"You can't buy her too!" Friends forbidding you to get the same doll

that is SO me xD me and my BFF were both like that when we were younger (collection bratz dolls)...
I dont mind as much as i used too. just last year i was still like that. now its just: ''dont get my dream doll before me..! >0 ''
so i dont mind with EVERY dolls (just the ones i've been wanting really badly for a while) and if i already have it, i reeeeally dont care if my friend buy it too unless she try to make it looks like mine >.>;; i would find that annoying.
my BJD-friend understand that. when she was telling me the dolls she want and i would go ''OH YEAH I love this one so much too!! '' then she would automatically not get it to be polite and i didnt even told her too Ôo; so apparently its a normal thing to do ô_e

 

me and my friend were pretty much heavily battling over who would buy this one doll, but eventually we came to the conclusion that with different wigs, face-ups, etc, it would really look quite different anyway, so it would be okay if we both got it.
but the funny thing is, in the end neither of us bought it at all. XD

 

Sorry, sounds like teenage immaturity crap to me.
Best friend or not, anyone that told me I couldn't have a specific sculpt simply because they had one first wouldn't be considered as much of a friend in my book. It's petty crap and said friend needs to grow the hell up; if you want the doll - get one!

 

Yeah, I would seriously wonder what was up with a friend if this hit. It's like... "do I even know you?" It's a doll. Even if the doll had the exact same hair/wig/eyes/clothes/etc, there's absolutely no call for "you can't have it too!!!" x_x

As Leloi said, that person is not a friend. -.-

 

Um... I', not sure because I didn't have any experience in this case but for another case my friends love to have similar things with each other. ^^
But yah I saw this problem when one of my coworker was trying to by things that I already have but you care isn't like me and my coworker you buy because you love that doll I think she should understand. Why can't someone buy thing their love?

 

wow,like some of u said,it's really a childlish thing.i think.if u have friends who got the same interested with u,u should have support him/her.why forbid???i can't understand. i think wonderful interests should be share together,that's friends should do,and if u love the same doll like ur friends,ur friends should give her some good advise,and support her,not tell her don't buy the same doll.it's really wired.>.<

 

In the cases I witnessed where one person forbade other people to buy the same mold she had, I strongly suspect that it was because the doll owned by that person wouldn't be special anymore if it wasn't the only one of its kind in the country. Instead of loving the doll for what it is, a special status was given to it the easy way. It was also a special status that could be lost easily as it concerned a standard edition doll that can be freely bought directly from the doll company. Instead of trying to make the doll special through customisation, the unique "only one in the country" status was defended with nail and tooth.
It was ugly to witness.

Another sad story was a case of other people forbidding someone to have the same doll mold my sister has and that person was harassed until she sold the doll. You may think this is crazy, but it did happen. Those people kind of liked my sister's doll and didn't want another doll to steal some of the spotlight, I guess. It has made my sister very sad as she was not involved and she really loves her doll and would like to see other people owning the same mould. She was very supportive when I got the same mold.
So I find it quite sad when people forbid other people to buy the same mold, saying that would make their doll less special or something. If you love something, share it.

 

I have a quite different opinion than others.. I am myself, is what you called an 'immature' teenage girl. I do have some thought of hoping that my friends won't find out about BJD..so then I will be the first person in school that own a BJD...rather than the person that follows..

And..if I were your best friend...I think I will almost has the same reaction..because I will be worried about so many things.
I will worry if your doll will be customized more beautiful than mine.
I will worry your photostories thread will be more attractive and get more attention.
I will worry your doll get so many beautiful clothes, etc.

BUT..people like me WILL realize sometimes later that we can't change other people decision of what to and what not to choose or buy. And then we will figure it out how to make a win-win situation. Because we are teenager after all..we WILL learn about how to appreciate others. It just that we will need some time.

