Worried about showing favouritism to your dolls?

My big worry about dolls is that I derail writing projects to privilege certain characters their doll is inspiring me. I've been known to write with Shrike and Aura side by side at my laptop, to remind me that Ness isn't the protagonist. Yet. They (and possibly their sister) are the protagonist(s) of the prequel, but they're a supporting character in the current draft, and it doesn't matter how much I love them, I can't overshadow all my current storyline just because I love them. Or the flip side, that their doll falls flat and so does their character.

I'm currently at 26 dolls, which is wild to me. I'm not clicking with all of them, but a lot of them really inspire me, and I'm working on the others. And a lot of them are in pieces being modded.

 

I do try not to show favoritism to my dolls but I rotate who I spend some time on. When I get a new doll I get very excited sorting out their clothes and look. At the moment I just got two of my dolls new faceups but I realized in that time since I got my Iplehouse guys fixed up that I hadn’t spend much time with my DS Bernard who was my first doll and my Supia Rosy who is my only girl. I bought them some new clothes recently because I knew they needed some after nearly a year in the same outfits.

 

I just have my second boy in december and I like him more than my first. It's ok for me. A comfort item won't judge you because it's not alive.

 

I do have a favourite though lately its been hard to focus on the hobby so hes kinda unfinished with what im trying to do with him, otherwise he is a favorite that hasnt been written out of my story in some way. Even his brother has... some characters has stayed, others ive retired for now.

I have many dolls and the "universe" of my dolls revolve around him essentially in some shape or form.

plus he gets clothing first and the rest of the boys (who the same things fit) all gets hand-me-downs or did. But i do try to handle all of them at some point (otherwise, i may feel like they need to go into witness protection -- new identities in my crew or other peoples crew)

 

I never had any motherly feelings, for my dolls or any other plastic toy. I love my cats to death; I would literally die for them, give them my kidneys, etc., if that were possible but I don't think that's parental love. They are living beings however, I feel it would be pretty freaking *sshol3-ish of me, if I didn't at least feel that much for them. I was the one that wanted them in my life, but I see them as my precious fur family, not as my children (it grosses me out to think of me in a motherly fashion, I guess).

However, all my dolls are toys (regardless of price), I do sometimes feel guilty that I purchased as many/little BJD as I did, and do pretty much squat with most nowadays. I don't feel it out of guilt of neglect toward them, because I know they don't feel anything. I feel guilt because maybe I could have saved (more) money towards other types of toys I missed out on at the time (that now I can't get due to second market prices). In the end, they are already here and I have no plans to sell them. If I do anything with them that's great, if I don't, they don't care -- I wish I did do more with them, because I have the ideas in my mind, but I am an old lazy bum (I rather procrastinate). DX

 

I also do not have motherly feelings towards anything including dolls and thus I am not really worried about the favoritism thing in that regard.

I had my first doll for several years before I was able to get a second doll so it's inevitable for the first one to be more spoiled. As much as I love all of my dolls, my first doll (Nadeko) is and will always be the favorite and I can't say that I'm too concerned in trying to change that. I do try to set aside time/resources for each doll though with how busy life has been lately that's just changing their clothes and poses in their room so I have something different to look at when I open the closet.

 

It's okay to favor your first doll more than the others, although it may not be the most expensive doll or the best sculpt...anything. My first doll is also spoiled! This does not mean that I love my other BJDs less. First love is always a little different than the others.

 

As others have mentioned, dolls are not pets.

A doll is not a living creature that has physical and emotional needs. A doll's needs are merely perceived. Technically, a doll does not even need clothing. The doll owners need the doll(s) to have clothing. For instance, all my dolls must have underwear. Does anyone see the underwear? Nope. I do that for myself. At the end of the day, a doll is merely a vessel for one's own creativity.

That all said, I feel like if there is a clear favourite in terms of a long-term preference of one/some over the others, then there are "favourites" and "likes" within a collection. Based on personal experience, reducing the numbers to only include "favourites" can inspire one to better enjoy the hobby simply because there is less to do. But, that is not an easy thing to accomplish, because....

Different dolls can represent different things to people. It does not always mean one prefers one over the other.

 

haha, I am dividing my attention to 10+ boys, and confident to say that I love them almost equally and love them very much.

 

I can relate, somewhat. They are like little people to me, but some more than others. One has needed new string for awhile, and he's been waiting patiently. I like knowing he's there, but I really need to wait until my hands are more co-operative since my carpel tunnel syndrome doesn't always give me problems when I'm expecting it. I'd hate to break his tiny parts. My only YOSD girl is really special, and I don't want her to share any of her clothes or things, so I'm not planning on another YOSD girl, but she does have some boys her size to play with. My first and favorite boy has never had a wig that really suits me, but what he does have now is 'close enough'. I do feel a little badly when I buy wigs for others, but I've bought him over a dozen and none really do the trick.

