buying her from me 'because she's pirate-perfect' - according to her - and walked away with a hand written list of doll sites. =/

I have a certain tollerance for ignorance when someone doesn't know anything about the hobby, but it's not ignorance when someone won't leave you alone after that first 'no'. It's pig-headedness and rude. I understand the frustration of starting from scratch for those who are not artistically minded, but it's the nature of the hobby.

And really, if you saw someone with a nice pair of boots or a nice bag or scarf, would you walk up to them and ask to buy it? Really?

I've had plenty of people politely ask about them, and I've happilly told them about the forums and doll buying sites. Some people have even mistaken me for a seller (there are a lot of stalls with unusual products in the town centre) but once corrected they were appologetic and polite about obtaining one from a proper site. One woman was so sweet she wrote down everything I'd said, including my DoA screen name, and told me her daughter would be in touch to let me know if anything became of it so I could see how it went.

 

The most I got is someone asking me what brand my BJD was from.

Other than that I never got much questions, but I don't take Christopher out as much.

 

If someone approached me directly and politely asked to buy my dolls, I would just as politely say no. However, I do object to rudeness and 'puppy-dog eye' tactics. If you grab my doll, there is no hope in hell of me even considering selling my doll to you, and if you try and pathetically guilt me into giving you my doll because you 'love it', I will think less of you. Any aggressive attempts to make me sell/give away my dolls will result in equally aggressive responses.

I am very conscious of personal space and I hate other people touching me or my belongings without my permission. I would never get in someone else's personal space or touch their things without asking, so I'm not very polite with people who violate my space. I'm sorry if I've inadvertently offended other people who don't have as strict spacial parameters around them, but I believe it's best to be safe than sorry.

And the woman who insisted that someone give their doll to her child because the child was making a racket about keeping the doll?! Children might have that reaction to things, but it's the job of the parent to tell the child that they can't have everything they see in front of them. I would find it hard not to be polite to a person like that who is teaching their child that making a scene is a valid way of getting what you want. I would also find it hard to be polite to someone who couldn't take no for an answer.

This hasn't happened to me yet because I keep my dolls within easy reach of my doll bag when we go out and about. I have thought about making business-card size information notes so people can go and google the dolls & visit the sites. Sometimes rudeness can be mediated with a little bit of information, because most of these rude people have no idea how much the dolls mean to us.

 

Uh well..currently my boy is STILL a floating head..but..if someone wants to HAVE him..I still would be pretty upset! He's MINE after all. Grins.