So my advice is : Discuss! Talk girl, talk! Talk with her and assure her that your doll won't be the same..and explain her why. Also..losing friendship because of BJD is stupid. BJDs are very nice and so on...but the real treasure is your friend.


waiiit..I don't think she is forbidding you (hell..how could someone without authorities (parents,laws) forbid us?)..I think she is hoping that you won't buy the same.

 

I guess I'm very lucky to be in a community that I am. At somepoint our scottish doll comunitty will own at least 3 Borys and this prospect doesn't upset us one bit! XD
We love the mould so much we're kinda excited.

I'd hate for a friend to have the same reaction as a lot of the stories here but I guess I'd respect her wishes.

 

It seems like your friend is a very insecure person. If a person were confident in general, he/she wouldn't feel this way.

I take it from Clarissaholic above of what she has said about worrying that other people's dolls would look better than others, that she (clarissaholic herself) is insecure. If you were secure or confident, there is no need in worrying that your doll won't be amazing to others. People like different types of dolls, even the less popular molds. Buying a doll based on popularity and not loving it yourself, *can* be a mistake.

 

Ah yes yes. That's how I am I think. I worried about many things. XD. (Thanks! I will build up some confidence from now on)

And I do think maybe your friend feels like me too...but who knows? Just talk with her.

 

Besides the fact it is quite strange another person tells you what you should have or not, in my opinion that is in everyone's free choice, from my point of view a person who loves you, that is what true friends do, will want you to be happy and to have what you really want. Same way, if you are a true friend of him/her, you will feel the same way in return.

A friend of mine, who lives in another city in my country, wanted to get a CP Luts Delf Tanning Lishe to have her in her own way after seeing mine. She kindly told me about it and she did and the truth is I felt glad of inspiring her. Some time later she got a CP Luts Delf Soo and I already had one (That was my first BJD) and I do not feel she should not had done it because of it at all.

Does this point of view of mine changes if the friend who wants a sculpt I already have lives nearby? No, it does not. I think the same whatever the distance is. A friend who lives in a neighbour city got a CP Luts Delf El after me and I am truly glad to see one so different to the one I have.

This has happened to me in the opposite way only once. Another friend of mine who lives in the same neighbour city already had a Luts Senior Delf Abadon when I got my LE edition of him and she has never told me something like the stated on this thread.

Customizing opens the door for us to make the sculpts we get our unique special way so you may have the ones other people have and still respect the BJD they "made". For me the real question is, Why should be more suitable that people you do not know could get them than your loved ones, such as friends? Everyone should be able to. It is everyone's own and free decision. Why not?

 

I never got that kind of comments from my few friends and I will never tell a friend to not get a doll they like because I have it, I would go the total opposite actually since looking at what other people do with the same doll is quite awesome =D

Though some feel they shouldn't get the same or even not name it the way they wanted because I have one with the same name....
I find it weird since you shouldn't really get something or not because of somebody else, but because you want to :/

 

I remember doing that as a kid living with her cousins and having the exact same taste in dolls. To a certain extent, it's understandable. You want something different that can be seen as associated with you, because it's important to you.

However, this is a horse of a different color. In this hobby, you can get the exact same doll and still have it look completely different from the other. The dolls are just the base for your creativity.

I myself would encourage a friend to get the same doll just to see what they ended up doing with it, but since the few doll friends I have are of varying tastes, it'll probably never happen. Still, if you really want that doll, I don't think you should let her hinder your purchase. If she's gonna get mad at you for buying something you want, she'll probably get over it.

 

I think it is a little unreasonable. If one doll is good wouldn’t two be better?

I guess I'm a hypocrite. My sister wants a doll but I insist she gets a volks doll and she insists that it is super reasonably priced. So I have been looking for her (and me haha) but the only dolls that I see regularly the fit all of the criteria are the four sisters head mold. But it just so happens that I already have one and I’d be weird if we had the same doll even if they were painted completely different.

 

This is really off-topic for DoA. We prefer the threads to remain focused on the actual abjd themselves. This is a perfect discussion for an off-site personal blog or livejournal.