Would it offend you as a owner?

I had this happen and I was confused and a bit miffed over it. Not necessarily because of the ask as the person was fairly polite about it.

What annoyed me was that the person asking me contacted the individual who sold me the head for my name so they could then ask me sell said head to them. It was a gift head and the only way you could get it was if you bought the fullset or manage to snap it up 2nd hand like I did. I'd owned the head for about a year at the point when this other person contacted me. I politely declined, telling them that the head was a character of mine from one of my novels and that I wouldn't be parting with it. Thankfully they left it at that and didn't continue to try to change my mind (which wouldn't work).

I have asked a close friend about a doll they own but I've also known them for 16 years and we hang out regularly. When I asked, it was simply to say that if they ever thought about selling it, I'd appreciate first dibs (which they said I'd have if they ever decided to sell). I'd never dream of asking a total stranger to sell me their doll out of the blue.

 

I wouldn't be offended unless they were rude or demanding. While I'd probably never do it because I'm an anxious baby, I can totally understand why someone might. I would only really be upset if they were demanding or continued to hound me about it after I already said no.

 

Somebody just did this to me the other day on a social media platform. She DMd me after seeing me share my dolls and complimented me on them and asked me if I'd ever sell them.

Anybody on that doll forum who has been paying the least bit of attention to my posts pretty much knows that these are my new mostly used dolls that I've gotten since finally being housed again after a very long time homeless. I had a horrible few years and literally nearly died a couple of times.

Just having a crew of dolls and an apartment to house them in is a joy for me seriously. No way I'm even thinking of selling them. I'm just too happy to have a little collection again.

I feel like people who do this are a bit lazy. I duly appreciate that they like my dolls but I also feel like they just want to skip all the work I put into my dolls and get them the easy way.

I am not a fan of unsolicited offers or queries to sell out of the blue. If I wanted to sell a doll it would already be listed as for sale.

One woman once she kept upping her price for a rare doll I have. I was like "Give it up I'm NOT selling her!"

That doll now is going for outrageous sums and every once in a while she still emails me offering me some nice $$$ but even homeless and with the few dolls I had left sitting in a storage locker I was NOT selling that doll because the person who bought it for me is now deceased and she was very dear to me. Plus I just LOVE that doll. She's just a dream doll for me.

So getting these offers from her is kind of annoying and rude but otherwise she's a very nice person so I just treat her nicely and refuse.

But I hate it honestly. If the doll isn't in the Marketplace or bring auctioned then it's just NOT for sale...

 

This is heartwarming. You are a good friend.

 

So I've definitely been on both sides of this question. When I was a newbie, I fell in love with a doll I saw on here and innocently asked the owner where they bought their doll, how much would it go for, would they be willing to sell it, and all that. Luckily, the owner realized I was a newbie and kindly informed me that it was this super limited edition doll that was no longer available and was fully customized by them, gave me some nice tips for newbies about the BJD world, suggested I take some time look up the handy dandy Rules and Help/FAQS section for DoA, and cautioned me to be careful of albeit innocent questions that might get me banned as the next person might not be as nice as they are. Of course I felt horrified that I did such a newbie thing, but again...I was so young and innocent back then. I was really grateful that person was nice about it and I learned a lot from that initial message.

Then it happened to me and I was like, "Oh...whoa...so this is how it feels." I had purchased a sculpt that was done by a famous face-up artist at the time and this floating head already was popular on here for a hot minute. The sculpt was from a doll that was a limited edition doll from this company that didn't rerelease it ever again to my knowledge. It got known that I was the owner of this somewhat famous floating head and started getting offers for it. For the newbies that asked, I was kind and just said, "Oh no. It's not for sale. But here's information for the company and artist if you are interested in their products that are available" and also cautioned them about the dangers of asking people a little too aggressively about something in their collection and to refer to the DoA's Rules & Terms of Service.

Now, it's different when a newbie sends a message to me versus someone that is a seasoned BJD owner. When I get messages from someone that was a little too aggressive in wanting to purchase something from my collection and they have been in the hobby for a while, I do the nice "Oh no. It's not for sale and I'm not interested in selling any part of my collection. Thank you for expressing interest in it though. Good luck with your hunt!" kind of generic message. If they keep messaging me, which has happened, I ignore them or if worse case scenario will block and/or report them. I don't like to report people as I try to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But when they get kind of stalkerish or send scary messages demanding I sell something from my collection, that needs to stop as no one should be bullied into selling any part of their collection if they have no interest in selling.

If this happens to you, just kind of gauge what kind of person the original sender of the message is. If it is a newbie, be nice, and create your own personalized rejection message but also still give them hope that maybe one day they will be able to find their Grail doll. If it is someone that should know better, up to you how you want to proceed, especially if it starts to escalate. If all else fails, message a moderator if you ever feel uncomfortable.

I think it should probably be said that if someone isn't selling something, don't ask to buy their doll or something from their collection. Hobby etiquette, right? Check first if they have a For Sale or WTB/WTT. But do not ask if you've been just stalking their dolly collection list or months or saw they posted a picture of their doll. It's a more sure thing to just search the dolly Marketplace for your desired object first than randomly messaging doll owners that you know they have a certain doll in their collection.

 

It's annoying, but it's not that big of a deal if they ask nicely and leave you alone after the first time. Sure the social etiquette is a bit weak and I've always been confused about why people ask about dolls the owner hasn't even mentioned not liking, but it's whatever. Definitely not something to get rude over in any case!

 

It doesn't bother me at all because I think that asking is the right and polite thing to do. Of course, it's annoying if it happens a lot, but it's a question easy to turn down. I've had it happen to me not with a doll, but with another collector's item. All I said is that if I ever sold it, I would keep the person in mind. The question did take me by surprise, though, but I can understand the desperation that makes people ask in the first place.

Naturally, it's a whole different thing if they ask rudely or in a demanding fashion, but I'm gonna busy myself with theoretical scenarios until they happen to me.

 

I never mind it at all. I like to have backup buyers if I one day want to sell a doll. I just reply and let them know I will keep them in mind if the time comes.

 

This hasn’t happened to me and, tbh, I’d be surprised if anyone asked to buy one of my dolls.They a bit tough to get, but not rare, full sets or even popular sculpts.

As a career admin professional for 30+ years, I interact with all manner of random people, from all walks of life every day. Nowadays office dress is mostly casual (depends on the industry) and you don’t know if you’re talking to the janitor or CEO.

It probably sounds old fashioned but I find it’s simpler to be polite to everyone and assume good intent (until they prove otherwise). If it happened, I would treat them way I treat everyone I come across: thanks for asking. My doll is not for sale. Have a nice day.

 

I might actually accept a good, albeit random, offer depending on the doll and if they're polite

It seems like a very newbie thing to do so I can't fault someone if they're at least being nice. I can definitely see how getting asked would be annoying though, especially if it's curt or rude. I see this in the comment section on Youtube for Dollfie Dream artists all the time and get secondhand embarrassment.

 

It has happened before once, but the person who reached out to me was very polite about it and when I declined they accepted the answer and that was that. It didn't bother me at all.

I think the only way I would be offended if if they were pushy or didn't accept a refusal to sell. But I wouldn't be offended that they asked, I would be offended about their lack of manners.

 

It wouldn’t offend me if the person asking was polite about it. I would just let them know that the doll in question is not for sale and that I have no plans of selling them. If the person kept pushing afterwards, I would be annoyed that they ignored my refusal.