My MSD boy has only been with me a short time. I tried to buy him a Lucky Bag so he can have something to wear. It turned out to have girl things inside instead, so I feel really badly for him right now. He did manage to get a track suit jacket and some socks, but he's Peter Pantsless right now on the shelf. I ordered the pants that coordinate with the jacket and other items to complete the outfit. I felt so sorry for him, I did buy him a very, very nice set of denim overalls that cost more than I would spend on jeans for myself! I think it will be cute, and he will never outgrow or wear them out, and it's a style that's been around for about 100 years, so I'm sure they will last as long as I do, at least!

Some dolls have more clothes than others, some share, the big boys all wear the same size shoes..... so I think they are all doing just fine. A few need faceups, but again, carpel-tunnel scares me right now so I'm waiting it out until it's treated. I like them enough I think they are cute blank anyhow. So, I almost feel guilty, but in the end, they aren't real people and the only thoughts and feelings they have aren't theirs at all, but mine. It doesn't really hurt my feelings much that I can't do better for them, it's just a little frustrating at times. I'm mostly glad to have them, and I enjoy them a lot. That's all that really matters to me. I liked having just one, but having more means I'm not going to handle any one of them too much, so they should all be able to last a very long time. The variety is nice.

 

I can't say I worry about this for other hobbies. Whilst I only have a single doll at the moment I'm not sure it would be an issue. However I do wander away from my hobbies a bunch and then of course wander back into them. I also don't tend to limit myself to just one thing due to favouritism concerns, I would limit myself based on finances and time perhaps.

 

My one doll has an outfit on that is 7 years old. She sat basically untouched for a loooooong time while I took a Hiatus. She might be mad at me since trying to re do her faceup has gone horrendously (jokes). Don’t feel bad to neglect a doll. They don’t mind it

 

Favouritism is not something that I would worry about in the context of dolls whether they be BJDs or Barbies. I haven’t (as yet) imbued the BJDs with detailed individual characters. To me, they are beautiful, customisable objects and I do have favourites. I might focus on one or two at a time and, I admit, there are a few that rarely see the light of day, lack of space being the main issue. I am always intrigued by those who bond with and relate closely to their dolls. While, at the moment, I can’t see myself ever getting to that stage, you never know!

 

I got my first Lati Jia
Then I got more other versions of Jia
And then when I let go coz I only want one doll of each sculpt
I decided to keep the first and sell the other two just becoz there are some “memories” with the first one
Now I missing the other two

Now I would think that feeling of “which doll is more special” is a false feeling
I would say don’t need to be guilty for liking one doll over another

 

I don't worry about favoritism in this particular way, but I do worry about it as far as loving a new doll so much I don't even want the dolls I currently have. I have tried to have only one doll to spoil, but that doesn't work out well. I can love each one individually but then I see them all together and it feels different, if that makes sense? Then I start thinking, this one should go, or I will just keep this one or that one. I wish I could have all the dolls and not get that way, but it seems to be how my brain is wired. Maybe if I had unlimited funds and a bigger house I would feel different.
Maybe this isn't so different from what you are saying? I can still love the doll, just not enough to keep it when compared to another doll I like more. I guess it is a good thing I didn't feel this way about my kids HAHA.

 

I actually enjoy developing characters for my dolls and exercising my emotions through them, but I’ve never worried about favoritism. Of my fairly large crew, all are constantly on display in my home so I visually see them throughout the day as I walk by...thus keeping them equally in my mind on a consistent basis. I love exploring fashion ideas and am disciplined enough with my sewing habits that each doll by now has a complete wardrobe. So even if I’m not interacting with them for awhile, none is ever neglected because all their needs are met and they’re constantly seen and enjoyed. This has enabled me to stay equally bonded with all of them rather than just one or a few.

 

my "favorite" doll tends to rotate between my dolls. if i'm waiting for some reason on something i need to do for one of them (commission an outfit, or a faceup, or i need to do a scary mod and i'm not mentally prepared for it yet) i tend to pay a lot of attention to the dolls that don't need anything from me. right now i'm favoring my dust of dolls jama because she has a faceup already and i'm having fun spoiling her with outfits, even though i have three dolls that desperately need my attention. they'll all get a turn getting spoiled eventually!

 

The good thing about dolls is that they don't really get to have opinions...
They don't mind if you spend more time tinkering with one over another. They're not capable of being jealous, since they're inanimate.

So... don't worry about it, OP. Your dolls won't.

 

I think it’s perfectly ok to have a favorite! Enjoy your dolls however you like. If you get more enjoyment out of giving each one equal attention, that it totally valid too. They don’t mind, either way.

 

Thank you for your opinions, everybody! Sometimes, getting several other perspectives is really a good thing.

And by now, I have come to good terms with my crew. During the last year, I enjoy very much just looking at my dolls. A big contribution is that they now live in glass cabinets in my personal playroom, where I have a better overview.

There is certainly still room for improvement (faceups, oi!), but I do not feel so overwhelmed any more.

I am very happy now in that regard. Every place is occupied in these cabinets, I am at a happy place now regarding my collection.