"You can't buy her too!" Friends forbidding you to get the same doll

No, I've never run into this issue with my friends, mainly because they're all afraid to take the plunge... for now! Muahahah.

But anyways, if a friend had some kind of freakout and said I couldn't buy the same mold as her and I really loved it, I'd roll my eyes and buy it anyways. Then I'd make it my own, and show her while explaining that everything was okay. I wasn't buying her character, I just bought the same canvas.

 

I have run into this situation before. I had some friends in high school who felt that if they liked something only they were allowed to like it. If you liked it before them, it was okay. Heaven forbid you find it a day later than them.

It is just plain selfish for her to tell you your not allowed to buy something because she likes it. Forgive the hyperbole, but what if she decided you couldn't drink water because she liked it?

Okay, so that's EXTREMELY exaggerated, but you get my point. While I understand why she would want to be the only owner of a certain doll, it is unreasonable for her to have that expectation. Can you imagine if we all behaved like that? How could we even have a collective hobby without at least one repeat doll? Besides that, BJD is all about customizing. The whole BJD community could purchase the same doll, and chances are that no two would look alike.

In this scenario, she is exhibiting poor behavior which is just childish. If a three year old were to say "It's MINE and you can't have it!", his or her parents would sit them down for a talk about sharing. For anyone older than that, this behavior is as pitiable as it is pitiful.

All that said, I suspect you'll just have to deal with it if you want her to be your friend.

 

Wow, that's just as silly as the OP's friend saying not to buy the same doll. Sure, it sounds like this friend is acting a little silly right now, but just reading across this board it's obvious how some people can get really swept up in their dolls and if she just recieved this doll she may just be feeling this initial, 'omg, it's actually mine!' moment and doesn't want it to be spoiled. Nothing as dramatic as to do away an entire friendship for, or maybe I just value my relationships more than to just throw them away over a silly comment.

Anyway, to the OP, as others have said, your friend is perhaps just feeling a little protective of her doll right now, especially if she loves it as much as you say she does, and I think reassuring her that if you do purchase the same one you have no intention of copying hers. Yes, it is a bit immature forher to outright forbid you to buy it, but if you truly love it then you should buy it anyway, although I'm pretty sure that flaunting it in her face would be just as immature as her original statement (as some people have implied). Personally I have never run into this problem as not only do I have very few BJD friends, but my taste in dolls runs along the unpopular side. Sure, I have a few that it seems like everyone and their mother has (aka DoC Kirill and Ivan), but in my case I just work to make them look as different as possible from those around me who I know own the same sculpt, and perhaps showing your friend that you have your own unique way of styling dolls that's different than hers would appease her.

 

Actually I have a little of an idea of what is happening in your friend's mind to tell you that.

If I'll have a friend that lives nearby and with whom I always reunite to meetings with my dolls then I rather not buy any mold that my friend has even if I love it and think is gorgeous. Not because I don't want to, but simply cos she has one and I would rather respect her unique choice and buy me another of the thousands out there, why would I want the same one when she has it and I can play with it everytime I want, cos she is my friend?

But then again, I will not prohibite my friend to buy the same mold as one of my own cos it's her decision. Of course, I would feel a little weird about it, but they always can be customized different and all, right ^^U...

If then my friend would copy my customization... then I will be mad ==U...

 

It is quite childish for you to be forbidden to get a doll of the same sculpt, just because your friend has one. As several have said already, with the sheer number of options you have for customization, two people can have the same doll and they look nothing alike. So it really shouldn't be a big deal. That aside, it's your money and your happiness. You do what makes you happy, and if you want to get the same doll, and your friend has such a problem with it, it's time for a serious talk regarding your friendship...

 

Actually I have come across this but not between my friend and I I have seen a girl who gets extremely annoyed and competitive if someone gets the same doll as her. For the life of me I can't think why. It seems rather childish to me.

I do have a really close friend in this hobby and neither of us have problems with owning the same doll. She was fine with me buying a DZ Leo (she even let me borrow hers for a little bit while I waited for mine) and I know she wants a SD13 Elena like mine and I'm fine with that. She doesn't even mind if I use some of her dolls names (well the ones I helped come up with) and I also wouldn't have a problem with her doing the same.
The fact is, if your friendship is good you should be pleased for each other having things they want. It makes me really happy to see my friends happy!!

 

I am in the opposite situation with my RL Dollie friends. We do enjoy each other getting the same doll. Each of us have different style and it is a lot of fun to see what each of us do to style the dolls

Often when my friend sees something good we contact each other and we would get them. Even the same outfit does not look the same after each of us are done with dressing our dolls up. We style our dolls differently, I mix and match the outfit different; thus we enjoy looking at each other's doll and get inspired.

 

I've never experienced this problem, but if I did, I think I'd have some not-so-nice words for my "friend." Nobody has the right to tell you which dolls you can buy and it's actually pretty selfish of your friend to tell you that you can't get that same doll even if you love it. I'd say to get what you want. If your friend wants to continue to be immature about it, then you can have a talk with her about why this kind of thing was never an issue before.

 

I've never ran into this kind of problems, mainly because my irl BJD friends have a wide variety of preferences so it's really rare that 2 of us end up wanting the same doll. It did happen twice that me and a friend wished for the same doll, and in one of those cases my friend ended up ordering the doll. The way I see it, when other people by dolls I want, I get to see and have more dolls that I like around. So to me when someone else buys a doll that's on my wishlist I'm happy for them and I get to see a doll I love irl. And if we end up buying the same doll so be it. I'm sure our interpretation of it will be different.

 

My bff is also a doll collector, and has quite a bit more money than me, thanks to a steady job- we also have the same taste in sculpts, as well as the order we'd like to get them in. We've never once had a disagreement involving the other not being 'allowed' to get the same sculpt.

One thing about bjds is the same doll can look so different depending on face-up, eyes, wig and clothes.
If you really like the doll, go for it! Don't let your friend decide for you- for the money and the sentimental value there's no point listening to someone else.

If you don't want to lose her friendship or fall out with her in some way, try to re-iterate what I said above, about the diversity of these dolls, convince her that even if you do have the same mould, they will not look the same.

 

Me and my best friend both kind of got into this hobby together, and we did at one point have the same doll, although she had to sell hers but plans to rebuy her. We loved the fact that we had the same doll and talked about it all the time. We always took pictures of the two dolls together goofing around.

 

I don't think it quite matters for dolls. For even if they are of the same sculpts, you've got to consider how your individual tastes apply to their face-ups, clothes, personalities etc. They may turn out to be very different indeed, if a friend/close acquaintance having the exact same thing gets under the skin of same people.

Personally, I've friends who own the same sculpts (Thank you Luts, for your lovely summer events. Ahem.) and they haven't yet come to odds 'cause of that. My Gwyne'd belonged to a friend from my local doll community previously, who also has (had?) another Lati M with her. I'm fine with it and I'm pretty sure that she is, too.

Bottom line is, unless your friend's someone who has serious issues with not having a sculpt that's singularly hers within your group, you have the right to get who/whatever you wish, since it's your own doll.

 

My best friend and I tend to avoid getting the same doll molds. Why? Because then we have more variety. I live through her dolls and she through mine. Often we show dolls to each other, hoping the other will pick it up over us. We do have one doll that is the same (Soom Euclase), but have done completely different things with them. (Mine is female now). So it's not an issue. So it may be just this fear that she didn't want you to have the same doll as her, but if you explain how your going to have your's different, it shouldn't be an issue. And then emphesis you can do twin pictures as times together as well.

 

I can actually understand this... Its because when someone you know has the same thing as you it just doesnt seem like "yours" or as special... Its being selfish yes, but still... Its just how people feel. We cant help it.

 

actually to clarify, if this happened, i would actually find a new doll... after all others are more important than i am. they get first choice. So i would keep looking at my second favorite until i love it so much i forget about the first. I have a individuality complex...

 

Me and my best friend have a couple of dolls that, while not being the exact same dolls, look awfully alike. (Bygg/Beyla and Afi/Ai) To make it worse we buy a lot of the same outfits too.
It has never bothered any of us.

If I had a friend who forbid me to buy a doll I liked, I would buy it anyway. Not to be mean, but it's really not anyones place to tell me, which dolls I can't buy.

 

I find that mindset a bit juvenile if you ask me. But then again, if you're going to be spending 600+ on a doll then you should get what you want, even if it is the same as your friends. It is your money after all, and its not as if they're going to look exactly alike. (Unless if you both get default face ups an the same wigs, which usually isn't the case with most owners. )

We actually had 3 Bobobie Apollo's at our last doll meetup here in portland, and it just so happened all looked Drastically different from one another. They were all played with equally and admired by everyone the same amount. So really, I don't think there really should be an issue of buying a doll. After all, you are never going to be the only person to buy a particular doll. If you were, then the company might as well discontinue every doll after you buy it. We are not all going to have beautiful individual snowflake molds of dolls, which is a good thing or there would be something seriously wrong with how a doll company was making a doll. They are all going to end up differently with the final product, and all are going to end up being their own 'person' in the end; so restricting someone just because you like the same mold doesn't make sense.

 

Haha, I always try to get my friends to buy dolls that I really like but would never personally get. That way, those dolls can be in my life AND I didn't have to buy them, keep them, or take care of them. One particular friend I'm thinking of has similar tastes to mine, but we have never gotten the same doll. If we ever did I think it would be cool because we could take twin pictures, which not a lot of people can do. Actually, we do each have a similar doll from the same company. I got mine first and it was a total bore playing with it until my friend got theirs and the dolls were able to interact and be taken outside in public together. It's a lot easier getting weird stares when your friend is with you getting the same stares. However, I can think of a situation where I would be a little upset if my friend got the same doll. That situation would be if they had my rare discontinued Soom doll that I feel really lucky and special for owning XD

I may also be upset if there was a doll I loved that, for some reason, I couldn't get and my friend got it. None of these situations have ever happened to me though.

 

That just seems a little... sad. You always have to "settle?" Do you ever get a first choice?

I don't think I could ever just "settle" especially for something that has an open number made... unless it was wayyyyy out of my price range.

There's always the option of just getting it anyway and never showing it off to friends since they obviously don't want to see another one.

 

OOOOHHH YEEEEEEEEES!!....i'm one of those but i will not make others to give up on a doll they love...i will give it up.
I cant stand having the same dolls as my close friends....i dont know why, its just a NO NO in my book.
So i give the idea of getting the doll as soon as someone gets its, its not that much of a problem cos my wishlist in vaaaaaaaast.